strider monster mash remix: an october catch-all for dave

[parodeity]

WHO: dave strider & you (also features 1 joint prompt with john egbert, infected shade version)
WHERE: everywhere
WHEN: october
WHAT: monster shenanigans! i may update with more prompts come event 2, but so far covers event 1. dave can infect people with the vampire, mummy, or shade strains! i'm willing to do an infection in any of the prompts, including the daytime.
WARNINGS: i mean he'll bite a few people so blood and stuff, please specify if you don't want that for a transfer because eye contact or a shoulder bump is also chill w/ me

one. is this scary or is this just dumb?

[ while dave can be found carving at the pumpin patch, he can also be found setting up the jack-o-lanterns at his house, artistically arranging them on the porch. his designs are a mixture of traditional pumpkin smiles, terrible sbahj art, and unfortunately dicks. while most of this qualifies as "happy", the latter or even the sbahj images qualify more as "spooky" or just "plain scary in terms of why would you even, you moron". so, his hair is either pink when he sets them up or changed pink just now as he carves some of his pumpkin army. people are free to comment on the change from his usual white-blond hair either way. ]

two. he actually expected this

[ the dumb thing is that dave was actually fairly suspicious of the hay ride. like, it was the obvious sort of thing to have been hit by retrospec traps, and yet he couldn't help himself going on it. it's tradition, and he usually goes with his brother, although this year he just piled into a random hayride.

when things get Spooky^TM dave just kind of sighs.

when the carriage falls apart and the horses disappear he saves himself a fall to the ground by floating in the air before he lets his feet touch down. he shoves his hands into his jean pockets and looks around. ]

Guess it's time to get our navigational scout patch. Shit, why don't we have sashes for badges and whatever? We've done enough dumb challenges to have some pretty interestin badges. Like, the "got stranded in space" badge. The "beat coyotes at cheating at poker" badge. The "got stuck in a computer" badge.

three. a daytime mistake

[ dave got a combination of viruses that make it a little hard to operate during the daytime. literally all three creatures traditionally shun the daylight or don't do so well in them. dave is both a little weaker in the daytime and...

well. if you go to the catmosphere cafe, you'll find one of the waiters - dressed up like a vampire - has a wrist that sparkles in the slant of (sun)moonlight as he places your order down.

oops. ]

Body glitter. In lotion. Who would've thought Razzle Dazzle Raspberry actually had dazzle? I thought it was just a snazzy alliterative name. Truth in advertising happens rarely enough I was fooled by the actual truth. But hey, at least I smell pretty and could star in an 80s music video. Or early 90s maybe? Which do you think would be more era-appropriate? [ dave says with what might be something like a smile.

(it's not. that's one of his more stupid monster traits. it might be wise to run, or to go with the joke obliviously.) ]

four. thriller at night

[ for the most part, dave looks normal. a little more pale than usual, but he's so pale usually that it might be hard for the casual observer to tell. the same is true of being a little thinner and a lot colder. in the dark it's hard or impossible to tell what his shadow is doing (moving, sometimes differently from dave, and much bigger than it should be...). his eyes are still blood red, but they're hidden as ever behind his shades - so any slight changes to those are also impossible to spot.

it's possible to meet him without being infected by him. it's possible that all that will happen is a stranger (or a friend) will steal your shadow, and you'll be without it for the rest of the month. but as he prowls around outside, he does want to obey. submit. consume. whether that comes from eye contact - he'll tip his shades down during a conversation - or a brush of his hand or something more traditionally vampiric (since mummies and shades don't particularly have any lore-specific transfer method).

it's also possible that you've done Something to trigger a mummy-level grudge, which we can totally talk about or you can just throw at me.

anyway. dave's just strolling down the street in the dead of night, hands in his pockets. no big deal.

he stops when he sees anyone, though, and the corner of his mouth turns up. any other source-infectants may feel a certain cameraderie with him. everyone else...

well, what do you feel? ]

Sup. [ nice night for it, his tone implies, quiet and affable and probably extremely dangerous for it. ]

five. a fun couple's activity (joint with john egbert)

[ as early as the evening of the seventh dave doesn't always take those strolls at night alone. of course, he seems to be alone, at first. maybe he just seems to be going the same way you're going...

but you might realize he's following you after a little while. if you turn to confront him, however, he'll just smile over your shoulder. ]

Let loose, babe. [ - yeah, he's not alone. while dave looks mostly normal and non-threatening (until he loses his cool, at least) the shadows behind you convalesce into john egbert, and he looks a little more threatening.

you're welcome to try to talk them out of infecting you or collecting an (in)voluntary blood donation or what have you (only if you want that, mind), but you'll probably have to fend them off. watch out: john has windy powers squared off by shadow powers, and dave has dumbass time travel and so on.

they are truly unfortunate people to have been turned.

order will be you > john > dave. ]

wildcard.

