how many arm puns can i possibly cram in here

[frostythehitman]

WHO: James and YOU!
WHERE: throughout Recolle
WHEN: throughout the month, both before and after 9/5
WHAT: James's arm has gone rogue around the city and he needs help capturing it. Also, smashing guitars, fighting robo-mannequin-friends, and being a hot mess in general.
WARNINGS: extremely stupid antics



1. flyers may be old-school but they're still handy [before 9/5]


[ When you head out into the world on September 3rd, you may notice that a flyer has been posted on damn near every surface: electricity poles, street lamps, bus stops, probably the front door to your local coffee shop or apartment building or office. It's everywhere--often multiple posters in the same spot.

And if your timing is just right, you may notice one (1) James Barnes, wearing the older, bulkier version of his metallic arm, with what looks like an entire ream's worth of paper flyers, continuing to stick them on any flat surface in sight. In between posting flyers, though, you might hear James calling for the arm as if it's a lost pet. ]

Heeeere, arm-y, arm-y, arm...!

[ He's trying to keep quiet about that part, at least, because he recognizes how ridiculous he sounds. ]

2. a. it's a harmful armful [any time]


[ Or maybe you run into the arm before you ever run into James. It doesn't matter when, or where you are, because the arm is, for how conspicuous it is, deceptively sneaky. Maybe it silently crawls up behind you on its fingertips live a five-legged spider and latches onto your leg like a dead weight. Maybe it outright flies out of nowhere to smack your coffee on the ground and sucker punch you in the jaw. Maybe it just drops on you from overhead, like an anvil out of an old cartoon.

Either way, it's here, it's disruptive, and it's trying to hurt you, like a feral dog. ]

2. b. the extarminator [after 9/5]


[ By now, the posters have become nearly-illegible in the digitization process, but the arm is still on the loose. Right now, in fact, it's fighting off a few of the virus bugs trying to attack a few of the ex-Retrospeccer NPCs--perhaps ones who are particularly close to you.

(James is a few blocks away, completely unaware that his arm is currently leading its own crimefighting vigilante lifestyle.) ]

2. c. james vs an armada of mannequins [after 9/5]


[ James has managed to find his arm again and reattach it (at least for the moment) by the time he's made his way down the A1 tunnel and wandered into the museum of Recolle life past and recent-past. But now he finds himself surrounded by some of those former Retrospec friends who seem to have disappeared entirely. A robotic version of Ami manages to get a good swipe at him that forces him to fall hard on his shoulder--dislodging his arm again.

Now his arm is crawling off once again, punching other mannequins hard enough to send sparks flying (and leave the arm smoking dangerously). And James...well, James is now down an arm and doing his best to make up for it, but fighting back just gets him electrocuted. ]

Get any closer to me, and I'll turn you into a bucket of bolts!

[ Which is just talk, considering James is looking pretty cornered right now. ]

3. all the rockstars are doing it! [like mid-month or smth?]


[ The arm drama is finally over (for now. probably. maybe.), which is great, because now James is trying to be subtle.

...Which is how he can be found behind a dumpster near Recolle High and RU, hoisting his now-pixelated guitar over his head and smashing it down onto the ground in an unholy cacophany. A cat is probably yowling somewhere. Pixels fly off the edge of his guitar.

Do you dare try to get him to cease the racket? Or perhaps help him in his quest for distruction? ]

Comments

[liberal_arts]

-Boy did that just. look. Goofy. Kasen couldn't help being distracted by the sight of it, nearly long enough to end up on the bad end of one of the mannequin's electrified hands, his instincts saving him as he ducked under a haymaker blow, countering with two swift cuts that sliced the doll to pieces, and refocused himself on the others.-

Let us fight with elegance! If you are indeed tools, then allow me to honor you with a worthy death! -Kasen charged in, keeping his focus on the ones that tried to attack James first and foremost, pushing them back while he dealt with. that. arm. thing. so weird.-

[frostythehitman]

Oh my god, could you be any cornier?

[ Even when wrangling an arm, James still makes time to throw shade.

He squirms his way over to a wall so that he can wedge the arm between it and his left side, as he tries to line up the shoulders to reattach it. It is still trying to squirm away from him. ]

I promise you, if you just get attached to me, you can punch all the robots you want!

[ This is a lie and also, utterly fucking ridiculous. He can't believe he's talking to his own damn arm. ]

[liberal_arts]

Oh what's life without a little camp, James! -Kasen laughed, slicing up a few more robots. He had to admit, the dilemma James was having with his arm, a tool that was being belligerent, resonated with him in a strange way...-

You should treat your tools a little better, though.

[frostythehitman]

I'd treat it a lot better if it wasn't constantly trying to punch me and fry itself to death!

