how many arm puns can i possibly cram in here

[frostythehitman]

WHO: James and YOU!
WHERE: throughout Recolle
WHEN: throughout the month, both before and after 9/5
WHAT: James's arm has gone rogue around the city and he needs help capturing it. Also, smashing guitars, fighting robo-mannequin-friends, and being a hot mess in general.
WARNINGS: extremely stupid antics



1. flyers may be old-school but they're still handy [before 9/5]


[ When you head out into the world on September 3rd, you may notice that a flyer has been posted on damn near every surface: electricity poles, street lamps, bus stops, probably the front door to your local coffee shop or apartment building or office. It's everywhere--often multiple posters in the same spot.

And if your timing is just right, you may notice one (1) James Barnes, wearing the older, bulkier version of his metallic arm, with what looks like an entire ream's worth of paper flyers, continuing to stick them on any flat surface in sight. In between posting flyers, though, you might hear James calling for the arm as if it's a lost pet. ]

Heeeere, arm-y, arm-y, arm...!

[ He's trying to keep quiet about that part, at least, because he recognizes how ridiculous he sounds. ]

2. a. it's a harmful armful [any time]


[ Or maybe you run into the arm before you ever run into James. It doesn't matter when, or where you are, because the arm is, for how conspicuous it is, deceptively sneaky. Maybe it silently crawls up behind you on its fingertips live a five-legged spider and latches onto your leg like a dead weight. Maybe it outright flies out of nowhere to smack your coffee on the ground and sucker punch you in the jaw. Maybe it just drops on you from overhead, like an anvil out of an old cartoon.

Either way, it's here, it's disruptive, and it's trying to hurt you, like a feral dog. ]

2. b. the extarminator [after 9/5]


[ By now, the posters have become nearly-illegible in the digitization process, but the arm is still on the loose. Right now, in fact, it's fighting off a few of the virus bugs trying to attack a few of the ex-Retrospeccer NPCs--perhaps ones who are particularly close to you.

(James is a few blocks away, completely unaware that his arm is currently leading its own crimefighting vigilante lifestyle.) ]

2. c. james vs an armada of mannequins [after 9/5]


[ James has managed to find his arm again and reattach it (at least for the moment) by the time he's made his way down the A1 tunnel and wandered into the museum of Recolle life past and recent-past. But now he finds himself surrounded by some of those former Retrospec friends who seem to have disappeared entirely. A robotic version of Ami manages to get a good swipe at him that forces him to fall hard on his shoulder--dislodging his arm again.

Now his arm is crawling off once again, punching other mannequins hard enough to send sparks flying (and leave the arm smoking dangerously). And James...well, James is now down an arm and doing his best to make up for it, but fighting back just gets him electrocuted. ]

Get any closer to me, and I'll turn you into a bucket of bolts!

[ Which is just talk, considering James is looking pretty cornered right now. ]

3. all the rockstars are doing it! [like mid-month or smth?]


[ The arm drama is finally over (for now. probably. maybe.), which is great, because now James is trying to be subtle.

...Which is how he can be found behind a dumpster near Recolle High and RU, hoisting his now-pixelated guitar over his head and smashing it down onto the ground in an unholy cacophany. A cat is probably yowling somewhere. Pixels fly off the edge of his guitar.

Do you dare try to get him to cease the racket? Or perhaps help him in his quest for distruction? ]

Comments

2a (and possibly part of b?)

[cardcaptured]

[What's more dangerous than a rogue robot arm going around being a nuisance to people?

A rogue robot arm going around being a nuisance to people with a sword.

And while maybe this was partially Xiaolang's fault for carrying it around all willy nilly these days (without NPCs to be freaked out over it, and all the bugs about, it just seemed like a good idea at the time), he's going to be responsible about it and make sure it doesn't do any damage...

... if he can catch it first, that is. For a dismembered metal limb, it moved WAY too quickly than it should.]

STOP--!

[frostythehitman]

[ The arm flies through the air sword-first, soaring right towards a tree. It slices off a branch, which then falls promptly on the car. It doesn't damage it, but it sure does set off the car alarm.

James is grateful for that, though, because the sound of the car alarm acts as a beacon. He doesn't know what he's looking for right now, so anything unusual is enough of a lead for him to follow. And right now, as he rounds the corner of the block to see the blaring car and the sword-wielding arm, that lead has come through.

He runs toward it--but not too close, because fuck getting sliced up by a sword. He is not about to get his other arm chopped off too, thanks. ]

Who gave it a sword?!

