OPEN POST ♞ I'M A KITTY CAT AND I DANCE DANCE DANCE

[tarotcards]

WHO: Souji Narukami, his 12 cats, and everyone else
WHERE: His extremely haunted and probably in need of animal control's attention house
WHEN: 03/15
WHAT: Souji tries to pretend that it's not his birthday (it's technically not, it's five days in advance) and says that it's his cat's birthday instead. A party where anyone and everyone is invited to Die
WARNINGS: Dumb kids doing dumb things

ONE

Throughout the entire city, you might find flyers stuck up on walls and pillars. Each one has the following drawing, message, and address on them:

"COME CELPURRATE CREAM-SAN'S FANGTASTIC BIRTHDAY PAWTY OF THE YEAR. FUREE FOOD AND DRINKS, I'M NOT KITTEN YOU. BRING YOUR PAWSITIVE CATITUDE (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)✧"

Yeah, that's... that's about it. Below the message contains an address and reiterates that everyone and anyone is invited. Well, free food and drinks, who could really turn that down? Even if it seems like this is a party for furries and is celebrating a cat's birthday, how bad could it be?

Well, the front lawn has a random plastic kiddie pool so maybe that is enough of a warning, but upon entering, it's really not as bad as it seems. Sure, you're going to have to put on these headbands with cat-ears on them and you may need to have a nametag with your name as a cat pun but asides from that, the free food and drinks are there as said in the flyers. Nearly all the food is cat-shaped if it could be helped, from paw-shaped cookies to a cat-shaped cat, but there are normal things too. You know, spiked punch and some poor unfortunate soul who is stuck on the grill to hand burgers or hot dogs. All the good stuff.

Over in the corner of the kitchen through is a mysterious little table that has the sign "TRY IT... IF YOU DARE..." taped onto it. On the table are little plates of... peculiar dishes: a bowl of some mysterious meat that gives off quite a foul smell, cups of coffee so thick that it might as well be sludge and gives off purple smoke (thanks, Elliot), crackers with cat tuna smeared onto them, and little bowls of nothing but pure wasabi in them. It looks like this is a table only for those with a brave heart and an iron stomach so increase your courage here or just stick to the safer foods around the kitchen.

Souji isn't responsible for any deaths or injuries.

TWO

Asides from the foods, you might want to try the random games around the house. There are your usual friendship-ruining games such as Marco Party, Marco Kart, or Monopoly but if you like to keep your friends for another day, you can go play with the twelve cats or fox that Souji apparently has at his house. You can also go over and pay respect to the birthday girl, Cream-san, who is chilling on a chair and is wearing both a birthday crown and cape. She will accept gifts in forms of head pats and belly rubs, but if you're not feeling that, you could also go outside and chill in that tiny plastic kiddie pool. Sure, you might have to be crossing your legs or putting them on top of another person's if you want to share the pool but it'd be a good bonding experience.

You know what else is a good bonding experience?

Water balloon fights. Who cares if it's early spring and that it's still a little chilly? That you could probably catch a cold and freeze out here if you're wet? This all builds character so grab those water balloons and make some new friends by flinging it at someone's face. That's how all friendships start.

THREE

Did you know that this house is haunted? That's right, it has its very own resident ghost all the way in the basement. Some shabby signs around the house encourage for people to head downstairs where it looks like it's the meeting room of some cult. The lights are turned off and the only things that light up the basement are the candles placed around on tables. There is a TV in the corner that shows off nothing but static and lets out a high pitch sound.

In the centre of the room is a plain table with two chairs, one on each side. On the table is an ouija board and a note on it that reads:

"SPEAK TO THE DEAD. THE DEAD WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ATE YOUR VEGGIES AND WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF COOKIES ARE."

Yeah, the resident ghost of the house is an old grandma who just wants to make sure that the kids are eating properly and wants to share her amazing cookie recipes with you. She also has a dead ghost cat named Mittens who will also probably take over the ouija board and knock it over like the good cat that she is. Even in the dead, cats will love knocking shit over.

FOUR

If you head out to the backyard to get some fresh air, there's... well, there's really no way to explain this but just saying that there is a dragon just chilling out there. There is yet another sign hung around its neck:

"SIT IN MY MOUTH AND TAKE A PHOTO. 80% GUARANTEE THAT IT'LL BE SAFE. 0% GUARANTEE YOU'LL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE ROSES. CALL SOUJI IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT MONSTER TO TERRORIZE YOUR LIFE."

So yeah, this is just... a photo booth where you can take pictures of seemingly being eaten by a dragon, getting lifted into the air by a fire demon, chased by a mummy with a knife, nearly getting stabbed by a bancho god, or just chilling with whatever the hell this thing is. It's nice to abuse your Personas for mundane things.

Comments

[compendiem]

[ Yes he is and no there isn't. Minato looks up at Souji, and slowly shifts his arms so that they're no longer clasped over his stomach but instead they're floating out on either side of him to take up even more space. ]

Nope, sorry. There's hardly room for one.

[tarotcards]

I don't know. I think I can still fit in.

[ what is minato going to do when souji moves a hand and tries to squeeze it in an "open" spot ]

[compendiem]

[ He's going to lift a wet foot up and press it against Souji's cheek. ]

There's no space.

[tarotcards]

[ does minato want his foot to get bitten because that's how you get your foot bitten ]

You won't know until we try.

