[muffled one piece rap]

[stopbleeding]

WHO: zoro and yOU
WHERE: [spongebob voice] ALLL AROUUUUUND TOWWWN
WHEN: december
WHAT: it's a catchall bc lbr i missed the event log
WARNINGS: idfk it's zoro so it's gonna be real fucking stupid


OTA: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:17 AM

[while the amount of people who are visiting the hospital at 3:17 am is a select few, if any at all, should your character be there and walking down a certain hall they will hear quite a commotion. What sounds like a rhino has awakened in one of the private rooms, crashing about and--oh. no. not a rhino.]

I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

[just zoro. a fact made clear as he kicks out the door to his room, outraged, and wearing only a hospital gown. and antlers. and a reindeer nose. with a tinsel boa around his neck. and arms. and... yeah. just coated in tinsel. he's shouting back at someone in the room.]

SHUT UP! [and now, directing his anger at a gaggle of nurses who are losing their shit and failing to hide it, despite their best efforts.] YOU TOO! WHICH OF YOU ASSHOLES LET HIM DRESS ME UP LIKE A DAMN TREE?!

[and, if you're staring at him:] WHAT?! GOT A PROBLEM?!

[oh. also his hair is green.]

CLOSED TO BAREN: DECEMBER 15TH, 3:05 AM

[rewind. zoro doesn't expect to wake up in a room. he expects a plaza, kyouko's face hovering above him. not a christmas ornament dangling from medical equipment as monitors murmur around him.]

What the...? [he turns his head. something scratches his throat. he ignores it once he catches sight of baren.] What are you doing here?

[from his surroundings he definitely made it to the hospital. makes sense. he remembers a significant portion of the... whatever that was. it was painful–the worst he's ever felt–but it had only lasted a couple hours, hadn't it? no reason for baren to come down. not yet.

he sits up.

–and immediately gets strangled by tinsel.

hope baren enjoys the noise of choked, angry squawks for his wake-up alarm.]

OTA: MISTLETOE BATS, DECEMBER 16TH - END OF MONTH

[either zoro is extremely stubborn or extremely oblivious because oftentimes he can be spotted walking down the street, a flock of mistletoe bats fluttering behind him. mariah carey blasts in a disharmonious choir around him like a hellish disney princess. he doesn't seem to mind. the most he really does is stop in the middle of the street and shout at them:]

AC/DC! [they had a christmas song too.]

OTA: SNOWPECS... CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE THAT

[so how about those flurries, huh? they come quick and they hit hard, leaving a thick coating of snow in their wake. so thick that a good amount of things are covered. cars, plants, sidewalks, a mysterious lump lying down on a bench.

–wait, what?

don't worry, it gets weirder. the closer one gets to said weird lump, the more one sees that the only thing to be seen are...

chiseled. pecs. and a tuft of green hair further up. yes, even in winter zoro does not wear a shirt under coats. which means he is possibly going to die from the cold. that might explain why he's not moving? maybe help.]

OTA: SNOWPECS, CHIPPENDALES ALT

[basically the last prompt except you find him frozen in a park or something logical for fitness and instead of having a coat he just. has pants. not even shoes or socks. just. pants. and swords. in winter.

fucking weirdo]

Comments

Mistletoe bats

[glaciers]

[Shouto's out getting presents because he finally has a solid idea for what his friends might want.

And then he catches somebody familiar screaming at bats.]

... Do you think that's going to make them leave?

[stopbleeding]

[kid cop gets a weird look.]

Who said I'm trying to get them to leave?

[stupid...]

[glaciers]

You're yelling at them.

... What's AC/DC?

[This poor deprived child.]

[crudest]

[fuck it we're saying that this is when chuuya is still at the inkwell or something because baren is - a light sleeper? the murmurs manage to get him to open his eyes, the sound of choking on tinsel is what really wakes him up as he jolts and turns to zoro and

immediately starts laughing

he pulls out his phone from his pocket and takes pictures of his hard work]

Merry Christmas, fucko!!

[IT'S TEN DAYS TOO EARLY]

[stopbleeding]

[zoro is getting slightly pale in the face, flailing wildly. his eyes may be bulging a bit?? might be an optical illusion. either way he's making weird choking noises that roughly translate to:

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?!?!?!]

