CITY EVENT LOG

[recollecters]

EVENT

The New Administration Wait, what? *[ooc: please be sure to read all mod notes at the bottom!] The third is when everything seems to start with a bang. On the third day of February, several crashes and bangs are heard and the sound of creaky metal ripples through the air. Those who look outside will see a sight for sore eyes. The moon and the stars brighten the sky and the dome is nowhere to be seen. Instead, anyone in Tisse will find yet another addition to the wonderful city of Recollé. At the very top of the Towers sits a penthouse with wide windows and an empty office building, soft lights glowing and illuminating the area. The city goes silent after that, but at the top of the hour every single Retrospec user receives a text from a user named Zee Carlisle. Nice city you've got here. They weren't kidding when they said I would fit right in. I've always wanted to live in a city like this. Jo, Maury and the rest of the team have given you a little bit of a breakdown in preparation for our little project, but they recruited me to step in. Seems like a lot of you want a more personal experience here with us at Retrospec. So let's talk. Get to know each other. I'll go first. Zee Carlisle, Hiring Manager. Nice to meet you, etc. I've been watching you for a while, Retrospecters. Kind of a unique group you've got going. I like it. Here's the thing. We've been experiencing some problems out of our control for a while now. The director's been trying to keep things under wraps for the last year, but HR and R&D finally convinced the higher ups that we need help. So. You want the whole story? Here's your story. The storms are getting worse. You might've noticed. Calls are down, mail's down, communication as a whole is down and isolating you into this teensy bubble of a city. It's why the dome went up, had to protect our resources and start isolating the sources. More areas and more people even outside of your little group here are being affected, but you guys are the only people who can help us. Some of you passed your assessments with flying colors and I've already sent messages. You'll leave for your assignments in the morning at 9am, congratulations. As for the rest of you, welllll…consider this an interview. You see...as a Hiring Manager, I'm looking for recruits for our new project. The Recollé Restoration Initiative (going forward known as the RRI) is a project we designed here to not only help us, but to help you help us help you. Make sense? Cool. You may ask, "Why should we trust you?" which is a completely fair question to ask. And hey, you don't have to trust me or trust them. But I think you might be interested to know that you and I have more in common than you think. As a user on the network, you can contact me via text, phone or email. I'll also have some office hours and more resources than you could ever dream of. But enough about me. Here's your first assignment. I. On the morning of the fourth, users going through their assessment period (i.e. those of you who are working inside the city) receive a diagram from Zee. In this diagram, a dot labelled "Recollé" sits in the center and in the four cardinal directions are different labelled dots. To the south is Pesgare. To the north is Magatus. To the east is Respatrum. And to the west is Bosuma. Citizens will find that they are able to leave the city limits now and can explore the open areas leading to these four points. While they will not be able to visit them just yet, they will be instructed that they must work together to begin structuring paths, roads, or forms of transportation between the main city of Recollé and these four locations. Zee may take requests and provide items should users ask, but it's up to you to work together and start brainstorming the best ways to create maps and connect these points together. But the best way to do that is to start exploring, right? Hit the road and grab a friend to begin getting a lay of the land. Southward leads residents to the beach while northward leads them through the forest, east and west giving way to desert and open field areas the further they travel. The expanse of directions seems endless, but eventually citizens will find that they will hit a point where they're unable to enter. An "ACCESS DENIED" notification will pop up on their phone, notifying them that they've reached the entry points of the special assignments volunteers have been sent on. But even with restricted access, there's plenty to be done and plenty to take care of as part of the initiative. Flora in the area needs to be identified and the fauna may be a bit problematic if you aren't careful. Some of these plants and creatures may even look familiar to you, but many of them won't! Off-roading and camping are encouraged and despite the fact it's February the weather seems to be amendable to these ventures. Clear as many of the monsters as possible to make way for the paths, report your findings to your hiring manager, and look out for each other as you start to shape the land. II. It's not just the outskirts of the city and open areas that need help. Some citizens who have lived here for a while may remember that February 3rd is traditionally known as Founder's Day, a holiday set up by the city to celebrate the foundation. In the days leading up to the third, banners, signs and all kinds of advertisements have gone up reminding everyone that this year is the 100th anniversary of the city's foundation. However, as the third approaches, Founder's Day comes and goes without any sort of large celebration. In fact, the annual parade is cancelled and instead citizens gather to discuss a more trying matter. Breaking news hits the airwaves that Mayor Mayer, the entire city council, the head of police, the fire chief and other prominent figures of the city have disappeared overnight. As newscasters record TV footage in front of City Hall and the police station, Retrospec users will receive a new message. Uh. Well, that was unexpected. I wasn't really counting on something like this coming up but let's roll with it and count it as part of your assessment. You want your city to keep running the way it did? Find your mayor and the others. But hey...it's your city. What if you didn't? Under your feet, blue pulses of light run under the streets and the sidewalks, energy thrumming beneath you as all lights lead back to the subway tunnels again. Will you be a hero and follow the lights to rescue these people? Or will you be a face of change and leave them to perish and redesign the city? Those who do enter the tunnels will find that a new route has opened, a mouth to the left of the main entrance from the city. Unlike the other dirt-filled vine-and-rat-infested tunnels, this one is a sterile and bright silver path with floor to ceiling panels on one side of the tracks and floor to ceiling mirrors on the other. The path seems