[ alternately, feel free to throw any sort of starter at me, and i'll respond in kind! you can also reach me at lucylovespluto or via pms to this journal! i am also willing to write you an original starter if none of these work out and you don't feel like wildcarding me. just lmk! ]

Comments

MALIK: VAMPIRE

[parodeity]

[ so. dave told malik about his house earlier this month, before the whole infection thing. unfortunately, that led to this moment, post-infection thing! namely, he's invited malik over to have a tour of the house and also have some of the promised pumpkin treats via john's cooking.

it is a Trap.

because (obey. submit. consume.) infect. multiply. destroy.

malik is still his friend, and dave knows this, but he also knows he has to turn as many people as possible. he's not questioning the logic on this too much because it's so overwhelming as a need that it's not really a concern at all.

still. maybe malik should be a little concerned at the low lighting in the house as dave opens the door and steps aside?

except dave is on record as having sensitive eyes so... ]

Hey, man. How's your day goin' so far? Any weird Retrospec bullshit?

[godcards]

[ So, hey. This is cool. Normal. Just going over to a friend's house. For Malik, however, it really feels strange. He doesn't do anything like this, he doesn't really have friends, he doesn't really hang out with people. Maybe this would be nice. Maybe this would be incredibly weird and Malik would feel so awkward at his lack of human interaction skills that he'd bail early. Only time will tell!

Dave is unaffected and casual as always. Familiarity helps, even if this isn't an online interaction. ]

Not yet. It's still early, though... I'm sure they'll come up with something eventually. They always do.

[parodeity]

[ malik is never gonna wanna spend time at a friend's house again, is he. DAVE IS SHOOTING HIMSELF IN THE FOOT. or monster!dave is shooting normal!dave in the foot. fuck you, monster!dave? future!dave will be so pissed. ]

I actually kind of miss the silly halloween candy bullshit. I don't remember what the point of it was but at least it wasn't anything ridiculously terrible?

[godcards]

[ Thanks for proving that Malik shouldn't believe in the Power of Friendship, Dave! ]

Yeah. I miss when things were simpler, too.

[ It was still stupid, just like everything Retrospec does, but it was the innocuous kind of stupid. He muses on this and looks around in the entryway; of course he notices that it's kinda dim, which he thinks is weird, but he also figures it's another hip and cool mood lightning thing. Then again, Malik isn't really a big fan of the dark. So he's still kinda hesitating to really venture in. ]

I kinda miss when Retrospec wasn't around at all, in all actuality. All they've done is made things worse.

[parodeity]

[ LOVE HIM, MALIK, HE WANTS TO HAVE GENUINE NON LURING FRIEND HANGOUTS SOMETIME???

dave raises his eyebrows as malik stalls. ]

The treats are in the kitchen, this way...John was cooking basically all day. Like a giant nerd. Also true that??? Although I do like some of my memories.

ELLIOT: VAMPIRE

[parodeity]

[ elliot is on dave's hitlist. ...it's not a death hitlist! sort of. more like, wow, these are people i can lure to infect,,, and as that is his goal this month (infect. multiply. destroy.) and he has by this point fully given in, he's actively planning on how to change as many people as possible.

elliot just happens to be easy. he's a friend and he's into music, so a simple request to come over to dave and john's house to listen to a piece dave's working on for john for christmas (he needs a second ear, you see, and normally that's john but obviously john can't be the second ear for a present for him, dude, do him this solid). and he does in fact plan to have elliot listen to real music for a real present!

he just also, you know, plans to turn him. sorry, elliot.

the very small smile elliot gets at the door is no way indicative of this, although dave asked elliot over fairly late. ]

Hey. Sorry about the hour, but I'm glad you could make it - John's at work, so this was pretty much the best time...

[fiddlestick]

[Well, at least he's getting music out of damnation.

The constant nighttime happening again was pretty worrying. Not only that, but the monstrous outbreak definitely seemed pretty concerning. Still, life was continuing on and it wasn't exactly unusual for Dave to ask him to listen to music. Nor did the hour really concern him because hey, it's dark all the time anyway.

Okay so more like: music and helping friends are his weaknesses and he didn't think things through before he took the bait.

He'll give a smile back, one of his usual friendly ones]

Haha, it's okay! My sleep schedule's pretty messed up. And I'm always happy to help out anyway.

[parodeity]

[ dave closes the door behind elliot, gesturing up towards the music room (previously a study) and leading the way. ]

So...obviously I have some time to get this right, since December isn't quite here, but if I have to rip it up to start over or something I'll want the extra padding time, so I started like. Over the summer.

[ dave that's So Much ]

[fiddlestick]

[he follows after him]

Over the summer? Wow...that's a lot of padding. How many songs is this again?

[parodeity]

Uh, just the one? But it's going to be our first-year anniversary?

[ so it has to be PERFECT.

