[open dreamdive] no longer human

[thesettingsun]

WHO: You!
WHERE: Shuji's subconscious.
WHEN: August 18.
WHAT: Dreamdiving!
WARNINGS: Depends on how the dive goes, but a likely one is suicide.

[Maybe you weren't even in line of sight of Shuji. Just about everyone has a reason to be out and about on a Saruday afternoon, and nobody wants their day interrupted by the ground falling out from under them. Maybe you don't even instantly recognize that the library entrance you fall into would be part of Shuji's subconscious and not anybody else's.

This is how things ended up for you today, unfortunately. Might as well take a look around and see if you can't spot the man himself.

Locations are in top-levels added as divers enter them.]

Comments

[thesettingsun]

[""Shuji""'s eyes go wide, and he jumps off the desk.]

What happened?!

[scythegun]

I don't know! We were talking and he suddenly collapsed! Does he have some sort of heart condition or...?

[He'll start heading back toward the door, you are coming, aren't you?]

[thesettingsun]

He doesn't - he can't.

[He takes a step forward and then stops.]

Why would you run all the way here, out of the infimary? ...You're not pulling a trick on me, are you?

[scythegun]

[He'll turn a bit at that, but he's still well outside the room, like he's waiting for Shuji to follow.]

Don't you trust me, Shuji? Why would I lie about something like this?

[...he's gonna owe Shuji so many apologies after this is over, but look, no one said Jaeger plays fair.]

[thesettingsun]

I don't know. But I know the Mista in my heart can't have a heart attack or anything that would make him collapse.

[''Shuji'' starts to sniffle. Dazai's always been good at crying on demand.]

Why would you betray my trust like that? You're cruel...

[scythegun]

Ah, and here I thought you'd try at least a little harder than that. Oh well, I suppose it can't be helped.

[He'll reenter the room, glancing at the shelf to see if he can spot a book Shuji might be in. He's not making any move for it just yet, but he is angling himself so he's in a better position to vault over the desk if he needs to.]

You're also fairly cruel for betraying my trust, ja? Why don't you properly introduce yourself?

[thesettingsun]

[The shelf has books that have nothing on the spines, and one that says 'Shuji Tsushima' on it.

Dazai's tears stop as quickly as they'd started.]

Don't blame me. It's his fault for pretending to be anything but Dazai Osamu.

[scythegun]

[There we go. Where's Dazai standing right now in relation to the book shelf?]

Oh dear, that's not a particularly nice mindset to have. But now I'm curious - you have Shuji's memories, ja? What do you think of the life he's been leading here?

[thesettingsun]

[Just about directly between Jaeger and the bookshelf, because nothing is ever easy.]

It's as pathetic as he is.

[scythegun]

[Nothing is ever easy... For now he won't do anything, at least.]

My, I didn't think you could hate a part of yourself so much!

[thesettingsun]

...have you met him?

[Dazai's twice as bad as Shuji, but Shuji's already pretty bad about the self-loathing sometimes!!]

[scythegun]

You're talking about him like he's supposed to be you, and yet you don't approve of his life here at all. What do you think will change if he becomes you?

[thesettingsun]

I'll be me, of course. There won't be an inferior copy of me running around with my face.

[scythegun]

Why is he inferior to you? What makes you so much better?

[thesettingsun]

I'm the original. Isn't that enough?

[scythegun]

Not at all. Honestly, it's not really fair to compare anyone here to their past lives, no matter how similar they might be. The memories and changes we've received from Retrospec are certainly pulling us closer to our past lives, but does that really mean that everything we've experienced in this life is meaningless?

Can you truly tell me you've felt nothing towards Shuji? His accomplishments, his failures, his friends and family... He's his own person, ja? He may be your reincarnation, but surely you can acknowledge that he's had a very different life than yours.

[thesettingsun]

[Jaeger is trying very hard, and this reasoning would probably work on somebody who was not a douchebag.

But it's Dazai, so.]

The further he is from me, the less reason I have to forgive him for taking my face and my name.

You should leave.

[scythegun]

He's not even using your name, though.

[...that's not the point, but listen.]

I have to wonder if you're jealous of him. His life certainly isn't perfect, but he's got a lot going for him. A wonderful boyfriend, caring friends, his writing... Not to mention his personality! He's quite charming!

