recolle | open || ain't no party like a birthday party

Entry tags:

open || ain't no party like a birthday party

WHO: Minako, Sakura, Ragna, and you!
WHERE: One of the arcade bars in the city.
WHEN: March 10th
WHAT: BIRTHDAY PARTY!
WARNINGS: None foreseen! Feel free to threadjack for Minako's Hot Potato Categories game.

[Welcome to the Emporium, an arcade bar that Minako and Sakura have decided to host their joint birthday party at! Come on in and have some fun playing games, eating junk food, and just hanging out with the birthday girls (and guy, if he decides to come).

There are, of course, the numerous arcade games that the place is known for, ranging from the old school 2v2 fighters to the shooting gallery kinds. But there are a smattering of other games as well, like DDR, darts, mini hoops, skeeball, and the pool table, too. There's also a wall of crane games in the back, with plenty of random and mostly cute prizes to win.

Make a stop by the purikura booth if you have time. Make some duck lips at the camera and then take the snaps home! (Or give them to the birthday girls for the memories.)

Oh, and be sure to exchange your money for tokens before you play all these games. The token machine seems kind of finicky, though. Maybe a strong (and hopefully discrete?) kick will help jumpstart it.

Walk to the dining area, and there'll be a feast waiting you! The arcade is providing a ton of pizza and wings, as well as alcohol, if you can show your ID. For dessert, there's the cake that Shuji made for the girls, as well as Minako's lemon tea cakes. Those are limited supply, though, so snag one before everyone eats it up.

Next to the dining area, there's a big sign that says "DUNK TANK OUTSIDE". Maybe take a look? Just be reaaaally sure you want to climb in before you do it, though. The towels provided by the arcade are pretty small.

And finally, if you need a break from the chaos, there's a couple of couches on the second floor. Take a load off and watch from above.]

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[ He swallows; his eyes looking over to Howard and raising an eyebrow at the unfinished sentence. Rather have them, hm? ]

Do you like them? [ It is a benign question that he had asked Sakura a month ago, and did not realize that it was the worst sort of question to ask. With Howard, Kei feels like he should ask this from time to time. The man's exhaustion with the world may lead him to being in a pit of misery. His intrusive starts and stops, but he finishes it: For my own selfishness this time, I would like for our darkness to match a little. ]

That's fair. I'm very hands-off with looking after Sakura. I believe that she's been watched over more than most, and could use with someone that lets her make mistakes from time to time. [ He looks away as he tips the bottle back, again. A soft ahh as he finishes. ] And we speak of you. [ A beat. ] Both of us are fond of you, Howard.

Like them? What, my eyes?

[He's not expecting the question, and he blinks, unsure how to answer.]

I-I don't know. I used to hate them, but... [He feels off-kilter all of a sudden. Kei thinks they're pretty. Shuji, wonderful Shuji, hadn't even cared when they were nothing but holes. Atsushi had hugged him and told him they were alright.]

If you like them, then... [What is he saying? He lets out a huff.] What I mean to say, is that I'm...warming up to them, I suppose.

[And with that, he takes a swig of his drink, finally, the bitter taste of the alcohol not managing to quell the sudden disjointed feelings in his chest.]

[The last part of Kei's statement doesn't help much with that at all.]

F-fond? [He knows Sakura is, but Kei? They talk about him? He feels himself stammering as he takes another drink, cheeks slightly flushed.] I mean, that's...nice. [What do I even say to that?] I-I'm glad.

[ Sakura said something similar. He also flinches just a little as he thinks that he has upset Howard accidentally. Kei doesn't know what it is about the question that seems to cause such distress, but he breathes in deep through his nose to let out a half sigh. ]

I hope you come to like them, Howard. [ An odd sort of wish for someone. He wonders why he wishes it. There isn't any warm feeling beneath it. Something to say? No, he supposes that sometimes, he wants to say something comforting even if he doesn't quite know what to say. ] Besides, when we die, our eyes all look the same.

[ A small nod as he decides to be comforting in his own way, and feels far more comfortable doing it. ]

I feel a little funny telling you it, however. I have been a bit -- I normally don't tell people who I've seen or spoken to, but I felt you should know some of the quiet secrets people have. The ones that offer little hurt. There are many, but I feel like we're only finding the secrets about each other that'll bring about ruin. [ A moment of silence before he chuckles to himself. ]

Oh well. That is what life is.

