hairstroke: (★ that can’t be concealed)
Leon Zhong | ᴉnɥ ƃuoɥz ([personal profile] hairstroke) wrote in [community profile] recolle2018-02-16 12:00 am

( CLOSED ) | How can I answer my heart?

WHO: Mio Sonozaki & Leon Zhong
WHERE: Starting at Leon's apartment then a fancy hotel!
WHEN: 2/15
WHAT: Late Valentines Day date that starts off with pain
WARNINGS: Mentions of suicide. I'll edit in case anything else pops up!

[ They had twenty four hours for themselves. Admittedly, Leon was surprised when they were granted this day. It did kind of (actually majorly) frustrate him that they were stuck in the pits of hell for Valentines Day, but he made certain to make it up to his girlfriend. She deserved that much because he loved her and she's been through so much.

As much as he wanted to take her out starting early in the morning, he figured they both needed some time to do their own things. Leon spent the beginning of the day restocking on supplies and checking up on Jasmine. Being away from his dog princess was heartbreaking but he fully trusted her in the care of Sakura. By the time he was finished tending to everything he needed to do, it was a little late in the afternoon.

With the hotel room booked and all the presents gathered, everything was set! He also made sure that he was well dressed for this occasion. The last thing he needed to do was pick up the girl.

...

A sigh passes through his lips as he finishes straightening his tie. Mio's gone through so much and he was fully aware that she was suffering. But there wasn't a damn thing he could do to prevent any of this from happening. He closes his eyes and sits down on his bed, covering his face while looking defeated.

He's never felt this powerless before in his life. ]

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-17 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Her face is even redder now that he's said that he's booked a hotel and her thoughts swap from something that's unnerving to something that's a little more flustered.

'A- A hotel room?! Wait, wait, wait, this is way too fast... what does he plan on doing, he's not going to try that this soon, right? And we're even going back to that hell tomorrow! I mean, I don't mind, it makes me really happy, but my heart isn't ready for something like that!!'

Oh my god. ]


Okay, okay... I mean, I should probably change anyway, it's really cold outside.

[ A finger twirls around a strand of green hair, just a little bit nervous. ]

I need to grab my stuff, but I'm already packed, so I just need to get properly dressed. Thank you for coming, by the way.

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-17 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Ah-

[ Her words pause almost immediately because she's shocked that those thoughts were heard. It makes her heart race and she almost wants to bury herself as he takes her hand, lacing their fingers together. She squeezes his hand tight and smiles rather proudly, pleased but embarrassed. ]

Sorry, sorry... I was just really surprised. I didn't think you'd go as far as to rent a hotel room just for a simple reason like that.

[ She says 'simple' with hints of adoration and affection, but what makes the blush spread from her cheeks to her ears is when he says those few words in her native tongue, causing her expression to become rather dumbstruck. ]

Idiot... [ Mio murmurs those words, soft. Warm. There's clear love in them, too. ] Now you're being an embarrassing romantic. But.

[ If he's going to do that, she only has to repay the favor, doesn't she? So she stays close to him, clearing her throat as she whispers soft words in his ear, in his own native tongue. ]

Even if I had feelings for someone else as 'Shion'... I think we were meant to be together. I don't have words to describe how much I love you. But as long as you stay with me, I'll be happy. I love you. I really do. So please, love me more than anybody else ever could.

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-18 04:40 am (UTC)(link)
"Anything", huh...

[ Her voice is soft, but she can't help that her heart's racing quickly when he's saying those words of his. It's the most embarrassing thing he's ever said, but she can't help but be happy about it. Maybe this is what it's like to be truly happy.

Because she wasn't happy in her last life...

That she made so many mistakes......

This is what she gets in return? She's happy, but at the same time--

'Do I really deserve this?' ]


Alright. Let's go quickly, then. [ Mio squeezes his hand tightly before walking back inside and into her room. ]

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-18 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
You're turning your back on me...? What, you don't want to watch? This might be your once in a lifetime chance to, you know.

[ She's joking of course, but she'll easily strip down, the sounds of clothes shuffling as she puts on something nice just for him; it doesn't take too long, though before she calls back to him. ]

I'm done now, so you can look. I have a jacket that I can put over it since it's cold, and I have extra clothes in my backpack, too, just in case.

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-18 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
... thanks.

[ She's blushing hard, primarily out of embarrassment at that compliment, although she doesn't know how to feel, being compared to a doll. ]

Anyway, I'll grab my things. And a jacket. [ Which she'll go ahead and open the closet to grab a matching green jacket along with her backpack full of what she believes she'll need for going back to hell. When she's ready, she'll walk her way towards him grabbing his hand with a smile. ] Let's go?

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-19 04:43 am (UTC)(link)
[ When he grabs her hand and leads her to his car; she can't help but feel happy about to enter. But after he says those words she finds herself freezing up. Something manages to slip in for that moment that causes her to think--

'Not now. I don't want to remember something now!'

She spaces out so much that she doesn't even enter just yet or even say a single word. ]

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-19 05:21 am (UTC)(link)
Can we... not talk about it right now?