[crudest]

[it's fine he's immortal.

but regardless baren's laughing once he's done taking enough pictures, wandering over to the side of the bed where he's going to take a seat because why wouldn't he. and then just working on untangling zoro from his mess, but not taking off his... reindeer antlers or rudolph nose.... zorudolph is awake.]

I had to kill time while you were out.

You're a really ugly sleeper by the way.

[but well. he seems - relaxed? his hair's a mess and he's a bit more unkempt than usual just given how long he's been at the hospital and only leaving for half an hour max each time to run and get a change of clothes or shower but. he's calmer now. happier.

zoro's awake.]

BATS

[prometheanflame]

That's the only song they know. Trust me.

[Mohammed had been walking in the opposite direction, but he had to stop and give sound advice to Zoro. In his hand, he carries a candy cane that he is slowly working on.]

[stopbleeding]

Yeah? How many bands you ask them?

[maybe they just haven't stumbled across the right one. also he's kind of judging mohammed's candy cane addiction but whatever. some people like nasty sweets.]

[prometheanflame]

They just sing it until their victim kisses someone. [Eyeing the out-of-rhythm chorus of Mariah carolers.] ...It never happened to me, but I've seen how it goes.

snowpecs

[thesettingsun]

[There are very few reactions that are appropriate to seeing somebody covered in snow. Maybe there would be more if he recognized the now-green hair right away, or if he knew that Zoro had just come out of a coma, but he doesn't and he didn't.

All he knows is that some idiot isn't wearing a shirt in fucking December.

Shuji doesn't have anything handy, so he just shoves snow off the person-shaped lump with his (thankfully gloved) hands.]

Why the hell aren't you wearing a shirt??

[stopbleeding]

[ok but zoro was asleep and he wakes up only because he feels hands on his body, gloved or not. the fact that they're on his chest may freak him out.

well, not may. definitely freaks him out. he nearly rolls of the bench in surprise.]

W-W-Why the hell are you touching me?!

[is that tremble in his voice a shiver or because he's flustered? the world will never know.]

Maximum Snowpecs I THINK

[matchbreaker]

[ . . . But is he dead?

Okay no, she isn't just sort of shocked and non-plussed she is a medical ... not professional but she was at one time and she does have super strength, so on seeing someone like this he first instinct is to go over to this frozen person and check him for frostbite because what the hell is this. ]

i don't know if that means he's mostly naked so i'll go with yes

[stopbleeding]

[yeah. no frostbite. just kind of. muffling shouting?? kind of sounds like shouts for help. looks like there may be icicles covering his mouth.]

thank you for also making me write the word snowpecs

[tire]

[ training doesn't stop, even in the winter! that's something zoro and sawamura eijun would certainly agree on, which is why he's out for a run even in the snowy, icy cold. it's only going to be a quick one, just a mile before he dives back into his bed back at the apartment, but sawamura excels none the less, trotting down a path in the park with his tire dragging behind him.

when he spots the lump, though, eijun skids to a stop, then hops a couple steps backwards, taking out his ear buds. he thought it might be someone's snowman, but, when he gets an actual look, he yelps-- ]

It's a person?! [ GENUINELY SHOCKED. ] Hey--hey, are you dead!? You're not a dead body, right?! Hellooooo!!

extra not welcome bc i feel like i tainted eijun

[stopbleeding]

[zoro wasn't a dead body but he may be now that eijun's momentum from starting and stopping so inconsistently has now sent the tire smashing into zoro's mansicle form.

he falls.

the sound of ice shattering fills the air.

silence.

and then a groaning, numbed:] Goddammit!

dec 15th

[doublesmall]

[we'll just say that chuuya was already on his way here or something before baren texted, it's late and he's off work etc etc

so he's already heading that direction when there's a commotion in the hallway, and his steps speed up automatically until he's faced with--]

Oh, good, you're awake.

[good morning christmas zoro...]

Look, he was just gonna redo it even if I took the decorations off, so...

[also he may have brought some of the decorations here.]

[stopbleeding]

[there's a lot of things that go through his mind when he sees chuuya. he goes with the first that comes to mind.

face falling, he grips chuuya by the collar of his shirt and yanks him towards the closest bathroom.]

You and I need to talk.