Yeah. Yeah...that's a good thought. [He actually...smiles at that, slightly, raising his bottle to take another sip. When he dies, he will no longer have to worry about what's going on with his eyes.]

[Even so, he has to use them for what they are. And well, if some people like it, like Kei...]

Secrets, huh...? [He ponders over that for a moment, still not quite over the fact that Kei just blatantly said that he and Sakura are fond of him. Little secrets that offer little hurt.] I'd like more of those kinds of secrets. I mean, it's interesting, finding out the dark ones, but...

[A beat. He gives a shrug.]

I don't know. It make mes feel...a little happy. Hearing things like that.

Indeed. So we need not lament about what changes us. We are slowly being killed by something and so there is no reason to be alarmed by what is joining our decaying state. [ He doesn't sound depressed, and it is something that he said almost three days ago when he first decided to acquire a cursed doll. His smile immediately fades as he thinks of the days that followed. But his shoulders rise and fall in a leisurely shrug. There is no reason to blame a cursed doll for my own personality. ]

That's right. [ Kei gives a small nod, leaning more against the wall. ] Then I shall offer you another one. We both believe that you would make a good cat. [ His eyes shift to the side before he offers a small nod. Given that he's being given a nice shadow to rest under rather than being bombarded by the positive, warm feelings of the party; he sees no reason to not give back something. ]

I'm being overly flattering. Eventually, it will sound like it is all lies. [ And yet, he seems cheerful. ] But as for the birthday comments -- [ He smoothly transitions. ] -- I always find it interesting to celebrate one's birth. No one quite remembers it. Joyous as it is for parents at the time, is it actually joyous? The moment that we experience life and recognize it, I wonder if that should be the day we celebrate. The day of our first memory truly retained. Because everything else could well be lies we have been told of our past. [ Why are you like this? ]

Oh, for sure. You have a point...that's the way it is. What do they say? Death is...the great equalizer.

[Or something like that. He can't sound as nice and meaningful as Kei does. He just states it like it is. And maybe that's all you really need. Nice and simple.]

[The "offer" makes him let out a slight laugh, amused.]

I should have been born as a cat. [Just a cat, lounging in the sun, without worries, without care...not a monster. Never a monster. His expression sombers.] Guess we can't always get what we want.

[The turn to birthday commentary (really, Kei, REALLY) is something Howard goes along with - he expects this from Kei. He leans his head back, eyes moving to trace unseen shapes in the ceiling.]

It would be different for everyone, though. That would make it confusing. They choose the day you come from your mother's womb because that's...simpler. Besides, for some people, that "moment" isn't always a good one.

[A bitter laugh.]

For some, a moment where one learns how to experience life might be a moment they almost died, you know...

Everybody dies alone. [ It is only when the body drops control of the spirit does something come to collect. He pauses to look down at his own hand as he thinks of how he can reach into the physical to touch the soul. Yet somehow that feels a little wrong -- like he shouldn't do it. Even though, he is able to heal the ruined body; he has seen how the soul rejects anyone from touching it. From himself. From John. Why is this my magic? But it doesn't answer the ultimate question, does it? ]

No. [ A sigh. He would rather continue being wrapped up in his ennui; there is sharpness in his words, eyes and thought. Even if he mostly is too exhausted to do much about it now, he can still taste small poison here and there when he speaks. ] But we always receive what we need.

[ He lifts his bottle a little in agreement to what Howard is saying, leaning forward enough to very lightly tap the two bottles together. If they are going to agree, there may as well be a celebratory "cheers." ] Shouldn't that make their day mean that much more to them, then? Every day, you remember that you could have died today, but skill or luck ensured you did not. And from that, you learned more about the world than you did before.

The world becomes a different image to you from that day forward... it can be "good," or "bad." I would not say that there is any right way to view it. If it is "good," a person may feel as though they are indestructible and do more and more foolish deeds, after all. If it is "good," they may come to believe themselves blessed and wish to return the good that saved their lives in deed and action. If it is "bad," a person may come to be more terrified and slip away out of the world's grasp. If it is "bad," they may to challenge the world and its desire to kill them.

I certainly would not mind choosing my birthday to be the day I nearly died.

Not even if you die in someone's arms? You know, like the song... [His deep voice takes on a lilt - a slight effort at singing.] Oh, I just died in your arms tonight...must have been something you said...~

[His voice returns back to normal immediately.] Something like that. Is that "alone", I wonder...

