Nope

[b0mbshell]

WHO: Kazuhira Miller OTA
WHERE: Majima's club
WHEN: Ambiguously during this month
WHAT: Miller took a bet that he'd wear a cheerleader outfit
WARNINGS: Not much beyond a dude dressed ridiculously, possibly a memory or two.

[What happens when someone gives Kazuhira Miller a ridiculous bet? He'll take it.]

[He has silent vows to himself that at thirty, he'll become a decent, respectable upstanding citizen. He'll be admirably chaste and attempt to settle down and he'll be completely within acceptible parameters.]

[But today is not that day, and Kaz is at Majima's club dressed in his finest. And by finest, one means that he looked for a full day to find a cheerleader outfit that would fit a man of his size.]

[This is the shame of knowing this man as a friend and the entertainment or offense to bystanders.]

[It's his only planned appearance of the night and for all that he's brave enough to do it, he's also aware that he'll turn into a pumpkin or something if he wears a skirt that short for too long. Or he'll lose the color yellow. Who knows at this point.]

Comments

I apologize for him in advance

[flowrite]

[Fai isn't at the club to actually sit with anybody--for all the times that he's been here by now, he's never actually been to the club for its intended purpose. He comes here because Majima is a friend and it's the easiest way to meet up with him. Hell, he sat there on the couch in Majima's office not so long ago and cried his eyes out.

On this particular occasion, however, he was just stopping by to bring another batch of cookies to his friend before heading out again. For a change he's got nowhere in particular to be, but he's thinking about maybe grabbing a giant, sugary, chocolately iced coffee before heading home.

That is, until he sees the guy in the cheerleader outfit.

Fai pauses, head cocked a little to the side as a grin slowly spreads across his face. That guy looks really familiar. Is that...?]

Miller? Am I remembering that right?

[Fai saunters over, still grinning. He's wearing his usual, tight jeans and a button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and he's spinning his car keys around one finger idly while he not-so-subtly looks poor Kaz up and down.]

I should say the same.

[b0mbshell]

[The worst part is the guy in the cheerleader outfit doesn't look ashamed or embarrassed.] Yeah! You're Fai, aren't you? [And that's when Fai experiences having a sturdy guy in a short skirt grab his free hand with both of his own and give it a vigorous shake of his own.]

Nice to actually talk to you in person. I know we met, but not much of a chance to get to know each other.

[He looks down then, and turns his heel to examine the socks that are covering his calf. His attention swings back to Fai.] Trust me, this isn't my first choice in outfit. More like my twenty-third. [And that drink smelled pretty good, for someone that showed up in this number because he wanted alcohol. Maybe he should have went for that instead.]

[flowrite]

[Hey, that's not the worst part at all, Kaz! Work it!

Fai does seem a little startled when Kaz grabs his hand, but after that initial moment of surprise he goes right back to grinning.] Right, that's me. It's nice to meet you in person too! Although I have to say, I wasn't really expecting something like this~

[He watches with interest as Kaz examines his own outfit]

Oh? Why go with this one, then? What was your first choice?

[b0mbshell]

[He grunts a little, a manly noise that contradicts the fact he's wearing shiny fabric that barely covers his sassy smart ass.]

The conversation led that way. [He puts his hand on his hip.] And when someone offered to buy me a drink to prove myself? Well, I have to rise to a challenge. [He has the thick soul of a competitor.]

Normally I'm a suit or dressy clothes kind of guy. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to meet you while I'm dressed more responsibly and not like I came out of a teenage dance team movie.

[But he could play the bitchy clique leader. He's certain of it.]

[flowrite]

[Fai lets out a little laugh that may or may not actually be a giggle. (Spoilers: it is)]

Wait, so all it takes is one little free drink to get you into a cheerleader's outfit? This is dangerous information, you know. I wouldn't go advertising this to just anyone~!

[But Fai would never take advantage of this information. Never.]

Ah, but I don't mind! I've worn plenty of skirts myself. I mean, not usually cheerleader skirts, but!

[stopbleeding]

[It's not a club Zoro would visit. It's not a club Zoro would ever think to visit and so he looks more than a little out of place when he arrives dressed more for a biker bar than a caberet club. Unsure of the proper protocol, he causes a small scene at the entrance before pushing into the main room, cluelessly searching for a guy he's barely seen.

