James "dumpster fire gijinka" Barnes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
frostythehitman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
recolle2018-06-10 06:45 pm
frostythehitman) wrote in recolle2018-06-10 06:45 pm
Entry tags:
every parent wants to see their child do well
WHO: James and YOU!
WHERE: all over the city
WHEN: all month long
WHAT: Catchall, including: grocery shopping devolving into food fights! Planting flowers in strangers' yards! Taming wild bears! And more! Plus some extra prompts I may add later in the month.
WARNINGS: x-treem teen stupidity, as always
A. APPRASSAGE - the only currency we need here is knowledge
[ James has set up a table on the RU campus with a sign hanging off the table edge that says KNOWLEDGE FOR KNOWLEDGE - free lessons. He sits behind it with his feet propped up on the surface, waiting for people to come by and take him up on the offer. Behind him is a gigantic piece of sheet metal hanging from what looks like a clothing rack on wheels. ]
B. CHATA - this ain't a scene it's a goddamn food fight
[ Signs seem to do the job pretty well. He stands outside the grocery store, trying to look more pleasant than antisocial for once. The eyeliner is gone, the hair is pulled back, and he's hiding the arm under a hoodie that is frankly too warm for this time of year. He's holding up a piece of poster paper that says
FREE GROCERY SHOPPING HELP
it's for charity
There is a crudely drawn apple, baguette, and carton of milk on the poster as well, looking for all the world like a blindfolded three year old drew it. ]
C. VIEA VILLAGE - guerilla gardener
[ Maybe you're just taking your dog out for a walk. Maybe you're running errands. Or maybe it's your own house that you hear rustling noises around. Either way, James is in someone's front yard, digging up dirt with his own bare hands (or, what passes for bare on his prosthetic arm) and jamming flowers into the holes before filling the dirt back in.
It's not an elegant job. The dirt mounds are lumpy and misshapen, the flowers stick out at odd angles, and some of them don't even look to be in very good shape. In fact, if one takes a closer look at the flowers before he plants them, they might even notice there's already big clumps of dirt attached to them at the base--these are flowers James has ripped up from the park and transported here for the sole purpose of jamming them into people's lawns. Without permission, of course. ]
D. ENPRISE - the bear whisperer
[ James isn't sure how he keeps ending up face to face with violent bears. This is his second time facing one--or, wait, is it his third? That he can't even keep track any more tells him already that it is Too Many.
The bear, however, doesn't give a shit about James's record. The bear wants only to wreck his shit and stay as far away as it can from the zoo exhibit it escaped from. But James has had it with these motherfucking bears in his motherfucking city.
Which is why he ends up charging at the thing, self-preservation be damned. ]
ALT. wildcard!
[ hit me up at![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
CaptainPlanette if there's anything else you wanna do that's not up there! ]
WHERE: all over the city
WHEN: all month long
WHAT: Catchall, including: grocery shopping devolving into food fights! Planting flowers in strangers' yards! Taming wild bears! And more! Plus some extra prompts I may add later in the month.
WARNINGS: x-treem teen stupidity, as always
A. APPRASSAGE - the only currency we need here is knowledge
[ James has set up a table on the RU campus with a sign hanging off the table edge that says KNOWLEDGE FOR KNOWLEDGE - free lessons. He sits behind it with his feet propped up on the surface, waiting for people to come by and take him up on the offer. Behind him is a gigantic piece of sheet metal hanging from what looks like a clothing rack on wheels. ]
B. CHATA - this ain't a scene it's a goddamn food fight
[ Signs seem to do the job pretty well. He stands outside the grocery store, trying to look more pleasant than antisocial for once. The eyeliner is gone, the hair is pulled back, and he's hiding the arm under a hoodie that is frankly too warm for this time of year. He's holding up a piece of poster paper that says
FREE GROCERY SHOPPING HELP
it's for charity
There is a crudely drawn apple, baguette, and carton of milk on the poster as well, looking for all the world like a blindfolded three year old drew it. ]
C. VIEA VILLAGE - guerilla gardener
[ Maybe you're just taking your dog out for a walk. Maybe you're running errands. Or maybe it's your own house that you hear rustling noises around. Either way, James is in someone's front yard, digging up dirt with his own bare hands (or, what passes for bare on his prosthetic arm) and jamming flowers into the holes before filling the dirt back in.
