recolle | coursing through your souls [closed]

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coursing through your souls [closed]

WHO: Lina and Rose Geteilt
WHERE: Rose's place
WHEN: 4/2
WHAT: No more dodging questions! Lina's excited to see what Rose's deal has been.
WARNINGS: Probably descriptions of body horror, and also probably swearing

[Lina's wearing her best casual, breezy outfit, long blue scarf and all, and has a box of a few small slices of homemade angel food cake with strawberry icing, and she's ready for this. this is the first time she's seen her sister in person in months, and she has to admit she's been curious the entire time. if it was her finally getting on the app that made Rose cave, it must be something that the app gave her that had been keeping her back, right?]

[well, there's no point in worrying any more about it, because in a few seconds she's going to find out and all her questions will be answered! she's sure it's not going to be remotely that bad. what could have happened to Rose that would be bad enough to lead to all this?]

[Lina knocks on Rose's door with excitement bristling her nerves. it's hard to stop herself from rocking on her tiptoes while she waits, and to get rid of some of this energy that's building up, she has to call out, too.]

Rose? It's your favorite sister!

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[You can't be a Geteilt unless you're suppressing every deeper issue until it's too late!!]

Together, huh? [She has her doubts about that personally, but in Lina's case, it's true enough. Her own relationship with Jasmine aside, she knows they'll all be here for Lina.] But alright, I think that's enough of that for now. Why don't you catch me up on what you've been up to?

[She takes a seat finally, smiling faintly. It's been a while since she's talked to her in general after all. Even if she'd never admit it, Rose appreciates knowing that her family's doing well.]

[right. Rose said she'd wanted to talk about this. even though Lina doesn't have a lot going on that's interesting, and her initial worries about how every single one of her sisters told her in some way or another that they wished she'd never gotten this app haven't blossomed into anything destructive yet.]

Well, I'm coming up on the end of this semester and I learned a lot of new, complicated techniques. [she already seems like she's relaxing.] I'm going to have Clover try one of my terrines to see how that works out—oh! And I think I'm finally making puff pastry consistently. I'll want your opinion on that, though.

[she feels like she's making actual progress, and she's really... really proud of herself for that.]

Everyone at the orphanage really likes the food I've been making for them, too. Their tastes are a little different, but I think they just appreciate that someone's willing to come in and help.

I bet. Can you imagine if there were people like you stopping by back when we were all there? [She probably would've grown up into a better person honestly, but she knows there's a time and place for her self-deprecating humor, and now's not one of them.] They must love you there.

And you know I'm never gonna say no to free food from you. [And free food in general, but anyways.] Just bring it over whenever you want. Knowing you though, I'm sure your puff pastry game is perfectly fine.

[It's really been a while since she's been able to talk to... Anyone like this. She almost feels nostalgic. This is supposed to be something easy they can talk about though, so she tries not to think too hard about it. But there's no denying the warmth and even slight pride in her voice. Rose may not have any real idea when it comes to cooking and baking, but if Lina sounds proud of herself for making progress, then she is too.]

[yeah. this is nice, to be able to talk to her older sister like nothing's really changed. she knows it's temporary, but she'll take what she can get while she can get it. if everything really is this serious... she doesn't know how much time she has to still be normal.]

I must be doing something right or they wouldn't keep asking me to come back! [she gives a small smile and a quiet giggle.] I'm thinking about working there full-time once I'm out of college next year. I think it'll really help all the kids there to have somebody who went through the system just like them. [remember optimism? remember how that's still a thing she has? weird.]

Of course, it doesn't have to be just me. They could look up to any of us like that. Like you! They can learn about how important it is to make your own family from you. [she knows she's glossing over a lot of very complicated things with that, but she's definitely speaking before she thinks—and she cuts herself off to correct herself.]

What I mean is that I wouldn't be who I am today if I weren't for you. I don't want to be Carmelina Cantor. [she says it with some exaggerated twisted expression on her face.] You made me a Geteilt and I'll always be proud to be a Geteilt.

[That makes one of us at least. To be fair, she doesn't know how the others feel about it. How did they all end up deciding to go with her last name? She can't remember anymore. Before she knew it, she made them all her sisters, her responsibility.

"Made them." This is more metaphorical, but maybe some things don't change even between lives.

Of course, she doesn't say any of that. At the end of the day, it makes her happy to hear Lina say that, even if it makes her just as sad, and she her smile widens despite it.]

You can be whoever you wanna be, I definitely won't be the one to argue on that. Although I gotta say, Lina Geteilt definitely sounds better than "Carmelina Cantor." [She says it back with just as much exaggeration.]

But if you do decide to work there full-time, I'm sure you'll do great there. Bet they'd even be happier at getting to keep you around all the time. [And here, her smile turns somewhat rueful.] I don't think I could be much help though. Actually, I'm pretty sure the staff would shoo me out the moment they saw me.

[She thinks they all but celebrated when she finally aged out. In some ways, she doesn't blame them; she was hell to have around as a kid, and she knows it. Still, it's no wonder she still doesn't like authority.]

Edited 2018-05-21 10:01 (UTC)

[she loves her adoptive parents just as much as she does her sisters. they've taught her a lot of things, they've given her the idea to one day unite all her sisters at seder, and they've helped her follow her dream to become a professional chef. but she's a Geteilt through and through, and hearing Rose give her "real" name the same tone she gave it herself gets a giggle before she listens to the rest.]

Maybe they would. [there's no laugh there; they probably would, for all of the reasons she knew she'd ignored.] But you'll be there in spirit. And if you want, and all this works out, I can keep you updated on everyone. I know I'm more the motherly type to all of the kids—[and she does interrupt herself with a small laugh there]—but I can still gossip about the adults like the sisters we are.

