[OPEN + CLOSED] Ska vi lägga pussel, eller ska vi spela schack...

[spes_phthisica]

WHO: Soujirou & You & also some people
WHERE: All over the place
WHEN: Varying dates during July
WHAT: Belated Bingo things, general catchall 
WARNINGS: TERRIBLE ROMANCE NOVEL QUOTES.


[As soon as he'd received the mysterious bingo thing, Soujirou had immediately sat down with it like any grownass adult would and tried to work out the best way to win. Some things were fairly quickly nixed, mainly things concerning unnecessary sharing of feelings. Unless he can find a way to work around them, he's not interested. But happily, that leaves plenty of options that are potentially dangerous or just plain dumb, and that suits Soujirou far better.]



i. Combo moves work poorly in real life (Open)


[You'd think the logical thing to do would be to immediately clear the middle square, but no. Because one of the challenges Soujirou had been presented with had seemed so much more tempting. "Play a prank on an authority figure". Natrually.

So here's Soujirou, with a big stack of paper under one arm, every page of which appears to be a copy out of a paperback novel spread. A closer look would show that the book in question is titled, The Outlaw Viking. He's on his way back to set his plan in motion, when he suddenly notices that the fence of the park he's crossing to is... waist high. Didn't the bingo card say...?

It's an absolutely terrible idea. If he really must do this at all, he really ought to set down all those papers at first. But no, he's a fool, and he decides that this is the moment to run up and gracefully fling himself over the fence in a truly dramatic fashion and-

-aaaand get his bag stuck on said fence, and go over in an equally dramatic but not quite so graceful fashion. The papers go flying all over the sidewalk and all around everyone trying to walk peacefully along it. Soujirou manages to roll with the fall, but he's ruined a pair of nice leggings and scraped up both knees, and he looks rather sheepish where he sits.]

...That didn't go quite as I planned it.


ii. Smoldering eyes and heaving bosoms (Closed to Fai)


[It is later that day; Soujirou has two big bandaids covering both knees, his fingers are lightly stained with highlighter, and HIS BRILLIANT PLAN IS COMPLETE.

Which is to say that he's been sneaking around all over the offices where Fai and his colleagues - and currently Soujirou - work, armed with those nice copies he's made of Fai's romance novel and some tape. They're just about everywhere now. Inside the cupboards in the small office kitchen, hanging in front of computer monitors, over or even inside a couple of shared trashcans. Several of them are crowded on the communal notice board, and one is even arranged so that it will dangle in front of you when you open the copier.

Of course, Soujirou would never hang outright porn all over the place. They do get minors in there, after all, and Fai could get in real trouble like that. No, he's carefully chosen pages which include some particularil ridiculous and over-the-top writing, and perhaps one or two which still make it clear what general genre the novel belongs to, without ever getting inappropriate.

He has even been kind enough to highlight some of his favorite parts. (Such as: "unexplainable pride coursed through her when she watched the corded muscles of his forearms flex", "How would she ever be able to penetrate the utter emptiness at the bottom of his desolate eyes?" and "The gods surely showed their displeasure by dumping this feminine blight on me this day".) Just to be helpful.

And then he decides to wait for Fai to decide with a cup of tea in the kitchen. Giggling more or less constantly, like the little shit he is.]


iii. Piracy is a great career move (Open)


[A couple of days later, Soujirou has hopefully learned from his previous mistakes. That is to say, he has chosen to deal with that middle square and thereby to do something less hazardous to himself and those around him.

The great thing about working at a daycare? You can absolutely find plastic swords whenever you need them. It comes with the minor drawback of being sized for a four-year-old, but who needs realism when you have imagination, determination, and a complete lack of any kind of knowledge about pirates?

Seriously, someone call this landlubber out. He may suddenly have memories of being a pirate, but he has NO IDEA what he's doing. At all.]

Hands on me yardladder! [Yep, that is something he just said. While pointing a plastic sword at you, whoever you are. That's not even proper pirate speech, he's just making shit up. He's also tied a paisley scarf around his head.]


iv. Can't buy Jim love (Closed to Juzo)


[The upseide is that he loves buying gifts. The downside, or at least the confusing side, is that he doesn't really know either of the people he's buying for - or even if he likes them very much, OR if they're actually getting married for real.

Oh well. It's not really his problem, right?

