recolle | i want the good life ( OPEN. )

[ So, things she didn't expect to see: this, apparently. Things can get pretty weird in this city, especially with all the hallucinomemories and crap, but uh.

Looks like some people have snapped more than others. Nisha's on her way to do a little bit of shopping, and there's... a good crowd of people blocking her way. She's tempted to just elbow her way through. So she does, and it's honestly... yeah, she doesn't blame anyone for staring.

What the hell. ]

Couldn't find a person to wrestle, huh? Had to go with a stuffed animal.

[ Even in spite of all the prank calls and crap, Nisha's having a fair bit of fun. Who knew something like this could be so great? It's definitely letting her have a hell of a time. She gets to fake arrest people, they get scared, it's a win-win.

And heck, look at that poor sucker. He's a kid, but that's fine. Probably ideal. Outside one of the restaurants she frequents, she approaches him, Officer Look in place. It's a very severe look, as if Nisha wasn't intimidating to begin with. ]

James Barnes? Officer Nisha Kadam. I need to have a word with you.

[ Nisha's used to seeing some weird shit. Chocobos top that list, for sure. Blue and green being gone, that's nearly as bad. Weird appearances, sure. But this, this is... a lot different. Nisha might be staring at Arlene's hair, trying to figure out how the hell it works.

... Eh, screw it. She flags Arlene down. ]

'Scuse me, ma'am? C'mere for a second.

[ She's completed the square but, honestly? She's having too much fun fake arresting people to stop. It's like she's gone mad with power, and Nisha Kadam can't be stopped.

She just has to figure out a good reason to fake arrest this one. Nisha steps out of the station, turning to look at Freya. ]

You skulkin' around here, kitten?

[ There are plenty of things Nisha's good at. Shooting's at the top of the list. Drinking people under the table's a close second. Hell, she's cocky enough, she'd take on any challenge. Even if it's not explicitly a challenge, she'll make it one.

Basically: She's got a wide grin directed right at Zoro. ]

Dance contest?

[ Doesn't matter if he said contest, that's what it is now. ]

"Go caroling, but only sing Never Gonna Give You Up"... Seriously? Ain't caroling a Christmas thing?

[ Laaaaaame. Nisha rolls her eyes as she lowers the bingo card. She taps it, annoyed, against her thigh, and turns to Jaeger with another eyeroll. ]

Can you believe this crap? Honestly.

[ She's honestly kind of surprised Aria's asked her to help out. Out of all the people, she's asking Nisha for assistance. It's strange, that they've become something close to friends, but Nisha won't push her away or anything. Hell, maybe there's even a touch of something close to... affection? there.

... Eh, she'll ignore it, it's fine. Regardless, Nisha's invited Aqua over. Her apartment's pretty swanky, even with all the Western decor. Her leather couch is super comfortable, too. ]

So. [ She sets down a glass of lemonade in front of Aria. ] Got any ideas, Blue?

[ Whenever she's not doing bingo crap, Nisha can be found at her usual haunts: Cabin Eleven is her bar of choice, because they've got some pretty damn good booze. Unfortunately, when she's in a super good mood, Nisha can get a little... rowdy. Loud. At least she's not instigating bar fights.

She also frequents the shooting range several times a week, especially when she's particularly stressed. Nisha's a good shot--she gets bullseyes more often than not, and when she doesn't, she's prone to cursing pretty loudly. Come in on a bad day, and Nisha's slammed her gun down, looking irate. ]

How can I get any better if the goddamn targets won't cooperate?

[ Or on a good day, after she's done with a session, she straight-up lets out a whoop. ]

Bullseye! Nice job!

[ Finally, Nisha goes to the fitness center later at night on Thursdays. Find her swimming--and check out those scars on her arms and legs, oof--or lifting weights. Nisha's got some muscles, and she's definitely not someone you'd want to fight. Unless she comes over to you, hands fitted into gloves. ]

Wanna go a round or two? I'll go easy on ya.

[ Nisha's used to getting calls at weird times. It's the nature of her job, and all, but she has to admit this is getting out of hand. She's already gotten a prank call from some kid who thought they'd be funny and try to act the part of weed dealer, but...

