recolle | open || ain't no party like a birthday party

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open || ain't no party like a birthday party

WHO: Minako, Sakura, Ragna, and you!
WHERE: One of the arcade bars in the city.
WHEN: March 10th
WHAT: BIRTHDAY PARTY!
WARNINGS: None foreseen! Feel free to threadjack for Minako's Hot Potato Categories game.

[Welcome to the Emporium, an arcade bar that Minako and Sakura have decided to host their joint birthday party at! Come on in and have some fun playing games, eating junk food, and just hanging out with the birthday girls (and guy, if he decides to come).

There are, of course, the numerous arcade games that the place is known for, ranging from the old school 2v2 fighters to the shooting gallery kinds. But there are a smattering of other games as well, like DDR, darts, mini hoops, skeeball, and the pool table, too. There's also a wall of crane games in the back, with plenty of random and mostly cute prizes to win.

Make a stop by the purikura booth if you have time. Make some duck lips at the camera and then take the snaps home! (Or give them to the birthday girls for the memories.)

Oh, and be sure to exchange your money for tokens before you play all these games. The token machine seems kind of finicky, though. Maybe a strong (and hopefully discrete?) kick will help jumpstart it.

Walk to the dining area, and there'll be a feast waiting you! The arcade is providing a ton of pizza and wings, as well as alcohol, if you can show your ID. For dessert, there's the cake that Shuji made for the girls, as well as Minako's lemon tea cakes. Those are limited supply, though, so snag one before everyone eats it up.

Next to the dining area, there's a big sign that says "DUNK TANK OUTSIDE". Maybe take a look? Just be reaaaally sure you want to climb in before you do it, though. The towels provided by the arcade are pretty small.

And finally, if you need a break from the chaos, there's a couple of couches on the second floor. Take a load off and watch from above.]

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He is still dying alone. [ His hands open, and leaves out the part where he believes that humanity takes that soft kindness not from a place of "good." It's a place of "superiority." ] I wouldn't call it sentimental at all.

[ Moving along. ]

We could start our own garden. Though, I suppose it would be more like a forest with two trees. I suppose it is not much of a forest if there are only two trees. [ He chuckles to himself. ] What do you think of the party? Not feeling too uncomfortable?

But you just said, "no one is ever truly alone in this world", hm? What happens in death that suddenly negates that?

[He likes the mental image of a wallflower garden - he ponders over it for a moment, letting his own head rest on his shoulder.]

It could be a forest, depending on your definition of the word. And...I'm alright. It's more people than I'm used to. But...I'm here for Sakura. [A half-smile.] I want to see her happy.

[ Kei lifts his chin up and thinks of how he could retract what he said, but he lets out a small sigh. ]

I did say that, hm. [ His lips press together as he looks displeased. He didn't even realize his own hopefulness until it ended up being pointed out. ] What happens in death to negate one's connected state? Well, all those connections are all slowly severed. Even in someone's arms, they realize that no one will be going with them, that they slip away somewhere no one else can follow.

[ He lightly pats Howard's head when it comes to rest on his shoulder. ] You do? [ At least, he doesn't sound surprised. No, Howard thinks the best and wishes the best for those that he likes. People may misunderstand him, but when he cares, he cares honestly and sincerely. ] I believe she is very happy that you came. You stepped outside of your comfort zone in order to do something for someone you care about.

There are few who would not be happy about that, and so you made her day brighter.

Hm. That, I can see. The fact that you go somewhere...or you go nowhere. You're cut from this world. You're no longer on this place.

[Just...somewhere.]

[How very lonely, indeed.]

I'm glad she does. I mean, she does do a lot for me...did you know we met when she wanted to draw me? It seems like ages ago... [He's not letting his head go anywhere. Instead he just closes his eyes, letting Kei pat him.] Even you and I...it feels like we've known each other forever.

That's right.

[ And now he brings the mood back. ]

I didn't, but that must have surprised you. [ He chuckles and wonders if Howard assumed that Sakura was making fun of him. His gaze unfocuses for a second as he muses to himself about it -- Did Sakura ever finish the painting? Did she capture the amount of gloom and darkness that surrounds him? Or did she fill it with the soft light that he brings others, whether they are aware of it or not? ]

It does feel like we've known each other for a long time. [ He brings his beer bottle up to drink, finishing off the contents. Ai and Howard. Though... I have not been as odd to Howard as I have been to her. I wonder why the sudden oddness? I suppose it is because ... Ai needed incentive to involve herself in the world. Her disinterest in living is much different than Howard's negativity. The world will both accept and reject Howard. There is no need for me to encourage anything--

Kei almost jolts at the thought but Howard's head on his shoulder keeps him from doing so. He flinches a little as he realizes that his tired state makes for such thoughts to slide in faster. ]

You're one of the few people I can call my friend, Howard. There are those that I've known forever and cannot say that to, so I felt I should say that much. [ Why? He decides that's not a rabbit he wants to go chasing after. ]

It did, but...I guess, in a way, I was flattered? [A slight shrug.] Hm. Sometimes you know a person for a long time and yet, it's like you don't even know them at all. And yet, with you...

