roronoa "sword swallowing fuck" zoro (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stopbleeding) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
recolle2017-12-14 09:14 pm
stopbleeding) wrote in recolle2017-12-14 09:14 pm
Entry tags:
[muffled one piece rap]
WHO: zoro and yOU
WHERE: [spongebob voice] ALLL AROUUUUUND TOWWWN
WHEN: december
WHAT: it's a catchall bc lbr i missed the event log
WARNINGS: idfk it's zoro so it's gonna be real fucking stupid
OTA: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:17 AM
[while the amount of people who are visiting the hospital at 3:17 am is a select few, if any at all, should your character be there and walking down a certain hall they will hear quite a commotion. What sounds like a rhino has awakened in one of the private rooms, crashing about and--oh. no. not a rhino.]
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
[just zoro. a fact made clear as he kicks out the door to his room, outraged, and wearing only a hospital gown. and antlers. and a reindeer nose. with a tinsel boa around his neck. and arms. and... yeah. just coated in tinsel. he's shouting back at someone in the room.]
SHUT UP! [and now, directing his anger at a gaggle of nurses who are losing their shit and failing to hide it, despite their best efforts.] YOU TOO! WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DRESS ME UP LIKE A DAMN TREE?!
[and, if you're staring at him:] WHAT?! GOT A PROBLEM?!
[oh. also his hair is green.]
CLOSED TO BAREN: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:05 AM
[rewind. zoro doesn't expect to wake up in a room. he expects a plaza, kyouko's face hovering above him. not a christmas ornament dangling from medical equipment as monitors murmur around him.]
What the...? [he turns his head. something scratches his throat. he ignores it once he catches sight of baren.] What are you doing here?
[from his surroundings he definitely made it to the hospital. makes sense. he remembers a significant portion of the... whatever that was. it was painful–the worst he's ever felt–but it had only lasted a couple hours, hadn't it? no reason for baren to come down. not yet.
he sits up.
–and immediately gets strangled by tinsel.
hope baren enjoys the noise of choked, angry squawks for his wake-up alarm.]
OTA: MISTLETOE BATS, DECEMBER 16TH - END OF MONTH
[either zoro is extremely stubborn or extremely oblivious because oftentimes he can be spotted walking down the street, a flock of mistletoe bats fluttering behind him. mariah carey blasts in a disharmonious choir around him like a hellish disney princess. he doesn't seem to mind. the most he really does is stop in the middle of the street and shout at them:]
AC/DC! [they had a christmas song too.]
OTA: SNOWPECS... CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT
[so how about those flurries, huh? they come quick and they hit hard, leaving a thick coating of snow in their wake. so thick that a good amount of things are covered. cars, plants, sidewalks, a mysterious lump lying down on a bench.
–wait, what?
don't worry, it gets weirder. the closer one gets to said weird lump, the more one sees that the only thing to be seen are...
chiseled. pecs. and a tuft of green hair further up. yes, even in winter zoro does not wear a shirt under coats. which means he is possibly going to die from the cold. that might explain why he's not moving? maybe help.]
OTA: SNOWPECS, CHIPPENDALES ALT
[basically the last prompt except you find him frozen in a park or something logical for fitness and instead of having a coat he just. has pants. not even shoes or socks. just. pants. and swords. in winter.
fucking weirdo]
WHERE: [spongebob voice] ALLL AROUUUUUND TOWWWN
WHEN: december
WHAT: it's a catchall bc lbr i missed the event log
WARNINGS: idfk it's zoro so it's gonna be real fucking stupid
OTA: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:17 AM
[while the amount of people who are visiting the hospital at 3:17 am is a select few, if any at all, should your character be there and walking down a certain hall they will hear quite a commotion. What sounds like a rhino has awakened in one of the private rooms, crashing about and--oh. no. not a rhino.]
I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!