What is his problem is that half the registry seems to be gag gifts - maybe? - and the other half is still tricky to figure out for strangers. Which is why he is completely unabashed about turning around and practically draping a shower curtain over the closest available victim.]

Here, hold this!

[Just going to step back and behold this adorable llama, frowning slightly.]

I'm not sure if this is a weird thing to get for your wedding or not. What do you think? Is it weird?


v. No blues blues (Closed to Kashuu)


[Usually, Soujirou very evidently doesn't care about his appearance, but this is difference. It's one thing that half his hair was a washed-out turquoise basically forever, that's still kind of fun. But grey? Grey is boring, and also makes him look like he's his parents' age from behind. It's weird.

Hair styling cost money, but Kiyomitsu has been complaining about his hair forever. So why not kill two birds with one stone? Not to say that he won't offer to pay for the products used and so on anyway, but at least it won't be salon prices.

...Let's be real, he knows Kiyomitsu might actually pay him to get to fix the disaster that is his hair.

So yes, here's Soujirou, turning up at his friend's place with a big smile, ready to be bossed around and berated. HE'S PREPARED. He thinks he's prepared.]

So... I'm guessing I don't get a say in what you're about to do, huh?

Comments

II - oh my god this is beautiful :'D

[flowrite]

[Fai has no idea what's in store for him today. He knows he's meeting Soujirou at the office, they have a few appointments to do together, and he's probably got a stack of paperwork half a foot tall to process. That's all normal stuff. He drives his pretty pink car into the office today, even though he usually leaves her at home, because he's still so tickled with the new color and takes every chance he gets to show her off. He's got a giant thermos of caramel-flavored coffee (for himself) and a box of macarons (to share with his co-workers, mostly).

It's the macarons that lead him into the kitchen first before anything else, to deposit the majority of the box on the counter for everyone to have at them. And there's Soujirou, giggling. Fai stops, looks at him, tilts his head just a little and smiles.]

You're in a good mood today~!

let loose the hounds of prank war

[spes_phthisica]

[Soujirou does not have the best pokerface, let's put it like that. As soon as Fai enters the room, he absolutely has to clap a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. But considering how his shoulders shake, it's dubious how helpful it is.

He manages to pull himself together after a moment or two, eyes still bright with amusement as he attempts and doesn't quite manage a nonchalant little shrug.]

I've had a pretty good week so far. Look- [He points down at his ruined leggings and the band-aids decorated with tiny pastel chocobos.] -even this didn't manage to ruin my mood somehow.

[flowrite]

[Fai's gaze follows Soujirou's gesture down to the mess of the other man's leggings and his eyes widen in distress. At least Soujirou seems to be okay now--and the band-aids are kind of cute!--but that still looks like a painful mess!

And thus the giggling is momentarily forgotten~]

Oh my god, what happened? If I'd known this morning was going to be such a disaster I'd have given you a ride to work!

[spes_phthisica]

[Soujirou just grins and shakes his head, swinging his legs on the tall stool he's perched on to demonstrate that they're really quite fine.]

Oh, it was my own fault. I tried to look impressive doing something kind of risky, and I guess I reaped what I sowed.

[Mostly, his pride had taken a worse beating than his knees, and Soujirou has always been good at shaking that kind of thing off. Anyway, he's in too good a mood to care about that.]

Really, it hasn't been a disaster at all, so don't worry.

[flowrite]

[Fai frowns a moment longer, trying to make up his mind if he's going to accept this answer, and then the frown gradually morphs into a sympathetic smile.]

Well, I'm just glad you're okay. I think we'll probably have enough time between our appointments if you want to change? I can drive you over to your place in my pretty pink car!

[By now he's grinning again. It really doesn't take him long to bounce back, since he knows that his friend is okay. Almost as an afterthought, and in an attempt to help Soujirou feel better, he reaches back for the box of macarons and offers it out to the younger man.]

Cookie?

v!!

[sharplydressed]

[HE THINKS HE'S PREPARED but no one can ever truly be prepared to deal with Kashuu when he's in stylist mode...

At any rate, he's 100% correct in assuming Kashuu would pay for Soujirou to get his hair taken care of, so this? This totally works for him. He has all of the products he needs anyway, since he also does makeup and behind-the-scenes stage prep for the models that he dresses. It's not exactly the glamorous designer life, but he's always enjoyed making people feel pretty, so it works well enough for him.