[ Her voice shakes slightly as she closes her eyes and shakes her head. There's a part of her that wants to pull him into her arms and hold him close, but she stops herself. ]

Let's go to the hotel first, though. Then... I'll tell you. You don't mind that, do you?

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-19 07:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ Mio really does appreciate it, more than anything else in the world. And she definitely wouldn't want anyone to find out what she's talking about, especially when a lot of her own memories dealt with heavy topics.

Nevertheless, she gets into the car and the entire time she's. Eerily silent, as if she doesn't know what to say during those twenty minutes.

So she's just left with her thoughts. And none of them are pretty.

'I tried to kill myself before. But that's not a surprise, since I said that I needed to find a way to die. But... now I understand that memory now, too. I wanted to die because I sinned. I killed many people, didn't I? Even my sister.

The "me" in my memories... did all of this for Satoshi-kun. I was desperate. I wanted him to love me. But I made a mistake.

But that memory... I wanted to die to join him. Because I was left behind. I was alone. It hurt to feel abandoned. Knowing about these feelings terrifies me. And there's so many other things that scare me.

I'm scared that maybe someday I'll find out that all my memories before I got the application were all fake. But, I like the "me" right now more than anything. And I like Leon so much too, that's why I'm scared of what might happen if we do find out the truth about everything.

I just want to love Leon. Why are my memories making it so hard for me to do even that?'


But eventually she's snapped out of that as she's guided inside, and honestly? She's in awe - she can't help but gasp in amazement as she smiles at him, but it's a little sadder than usual. ]


The top floor, huh? So you must have gotten a really expensive room just for one day... I'm really honored that you'd do all of this for me.
Edited (i missed a pronoun) 2018-02-19 23:31 (UTC)

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-19 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
"Not bad"?

[ Mio raises a brow, looking at him as if none of those thoughts in her head were there to begin with. She can't help but smile rather proudly as she takes off her shoes near the entrance of the room before taking her bag off to put it into the closet before hopping into the bed, laying down and staring at the ceiling. ]

This is so nice, Leon. I'm happy. Honestly, I wouldn't mind living here. Well... if there was a kitchen, it'd be perfect.

[ Since she likes to cook, alright? She pats the side of the bed. ] Hey, you should join me here so we can talk.
Edited 2018-02-19 23:48 (UTC)

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-20 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
[ Even though he tells her that he's ready to listen to her and that she should be sharing what's on her mind, there's something that she has to ask. If only because while he's trying not to worry her, she's still going to worry nevertheless. ]

What were you thinking about, by the way? [ But she gets that his standards are high. Mio's standards, on the other hand, aren't as high as his. Rolling over to her side, she smiles at him. ] I'm a little... curious.

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-20 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ Mio's pretty insightful, and the fact that he let those words slip so easily makes it even easier for her. But she sighs, going 'oh'. She didn't want him to know about her dark feelings, but since it's out in the open... ]

... I see. Are you mad, Leon? It's pretty weird, honestly. A lot of my memories are tied to Satoshi-kun, [ she says it with the honorific because it feels natural, even as she's speaking in English, pulling her legs closer to her chest. ] but that's probably because I loved him. No, I definitely did.

[ But there's something about the way she says it that seems sad, melancholic. A touch regretful. She's using past tense, though. ]

Um... don't tell Xiaolang about this, but. While we were going down the ladder, I remembered two things. I'm concerned that he might be worried about me because I kind of froze up in the middle of it, though. I can't tell him what I remembered. The first memory was me, talking to my younger sister.

I said horrible things. That I didn't kill her friend [ she's pretty sure she knows who 'Kei-chan' is referring to, after all, and it's here when she swallows hard. ] so I could kill her, instead. I think I came up with some sort of plan where my sister would be disguised as me when I pushed her off, so everyone would think that she's......

[ She's finding it difficult to say. At least, while looking at him. So she immediately casts her gaze towards the ceiling. ]

So everyone would think that she was the serial killer that I actually was. And even though she was crying at me, even though she was begging me not to kill her, I pushed her anyway. Ahaha, I'm cruel, aren't I? Killing my own sister. It's disgusting.

[ Her hands tremble, and the laugh she made was cruel, but there was something about it that seems... almost hollow. ]

The moment I fell down the ladder and managed to catch myself after the fall... I remembered something else. I... [ She interlaces her fingers together, tight. And she then looks at him straight in the eyes, tears already trickling from the edges. ] I died. I remember dying.

[ ... ]

And the last thing I recalled, just now. I... was planning on killing myself. I wanted to jump into the well because if I did that, I would be able to join Satoshi-kun. Because I was left behind. I don't really know... what I meant by that, but I think I was probably living by myself, away from my sister, and the rest of my family. Because there's no way I'd say that I'm lonely if I was living with them, right?

Um, so...... what do you think? About all that?

this deserves a fucking trophy, also i think i might just match it.

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-20 07:07 am (UTC)(link)
[ If the question is whether or not she would fully recall Shion's feelings or not... the problem with that is, she kind of does understand them, at least a little bit. Those conversations she had with her sister, the way he said that he liked her name, liked 'Shion'...