[just zoro. a fact made clear as he kicks out the door to his room, outraged, and wearing only a hospital gown. and antlers. and a reindeer nose. with a tinsel boa around his neck. and arms. and... yeah. just coated in tinsel. he's shouting back at someone in the room.]
SHUT UP! [and now, directing his anger at a gaggle of nurses who are losing their shit and failing to hide it, despite their best efforts.] YOU TOO! WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DRESS ME UP LIKE A DAMN TREE?!
[and, if you're staring at him:] WHAT?! GOT A PROBLEM?!
[oh. also his hair is green.]
CLOSED TO BAREN: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:05 AM
[rewind. zoro doesn't expect to wake up in a room. he expects a plaza, kyouko's face hovering above him. not a christmas ornament dangling from medical equipment as monitors murmur around him.]
What the...? [he turns his head. something scratches his throat. he ignores it once he catches sight of baren.] What are you doing here?
[from his surroundings he definitely made it to the hospital. makes sense. he remembers a significant portion of the... whatever that was. it was painful–the worst he's ever felt–but it had only lasted a couple hours, hadn't it? no reason for baren to come down. not yet.
he sits up.
–and immediately gets strangled by tinsel.
hope baren enjoys the noise of choked, angry squawks for his wake-up alarm.]
OTA: MISTLETOE BATS, DECEMBER 16TH - END OF MONTH
[either zoro is extremely stubborn or extremely oblivious because oftentimes he can be spotted walking down the street, a flock of mistletoe bats fluttering behind him. mariah carey blasts in a disharmonious choir around him like a hellish disney princess. he doesn't seem to mind. the most he really does is stop in the middle of the street and shout at them:]
AC/DC! [they had a christmas song too.]
OTA: SNOWPECS... CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT
[so how about those flurries, huh? they come quick and they hit hard, leaving a thick coating of snow in their wake. so thick that a good amount of things are covered. cars, plants, sidewalks, a mysterious lump lying down on a bench.
–wait, what?
don't worry, it gets weirder. the closer one gets to said weird lump, the more one sees that the only thing to be seen are...
chiseled. pecs. and a tuft of green hair further up. yes, even in winter zoro does not wear a shirt under coats. which means he is possibly going to die from the cold. that might explain why he's not moving? maybe help.]
OTA: SNOWPECS, CHIPPENDALES ALT
[basically the last prompt except you find him frozen in a park or something logical for fitness and instead of having a coat he just. has pants. not even shoes or socks. just. pants. and swords. in winter.
fucking weirdo]
no subject
Just admit that you're wrong and that's a poor excuse.
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Just try and convince me, punk.
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zoro grunts.]
What the hell happened?
no subject
[The bats continue screaming.]
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[DON'T MAKE ZORO HELP YOU DO IT BECAUSE HE WILL]
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Stop moving, you're making it worse!
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[HE'S JUST GONNA KEEP SQUIRMING. GET OFF HIM MOHAMMED]
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Just--don't move! I'll fix it! [At this rate he'll never finish eating his candy cane. He bends his arms towards his head to pull the cane closer to his mouth, moving Zoro's arm with it.]
no subject
DON'T MAKE ME FEED YOU! WHAT THE HELL?!
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[With the combination of their yelling and the dissonant songs, people are staring.
Someone may be reaching for their phone to snap a picture.]
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MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!
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We need to get out of here. Now.
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[He moves his left leg out, away from the crowd of people, and attempts to slide his way over. He freezes when he feels he's about to tilt over and knock his head against Zoro's, but he's saved when their stuck arms stop him.
Mohammed looks over at the onlookers.] Don't worry! We'll handle this!
[By going into a small side street? Yeah that's not suspicious.]
no subject
[zoro has a different method of handling the crowd. it works. mostly. sort of. there's two more camera flashes before they bumble into the side street.]
There. Happy? Now what?
no subject
They're going to find us anyway with all this noise. [He glances at the nearest mistlebat, then at Zoro.
...Ok so the clears solution is to stick the candy cane in his mouth and suck on it.]