[Another swig of alcohol. He always ends up drinking alcohol with Kei nowadays, he finds. There's some solace in it. Even with this dark talk, he finds his sense of peace. Kei's voice is even and easy to listen to. It's hard to even think about doing anything other than take in his words at the moment.]

Not everyone has almost died, though. There would be many without birthdays, in a case like that.

[Another shrug. His voice is quiet this time, his gaze distant.]

By your rules...my birthday would be a bad one. Not really one to celebrate.

[ Hm. Everyone is singing at me lately. An exaggeration. It has been, at most, three people and he acknowledges they are better singers than himself. Related, in part, to the fact that he doesn't sing with emotion. His eyes roll up in thought, but of course, the rain helped to give him reason to put emotion into the song -- so he will call that one a wash. ]

Yes, I would still consider it being alone. Eventually, you lose sensation of being held, after all. And holding a corpse is still holding a corpse.

[ Such a warm person. ]

Unfortunate. [ Kei muses over the lack of those that don't have memories of death. His head turns slightly at the comment of his own rules. ] Well. Yes. I don't consider it one to celebrate. Everyone is born as a blank slate, after all. I might as well be celebrating the birth of a stranger, if we must make a celebration of such moments.

[ Hmphs. He takes another drink, opens his eyes as he looks to the ceiling. A small swallow as he adds: ] I would rather celebrate your life, if I must celebrate anything. I think that is much more meaningful. People make it about the day that a person came into the world, and I agree that everyone deserves life. [ Catholic. ]

But it is what one does with their life that should be really celebrated. "It is wonderful you came into the world because it means I was able to meet you." Is a nice sentiment but hm, I don't think it is quite right.

Well, if you say so. [He disagrees somewhat with that notion - what does it matter if you lose sensation as long as you know someone is holding you - but he doesn't bring it up, only moving to take another drink of his beer.]

Celebrate your life? Well, that would be easy for people who have done something with their life. But there are many that haven't done a thing. They're just...filler. Like background characters.

[A sigh - he starts picking at the label on the bottle in his hands.]

Maybe "I was born to meet you"? Wasn't that from some movie or something...? [He doesn't know. He glances over at Kei, wonders if he, himself, was born to meet him. Born to be here at this moment, talking about this. Created for the sole purpose of indulging Kei in his darker thoughts. It's strange, to think about that, that one's whole life was an invention to support another's...] Eh. I don't know. The fact is, you'd have to create a whole thing of rules about how meaningful a person's life could be...and that sounds messy. What one person considers meaningful, another considers a waste of time...

Background characters to us, but there is no person that means nothing. [ Worthless people have meaning. But there is no need to get into that sort of talk. ]

That sounds needlessly romantic. [ Even romanticising hate for someone. Born to meet someone just to see what they wish to change about themselves. He tightens hold on the bottle, like he may strangle the neck, before loosening his grip. ] In any case, the way your life has meaning to me is significantly different than the way Sakura's life does. So there really are not any rules to speak of, Howard.

Indeed, if someone has meaning to you, they have meaning. Another person may find that worthless but that hardly changes your own thoughts. Right?

Maybe, but somehow, I think meaning only a little bit to the world, barely anything at all, is somehow worse than meaning nothing at all...

[But maybe he is conflating "worthless" with "meaningless". It's hard for him to try to piece them apart, though - can a person have little meaning, but much worth? He shakes his head.]

Right. I mean, you...mean a lot to me. And a few other people, too. Most of the time, I could hardly care less, but the people I do care about...I guess that's what matters. To me, to my own life...

[He smiles, slightly, a trace of fondness in his usually dour expression.]

Yeah. Maybe it's just as simple as that.

I suppose there is where we differ. I like humanity a lot that the numbers game is always in favor of someone. There is never anyone completely hated by the world. There is someone -- a low standard someone, perhaps -- that sees that person as meaning something to them. I think that speaks well for the society that we live in. [ Speaks well but not "good." ]

Yes, sometimes ... it is best to think in simpler terms. [ But what a surprise -- he means something to Howard? Well, that is how friendship is on Earth. And he thinks Howard means something to him; he recalls admitting it. What was it? Oh. The shape of humanity comes into focus around him.

Nothing exists within Kei; he can look into a person and pick out their weaknesses, and he can understand them mostly, but their humanity is not something he can readily see. Most, by instinct, keep him from seeing it in its complete shape. But Howard allows him to witness the unguarded state; it is nice.