But there's still things she doesn't recall. She remembers her feelings, her sister talking to her all night about Satoshi as she asked questions about him. About how she pitted revenge for him. That she killed people for him.

It's because of that, however, that she wounded up dead, she's sure. She doesn't want to make that same mistake again. Which is why she promises herself that she won't. That she'll be the happiest in this life. It's probably what her past self would have wanted, right?

Lips part slightly when he finally rolls on his side on the bed, his hand on top of her trembling ones. It's that warmth and comfort that allows her to relax, just a little bit. Her lips quirk upwards into a smile. One that's full of so much emotion that she can't exactly place it into words. They're sad, but happy at the same time. Relieved, yet completely and utterly terrified.

But it's all fine, really. Especially when he runs his fingers through her hair. ]


I know. [ Her words are soft and she buries her face in his shoulder so he can't see her shed more tears. Even if he can feel them, all the same. ] I know we talk about these as our past lives, but... what if they're not, Leon?

[ It hurts to say those words, but she can't help but wrap her arms around him tight. Almost too tight that it's probably painful. It's surprising sometimes, just how strong her small body is. ]

What if they're our memories, as they are? That means any innocence doesn't matter, because I've already sinned. I killed, and killed, and killed... all for nothing in the end... I'm a horrible monster. A demon.

[ Yeah, that's right. She called herself that before, didn't she? She remembers the thoughts that she had, back then.

'Shion begs with tears in her eyes.

That would have affected me if I was still Shion's sister.
But I don't feel anything now because I am a demon.'


She feels so much self loathing for herself that she wants to die. It makes her almost sick to her stomach. So when he say that she's made people happy, that she's smart and kind, and charming, and that she has people who care about her, she's crying for a completely different reason altogether. And she lifts her head to look at him, to see his expression. ]


My parents, huh... they don't even know the real Mio Sonozaki at all... But then again, how could they, if I don't even know?

[ It's already so hard to separate her own self. And now with the whole Shion and Mion business, it's even harder. ]

The way I died was pitiful. But it was a death I deserved.

[ Her words turn as cold as ice as her expression hardens. It was a pitiful thing. It was the best way to get rid of the demon. ]

But. Leon. I... [...] If everything before this application isn't real, and that my memories aren't real, then how can I say that any of my feelings are real?!

[ Shit. She didn't mean to burst out like that with watery eyes, but it's happening regardless. ]

I didn't start loving you when I had the application. I've loved you even before then, so-- so--!

[ Her expression is written with terror and she's scared of herself. Of her thoughts, her feelings and she feels like her heart is about to split into pieces, shattering like glass. ]

Please, Leon... make me love you more. Make me love you more than anyone else. Let me fall in love with you more now. That's okay to ask, isn't it?
Edited 2018-02-20 07:08 (UTC)

puts a trophy on this thread

[personal profile] promisedyou 2018-02-21 07:32 am (UTC)(link)
[ A second chance...

Yeah, maybe he's right about that. It's something that Shion wanted, after all. She remembers that much, now. That she wanted to redo her life, that she wouldn't make the same exact mistakes that she did. That she'd live a happier life. She closes her eyes for a moment as she relaxes in his touch and listens to his words carefully.

The touch of fingers on her hair is comforting. She loves it so much, when he touches her like this.

Has anybody touched her like this before...? Ah, that's right. She remembers, a little. Not the situation itself, but Shion had thought about it before, hadn't she?

'I don't remember it, but... Satoshi-kun stroked me on the head before, probably... that's what I thought before, right? That I fell in love with Satoshi-kun because he had his fingers on my hair. It's a little selfish of me, but I want to know if Leon's better at it than he is. Ahaha, if he heard all of this in spite of me not wanting him to, I bet he'd probably compete for some sort of weird headpatting competition to make sure that he's better.'

Mio, please. Eventually she opens her eyes and pulls away to look at him directly. They're still red and a bit poofy, but she totally understands. She swallows hard and glances away, a little hesitant. ]


Even if that means telling them I don't want to be the heir anymore?

[ There's only one person that she's vaguely talked to this about, and that's her sister, Kotone. To be fair, she... kind of feels bad that she hasn't spoken to her lately. But she's been wanting to keep her distance, ever since she recalled that memory of killing her own sister.

She doesn't think she can actually stomach facing her right now. She needs some space.

But what surprises her the most is that he asks her to promise her own thing.

To believe in each other. Their feelings. And that he truly believes that this was fate. But... there's a part of her that's terrified that it's all scripted out for them, like a storybook. Which is why she reaches out to him, putting her hand on his cheek, smiling rather fondly. ]


I want to believe that. I really do. So... I'll ask you, then. What's the reason you fell in love with me, Leon? I want to hear your answer.
Edited 2018-02-21 07:55 (UTC)

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-22 05:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-24 07:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-24 08:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-24 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-25 04:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-25 06:23 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-25 08:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-25 23:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-26 04:16 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-26 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-26 08:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-26 22:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-27 07:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-28 04:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-02-28 05:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-03-01 00:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] promisedyou - 2018-03-01 03:25 (UTC) - Expand