Zoro never thought he'd be so thankful a guy was wearing a skirt. Made him easier to spot.]

Aren't you too old to be playing dress-up? [Grinning, he slides into the seat next to Kaz. Hair slicked back with biker jeans and an open leather jacket he looks like a natural John Travolta next to Kaz's unique take on Sandy.]

Ryouta Ono. Call me Zoro. How do I buy that drink I owe you?

[This club is confusing and fancy. Help him.]

[b0mbshell]

[Kaz sees no harm in the biker bar bit. And he's currently watching a girl and dance, so at first he doesn't notice. Now there are a few men that notice (In that "what the hell??" kind of way), and a waitress that strolls by and smacks him on the thigh.]

[Kaz reacts like he knows her and is mostly mock annoyed.]

[Zoro announces himself and Kaz turns on the stool he's perched himself on.] Hi, good to meet you. [He offers his hand in that manner that seems borderline professional and familiar. Prepping for the type of handshake an eager man in a suit would go for.]

I'm Miller. [Though that's probably obvious from all his registration. Thanks Retrospec.]

Just ask the waitress when she comes back around and if I'm lucky she won't slap me again. Don't worry, she's not like that with everyone.

[stopbleeding]

I thought they were supposed to flatter people in places like this, not hit them.

[Was it a preference thing? Zoro didn't really want to think about it, just as he pointedly keeps his eyes off the girl Kaz is watching. The handshake is a good distraction.]

Did you have a hard time finding an outfit that fit?

[b0mbshell]

You would be surprised. I had to go to a year-round costume store in Tisse. And her? That's not the standard greeting, really. She uh- Well, I sort of know her.

[Sort of in the way he didn't stay for breakfast but can still get along with her.]

Alright, you pick the drink.

[He wonders what happened to Zoro's eye, but he doesn't want to ask just yet. Seems to be a poor introduction as it is. "Hello, I wore a skirt. Give me booze." No wait, who is he kidding? That's a fantastic introduction. If he's not doing business he should keep things true to himself.]

[judgementkazzy]

[ Majima's club may as well be Kiryu's second home now that they're dating, but that doesn't mean he's stopped being a client and talking up his hosts and hostesses while he's there. For all that Miller might look totally ridiculous, his heart's definitely into it.

Kiryu would never mock someone when they're totally into it. (He'd never mock anyone, actually.) By the time Miller is done with his song, Kiryu is clapping. ]

You're really good at that.

[ Uh, the skirt-wearing, or the music? ]

[b0mbshell]

Thanks.

[Miller will assume Kiryu means both, either earnestly or as a joke. He can happily accept both. He does look down at the knee socks, though.]

I might have been pushing it with these, but I'm already feeling too much of a draft.

[But he came out with the purpose of looking ridiculous, and this miracle worker pulled it off.] You don't seem like the type to be a regular here? Drop by to see Majima?

[judgementkazzy]

[ Hey, you're rocking it man, don't gotta be embarrassed. ]

Ah, I guess it would be cold, huh.

[ This man has never worn a skirt in his life, he'd never even considered it... ]

Oh, yeah. He's usually busy with work so I stay and chat with the hostesses. I like to support Majima's business.

[ ...He's gotta ask, though. ]

Where'd you even get an outfit that fit you?

[b0mbshell]

A costume shop. Halloween is a long way off but there's a year-round store in Tisse. The socks and shoes I got at a sports store. They're actually running gear.

[He seems pleased with that bit, because the socks are legitimately comfortable, as are the shoes.] And honestly this was the one that covered the most skin. The others bared midriffs and I mean, I've got a nice stomach [he works at it so he'll say it] but uh...



No.

[He has some standards of dignity.]

[sotenbori]

[ there's no shame to be shared here -- but majima can't help by smile when he sees kaz, for all that he tries to keep up nothing but professionalism when the club's actually open. he makes sure to take some time to talk to him - either before or after he's been sat with a girl, whatever. ]

Maybe you should lose bets more often. [ his accent is gone now, replaced by his #businessperson tone, for all the content is definitely amicable. ] I have to say, I like this look.

[b0mbshell]

[Like the classiest of patrons, Kaz walks over to Majima while reaching behind himself and trying to smooth down the back of the skirt so it won't ride up too high. It's been a difficult battle, to be sure.]