to stretch miles and miles under the city and the further you walk, the narrower the path becomes. The sound of wild animals echo through the tunnels from the other sides of the panels, and the mirrors to your left reflect skeletal forms of both people and animals alike. The closer you get to the end though, the louder the sounds grow and the panels to the right slide open to release several chimera-esque creatures who will do everything they can to guard the silver door at the end of the tunnel. These creatures can be defeated by normal means, and they will not hesitate to attack anyone who gets close. Is it worth fighting to save these people? You decide. Those who defeat the creatures and find themselves at the silver door will receive yet another message. Hang tight, I am grouping you with some of the others to finish this thing. III. Later on the fourth, no matter where you are, you may find something heavy resting in your pocket. A small colored stone shaped like a heart appears and even while tucked away safely it burns brightly. Holding it, the heart feels as though it's pulsating and you're flooded with an overwhelming sense of love for something special whether that's a person, an item, or an ideal. All users find themselves in possession of a stone, and soon another text comes through. If you're anything like me, you're probably wondering what's up with the rocks. Had the techs run some tests on these. Don't freak out, but you might want to be careful with them? They're working as fast as they can but bits of your soul energy are tied directly to those stones. You break it or make it lose its shine, well, hard to say WHAT might happen. Users who keep their stones on their person in their pockets or in a bag will find that whatever emotions they're dealing with will transfer to whomever they encounter. Feeling happy that the sun's back? Everyone around you will wear a smile. Stressed out that your loved ones volunteered for a mission and they're out who-knows-where? Everyone around you will pick up that same nervous energy. The stone's color will fade if you ignore these feelings and even worse, fissures may start to form if they continue to be ignored. And though you may not know it yet, shattering the heart is the worst thing you could do: if the stone breaks, the thing that you love disappears from your mind completely. All memories and emotions associated with this heart will vanish without a second thought. IV. What's that smell in the air? Is it love? Close, it's cherry blossoms. It's a sickeningly sweet scent that occasionally blows through with the wind, strongest in the city and more faint the further you travel. However, citizens beware as invisible assailants appear to be on the prowl. Without warning, you may feel the prick of Cupid's arrow from behind. Though the effects only last two hours maximum, they're fairly inconvenient while on assignment. These effects include: -Heart-shaped pupils -A violent whirlwind of rose petals appearing any time you make eye contact with someone new -Your emotions are intensified -Your emotions are flipped. People you have a fondness for may now disgust you, or people you normally argue with may become your best friend Inconvenient, yet manageable, right? On February 14th though things become a bit harder. Yet another message comes through. Hope you've been having an easier time with the residual effects than I am. You know what makes everything easier? Teamwork. And that's what today's assignment is all about. Happy Valentine's Day. The first person that you see on this day may be a friend or a stranger, but soon you will find that a strangely magnetic force binds the two of you together. For the next 24 hours, you and your partner will be stuck together and must work together. Whether this is working on the road construction assignment, the rescue mission or just going about your everyday lives you'll have a built-in companion for the day. Who knows? You may even find yourself stuck with up to two additional people, too. But what if you stray too far from your partner(s)? No worries. A red string will bind your hands together and ensure you're always connected, simply falling away once the 24 hours are up. THE FUTURE. So this is life now, isn't it? A year's gone by since Retrospec's impacted so many lives and it may feel as though you're nowhere closer to answering questions. Perhaps you're just starting your journey with the restoration company. Either way, your help is most appreciated and acknowledged. As you work toward the goals assigned to you, you will be rewarded. For an excellent show of teamwork, at the end of your assessment you will find yourself on the receiving end of a brand new memory or vision of a life lost. Some of you may also receive a ticket in the mail to pick up an item at the Retrospec mailbox by Wiffle-Waffle. A message will be sent not long after. Congrats, you passed. Come to my office in March if you're ready for harder assignments. Welcome to recolle's February event! Please read these notes carefully! Prompt I may be played with however you want! There is really no right or wrong answer, and as mentioned Zee can be reached at his inbox to provide you with any tools your character may ask for to connect the four points to the city. You are free to make up plant names and what effects they have on the eco systems as well and report these back to the NPC if you wish. As of right now, the only monsters roaming the grounds are those in the above bestiary though other earthly wildlife may be found. Prompt II will require some coordination! If you complete a thread with someone in which you defeat the monsters and get to the silver door before 2/16 at 9pm EST, please hit up Zee's inbox! ICly (and oocly) your character will be put in contact with the small group of others who have worked toward this endeavor and given the next step to save these important NPCs. Prompt III will have set consequences! If your character breaks their heart, they will lose memories and feelings associated with something they love. Breaking the stone is entirely optional, and there will possibly be a way to regain these memories later down the line as a reward for the future, but please keep this in mind! The Future will only be applicable once you've met your freebie requirements for this log! Remember, the requirements for one free memory are 15 comments spread across at least two threads (min. 5 consecutive comments each) using these prompts. For the free 10-20 point item, one of these threads must be with a character you haven't threaded with before! A mod-posted Retrospec post may go up if necessary to connect city players with group players, dependent on player action! As always, you may also create your own logs or inbox threads based on these prompts. Any questions you have regarding this event may be directed to the mod comment here. Happy anniversary, Recollé!