It's not an elegant job. The dirt mounds are lumpy and misshapen, the flowers stick out at odd angles, and some of them don't even look to be in very good shape. In fact, if one takes a closer look at the flowers before he plants them, they might even notice there's already big clumps of dirt attached to them at the base--these are flowers James has ripped up from the park and transported here for the sole purpose of jamming them into people's lawns. Without permission, of course. ]
D. ENPRISE - the bear whisperer
[ James isn't sure how he keeps ending up face to face with violent bears. This is his second time facing one--or, wait, is it his third? That he can't even keep track any more tells him already that it is Too Many.
The bear, however, doesn't give a shit about James's record. The bear wants only to wreck his shit and stay as far away as it can from the zoo exhibit it escaped from. But James has had it with these motherfucking bears in his motherfucking city.
Which is why he ends up charging at the thing, self-preservation be damned. ]
ALT. wildcard!
[ hit me up at
A
no subject
Well, whatever. James doesn't say anything at first, letting him read the sign and make a decision on his own. But then he starts looking confused and the silence stretches on a little too long, so he swings his feet off the table. ]
You gonna stand there all day?
no subject
[ It would not be the weirdest thing he's seen in the realm of Dramatics, for sure. Still, he continues his air of being unconvinced that this guy has any sort of Knowledge worth conveying to him. ]
no subject
Alright, the second one's close enough.
You can play it like an instrument.
[ He gives it a few knocks in a few separate places, playing out a quick little tune. ]
I can teach you, but only if you teach me something back. Retrospec stuff, you know the drill.
no subject
[ Then he puts his hands on his hips. ]
Just be straight with me. What are you after that's worth knocking around a makeshift percussion like you're cast in the local production of Stomp?
no subject
Do you actually look at the app? Or maybe you've noticed that everyone is missing except for us? Zee wrote up a whole explanation of stuff we're supposed to do to help fix the layers or whatever. One of the things was "teach someone a skill and have them teach you a skill." So that's what I'm doing. Excuse me if I want to see my family again.
B. Chata
So... how legit is that sign?
no subject
no subject
Here then...
[Derek takes his grocery list out of his pocket and hands it to James.]
Let's see how you do.
[The grocery list consists of: Milk, cream, bread, potatoes, carrots, eggs, linguine pasta, tea, fruit, mushrooms, chicken, OJ, IC, TP, aubergine, courgette]
no subject
"Fruit"? You can't just write "fruit" on your grocery list, dude, there's like 20 types of fruit in there.
no subject
no subject
Not like he's gonna point it out. He nonchalantly tries to swing the expensive fruit in alongside everything else and then shows Derek the list again as a distraction. ]
And what's IC supposed to be, huh?
[ Okay, well. It's partial distraction and partial genuine uncertainty. ]
no subject
Ice Cream. Make sure it is chocolate based. No nuts.
no subject
Well aren't you picky. Alright.
[ He makes his way through the aisles, grabbing the rest of Derek's shopping list, until he's finally in the ice cream aisle. After a few moments of deliberation, he selects a tub (one of the biggest ones they have, we don't half-ass anything here, friends) of chocolate ice cream with fudge chunks in it. He holds it up to show Derek. ]
There, that satisfy your ice cream needs?
no subject
OK, a half gallon will do. Also...
[Derek holds up the expensive fruit.]
What the hell is this?
no subject
It's a fruit. What else would it be?
no subject
What arse did THIS come out of?