And the rain cloud that follows him is always welcome. ]

What about a hermit, who lives on his own? His family is gone. He has no friends. It's the same as... "if a tree falls in the middle of the forest, does it make a sound"? That is...if there is someone truly alone in the world, will they be loved by someone...?

[He shrugs, finishing off the rest of the beer. In an odd way, he's feeling better. Parties like this make him nervous, and yet, to find someone like Kei in the middle of them is like finding an oasis in the middle of the desert.]

[It's really refreshing, in its own way. Like the comforting nature of darkness, reading to wrap him up in its smothering embrace...]

Sometimes, I... [He starts, stops, unsure what to say.] You know, I'm just...grateful, sometimes. That you're around.

[A shake of his head.]

I don't know. It just...matters a lot to me.

No one is ever truly alone in the world. That hermit that lives by himself would have to come into town for supplies. Even if he was relatively self-sufficient there would be something that he would need. [ His head tilts in thought. ] Someone will come to recognize him as he passed through. Someone would wonder if perhaps he will no longer come.

Even if they do not speak and only have a passing glance to a ghost living in the world, there is no one that can live outside of anyone else's life. When he dies, someone -- and it may take months, of course -- would recognize his presence is gone. It may not be the love that he sought in life, but it is the soft love of one human to another, not wanting them to be forgotten.

[ Kei ignores that he does not even have that much in himself. He does not even know how to feel that way. There may be those that he feels the presence of more than others, but he realizes that it would not hinder him if they were gone. His eyes close for a second -- he may not even have the faint, weak kindness for someone to not allow them to be forgotten. It's the cold sort of wake-up that he needs. ]

Hm? [ He turns, surprised to hear that. ]

I am grateful that you are around, too. [ Just as he feels like he may slip into something darker, he feels lightened by the black negativity that surrounds Howard. It's a different, comfortable sort of shadow to rest in. ] I would not know what to do with myself at these sort of parties if you weren't around, for certain.

[He listens to Kei, eyes following the movement of his mouth, before he suddenly lets out a short, sharp laugh.]

And here you said that we all die alone in this world. [He can barely hide the slight grin on his face.] That's very...sentimental of you, Kei.

[Obviously happy with himself for what he thinks is him catching Kei being hypocritical, he folds his arms, leaning completely back on the wall with a pleased sigh.]

Similar people attract each other. Read that in a book, somewhere, I think... [A beat. He frowns, a little self-conscious at his choice of words.] Anyways, uh, it's just...wallflowers have to stick together, right?

He is still dying alone. [ His hands open, and leaves out the part where he believes that humanity takes that soft kindness not from a place of "good." It's a place of "superiority." ] I wouldn't call it sentimental at all.

[ Moving along. ]

We could start our own garden. Though, I suppose it would be more like a forest with two trees. I suppose it is not much of a forest if there are only two trees. [ He chuckles to himself. ] What do you think of the party? Not feeling too uncomfortable?

But you just said, "no one is ever truly alone in this world", hm? What happens in death that suddenly negates that?

[He likes the mental image of a wallflower garden - he ponders over it for a moment, letting his own head rest on his shoulder.]

It could be a forest, depending on your definition of the word. And...I'm alright. It's more people than I'm used to. But...I'm here for Sakura. [A half-smile.] I want to see her happy.

[ Kei lifts his chin up and thinks of how he could retract what he said, but he lets out a small sigh. ]

I did say that, hm. [ His lips press together as he looks displeased. He didn't even realize his own hopefulness until it ended up being pointed out. ] What happens in death to negate one's connected state? Well, all those connections are all slowly severed. Even in someone's arms, they realize that no one will be going with them, that they slip away somewhere no one else can follow.

[ He lightly pats Howard's head when it comes to rest on his shoulder. ] You do? [ At least, he doesn't sound surprised. No, Howard thinks the best and wishes the best for those that he likes. People may misunderstand him, but when he cares, he cares honestly and sincerely. ] I believe she is very happy that you came. You stepped outside of your comfort zone in order to do something for someone you care about.

There are few who would not be happy about that, and so you made her day brighter.

Hm. That, I can see. The fact that you go somewhere...or you go nowhere. You're cut from this world. You're no longer on this place.

[Just...somewhere.]

[How very lonely, indeed.]

I'm glad she does. I mean, she does do a lot for me...did you know we met when she wanted to draw me? It seems like ages ago... [He's not letting his head go anywhere. Instead he just closes his eyes, letting Kei pat him.] Even you and I...it feels like we've known each other forever.