Comments

[livingimpaired]

Titanic? I fell aslee--

[ He starts to smile in turn before his hand grips the side of the bench. His eyes unfocus as he stares past May.

A young woman that looks like she is but skin and bones tells him how much she loves him. He cannot comprehend those feelings. He cannot even come to express them back to her. There is blood; there is blood; there is blood; blood; blood; blood --

His hands reach out like he will attempt to comfort May as she lies there, but they shift to move like he is going to slide them around her throat instead. See, you're crying. Someone walks close enough to trip over Kei's legs and his hands pause where they are. Kei doesn't acknowledge the person, but his shoulders lower as he comes back out of the memory.

He reaches up to gently rest them on May's forehead instead, ignoring how his palms are sweating. It's the thought that counts. It's the thought he didn't carry through with the feelings in his memories. His expression twists but he continues like he didn't even stop talking. ]

Yes, I fell asleep. But... you look like you're really suffering, May. [ He breathes out slow, calming his heartbeat. Kei shares her sentiments about memories hitting hard. ] Will you recover? [ A half-joke to cover up his sudden rise of murderous intent. ]

[me_matey]

-Some cosmic gratitude could be paid to Kei having a full head of hair. Had that not been the case, May's reaction would have been considerably worse, but even with all that considered, she didn't miss the fact that his hands had originally been going for her throat.

And the cradling of her head wasn't that much better. His hands were clammy. The look on his face was strained, as if he was in pain. Something reflected in those eyes... was terrifying.

Her hand trembled as she raised the water bottle to him. More than ever, she noticed how much taller he was than her, how his shadow covered her completely... She was silent.-

[livingimpaired]

[ He takes in a deep breath before taking the water bottle from her. His lips do feel chapped even though his hands remain sweaty, clammy. Holding the bottle in his hands, he stares down at it in question. His fingers twist around the shape of it before he offers a weak, pained look to May instead. ]

It's okay. [ He hands it back to her. ] I'm afraid I'm not in the mood for an indirect kiss from a woman that collapsed in the middle of the street. That sort of scene is not particularly my style. [ Still, he attempts to make light jokes but he sees the way that she is looking at him -- and he knows that she saw what he had intended to do. In her weakened state -- if we were alone -- would she have survived?