I don't know that it was necessary losing a bet so much as winning one. I'm getting a few drinks out of the mess and if I can make people laugh? Well, my time is as good as theirs.

But I don't plan to make a habit of it.

[Too drafty. Plus it toes that very fine line where he actually starts feeling shy.]

[sotenbori]

[ so classy. he's nailing it. ]

You're doing great -- how long do you have to keep it up?

[b0mbshell]

[There's only so much of Kazuhira Miller's booty that can be tolerated and he's not willing to push the limits tonight.]

Just until I go home. Then it's the world's laziest flannel pajamas for me.

I'll try to make my exit when you have the most distracting girl possible on stage.

[If he doesn't get distracted.]

[rygdea]

Hey sexy!

[Who the fuck said that---Oh, it's Fynn. Of course it's Fynn. It's a Friday night, he just got off the clock, and he's here to party. The officer probably only guy besides Kaz wearing a pair of blue aviators at night. What can he say? He likes sunglasses. It makes him look important and they frame his face nicely.

Looking good over there! I appreciate the shaven legs.

[A chuckle escapes him as he takes a sip of his bourbon. He looks pretty damn sharp in a blue button down shirt, black slacks and matching heeled boots. A simple but classy ensemble for a lowkey guy. Not exactly the gentlemanly type but definitely fun and unpredictable judging from the too long brown wild hair.]

[b0mbshell]

[Now, the Hey sexy! part isn't getting him because he wore this for that exact reaction (and has been taking it as a joke, coming from everyone it's come from). So he turns towards the man like it's your average "hello!"]

[It's when he notices that Kaz actually shaved his legs (not that he was particularly hair, or that the hair is any shade of near dark, but still with a skirt that short-) that Kaz manages to find a shade of red that he rarely manages.]

Oh! Well, you know...

Figured if I was going to hold an open house might as well wax the floor.

Though technically, didn't wax them. I'm only so brave.

[rygdea]

[That reply wins a hearty laugh from the police officer. ]

I hear you, man! I'm into many kinks but I'm not into pain. Waxing is like medieval torture to me. [His chuckling dies a little.] Hey, come over here! You want a drink?

[He's already about to order another round of bourbon. Fynn is hailing a taxi later since he's already three shots in. There's no way he could drive home safely in a tricked out sports car.]

[b0mbshell]

[And that is why he wore the skirt! Not paying for his own alcohol tonight.]

Yes!

[Now he sees why women do this. One can show their legs (if they're nice legs) and end up not having to pay for their evening. Excellent.]

Give me some sake. I'm aiming for the things that won't give me a hangover. I have things to do tomorrow. [He swings around on his stool, the fabric of said skirt swishing.]

[gudaguda]

Ooooo!

[ Sakura's clapping as she notices Kaz, trying to hold back her laughter as she enters Majima's establishment. He was visible even from the entrance. Normally she just hangs out and people watches but today was even better than that. ]

I didn't know you wanted to start cosplaying, Miller-san! Otherwise I would have brought mine too.

[ She's trying to say this all with a straight face but she's failing to do so, Sakura's biting her lower lip and her eyes are enormously wide as she's trying to not let the giggles spill out. ]

[b0mbshell]

I didn't want to start cosplaying so much as I wanted a free drink and a laugh. But let's admit it, you'd look way better in a get up like this than me.

[But somehow he looks surprisingly casual as he crosses his long stupid idiot legs and lightly kicks his foot. He even shaved those damn things so he could be a proper embarrassment to everyone else he knows.]

But, you know, after feeling a draft for this long you girls are getting my sympathies.

[gudaguda]

[ Sakura shrugs. She'd probably look better - but again outfits like that are made for someone of her type better. Mostly being female bodied helped in filling out the awkward curves of the shirt and skirt. ]

Oh! Your legs are shiny.

[ she says, craning her head and peering at him. ]

10/10 for effort. Do you want me to do your make up properly?

[ She's already rummaging inside her handbag for her makeup kit ]

[b0mbshell]

Oh no. [he holds up his hands] I'm not doing that one again. Last time I couldn't get the eyeliner off for two days! I looked like a raccoon behind my glasses.

[Last time???]

[But then comes the more grudging admission.]

I sort of um... shaved them. Figured if I was going to wear a skirt, I would go all the way. [No one told him they'd itch so bad either. He's suffering.] Good of you to notice, though.