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Entry tags:
[ OPEN ] SHOT THROUGH THE HEART
WHO: Baren & open to all! (closed threads for bingo in comments)
WHERE: The plaza! The mall! Throughout Recolle! Anywhere!
WHEN: throughout July
WHAT: Diamonds are agirl's demon's best friend, Party Satan Tours™️, and Bootleg Retrospec Merch. Rest in pieces, everyone.
WARNINGS: baren being baren sounds like a legit warning to me
[ A : HAVE YOU HEARD? ]
[Baren doesn't like doing what he's told - in fact, he hates it.
The problem is that he's also a very, very, very curious person by nature.
As a result, the bingo cards taunt him ruthlessly. Which is why he finds himself setting up a stand right in the middle of the plaza, standing atop a crate like a loony. Anyone who recalls his eyepatch shenanigans might notice that for some reason, he's still wearing one even though the trend is no longer at its height. On top of that, it's... well. Bedazzled. Beautifully and artistically, about as aesthetically pleasing as any.. bedazzled item... can be.
The shit he does for bingo.]
You won't believe the shit that these guys sent me! A whole treasure chest of sparkling jewels like I'm some kinda gaudy pirate! But you know - they actually have some merits to them? Sapphires for good luck and protection. Amethysts for healing properties. Rubies for those struggling for love—
[And he stops what he's saying, spots you in the crowd, and just looks... sad....]
You want one, buddy? I'll give you some for free. You look like you need it more than I do.
[he's just doing it for shits and giggles, stop him]
[ B : AND TO YOUR LEFT, YOU'LL FIND - ]
[You know those ridiculous, shitty buses that people ride on in Hollywood to creepily stalk out the houses of celebrities because who doesn't love Beyoncé.
Baren managed to rent one for the day. On the side, instead of Star Tours or anything like that, there's an actually very artistically well-done and aesthetically pleasing logo for Party Satan Tours™️. Baren did not actually trademark the name, he just wanted to put the little mark on.
And here he is, perched precariously at the very tip-top of the bus with a microphone, clearing his throat as he points out:]
And you know that spot? Retrospec is trying to keep it on the down-low, but that's where a bunch of leprechauns they accidentally summoned host their gambling circle every Tuesday. There's the opportunity to make a pot of gold pun here, but I won't. You're welcome.
Oh, oh! And over there - on the right! Rumor has it that about two decades ago, that's where a baby suddenly had enough superhuman strength to fight off a burglar that was trying to take its candy. Further research is needed, but I think that's the first sign of someone getting ridiculous powers in this city! Supposedly, these superpowered folks now just walk among us! But you know... Now that I think about it....
[And he turns to someone random on the bus, singling them out embarrassingly even as he leans forward precariously.]
You look kinda familiar... Do I know you from somewhere?
[ C : THANKS FOR COMING ]
[And anyone who leaves the tour - why did you end up on it - or is just walking by on the street is now the proud owner of an 'I ♥ Retrospec' t-shirt.
Except right beneath it, in smaller font, it says '- said nobody ever'. (He thinks it counts.)
And because Baren doesn't know the meaning of self-control, he made bobbleheads. Sort of. Instead of the bobblehead man actually having a face, there's just an empty slot where you can put in a picture of a friend for shits and giggles. Except the placeholder image just says 'Jim?' and on the back of each bobblehead is a neat little 'KICK ME' sign.
Finally, finally, to kick off the end to his absolutely chaotic day, Baren takes one of the bobbleheads, tosses it into the air, and with a baseball bat that he definitely just bought from the sports shop next door, proceeds to knock a homerun swing to send it flying.
He's too busy cackling madly to actually think about if it hit someone. Well.]
[ OOC: Just trying to knock some miscellaneous squares off Baren's Bingo! If there's any others that you want to cross off, or need help crossing off, let me know! I'm available for plotting at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
evergrace. I'll have some closed threads in the comments for pre-plotted bingo squares but I'm always ready for more! ]
WHERE: The plaza! The mall! Throughout Recolle! Anywhere!
WHEN: throughout July
WHAT: Diamonds are a
WARNINGS: baren being baren sounds like a legit warning to me
[ A : HAVE YOU HEARD? ]
[Baren doesn't like doing what he's told - in fact, he hates it.
The problem is that he's also a very, very, very curious person by nature.