[liberal_arts]

Do you think it might do those things because you don't respect it? -What a strange conversation to be having mid-peril.-

[frostythehitman]

Why would I need to respect it? It's my arm, not my CO! If anything, it should be the one respecting me!

[ The arm manages to squirm out of its spot between James's body and a hard place and starts crawling back towards the mannequins. Not for long, though--James is quick to pounce on it again while the hand flails futilely. ]

[liberal_arts]

Someone who does not respect their tools will inevitably be failed by them. -Kasen sidestepped a charging mannequin, quickly removing its head and arms with two clean cuts.-

An artist should respect their brushes and treat them well, don't you agree?

[frostythehitman]

Treat them well? Sure. But respect them? No, man, they're just brushes.

And I treat my arm just fine, I'll have you know! It's just being a--a spoiled brat right now.

[ the arm squirms even more furiously in disagreement, eventually wriggling away from James entirely and drags itself over to one of the mannequins, latching onto its leg. After a few seconds, though, the arm starts smoking again and the smell of burnt metal begins to permeate the area. ]

See! It's got nothing to do with me not respecting it--it doesn't even respect itself!

[liberal_arts]

It is doing what it feels is its purpose. I cannot blame it, even if it means abusing its own form in the process. -Kasen shook his head, sighing. Another mannequin charged, once more casually cut down with a well placed cut. Kasen wasn't even breaking a sweat...-

[frostythehitman]

Alright, fine! Then if you're such a genius, how do you think I ought to get it to quit trying to fry itself?

[liberal_arts]

You work with it towards that purpose. Satisfy its warlust. [ Which wasn't really a helpful answer, he knew, but ]

If you work together, I'm sure it will be less likely to overwork itself.

[frostythehitman]

So you think I should just get violent for the sake of satisfying this stupid arm?

[liberal_arts]

You'll not find so excellent an opportunity as this one. A horde of soulless drones, simple machines instead of people. Surely there's no moral reason to avoid destroying them, is there?

[frostythehitman]

[ He doesn't want to admit that Kasen has a point here. ]

You mean aside from the bit where my arm fries itself every time it hits one of these things?

[liberal_arts]

It's only doing that because it's overworking itself. A tool and master once work as one in order to achieve true optimal performance.

[frostythehitman]

[ He gives Kasen a skeptical look. ]

I swear to god, if doing this gives my arm an insatiable bloodlust, I'm going to put you in its warpath next.

[ But fine, fine. He starts trying to get it attached back to his shoulder, muttering angrily at it as he goes to try and keep it from squirming away like an anxious pet. ]

[liberal_arts]

If that happens, I'll cut it off, myself. [ It's the least he could do. Or something. ]

[frostythehitman]

Uh, haven't you been paying attention? It can still squirm around and attack even when it isn't attached to me!

[liberal_arts]

Don't be pedantic. I can cut it more than once. I can slice it to pieces if I really need to.

[frostythehitman]

[ He gives Kasen a skeptical glance, but then decides, well, what does he have to lose, really?

He finally manages to finagle the shoulder joint of the arm onto his stump and clicks it into place. As soon as it's connected, the arm stops struggling and James is in full control of it, turning it around a few times and flexing the hand just to be sure. ]

...huh.

[ Then he punches the head clean off one of the mannequins.

It does shock him back, though, so he clutches his shoulder afterwards with a small cry of pain. ]

[liberal_arts]

Ah... It seems there are still some kinks to be worked out, then. That feedback looked pretty nasty.

[ He was at least 90% sure James was about to yell at him over it, too. ]

[frostythehitman]

Not feedback--that's just what the mannequins do whenever I hit them, metal arm or not!

The electricity just travels all the way up the arm to my shoulder, is all.

[ He hisses with pain between words, flexing the metal hand to make sure it's still functional. He knows this has nothing to do with the arm itself, or with anything Kasen suggested. It's his own damn fault for punching it, really. ]

[liberal_arts]

In that case, what we need is a means of insulating you.

[ Kasen leaned down, grabbing the edge of one of the floor mats near the 'exhibits', jerking it up in one motion and tossing it over to James. ]

[frostythehitman]

[ James catches it and, before he has a chance to think about how stupid this is gonna look, he wraps it around his fist and then as far as up the arm as he can manage. He secures the last piece of it just in time to punch a mannequin that rushed up to him.

Its head is knocked clean off, the neck sparking electricity, but his arm...actually doesn't hurt. ]

Well how about that!

[liberal_arts]

Ah, thank heaven for middle school science lessons, I suppose! [ Kasen chuckled, though also winced slightly. ]

But we... really need to find you something less ugly. That is deeply unsightly.