[she's trying her best to sound as scandalous as possible, and it's only partially performative. does she know whether it'll work? no idea. but she likes giving her sisters reasons to smile, and if it means acting a little silly like this, she'll do it.]

[There's a small huff of laughter, but it's there. She thinks Lina is too sweet to really gossip about the adults, knows that she'd hold back most of her own snide remarks even if Lina really tried. Her tongue's always been too sharp. But it's a funny thought all the same. It's nice, and don't they deserve to indulge in something nice while they can?]

Oh yeah, I'd love to hear all about that. [A pause, and then:] But y'know to those kids, you're gonna be one of the "adults" too.

Oh my gosh, I can't imagine what kind of stories they're telling about me.

[she can, but only because she's definitely overheard them a couple times. they're not at all grounded in reality, and thinking about them makes Lina smile much more genuinely. she feels comfortable right now, in the conversation and in the thoughts she's having, and it's almost enough to get her to forget that her sister has a flower growing from her face that probably means she's in constant pain.]

[well, that smile was short-lived.]

You know, Rose, I'm kind of surprised you're just letting me talk about the orphanage so much. [even though she hasn't really said much about it.] I didn't think you cared very much about what was happening there anymore. Is it just because it's important to me?

What, I like hearing about the kids at least. [Which is honestly true. She doesn't visit for a lot of reasons, but she does like to know if kids there now have it better than when they were all stuck there. With Lina coming by though, she imagines it has to be.] And if you come in with gossip about the rest of the workers, I'll be happy to hear about that part of the orphanage too.

[But yeah, the most important reason here is because it's important to Lina and she wants to talk about it. Shhh, don't call her out on being a secret softie for her family, okay!! (Even if everyone already knows.)]

[it's one of the worst-kept secrets of the Geteilts. for now. until Lina starts running her fucking mouth, but there's still a few weeks before that happens so it's probably fine.]

They might just like seeing me come around, but... they really do seem like they're better off these days. There's a lot more smiles and I always do my best to make sure their faces are as full as their stomachs. [she could make something that's fast and fills stomachs but isn't very nutritious, but why would she? she always, always, always has the time to make sure the orphans are well-fed. oh, she's smiling again! that's good, at least.]

Maybe I can start telling them stories about my cool, confident big sister. I'll just have to pick the ones that are actually appropriate for them to hear about. [she closes her eyes while still smiling and gives a tiny giggle.] That's going to be the hardest part.

[There's something desperately reassuring to know that Rose can still make Lina smile. Maybe this is kind of cheating when this little sister in particular is easy to please, but she'll take what she can get at this point. In her mind, this is probably as close as she'll ever get to making her family happy.]

Do you have any stories that would be appropriate for them to hear? [GOSH ROSE DON'T BE PROUD OF YOUR DELINQUENCY. But she smiles wider, obviously having a bit of fun.]

[don't worry, Rose's inner thoughts, this is why Lina's here to make everything better and bring the whole family back together and definitely not drive any spikes even deeper between anybody.]

Hmm... [and she'll make a little show of trying to think of something appropriate, including the classic sight gag of thinking that she's got something, raising a finger, and then immediately lowering it and muttering "no, that won't work" or something along those lines.]

Well, some of what you've done could work for the older ones, at least. [she'll have to take the loss on this, even though she knew she'd be coming up empty when she proposed it.] Maybe I could adapt some of all our stories for them? I don't know. I can figure it out. The important part is that they have something there to help them out. Like you were for us.

So basically, you got nothing. [Naturally though, she's not offended about that. If anything, it's just the opposite.] Maybe just use stories about me if any of 'em try to act out of line, scare them back into good behavior.

But they do have you there for them, so I doubt you'll have to worry about that anyways. [She's sure Lina will do better with them than she ever did for her sisters.]

Oh my gosh, I'm not going to turn my sister into a bogeyman!

[but the very idea gets a powerful giggle from her, the kind that she can't even stifle by putting her hands up in front of her mouth, and there's lightness in her chest again that she's so glad found its way back there.]

Oh my gosh. Yeah. I think they're all going to be okay. But you know, I learned a lot of what I did about surviving from you, so you should take some credit for this even if you aren't there. [eh, it might be a stretch, but she just wants Rose to know how important she thinks she is!] You don't give yourself enough credit for things anyway.

I dunno, I think I'd make a pretty big bogeyman... [She says it like a joke, but we all know she really wouldn't mind being turned into that for those kids in the least smh.

But at that, she shrugs, easy and casual. Even if she's grateful to hear it in words, she didn't do enough as far as she's concerned. Sure, she might know objectively that there was no way for her to do more at the time, but objectivity doesn't change how she feels about it even after all these years.]

I just did what I could. Besides, you guys're all taking care of yourselves just fine now.

[and Lina would absolutely sell that story. picture it! Rose with—oh, um, actually, don't picture some sort of monstrous version of Rose. picture a happy family where nothing goes wrong instead.]

Maybe that was all it felt like for you, but what you could do was so much more than anybody else was willing to do for us. And I know none of us are ever going to forget it. Even Jasmine, no matter how much she might want to. [her tone is a little more somber now, but how else can she talk about Jasmine? maybe she'll just try to shake it off a little by bringing the whole family into it again.]

Even though I don't know what's going to happen next, I'm really happy that I get to keep talking to you and Clover and Jasmine while it happens. [and that they can solve this together. all of them. she looks down at her hands, now folded in her lap, and glances upwards with just her eyes. there's a tiny, reserved smile on her face.]

I'm sorry. I know that's a lot.

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coursing through your souls [closed]

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