[He frowns to himself - does he really know Kei? Really? It's clear that Kei isn't a stranger. Kei means something to him, makes him feel comfortable in dark times, but does he know him?]

[Isn't that dangerous, to put so much trust in a man whose thoughts are something he has yet to fully understand? It's foolish, and yet...Kei wouldn't hurt him, right? He wouldn't. He really wouldn't...]

[He closes his eyes.]

I trust you. [Because that's what it comes down to. He may not know Kei really, but that feeling is, at the very least, real.] I do, I do...

[His breath slows - after a moment, it should be apparent that Howard has completely fallen asleep on Kei's shoulder.]

[ He closes his eyes as he sighs out a little exasperated. It seems like Howard had finally hit his limit in being in such a social setting; he wondered if the poor man would find a corner to sleep in order to recharge. After all, this is for Sakura's sake; Kei believes that Howard wouldn't find it easy to leave. ]

It doesn't make me happy that you trust me. [ Kei says after a time. ] I won't betray your words or your secrets. But there is something far more fragile in you that--

[ Opening his eyes, he tilts to rest his head against Howard's, adjusting how they are so that he, at least, be comfortable. But isn't he already, if he can fall asleep like this? ] -- I have no desire to do so. [ Kei holds himself together with a single desire. He intends to save himself and Kirei Kotomine; if the two of them are the same, he sets forth to do such the arduous task. ]

Howard, whatever monster you become, I will still accept you. But I cannot promise that my acceptance will not feel like a betrayal.

[He doesn't hear a word Kei says. The exhaustion of dealing with a large amount of people, as well as the comfortable haze he feels when he's around the other man, knocks him completely out. He sleeps like a log, not even stirring awake when Kei shifts under him.]

[It takes a while for him to blink himself out of his sudden nap attack, groaning as he tries to understand where he is - and instantly freezing in shock when he does.]

Oh. Sorry. Sorry, I...it happens sometimes, I didn't mean to...

[He moves his head off of Kei's shoulder, cheeks flushed, eyes turned away in sheer embarrassment.]

I'm really sorry.

[ Kei looks around for a second, careful not to move his head too much. He observes the party carefully and feels exhausted from all the excitement and joy. Allowing the bottle to drop out of his hand, he's glad that he had finished his beer. Regardless, it wouldn't do to cause a mess. In any case, he lifts his hand up to lightly touch the side of Howard's face. ]

I always felt a little tired around the happy, because it was like their emotions were always bursting while mine were calm and stable. Like being on two different frequencies. The tired that you still feel. It was once the same, wasn't it? The exhaustion I feel comes from another source now... no longer just slipping into apathy but... something I can't quite name. [ He lightly cups the side of his face. ] It scares me. Yet I will not give up on saving myself. But Howard...

[ And his friend stirs, his hand drops away. ]

Don't worry about it. I had a nice chat with a very understanding person. [ Kei offers a warm smile. ] So, there's nothing to worry about. I'm grateful that you fell asleep. Sometimes, there are only things you can tell someone when they're not able to hear it.

I was...asleep. I couldn't answer...

[He blinks, confused. Who would speak with a sleeping man? He stares at Kei, unsure what he means. A conversation? About what? What secrets did Kei confess, when he was deep in the realm of dreams?]

Was it anything important? [He doesn't know what to feel. Maybe he should've stayed awake and listened?] I mean, if you need me to lend you an ear, I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind at all.

[ His eyes roll up at the thought of it being something important. He frowns as he decides that it probably was important in some way. Kei isn't even certain how the sentence would end. But he does recognize touching Howard's face feels different than touching Oda's. Hm. ]

You already did. [ He seems pleased, chuckling a little. ] But there's nothing to worry about, Howard. I suppose all I was saying was embarrassing things... like how much I value you as a friend, and how in the past we have always felt the same sort of feelings. Such as in parties like this. [ His shoulders lift and lower in a small shrug. ]

Saying them aloud, they come off needlessly sentimental.

...

[Again, Kei swerves off somewhere with his words, becoming more unreadable. Howard just stares.]