[Rude Derek! Rude!]
no subject
A tree, probably. That is how most fruit works.
no subject
no subject
[ It wasn't a competition, but it is now, somehow. ]
no subject
Did you get everything on the list? If so we can check out. Then we can head to my place.
[Because where else would you eat a strange fruit? Here's guessing he's going to need a large knife or something to eat this fruit. Thus, the need for his kitchen.]
no subject
Yup, I got everything else. Let's do this.
[ He starts rolling the cart to the registers. ]
no subject
Help me put the the groceries in please, and then you can get in.
[Derek starts putting bags into his trunk.]
no subject
He walks over to the passenger side door and waits for Derek to unlock it. ]
We gonna go, or just stand here outside the car all day?
no subject
[Derek unlocks the car and gets in.]
[Fifteen minutes later they will find themselves at Derek's big ass new apartment. The fridge and freezer stuff are put away and Derek is looking for a knife to cut the strange fruit.]
Like, I don't even know if we should wash it... or more how to wash it...
no subject
[ James snaps a quick photo of the fruit, does some quick googling, then turns the screen around to Derek to show an article. ]
no subject
I'm aware the internet exists, yes.
[Derek scrolls through the article, does a quick scan of what he needs to know, and the places the phone back in James's hand.]
Seems easy enough.
[Derek grabs a chopping board and knife and places it on the counter. Grabbing one of the fruit and runs it under water to wash it and then places it on the chopping board. He lines up the knife with the fruit and start cutting down the middle of it. Takes him a bit due to the skin being thick, but eventually he cuts through the fruit.]
There. I cut it.
[Putt the knife down he grabs two spoons and offers one to James.]
Here ya go kid, lets find how this food tastes.
no subject
It...doesn't really taste like anything.
no subject
[Derek takes a spoonful of the fruit himself and puts it in his mouth. The consistency was similar to a kiwi but it tasted... like a flavorless pear...]
You're right... it kind of tastes like a pear... but the texture is sort of like a kiwi...
no subject
Well, that was anticlimactic.
no subject
[Derek take another spoonful of the fruit.]
You just had to choose the most expensive, flavorless fruit didn't you James?
no subject
no subject
Who knows. Perhaps where ever this fruit comes from it tastes way better. We probably get green one shipped to us and it never properly ripens, thus the lack of flavor.
D
... Oh, hell. That's his student.
Sorey, wearing a tank top, jeans, and sporting a sword, darts in to help with the bear situation. He's not sure what exactly he can do to help, actually. Maybe beat it unconscious? Scare it into going into the right direction?]
James!
[He's too far to stop his student from making a poor decision, so he does the next best thing. He tackles the bear from the other side and oofs as he almost goes bouncing off it. Sorey has fought dragons, elephants, and angry wizards; he has never tackled a 900 lb wall of muscle and fat.]
no subject
What the hell!
[ Unfortunately, the bear isn't as distracted as James is, and he came to a stop only a few feet short of the bear--well within its armspan range. It swipes down at him with its claws--something he is only able to dodge with a last minute tumble out of the way. When he scrambles back up to his feet, he shouts to Sorey: ]
What are you doing?!
no subject
I could ask you the same-- thing! Do you even have a weapon?! Whoa—
[That would be the sound of Sorey being thrown overhead like a bull rider, but he manages to land on his feet thanks to months of doing stupid shit like this. He adjusts his grip on his sword as the bear tries to decide which one to go after.]
How far are we from the zoo?
no subject
hydra'sbear's back like he's mounting it. ]Didn't need a weapon last time, don't need it this time!
[ Sucks that he doesn't have the full-control, combat-capable arm on right now, because all he can do is grasp at the bear's fur on the back of its neck with his good hand and try not to get bucked off like a cocky novice on a mechanical bull.
The bear is certainly doing his best to knock him off. ]
No idea where the zoo is! Look it up, I'll try and steer him!
[ If he stays on, that is. ]