...john definitely spent a month or so doing and redoing a song for dave's birthday. these idiots. ]

AKIRA: SHADE OR VAMPIRE, IDK WHICH

[parodeity]

[ there's a malice to dave's motives by now. infect. multiply. destroy. he held it off for only a short period at the start, and now he can't. sure, it's easier to control the urges during the daytime, but...

it's also easier to catch people unwary during the daytime.

dave is, unfortunately, one of these people. see, the thing is that cats? cats hate mummies. and that is apparently one of the mummy traits dave has inherited! as soon as he walks in to help on their opening shift of catmosphere on the weekend, all the cats...

well, they hiss.

and scramble. which is not at all normal? usually they like dave just fine. dave doesn't look all that different, just skinnier somehow and even more pale, his freckles impossible to see, but...well. his shadow may move oddly out of the corner of akira's eyes...

but that's probably hard to notice with all the scattering cats.

haha, fuck. he's going to have to turn akira just to get him to keep quiet about this. dave plays it cool so he can get closer. ]

Well, shit. I didn't think my new bodywash was that bad. Razzle Dazzle Raspberry: apparently zero out of ten cats approve.

IT'S VAMPIRE GO AHEAD AND BITE HIM

[maskreant]

[ Huh... Akira is unassuming when all the cats scram in Dave's presence. Unfortunately, he wasn't here to see that Dave is that actual cause, but it's becoming apparent with how the cats avoid him completely. ]

Maybe you should try some cologne. I heard felines love Calvin Klein's "Obsession."

[ Turning towards Dave, he blinks slowly, eyeing him head to toe— ]

... Are you sick?

[ He doesn't particularly smell bad, too. Hm... Akira isn't feeling too good about this, suddenly. ]

i'm glad dave is the worst coworker this month

[parodeity]

[ that's smart, akira. dave makes a face, though, just like he always would. ]

Not enough to stay home? John was fussing about me maybe starting to come down with a cold but I persuaded him I should definitely not stay home. Via distractions.

[ none of this is true whatsoever ]

akira will stake him

[maskreant]

[ What kind of person wants to go to work when they're sick? He knows Dave likes cats, but this is really reaching. Sighing, he wonders how he can get him to head home. ]

... Are you sure? It looks a breeze can topple you over.

[ No, he has to be blunt. ]

I think you should head home—or somehow sun bathe despite the weather.

rude??? akira???

[parodeity]

Okay, dude, you have to know I only sunburn and never sunbathe. It's my curse.

[ a dramatic sigh but USUALLY TRUE. HE FRECKLES AND BURNS. CURSE THE SUN???

dave makes a face as he drifts closer. ]

Besides, wouldn't me going home leave you pretty shorthanded?

three

[thesettingsun]

[Shuji's been side-eyed by the person who led him to his table - the bat wings and horns are harder to explain away than body glitter. At least Dave won't judge him.

And he doesn't hit any of the other customers with a wing. Always a plus.]

Nineties, but body glitter was bigger in the mid, late nineties? Not a bad time for music videos. Daft Punk was doing stuff, can't go wrong with being in a Daft Punk video.

[When he talks, his sharp teeth are more apparent.]

[parodeity]

[ nope! hard to judge another ~source~ monster, and dave relaxes just a hair although he's not quite certain why. he kind of senses what's up, but the slight camaraderie is weird...

except not. he's known shuji for a while now, and they usually talk every so often. ]

Why did body glitter fall out of style, anyway?

[thesettingsun]

[The camraderie is pretty typical. They talk now and then, they've had Retrospec access since forever, of course they're friendly.]

Personally, I'm guessing because people got tired of finding glitter everywhere in their house. Have you ever tried to get glitter out of carpet?

[parodeity]

God no. If glitter gets in the carpet, who am I to try to part it? They were clearly meant to be.

[ i.e. he hasn't fucking bothered to try to clean it even if it happened because he's lazy. ]

[thesettingsun]

[That is such a mood.]

Less enlightened people than you who struggled with vacuum cleaners to no avail called for the end of the body glitter era.

two

[concasse]

[Oh thank the shitty stars.

Dave gets a couple of moments to himself before out of nowhere, Sanji comes barreling through the trees, huffing, looking both pissed off and vaguely distressed]

Where's the shitty exit to this place?!

[Yeah, just guess how long he's been wandering by himself. Zoro would be proud]

[parodeity]

[ ...hello, sanji! dave can sort of guess just by how exasperated and distressed sanji looks, and his eyebrows lift. ]

Not sure off the top of my head, but you know. I can fly? So I can check it out and navigate us home.

[ sometimes dave is a useful person to know! sometimes.

he might not have offered a solution that fast with other people, because dave is sometimes an asshole. ]

[concasse]

[Sanji is Team Asshole all the way, he understands.

He is also forgot he himself could fly, this idiot, so Dave please save Sanji from himself.]

Yeah, that'd be better than me wandering around the same shitty tree for the next thirty minutes, so if you could...

[parodeity]

[ dave doesn't even know sanji can fly so... ]

No problem, man. Did you get ditched on the hayride, too? [ he's already lifting up off the ground in the gentle float as he soars up above the trees...but he stays in hearing range. ]

[concasse]

Yeah... thought the forest would be quieter so I hitched a ride. [A sigh as he massages his neck]

Then the horse turned into a demon and the cart just went to shit.