[As he speaks he takes a few steps forward, just to be sure he's not close to the door. His grip on the briefcase is tight, but he's not transforming it.]

I doubt you were exactly the same while you were alive. Your life wasn't as nice, was it?

[thesettingsun]

[Dazai is a pen name so Shuji and Dazai still have the same legal name??

Dazai doesn't immediately respond, but he does immediately summon up his scythe when Jaeger starts to move closer.]

I've been remembered and he'll be forgotten. What else is there to be jealous of?

[scythegun]

[shhhh you're dazai and he's shuji, it's fine

Jaeger does stop, eyeing the scythe carefully as he weighs his options. He can't kill Dazai for a number of reasons, and fighting him isn't ideal. He doesn't know what Dazai is capable of and even though this is Shuji's heart, there's no telling just how strong Dazai might be here.]

Will he really be forgotten, though? Even if you argue that the people who are no longer on Retrospec might forget - a weak argument, might I add, since we don't know if they will or not - there's still the matter of those of us involved with Retrospec.

Perhaps some of us will eventually become our past lives. Again, we don't know if that will happen or not, but let's say it will. Do you really believe every single person involved with Retrospec will become the same as they were in their past lives? It's stupid to think they will, honestly.

There are those who are strong-willed, who are so separate from their past lives that there's simply no way they can ever be overtaken by their memories. There are those who have experiences so wildly different they can never imagine becoming the person they've remembered. And there are those - like Shuji - who simply don't ever want to become their past lives.

He's never going to become you. You wouldn't be this defensive otherwise.

[thesettingsun]

[So, while Jaeger may be right and Dazai's defensiveness stems largely from the fear that Shuji won't become here, pointing that out may not have been a great option.

Because while Jaeger doesn't want to kill Dazai, Dazai has absolutely no problem with swinging his scythe at Jaeger's chest. Shuji would be upset if Jaeger were hurt, but Dazai wouldn't be.]

[scythegun]

[That's exactly what he expected.

If there's one good thing about having Yeager's memories, it's that he knows how to transform his weapon quickly and efficiently - the shield form is only a little larger than the briefcase form, but he's able to bring it up in time to absorb the blunt of the blow. It's certainly not fun and his arm's going to hurt like hell for the duration he's here (and hopefully only while he's here??) but it prevents Dazai from hitting him.]

Good to know I was right!

[Another good thing about having Yeager's memories is that he knows how to fight with a scythe, and more importantly, he knows how heavy they are. They're not fast weapons, and while he knows Dazai is going to pursue him, he pulls back and puts just enough distance between the two of them to get some breathing room.

Dazai knows he won't fight him, because Dazai is a part of Shuji. Jaeger's certain of that. But he's also certain Dazai won't be expecting him to literally rush him and try to slam the shield into his chest to knock him off-balance.]

[thesettingsun]

[Scythes are not fast weapons, and even if Dazai has the benefit of no longer being human and being stronger and faster than he was in life, Jaeger's easily able to bash him with his shield before Dazai can make an effective follow-up attack.

Dazai was most definitely not expecting that. He stumbles back - but even while he's stumbling, he's still swinging his scythe, not able to aim properly but likely to hit somewhere Jaeger isn't blocking with his shield while he's too busy using it to attack. It's a reckless move that could easily result in Dazai hurting himself as much as Jaeger, but Dazai has never been very good at taking care of himself.]

[scythegun]

[With his shield being used as a means of attacking, Jaeger doesn't have any way of protecting himself against the scythe, but he figured that would probably happen. He's still human and still very susceptible to being injured, so when the scythe's blade catches him across the shoulder he winces. Thankfully it's not a particularly deep wound, but it has absolutely ruined his suit.

He takes that moment to try to sweep Dazai's legs out from under him though, because Jaeger is not exactly a sane person and inherited Yeager's ridiculous enthusiasm for battle. If he can buy himself a little more time he can grab that book.]

[thesettingsun]

[That suit sucked anyway.

Jaeger is a cheating cheater who cheats - which is to say that he successfully knocks Dazai off his feet, and while he's trying to get back up is a great time to grab the book.]