[cardcaptured]

[He flinches as he sees the severed branch collide with the car, terrified for a moment that there might have been something damaged, but-- nope, only damage here is his eardrums from that incessant wail of the alarm. As if he didn't have enough of a headache as it is...! He's about to pull a slip of paper from his pocket, to try to maybe electrocute it and stop it from moving, when James' sudden entrance pulls him up short. And for a moment, it all clicks-- duh, who else would have a robotic arm here? Not to mention one that wasn't converted to 8-bit technology?

Xiaolang opens his mouth, to try to get his attention and see what the hell was going on, but his exclamation gets him to sputter.]

I-I didn't GIVE it a-- it took it from me!

[He dances away from the blade as it swings towards him again, putting the vehicle between the two as he yells over the alarm.]

I thought you fixed your arm already!!

[AT LEAST, THAT'S WHAT HE ASSUMES.... John never contacted him back during the body swap, anyway.]

[frostythehitman]

It was working fine to begin with! At least until this happened!

[ He gestures at the arm. The forearm rises and the fist, still brandishing the sword, faces James first, then Xiaolang. Then James, then Xiaolang. As though it's looking back and forth between them and trying to decide where to go. ]

Why were you even carrying around a sword in the first place?!

[ The arm finally decides to fling itself at Xiaolang, blade first. ]

2a

[standalonehuman]

Togusa has, of course, seen the posters. How can he not? He didn't know it was possible to lose an item given by Retrospec, let alone one that is supposed to be connected to you, James. He is conflicted about making fun of James for it, but maybe it'll be funnier if he finds the arm first, and gives it back to him? Yeah.

Sure enough, a glint of chrome in the sunlight, and Togusa finds it at the mouth of an alleyway. A discarded arm casually left out on the pavement. Togusa shakes his head as he moves towards it.

"Why does everything seem to involve-"

And then the fucking arm MOVES. It springs up onto its fingers as if to run, and charges right at Togusa, who is too completely dumbfounded to actually move.

[frostythehitman]

The arm leaps up, straight for Togusa's head, and practically hovers in mid-air for a moment by his forehead. As much as the posters advertised violence, right now it doesn't seem interested in hurting Togusa.

Well, aside from a hearty flick to his temple. But it's more of a friendly, mischievous greeting than a genuine attempt to harm him.

Once it's flicked him, the arm settles on his shoulder, perched on its fingers with the forearm and bicep rising up nearly to their full height. It's like having a fifty pound parrot on your shoulder.

[standalonehuman]

Togusa flinches back, absolutely certain that he is about to get hit, but the arm inexplicably stops. Flick!

"Owww!" It smarts more than anything else, and Togusa casts the arm a dirty look. "Really!?"

"Hk!" Togusa lists to the side when the arm decides to hop on him. Whoa. Whoa! He puts a hand out to the building wall to steady himself. "Are we going for a ride now!?"

He pauses, coming back to that moment of self-awareness to know he is yelling at an arm. At James' arm. "If it turns out you're channeling your owner somehow, I'm gonna kick his ass," he grouses.

He reaches up to steady the arm and takes a tentative step, and another. Get this thing back to James, first. Figure out what the deal is, second. He snags his phone from his pocket while he tests out his balance.

2c

[liberal_arts]

-There was a flash, as well as a piercing sound that would ring in the ears of one was too close to it, before the mannequin approaching James fell apart, bisected across from shoulder to hip, falling apart to reveal Kasen standing behind it, sword drawn and with a bit of a smirk on his lips.-

I saw your flyers earlier... Care for a hand? -Oh shut up.-

[frostythehitman]

[ James scowls as mannequin nuts and bolts rain down on him. ]

Depends, are you gonna give me one of yours?

[ He's not actually mad at Kasen, and he does appreciate the save, he's just pissed that he dared encroach on James's pun territory. The only one who gets to make "give you a hand" jokes is the guy who can actually give people his hand, jackass!!!!

But really, he's got bigger fish to fry right now, so he gets back up. All he can do right now to fight without electrocuting himself is throw knives at the remaining mannequins, although he's notably going easy on the Ami one.

It's when he smells smoke coming off his arm (still fighting back against another mannequin a few feet away) that he turns his attention to it. ]

Okay, new top priority: stop my arm before it fries itself to death!

[liberal_arts]

I'll keep the enemy clear. You focus on retrieval. Sound like a plan? -See? He was... kind of getting better at this whole strategy thing. Either way, he was sure James would complain a lot less about cutting up killer robots than he had about the monsters they'd encountered before.-

1.

[royaldifficulties]

[ Bart is actually frowning at one of the fliers when he hears that particular call and turns around and. All right, left mechanical arm. Probably the flier and the youth are connected.