[After a moment, he just shakes his head, raising a hand to wipe down his face to fully wake himself up, obscuring his expression.]

Well...sentimental looks good on you. [He lowers his hand - his mouth is twisted in the same unreadable line it almost always is in. There's a pleased sort of glint in his eyes, though.] There's nothing wrong with that.

It only looks good on me because you benefit most from it.

[ There is little venom in the words. If anything, it ends on something like a half-laugh. But does Howard? While what I say is true... the source of all those feelings is hardly kind. That sobers him up enough to offer a sarcastic kind of smile. ]

Anyway, it just simply sounds nice. [ Kei blinks at the manner in which he is looked at with a slight tilt of his head. Hm? At least Howard no longer looks too troubled. I have been enough of a menace tonight. ] Also, I'm certain that you've heard much nicer strings of words.

Me? [It's like saying "I look good because it makes you feel good". It surprises Howard, who lets out a noise that sounds like the mixture of a choked laugh and a huff.]

Ah, well, not really. [He slides his hand to push back the strands of hair that have fallen into his face. His gaze has not moved off of Kei.] Besides, you have a way with words. You know I'm a writer, I just can't help but...admire your skill.

Is that so?

[ His skill with words admired? Well, that isn't the first time that he's heard such praise -- though, he believes that Rin had meant it mostly in jest. ]

Even so... when you write, you're able to create something that comes from a real and true place. Somewhere that exists within your soul, Howard. I have nothing like that, and so as kind as it is to admire my words... I much more admire your soul. [ It would be nice if I could be envious of it, but I lack that ability. I am who I am, but I can still recognize someone better than myself. ]

My soul? It's hardly anything to write home about.

[Is the haze in his head from the beer he drank before? He shakes his head, even frowning - no, no, Kei is the better one out of the two of them? He just writes ghost stories. But Kei...]

But you can...really understand people in ways I can't. You can connect with their worlds and bring them peace, and I just... ["I just unsettle them". He swallows.] I could listen to you forever, if I had the choice.

It's a lot to write home about. I'm certain Sakura would even call it "wonderful."

[ Indeed, he could see her beaming up at Howard and telling him how much his soul shined. Kei would probably add that it shined with black, foreboding light upon everyone -- and it'd be seen as the kind words that they were. ]

It is more like peeling away people, if I am honest. I can understand a lot about them, but I cannot connect to them as you can. [ A laugh. ] But listen to me forever? Is that a marriage proposal? I'm afraid that I'm already married to Cthulhu.

Ah, well, Sakura likes that sort of thing...

[Dear Sakura. A girl who knows him in and out. Sakura knows he used to be a monster. So does Kei, actually. And yet they both have stayed around him, unwilling to leave.]

[That's...a nice, nice, wonderful feeling. One that he doesn't have time to dwell on, because-]

Married? [He doesn't know why he suddenly feels scared, anxious even, like he wants to jump up and question just WHO Kei is married to anyways, and then...the last part finally gets through. It's...a joke?]

[Either way, he's still flustered by that tease that he wants to marry Kei. Haha, like that would happen, ha, no, just a joke...]

No, no, goodness, I-I didn't say that as a...um. [His ears feel like they're burning.] Why are you married to...Cthulhu, again??

She likes you, Howard, so she'll always find your soul pleasing.

[ Kei feels his jaw twitch about speaking completely for someone not present. It gives him an uncomfortable feeling, even if it is a positive remark. His head tilts like he may twist to crack it, but pauses over hearing the surprised question over his joke. ]

I only meant to tease you a little. [ Though, he is a little surprised by the response, himself. His eyebrows lift at following question. ] I am going to double-down on my joke to ease your discomfort. [ Kei decides to announce casually, because it should make Howard feel better to hear him go off about an imagined relationship than fret about actual marriage. ]

Cthulhu accepts me as I am regardless of the fact I have no desire to join his cult. I suppose that is well and good. You cannot truly be with a person if you worship that individual. There will always be discord in the relationship thanks to the glorification of the entity.

[ He holds his hands out. ] But that hardly gets down to the why. If I put it into simpler words, it would be [ His chin lifts as he decides his initial thought would be too dark for his joke. ] not love but mild interest the both of us have in the idea of marriage. He's an ageless being but never experienced marriage, and I am myself. Personally, I feel Cthulhu is getting the short-end of the deal, but I'll be just a blip in his life, and he'll come to forget me after eons have passed, so it works out to ease any guilt.

I don't know about that...