His gaze drops before returns to her face. ] I'm back. I slipped away there without realizing... but I'm back. I'm sorry, May. That must have been frightening for you.

[me_matey]

What... were you seeing? Instead of me? -Because May needed to, desperately needed to believe he had a reason, a good reason, for the way his body had been reacting. Her eyes were still stunned, shaking, all of her was shaking. Even if he had apologized, the words rang depressingly hollow, like she was just talking to a ghost.-

cw: suicide

[livingimpaired]

[ Ah, May deserved to know that much, didn't she? He lowers his voice as his head cocks to the side. Indeed, she needs to know. But I cannot admit it. I cannot admit that the sorrow and anger I felt was because I couldn't kill that woman. Who was she? Why did she say she loved me? Why did she want to save my life? ]

A woman. She killed herself. [ His head bows. ] Was the cut on her throat? Could I have stopped the bleeding? I don't know. I couldn't think of anything. There was just ... blood. Everywhere. I felt angry... furious at myself and sorrowful for her.

[ He breathes out slow. ] Why did she do that? I don't know. Everything she said didn't make any sense to me. I couldn't comprehend it. [ And he looks up at May. ] That is what I saw. That is what took me. I never felt that way before... that blackening pit of emotions. [ To see a woman kill herself for him, for his sake, and only think how he wants to kill her himself. ]

[me_matey]

-... It was difficult to relate to. She'd seen people die before. The streets were sometimes rife with people on their last legs. The sick, the cold, the hungry. But this... it felt different. It felt too heavy to keep any kind of grip on, even with all her strength. Of course she doesn't blame Kei for not knowing how to interact with those memories. Hell, for all she knew...

He could have hated that woman. Could she honestly make any judgement about what he'd been doing? He stopped. That's... that's what mattered, right?

But no way of thinking could really piece together that situation in a way that put her at any level of ease. She was still shaking.-

Look... m-maybe we should both just... find somewhere to relax, yanno?

[livingimpaired]

That may be wise.

[ So he says as he feels this the third or fourth day he has broken out in a cold sweat over his memories. I am not that kind of person. I am empty, true, but I have never-- Kei decides not to finish that thought. To finish it would be damning. ]

I don't know how far you think you are going to go... trembling like you are. [ He breathes out slow and shakes his head at her. Shaken as he is, he isn't shaking -- if anything his body still feels more than capable of movement. He doesn't like thinking why. ]

If you'll allow me. [ And why should she? He is offering to carry her but why should she allow it? ] Prideful as you may be, I don't think collapsing on the way we should recover will do you much good.

[me_matey]

At least... let me try to stand on my own first, will ya? -May groaned, though she did wind up using his arm to pull herself up. Her grip was tight, far much more so than it had needed to be. She had done so subconsciously, but if one had to guess, it was probably a warning. A reminder of how strong she was, if something actually did happen. And she hated that part of her mind felt a need to do something like that.

She wanted to trust Kei. She always had, before.

Shakey as she was, she did manage to at least be able to stand briefly before she leaned against him, letting out a frustrated sigh.-

It's like I just got finished with three leg days at the gym all at once. -Her calves felt like jelly, in particular.-

[livingimpaired]

Of course. [ He looks at his arm as she's attempting to pull herself up to stand. It seems like she would have survived. It answers the question if she would have died or not if they were alone. Weakened by her memories as she was, her fight would drive her to do something. He feels a moment of relief, as he would not want to kill someone. If only for the reason that "ethically" speaking, it was wrong. ]

You did your best. [ Kei chimes before picking her up. He notes the difference in weight from what he expected and what he holds. Indeed, it isn't like he carries her into the clinic. ] I feel ... prepared for something. [ He admits as much as he starts off to find somewhere for them to recover. His breathing carefully controlled. ]

It's more of an adrenaline hit for me. [ Says the man who continues to talk calm and slow. ] But you were talking about someone confessing their romantic feelings for you before I rudely interrupted. I'd rather speak about that instead...

[me_matey]

Oh it wasn't someone confessing. -Trust her, she was completely onboard with changing the subject, even if this one was awkward in a whole different way.- It was the other me being madly, deeply in love with someone else. Someone that, as far as I can tell, didn't share her feelings...