But... seriously? ]

It will attack?

[frostythehitman]

[ He turns around when he hears someone talking to him. ]

Well. Probably. I mean, it definitely attacked me.

[ He points at the photo on the flier of the arm mid-attack. ]

[royaldifficulties]

[ Listen, if his limb was attacking him, Bart wouldn't have thought to snap a picture. He was assuming that was some sort of photoshop. ]

Right. Any idea why it would do that? And where were you when it did that?

[ Beat. And then, because weird things are still new and the connection to the app ... he's working on it. ]

I'm sorry if the question sounds strange, but have you ever heard the name Retrospec?

2b

[blondferret]

[Derek is still walking through the city, trying to find the missing people, when to his horror he sees some virus bugs attacking a flickering image of Cumore. Derek quickly draws out his wand and starts to run towards the bugs.]

GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BASTARDS!

[When he gets closer he can also see this... mechanical arm that reminds him of something he's seen before He's not sure if it's also attacking or trying to help his friend. He didn't care. He points his wand at the bugs and bellows a spell.]

REDUCTO!

[One of the bugs his blasted away from his friend.]

[frostythehitman]

[ The arm practically flies away from the bugs at the sound of the spell--it seems to know what it does already. Once it's clear of the blast zone, it bends its elbow up to lift the hand up at a 90 degree angle and give Derek the middle finger. Don't steal its kills, jerkoff!! ]

[blondferret]

[Derek points his wand straight at the arm flipping him the bird and threatens it.]

I can aim for you next.

3

[unlightmusic]

[What is that noise...? Normally, Suzu would just let it be and shrink away at any sign of potential trouble, but... there was something familiar about that noise, albeit 8-bitty, though she can't quite put her finger on it. Thus, curiosity wins over her paranoia and she is gradually drawn to the source of the noise, within in a very sketchy alleyway.

Oh. It's that kid who saved her from data bugs before. Scratching her head contemplatively, she asks:]

... Is there a reason why you're doing that?

[Knowing others and formally being an edgy soul with a whole lotta anger issues, Suzu knew that was probably a more productive question than "What are you doing?" or just plain telling him to stop. Which she won't. In a way, she kind of Understands.]

[frostythehitman]

[ She catches him mid-thrash, and he freezes, arms arced over his head with the remnants of the guitar held in mid-air. ]

...What?

[ People rarely asks him why he does things--especially when he's in the middle of destroying them. Usually he just gets told to stop. ]

[unlightmusic]

[Maybe it's because she grew up surrounded by punks and neer-do-wells. Maybe it's because she was one in her past life. Whatever the case, even if she wasn't really the type in this life, she can understand. Coincidentally, in the back of her mind, a memory of Suzu Kuromori resurfaces, bashing a guitar against a wall, screaming in frothing rage about how no one understands her.

... Geez. How cringey. But in a way, it kind of helps give her some perspective on how to approach this kid. She folds her arms across her chest, tilting her head to the side slightly.]

Most people don't do anything without a reason to. And since you've tucked yourself in some dark corner here, it's definitely not like you're seeking attention. So? What's eating you so much that it's making you do that?

yakety sax intensifies | 2.A

[alitaba]

[ It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s..... an..... arm? James’s arm?? Futaba’s seen some weird shit since they’ve been on the network but this surely sits somewhere up there in between the cow tipping and killer french octopus chefs. It’s also after her like a bloodhound much to her intense displeasure. James, what the fuck. ]

Was this a random encounter?? Did we have to battle if our eyes met?!

[ Arms don’t have eyes, Futaba ]

[frostythehitman]

[ The arm does not respond. Instead, it leaps, trying to get a fistful of hair. ]

[alitaba]

[ She yelps, trying to not get caught in its metal trap. Not the hair!!!! She'll be trapped in its unloving embrace for the rest of her life. That's gonna be super awkward if James ever shows up for his wayward body part ]

No!!! Bad Arm!!

[ If she steps back slowly, maybe she can make a break for it with a distraction ]

1-ish/2a-ish??? but maybe i should also double up Natalia?

[matchbreaker]

[ ... Oh, that's a convenient flier. James Barnes. Elda does decide to look for the arm, but she more importantly now has a number she can use outside of Retrospec being down once the realization of what familial connection she did or didn't have with the boy has settled in.

... Ergo.

Ring ring. ]

[frostythehitman]

[ On the third ring, James picks up. ]

Hello?

[matchbreaker]

Hello! Uh, Bucky? Right? I remember the number but the name was different and- well, anyway. I think I might have a lead on the arm?

[ . . . Her memories are strange. ]