[compendiem]

[ Minato gets his foot bitten and spares Souji just this one time of kicking him in the face because he doesn't need blood in his pool water. ]

Some things in life are inevitable, like death and single-person capacity pools.

[tarotcards]

[ do you want minato to actually get his foot bitten because we could make this a thing ]

What if we lie on our sides? That should free up space.

[compendiem]

[ Yes it's a thing and I hope Souji likes the taste of grass and dirt and feet. ]

Can't fall asleep on my side without crushing my arm.

[ But he shifts anyways, because there's no way he can hold that position with his leg up in the air. ]

[tarotcards]

[ souji was about to say something about how he'll get a pillow or something to put under minato's arm so he could sleep on his side properly but a perfect storm is brewing. souji's mouth is open, minato shifts his leg, shirosaba-san comes out of nowhere to jump on souji's back making him lean forward, it's bad. it's really bad because ]

[ it leads to souji biting minato's foot, probably slightly hard because he's falling and he's falling on his face and minato's foot is in his mouth. this is the worst, he hates grass and dirt and feet ]

[compendiem]

[ Just a bite wouldn't have been so bad, but Souji falling means he drives his teeth into Minato's toes and Minato's definitely moving now, trying to get out of the way but it's damned near impossible to get out of the water when the ground is slick and your limbs feel like concrete and Souji's already already pinning him down.

He doesn't even make it halfway out of the pool, the hard plastic edge jutting into his stomach as he makes his bid for freedom and fails to make it. ]

[tarotcards]

[ the taste of everything gross is in his mouth, he feels the wet grass and dirt staining his clothes, his face is probably really awkwardly pinning minato's leg to the ground, and shirosaba-san is still on his back like the little asshole he is. it's terrible and the worst and souji absolutely regrets everything ]

[ the funny thing is that everything moves in slow-motion as it starts from souji biting minato's toe and then he starts falling, but the moment the fall is over... it's back to regular speed like his brain isn't giving him the chance to scream for 2928101 years before he has to deal with the consequences. it's like no, deal with your shit right now and as soon as things return to normal speed, souji unhinges his mouth from minato's poor toe and barely pushes himself up. ]

A-Are you all right...?

[compendiem]

I just had my toe amputated, but otherwise I'm fine. How's your teeth?

[ Did he break anything on his toe? Which side won out in the end??

Minato's pretty sure it's his toe, because it's throbbing like all hell, just like the grass burns on his forearms where he'd skidded into the ground. He does his first push up in his life in order to get off the ground without actually getting up, and twists his spine to survey the damages.

His toe is intact. Good. Souji is dead. Good. There's a cat on his back. Why. ]

[tarotcards]

My stomach might be made of iron but I cannot say the same for my teeth.

[ he says dramatically as he presses the back of his hand to his mouth. souji should have been the one to take drama classes in high school rather than yu. anyway, a cat on the back is a good thing. it should never be questioned ]

Come inside? I'll get you tea, new clothes, and heal you up.

[compendiem]

[ Souji doesn't need drama class; he's dramatic enough as it is. Minato's a quieter sort of dramatic, the louder parts being something people rarely draw out of him, unless they're Souji and Minato's battling for his life.

Minato shakes his hands off and reaches up to pick up the cat. ]

I don't need healing. But I'll take your tea, and your clothes.

[ Souji will never get his clothes back, fyi. ]

[tarotcards]

[ shirosaba-san lets out a big mwahhhh as minato picks him up. also, hey, don't you think souji has forgotten that minato has taken his shirt in that other thread we have where he just got souji's shirt. timelines (waves hands) ]

Am I going to ever see my clothes again?

[compendiem]

Probably. I'll wear them around sometimes.

[ He'll see them but he won't get them back ]

[tarotcards]

I'm glad. Then I don't really have to say goodbye for good.

[ but he'll start leading minato back into the house. does minato want to follow souji upstairs to his room or would he rather wait downstairs for souji to bring clothes ]

[compendiem]

[ Of course Minato follows Souji upstairs to his room and dribbles water all over the house and up the stairs and starts puddling water right in the middle of Souji's bedroom the longer it takes for him to rifle through his closet. ]

[tarotcards]

[ why is minato trying to destroy everything that souji loves and holds dear to him but souji goes through his clothes, trying to find something that might fit minato. he'll pull out this shirt after a bit of digging. ]

How's this?

[compendiem]

[ This is probably the wrong sort of "fit," Souji. ]

Hmm. I don't want to endorse feeding cats junk food. Do you have anything in green?

[tarotcards]

[ nonsense. it'd look great on minato. souji will put down the shirt on his bed as he goes through his dresser once more, pulling out this one next ]

This is partially green.

[compendiem]

[ Slightly better, but Minato ends up staring wordlessly into the cat's mesmerizing eyes for a moment before he realizes he never replied. ]

Actually, I think I'll just take your comforter.

[ Just wrap it around himself like a toga or something, idk ]

[tarotcards]

I'm going to need my comforter back, though.

[ he can say goodbye to some of his clothes but not his comforter :( ]

[compendiem]

[ Well, that's a problem, isn't it? Minato thinks for a second, and then decides on this: ]

I'll stay here with your comforter.

[tarotcards]

[ well, he guesses that works though there might not be too much to do up in his room ]

You should at least get changed out of your wet clothes.

[compendiem]

[ It's not as wet, now, seeing as a lot of it is currently getting soaked up by Souji's bedroom floor, but that's a fair request. ]

Can you go stand guard outside the door?