[He still remembers how he had just up and abandoned her when Mateus had approached them several months ago. He had apologized, and she treated him as usual, but...was that enough.]

Cthulhu. Okay. Alright. [He lets out a huff, focusing on the joke rather than his heart beating a thousand times a minute. It seems like a very random choice, Cthulhu...Howard briefly wonders if this is some reference to an inside joke or something he can't really parse.]

So you just got married for the sake of...marriage. [A tch. He folds his arms, considering Kei's points. ] Well, you can't blame a being like that for being interested. I don't think he'd get the short end of the stick at all. I mean...just that human experience of having a bond with someone else is something he's never had. He sleeps all the time in the ocean, though, are you sure you'd be interested in someone who just does that all the time...?

Edited 2018-03-21 14:21 (UTC)

I suppose that is true. If all he has had is cultists or those fearing him, it would stand to reason that he does not know what it is to be connected to another person. [ His head gives a small tilt as he admits that he also isn't quite sure what that feels like, either. The bonds that he has with others always feel a little artificial. For them, they feel real, but he should not be getting so philosophical in thinking on an imaginary marriage. ]

I'm certain I could be interested in someone like that, Howard. They don't have to be awake all the time just to appease me. They don't need to do anything for me, if they don't want. If he is happiest sleeping, I see no reason to upset that wish. I would rather the person live as they want to live instead of live as they think they should live for me. [ He chuckles. ] Honestly, such selfishness is refreshing to me.

That makes it sound like he's lonely.

[Can an eldritch monstrosity even feel loneliness? Howard purses his lips, thinking over it. A terrifying beast like that, who needed to be around others...]

[The thought makes him uncomfortable, in some strange way.]

Selfishness is refreshing to you? [So he'll accept my- - he stops his own thought, shaking his head. No, that's foolish. They're talking about Cthulhu, who lays dead and dreaming.] You're probably the first person I've ever heard say that that's something they want in a relationship, you know. A relationship usually implies a level of selflessness...

Maybe? But that would only be true if he valued human connections. If he does, he will be lonely. If he doesn't, it is only something to try for the sake of trying without the benefit of easing anything.

[ Furthermore, Kei has no desires for any of the powers the unspeakable horror commands. And the monstrosity would want nothing he has. There is no negative or positive. In short, it becomes such a non-action that there's no reason not to. Am I have fun with this imaginings? Well, it certainly is cheerier talk to have at a party. ]

It is. [ He shakes his head, lifting his hand to stroke his chin in thought. ] I've known too many people that would give up their own happiness and comfort for others. While the people that benefit may understand and appreciate the sacrifice, I cannot.

[ He cannot reciprocate the feelings -- and it would only make him more aware of his own emptiness. True, he accepts his empty state as it is; he believes those that would sacrifice for him deserve better. His morals tell him so. His sense of duty tells him so, especially if that person is in a relationship with him. And if he cannot reciprocate, the action becomes pointless. But so long as I leave all that out those reasons, the topic is still a fantastical one to have with a friend. ]

I could never call such a sacrifice "good" if it is for me. [ With some added cheer: ] And so, I'll take my eternally sleepy and sleeping horror over any normal human. I suppose that is why we are happily married, though.

I guess we'll never know what something like Cthulhu wants.

[Because Cthulhu doesn't exist.]

[Hahaha.]

So sacrifice isn't worth it, if it's for you? But if someone sacrifices themselves for you, wouldn't you consider that valuable? I mean, to know that someone out there loves you so much, would forgo even their own life to make you happy...

[If someone doesn't want to do anything for you at all, wouldn't that be heart-breaking...?]

Anyways, I'm sad you didn't invite me to the wedding. It must have been something else. [There's a lilt to his tone, amused, trying to imagine Kei standing next to Cthulhu in a wedding dress or wedding suit.] Congrats to him for getting a catch like you.

[ He flinches. It isn't Howard's fault. Kei almost wishes he had the bottle to have something to hold onto instead of balling his hands into fists. It's a second but he remembers that young woman dying. His eyes drop as he unclenches his fists, looking at his palms and relieved to not see blood. And yet... I just wanted to kill her. That is the only sorrow that I felt. ]

I would consider it meaningful... I wouldn't consider it valuable. [ He swallows, realizing that Howard doesn't know what he said. ]

I'm sorry for not inviting you. But we decided to elope saves on having cultists try to kill me, at least. [ He ignores how sweat runs down his neck, anxiously, as he recalls that woman. Instead, he indulges in the joke. Kei lifts his hands up, like he is being held at gunpoint. ] And I told you, I'm the one who caught him.

open || ain't no party like a birthday party

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