Soujirou gets NONE OF THAT MERCY though... Because he let his hair become an awful mess of grey and it was still bad even before that. As he's rummaging through this box and that to find what he needs, he casts a single look over his shoulder that says "what do you think?"]

If what you say is stupid then yeah, no, you don't. I'll listen to ideas, though.

[spes_phthisica]

[Soujirou ambles inside and plops himself down dutifully to wait for whatever unknown tortures weird beauty stuff it is that Kiyomitsu is digging out.]

Mmm, I don't know. Bright orange, maybe? Kind of like flames!

[He's probably joking and being a brat. Probably even Soujirou knows that this is a very bad idea. Probably.

He probably isn't aware that the shirt he's wearing would clash horribly with anything bright orange, but we can't have everything.]

What do you think?

[sharplydressed]

Give me serious suggestions or I'm gonna shave you bald instead.

[HE SAYS... But of course Kashuu is one person who knows how serious hair is, and even if he threatens to cut Soujirou's hair off more often than he probably should, he'd never actually do it.]

—But first, go sit by the sink. I'm giving you a deep conditioning before we even start.

[Because his poor hair.]

[spes_phthisica]

You already know what I look like bald, Kiyomitsu.

[Lightly, lightly; it's as close as he'll get of talking about The Past. But yes, Kiyomitsu knows what he looked like back when they were both still training together. Barely any hair at all, only headfuzz. It was impractical for fighting, wasn't it?

It would be nice to say that he grew it out as a clear break with his past, but the truth was that he'd been too depressed to leave the house for quite a while. The decision to let it keep growing unchecked only came when his dad started grumbling that he didn't have to look like a girl just because he could no longer fight. Soujirou can be contrary when he wants to.

It's possible that he's only cut his hair maybe a couple of times since then. So as he goes and sits down obediently by the sink, it's probably well needed at this point.]

Is that like an ordinary conditioning but we bring in Yasusada's textbooks and try to understand them?

I. Den här titeln fick mig att tänka på checkers. Det är nog en låt (eller sång? meh) men idek

[shutupmage]

"The hell?"

He hadn't seen the leap over the fence, but he definitely saw the veritable mass of papers as they cycloned around him on his run. Not wanting to step on any and ruin them - because who knew, they might be important to someone! - he came to an abrupt halt, scanning the area with narrowed eyes until he made out the form of a man sitting sheepishly on the ground.

"Tch. You do damage to anything but those pants?"

Yeah, he could pick up the damn papers later. If this guy was hurt that needed to take priority, even if he was an idiot.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRyy4fa54SY EN VÄLDIGT KONSTIG SÅNG

[spes_phthisica]

First of all, rude. Those leggings were a great loss and Kurogane could at least respect that Soujirou is in a stage of grief right now.

...Well, maybe not quite. But he pokes mournfully at the ragged and slightly bloody edges of one tear and then winces because, well, his knees are a bit sore. Still, a moment later he's shrugging the question off. "Scraped knees won't kill me." He knows what will kill him, and it's not his knees. He looks around at all the fluttering papers and makes a face, getting to his feet with a small groan. "But look at the mess I made."

...wait why is this catchy help

[shutupmage]

Grief over pants wasn't something that had ever occurred to him, so nope, sorry. No respect.

"Good, I guess. I guess I can help you pick this crap up."

Hey, man, it was early and he was being as nice as he possibly could.

it IS catchy and I felt I needed to someone to suffer with me

[spes_phthisica]

On one hand, still a bit rude. But on the other, he can't actually argue too much about the 'crap' descriptor considering the content of the papers, and it's still an offer for help. So he smiles brightly instead, bending down to start grabbing wayward papers too.

"Could you? I rather need these later today, and would hate to have to go through them all again to find the relevant ones..." That is to say, the ones that don't have outright porn or inappropriate language on them. There's a lot of that, so it would mean having to go through the whole book again. He'd really rather not.

iv!

[outpunch]

[Juzo, being the person in question, can't help looking at the shower curtain and then shifting his gaze to Soujirou. After repeating this a few times, he finally realizes that responding might be a good idea.]

Depends. Do you want my honest opinion or just an opinion?

[There's a huge difference between the two, it seems.]

Juzo deserves better

[spes_phthisica]

[Soujirou looks honestly surprised at the question - possibly he's used to having fairly blunt people around him, so anyone even asking the question comes as a surprise.]

Well, your honest opinion, of course. Just any opinion isn't very useful, you're the one I asked.