As a result, the bingo cards taunt him ruthlessly. Which is why he finds himself setting up a stand right in the middle of the plaza, standing atop a crate like a loony. Anyone who recalls his eyepatch shenanigans might notice that for some reason, he's still wearing one even though the trend is no longer at its height. On top of that, it's... well. Bedazzled. Beautifully and artistically, about as aesthetically pleasing as any.. bedazzled item... can be.
The shit he does for bingo.]
You won't believe the shit that these guys sent me! A whole treasure chest of sparkling jewels like I'm some kinda gaudy pirate! But you know - they actually have some merits to them? Sapphires for good luck and protection. Amethysts for healing properties. Rubies for those struggling for love—
[And he stops what he's saying, spots you in the crowd, and just looks... sad....]
You want one, buddy? I'll give you some for free. You look like you need it more than I do.
[he's just doing it for shits and giggles, stop him]
[ B : AND TO YOUR LEFT, YOU'LL FIND - ]
[You know those ridiculous, shitty buses that people ride on in Hollywood to creepily stalk out the houses of celebrities because who doesn't love Beyoncé.
Baren managed to rent one for the day. On the side, instead of Star Tours or anything like that, there's an actually very artistically well-done and aesthetically pleasing logo for Party Satan Tours™️. Baren did not actually trademark the name, he just wanted to put the little mark on.
And here he is, perched precariously at the very tip-top of the bus with a microphone, clearing his throat as he points out:]
And you know that spot? Retrospec is trying to keep it on the down-low, but that's where a bunch of leprechauns they accidentally summoned host their gambling circle every Tuesday. There's the opportunity to make a pot of gold pun here, but I won't. You're welcome.
Oh, oh! And over there - on the right! Rumor has it that about two decades ago, that's where a baby suddenly had enough superhuman strength to fight off a burglar that was trying to take its candy. Further research is needed, but I think that's the first sign of someone getting ridiculous powers in this city! Supposedly, these superpowered folks now just walk among us! But you know... Now that I think about it....
[And he turns to someone random on the bus, singling them out embarrassingly even as he leans forward precariously.]
You look kinda familiar... Do I know you from somewhere?
[ C : THANKS FOR COMING ]
[And anyone who leaves the tour - why did you end up on it - or is just walking by on the street is now the proud owner of an 'I ♥ Retrospec' t-shirt.
Except right beneath it, in smaller font, it says '- said nobody ever'. (He thinks it counts.)
And because Baren doesn't know the meaning of self-control, he made bobbleheads. Sort of. Instead of the bobblehead man actually having a face, there's just an empty slot where you can put in a picture of a friend for shits and giggles. Except the placeholder image just says 'Jim?' and on the back of each bobblehead is a neat little 'KICK ME' sign.
Finally, finally, to kick off the end to his absolutely chaotic day, Baren takes one of the bobbleheads, tosses it into the air, and with a baseball bat that he definitely just bought from the sports shop next door, proceeds to knock a homerun swing to send it flying.
He's too busy cackling madly to actually think about if it hit someone. Well.]
[ OOC: Just trying to knock some miscellaneous squares off Baren's Bingo! If there's any others that you want to cross off, or need help crossing off, let me know! I'm available for plotting at
no subject
Oh, honey, beautiful women like you are why they say romance is dead.
[but he's?? not mad about it??? why is this]
no subject
But what do you think? [She looks plaintive. He seems like the type to come to his own conclusions about rumors...and about beautiful women.]
no subject
[and he has ridiculous amounts of respect for both??? but his answer is actually
remarkably truthful for someone who sure does have rumors circulating about him too]
no subject
That's probably why they didn't want us owning our own property! [It's said with a joking pout, but man, her voice is devious. Baren's way more fun than some of the other guys who are out there playing bingo games.
He's a stranger to her, but from what she's seen out and about town, the eyepatch is new. It catches her attention now that they're face-to-face.]
no subject
You'd just give us all a run for our money, darling.
no subject
Without trying! [Nui agrees.] We wouldn't even have to run.
[God, she just can't quite stifle the impulse to stare. And she normally wouldn't have any problem with that, but Nui turns her cheek so she's closer to his ear, murmuring.]
This has been fun and all, but I should probably run a background check before I say yes, huh?
no subject
Which is why he doesn't even miss a beat, moving automatically with her so that she doesn't have to lean up quite so much to reach his ear.
He whispers back conspiratorially.]
You could always just ask my sister and she'll spill all the beans. Gotta meet the family eventually, right?