Mistletoe bats!

[flowrite]

[Gosh, it seems like forever since Fai's seen Zoro. He's bundled up against the cold in a long coat and a scarf, bopping from shop to shop looking at Christmas things, and honestly he almost doesn't even recognize his old teammate due to the green hair. It's only when Zoro stops to shout at the things that the voice clues him in, and he pauses nearby, trying to bite back a grin.]

Even Springsteen would be better, right?

[stopbleeding]

[let zoro think about that a moment.]

Dunno. These things can't do Mariah's voice. Might be able to do Springsteen's. [is he insulting bruce springsteen? oh well. doesn't matter because he's visibly relaxing just a tad upon seeing fai.]

Long time no see. Things doing better? [and if fai thought he could escape a manly pat on the back, he is wrong.]

BATS

[doitrockapella]

[Here is a question for the ages: literally how many red coats does Carmen Sandiego actually own. Answer? NEVER ENOUGH, apparently.

It's impossible not to notice Zoro when he's wandering around occasionally shouting at bats with "All I Want For Christmas" blaring like an anthem everywhere he goes, but it takes her a minute to realize that it really is Zoro, because the last she'd heard he was in the hospital and now he is...decidedly not.

That's her cue to make a beeline for him, probably. Here's hoping an unfortunately-placed patch of ice doesn't abruptly appear and send her bodily crashing into him.]

[stopbleeding]

[surprise! one does pop up! but it's alright because a flying red coat isn't too hard to spot, even with one eye. zoro catches her by the shoulders, grinning.]

Real lady of grace, huh? Careful, boss. I'll start thinking you're a damsel.

[haha. it's a joke. as if he'd ever have to rescue her from anything. still, the run-in brings up a good... point...] ... Did I ever call you?

:)

[concasse]

[...

and then Sanji took the cigarette out of his mouth, and poked the business end against one of Zoro's pecs]

[stopbleeding]

[ENJOY BEING KICKED UNDER THE CHIN BY TWO ICICLE FEET DICKWEED]

snowpecs chippendales edition..........zoro why

[dryeye]

[Look, there's a path cutting through the middle of the park that can save on time when you're walking from one side of Tribunal Terrace to the other, and Aizawa likes to take it sometimes when he's in more of a hurry. Seeing as it's evening and it's started snowing, now had seemed like as good a time as ever to make use of this shortcut again. It's usually a painless journey. There usually aren't any problems. Nothing weird's ever happened before.

But no, of course that can't be the case right now.

It's the tuft of green in the middle of all the endless white that catches his attention off the side of the path first, but the distinctly person-shaped mound attached to the green tuft makes for moderately more concern. Extremely weary of any and all bouts of strangeness at this point in the month, Aizawa very nearly opts to just keep walking and pretend he hadn't seen anything after all, but against his baser wishes he shifts direction to the mound anyhow. Knowing his luck, it's probably going to be something stupid like--like a dead body or--

--Or Zoro, it could be Zoro. It is Zoro. This much becomes obvious as the distance closes, and the general shape of Zoro in all his half-naked sword-wearing glory becomes visible. Aizawa spends a good handful of seconds just standing and staring at him in disbelief.]

What? [Not that he's actually expecting a response, but this kind of feels like it warrants something being said.] Are you serious--you're out of the hospital now? Did you just get out of the hospital?

[What!! Aizawa doesn't even know why he's so offended at all of this, exactly, but he finds that he is, and just kind of embraces it. ......The fact remains, though. If Zoro really is comatose again or just--sleeping (but who the hell would try sleeping in this weather??), then--]

I can't believe you. [Very irritably, as Aizawa leans down and kind of--attempts to tug him upright off this park bench. With his weak noodle teacher arms, admittedly, which means that this isn't going to be terribly successful probably, but it's the effort that counts and Aizawa's frankly too annoyed to care about how ridiculous it looks right now. Not like there's anybody else around! Because most perfectly reasonable people wouldn't be out here trying to freeze themselves to death--!!]

[stopbleeding]

[there's cracking as the icy bench reluctantly lets go of the zorosicle. it's either that horrible sound or the motion of aizawa's struggle itself that makes zoro slowly crack open his eye. or. try to.

his eyelid is frozen.]

... God?