[He says while smiling his most dazzling smile, as if the already implied criticism of his choice has just bounced right off.]

[outpunch]

If you say so.

[He doesn't even need to look at the curtain again, but Juzo does so anyway. This is the most hideous shower curain he has ever seen and no other curtain will top it. Probably. He wishes so, at least.]

It reminds me of Jim's fucked up personality which is probably a good thing. In a way. I guess?

[spes_phthisica]

[Soujirou giggles, tilting his head in thought.]

Soooo, what you're saying is... either he loves it, in which case I suppose I've accomplished the mission excellently. Or he hates it, in which case- [Soujirou shrugs.] -well, I can't say I like him much anyway.

[A beat.] I wasn't sure if you're a 'Spec user or not, but I guess that settles it. Unless this is some other guy named Jim having strangers buy him registry gifts, in which case I guess I've messed up.

i

[smothershadow]

[Here Amelia was, just minding her own pretentious business taking a walk through the Terrace for lack of anything more constructive to do, and suddenly there's a crazy man launching himself over the fence. And almost getting stuck there like an out of season Christmas ornament.

She stops, staring openly and levelly, and not reacting when pages fall on or near her like oversized snowflakes.]

I assume you had a good reason for doing that.

[She doesn't even know the reason, it's straight to judgment.

Amelia disapproves -10]

[spes_phthisica]

[Alas, apparently judgement is the only payment for trying to be dashing for a moment. Soujirou isn't too bothered about it, has never been all that easily embarrassed, but he laughs ruefully even so.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to get in your way or anything.

[He bounces relatively easily to his feet, wincing only slightly when he notices that he's kind of dripping a little bit of blood down on his already ruined leggings.]

You don't happen to have a band-aid on you, huh? [Just going to... not exactly answer that question and start gathering up a couple of papers.]

[smothershadow]

[Amelia does glance down at the blood, and makes a show of brushing a sheet of paper off her shoulder. Isn't she helpful.]

I'm afraid not.

[She's not that kind of helicopter mom!

Anymore. She definitely was when her son was younger.]

[spes_phthisica]

Ah, well. Thanks anyway.

[For what? Her judgement, apparently. He grabs the falling sheet of paper in mid-air, smiling pleasantly.]

Anyway, I did have a good reason for doing that. [Now that he's figured out sort of how to answer, since there's no telling if she's a Retrospec user or not.] It's for a game, kind of. Or maybe more accurately like a dare.

i!

[okitactless]

[a.k.a. the SOUJIROU WHY prompt...

Which is probably exactly what Yamato's gonna say once he gets over there, because?? He sure was just walking along and minding his own business when papers suddenly started flying everywhere, and a closer look revealed one (1) Soujirou on the ground. He seems fine, but Yamato rushes over anyway, gray eyes wide and concerned. He reaches out, but rather than helping Soujirou stand up, he puts his hands on one of his scraped knees like he's trying to hide it.]

Soujirou! Are you okay? [DO HIS HEALING POWERS WORK ON OTHER PEOPLE... he doubts it, but he can try.]

[spes_phthisica]

[Okay, friendly concern is really nice, but also that is one very scraped up and bleeding knee? Touching it kind of hurts.]

Owwwww, careful! [Soujirou winces and squirms a bit, but still manages to greet Yasusada with a smile]

I'm fine, really. It's just that my bag got stuck on the pointy things. [He holds up exhibit A, which indeed has many places to get stuck on a fence. One of the colorful patches has almost been ripped off.]

[okitactless]

[That bag really does look easy to get caught, but more importantly, he's clearly not helping. So he yanks his hands away and smiles apologetically, though it looks more like a wince than anything.]

Sorry, sorry... I was hoping I could help. [He's disappointed that it didn't work, but not surprised, really. At least he knows now.] You sure you're okay? I can go get some bandages if you want. [There's a mini-mart not too far away which probably has some, and possibly not!slurpees.]

[spes_phthisica]

Well, I probably should put some bandages on...

[If nothing else, because the ragged edges of the leggings will probably get stuck to the sticky blood and that sounds like a bad time. And Yasusada looks so anxious to help, which is rather sweet.]

If you could get a bottle of water too, I can wash some of the dirt off first. That'll probably help more than poking it. [His voice is gently teasing, but really, he's a bit confused about why Yasusada thought putting his hand on an open scrape was going to fix it.]