That's right.

[ And now he brings the mood back. ]

I didn't, but that must have surprised you. [ He chuckles and wonders if Howard assumed that Sakura was making fun of him. His gaze unfocuses for a second as he muses to himself about it -- Did Sakura ever finish the painting? Did she capture the amount of gloom and darkness that surrounds him? Or did she fill it with the soft light that he brings others, whether they are aware of it or not? ]

It does feel like we've known each other for a long time. [ He brings his beer bottle up to drink, finishing off the contents. Ai and Howard. Though... I have not been as odd to Howard as I have been to her. I wonder why the sudden oddness? I suppose it is because ... Ai needed incentive to involve herself in the world. Her disinterest in living is much different than Howard's negativity. The world will both accept and reject Howard. There is no need for me to encourage anything--

Kei almost jolts at the thought but Howard's head on his shoulder keeps him from doing so. He flinches a little as he realizes that his tired state makes for such thoughts to slide in faster. ]

You're one of the few people I can call my friend, Howard. There are those that I've known forever and cannot say that to, so I felt I should say that much. [ Why? He decides that's not a rabbit he wants to go chasing after. ]

It did, but...I guess, in a way, I was flattered? [A slight shrug.] Hm. Sometimes you know a person for a long time and yet, it's like you don't even know them at all. And yet, with you...

[He frowns to himself - does he really know Kei? Really? It's clear that Kei isn't a stranger. Kei means something to him, makes him feel comfortable in dark times, but does he know him?]

[Isn't that dangerous, to put so much trust in a man whose thoughts are something he has yet to fully understand? It's foolish, and yet...Kei wouldn't hurt him, right? He wouldn't. He really wouldn't...]

[He closes his eyes.]

I trust you. [Because that's what it comes down to. He may not know Kei really, but that feeling is, at the very least, real.] I do, I do...

[His breath slows - after a moment, it should be apparent that Howard has completely fallen asleep on Kei's shoulder.]

[ He closes his eyes as he sighs out a little exasperated. It seems like Howard had finally hit his limit in being in such a social setting; he wondered if the poor man would find a corner to sleep in order to recharge. After all, this is for Sakura's sake; Kei believes that Howard wouldn't find it easy to leave. ]

It doesn't make me happy that you trust me. [ Kei says after a time. ] I won't betray your words or your secrets. But there is something far more fragile in you that--

[ Opening his eyes, he tilts to rest his head against Howard's, adjusting how they are so that he, at least, be comfortable. But isn't he already, if he can fall asleep like this? ] -- I have no desire to do so. [ Kei holds himself together with a single desire. He intends to save himself and Kirei Kotomine; if the two of them are the same, he sets forth to do such the arduous task. ]

Howard, whatever monster you become, I will still accept you. But I cannot promise that my acceptance will not feel like a betrayal.

[He doesn't hear a word Kei says. The exhaustion of dealing with a large amount of people, as well as the comfortable haze he feels when he's around the other man, knocks him completely out. He sleeps like a log, not even stirring awake when Kei shifts under him.]

[It takes a while for him to blink himself out of his sudden nap attack, groaning as he tries to understand where he is - and instantly freezing in shock when he does.]

Oh. Sorry. Sorry, I...it happens sometimes, I didn't mean to...

[He moves his head off of Kei's shoulder, cheeks flushed, eyes turned away in sheer embarrassment.]

I'm really sorry.

[ Kei looks around for a second, careful not to move his head too much. He observes the party carefully and feels exhausted from all the excitement and joy. Allowing the bottle to drop out of his hand, he's glad that he had finished his beer. Regardless, it wouldn't do to cause a mess. In any case, he lifts his hand up to lightly touch the side of Howard's face. ]

I always felt a little tired around the happy, because it was like their emotions were always bursting while mine were calm and stable. Like being on two different frequencies. The tired that you still feel. It was once the same, wasn't it? The exhaustion I feel comes from another source now... no longer just slipping into apathy but... something I can't quite name. [ He lightly cups the side of his face. ] It scares me. Yet I will not give up on saving myself. But Howard...

[ And his friend stirs, his hand drops away. ]

Don't worry about it. I had a nice chat with a very understanding person. [ Kei offers a warm smile. ] So, there's nothing to worry about. I'm grateful that you fell asleep. Sometimes, there are only things you can tell someone when they're not able to hear it.

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