Ah, hell. She picks up the phone, despite the unfamiliar number. Who knows, right? ]

Nisha Kadam here.

[Ah, prank calls. Shuji isn't very good at pranks in general, because they usually require you to be somewhere near a person who may get pissed off and punch you in the face. Prank calls are safer, but he's still not very good at them.

At least Shuji's pretty sure his target has never heard his voice, so that's one thing...]

Hello, this is Ted from Discreet Desires calling to confirm your order of three male strippers for a bachelorette party.

[ Oh, good, it's another one. Nisha's quiet for a good several moments. She could laugh it off like she did with Sena. But people who prank her?

Not getting off that easily. Nisha lets that silence linger on for a few more moments before injecting a good amount of anger into her voice. ]

Tell me, Ted, do you fuck up this badly all the time?

[SHIT SHIT SHIT]

I-I don't know what you mean, ma'am?

Edited (stupid keyboard) 2017-07-06 23:04 (UTC)

[ Oh, man, this is gonna be good. ]

I was very clear in my instructions, Ted. Does "three male strippers" equal "ten female and male strippers"? I had very specific needs, Ted from Discreet Desires, and you've gone and fucked that all up.

[...he doesn't know if he should be relieved or not.]

Of, of course ma'am. I'm sorry, something must have happened with our database and improperly recorded your order. We'll fix that immediately.

That's not going to be good enough.

[ She lets that silence linger again. ]

I'm tracing your phone call right now. Tell me, Ted, do you have a family?

[Okay, so.

On the one hand: she is absolutely fucking with him, given that he doesn't work for any stripper company and he really doubts she ordered strippers from a company that's based out of Dayton. So she probably won't actually kill him, and may not even be able to trace the call.

On the other hand: holy shit she's terrifying.]

N-no ma'am, I don't.

[ And then she starts laughing. ]

I'm just fucking with you, kiddo. Lemme guess, pranking an authority figure was on your bingo card?

Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am. Won't happen again.

[Still... kind of scared...]

[ As he should be. ]

Don't go wetting yourself, kiddo, it was a good try. But you should really learn how to prank better.

With all due respect, ma'am, I think I'd be better off just not pranking anyone ever again.

[He only did this under duress! The pressure of bingo.]

[ It's not like you can tell people "look I need to wrestle this tiger for a bingo card that I got sent to my phone, it's important." Sometimes words don't matter all too much. His center tile said "wrestle a stuffed tiger in the middle of the Towers" and so here he was, giving this pretty large stuffed tiger a run for its money.

He's not super sure what counts as "wrestling" so he's settled for suplexing and generally pinning the tiger to the ground. Two out of three seems like the safe amount, right? He wanted to be thorough, okay.

If it's any consolation, he totally paid for the tiger. He wasn't going to fake-beat-up an innocent stuffed animal without going through the proper channels. Kiryu's not looking to start his life of crime just yet.

More surprisingly, Nisha's the first person to actually talk to him. Most people were staring, gawking or taking pictures. She seems important somehow. Is she security, maybe? ]

I can explain.

[ "Bingo made me do it" is not a good explanation, Kaz. ]

Uh-huh.

[ Do you hear that, Kaz? That's the sound of overwhelming skepticism. Honestly Nisha thinks it's kind of hilarious, a grown-ass man wrestling a stuffed animal. A pretty huge stuffed animal at that.

But... it's not the time for jokes. All's fair in bingo and memories... ]

When you're finished feeling up that tiger, I'm gonna need you to come with me.

You sure about that? Could give you a couple pointers.

[ Eh, Kiryu can probably leave it at that, probably. He wrestled his tiger and drew a crowd, that's probably good, right? He stands up, hauling the giant stuffed animal over his shoulder. ]

It's a stuffed animal, there's nothing to feel up.

[ Obviously... but Kiryu's a little into the flat humor himself. ]

Are you a cop?

You're very gracious, ma'am, but I have to respectfully decline.

[He wants to just never think of this again.]

i want the good life ( OPEN. )

kiryu - you're under arrest

james barnes - you're under arrest

arlene - you're under arrest

freya - you're under arrest

zoro - breakdance competition

jaeger - never gonna carol again

aria - helping with a prank call

open!

shuji - prank call

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