[livingimpaired]

[ I don't think I could kill May. This thought, normally, would probably sound much more ominous for anyone else. But as he carries her, he thinks this more and more. It's an oddly relieving thought to have.

Upon her comment about how the person didn't share May's feelings, his head tilts. ]

Why do you say that? We only ever have our own perceptions, after all. What we perceive and what we know are clouded and warped. The memories that you're seeing -- that you saw -- is only from her perspective. So, there's no reason to think they're the whole truth. [ So he says. ] Well, going to tell me what this "someone" was like in May's rose-colored eyes, at least?

[me_matey]

He was this tall blonde guy, wore all black, sunglasses, and had a real smooth Rico Suave vibe to him. A real lady killer, ya know? -Which sort of made sense as to why the other her might fall for him. She personally had a taste for older men, and always had... well, until recently, that was.- But her love went deeper than that... I don't know for sure, but I think he'd the one that saved her, from a life as a war orphan.

[livingimpaired]

[ He gives a very slow turn of his head and less than amused look at her question about -- "A real lady killer, ya know?" His head cocks to the side to express a single word: "Really?" But he lets her continue. ]

A war orphan? I hadn't heard you talk about that before, May. [ Hm. ] It was gratitude, then. Gratitude toward the person that had saved her from a painful life, and her desire to appreciate that person turned to love. A deep romantic love that had nowhere to go, because its source was gratitude.

[ A small sigh. ] So I'm uncertain if you have ever felt love. You only felt a gratitude so deep and long that your other self mistook it for romance. If that is the case, then, you shouldn't feel upset about being unable to answer or know how to respond to those feelings.

[ His arms are growing tired and he looks around to see if they're anywhere they could finally sit. ] Because you've always relied and believed in yourself. You've never felt that sort of deep, profound sense of indebtedness to anyone.

[me_matey]

I... don't wanna take all the credit. The priests looked out for me when they could. I've had friends. *My* Johnny, the old man... -Even if he was in prison.- I took his surname for a reason, but...

I dunno. I guess without knowing more about her Johnny, I won't fully know why she's so in love with him, but it's so powerful. A driving force in her life.

[livingimpaired]

A desire for a connection with the person that saved you.

[ He chimes back, readily, easily. ]

I don't think any love should be a driving force of anyone's life. Romantic, rose-colored vision or otherwise. [ A sigh. ] It no longer is love, then, but obsession. Because say if your Johnny dies... what would happen to May? I won't let you humor that thought for long.

But what she feels... it isn't love and it will destroy her. So don't let it destroy you.

[me_matey]

-"So don't let it destroy you"-

Trust me... I'm tryin'...

-It was quiet, weak, as if mostly to herself. But her thoughts on what 'love' meant to her, not to her other self, only seemed to be able to focus on one person, a person who made her heart fill with all kinds of emotions, both wonderful and crushing. She wanted to pretend this was just a passing infatuation, or like Kei had said, a desire for a connection with a person that 'saved' her. But she didn't know enough to buy into that, did she?

No... when she thought about 'love', 'romantic love', 'longing', all of that, including what Kei said about connecting with someone who had lifted her from darkness...

It was Sakura. Sakura was all she could think of.





She hated it.-





You feelin' any better? -After a long pause.-

[livingimpaired]

[ He offers a soft "hm" but misses what it is that she's saying. It seems like those words aren't really meant for him, anyway. Still, he finally finds a small park that the two of them can continue their recuperation. ]

Yes, I'm feeling better. [ Adjusting May in his arms, he kneels so that she could easily return to walking on her own two feet. He stands and rubs the back of his neck, like it is strained. ]

I couldn't come to love her. [ Kei finally says aloud as he looks up rather than down at May. ] She loved me and I couldn't love her. She wanted me to love her. No, she believed that I was mistaken. She believed that I didn't understand my own feelings. She decided to prove that I loved her. [ No, he didn't hate her. He wanted to kill her with his own hands, but there was no hate in his heart when he felt these murderous intentions.

He flinches. ] It is why I am telling you to not let your love destroy you. Do not become so blinded in seeing what you want from the person you say you love that you corner them.

[me_matey]

Sounds like she had a lot of problems... -And maybe thought of Kei as a solution? Or perhaps an absolution. Something that would make her suffering seem worthwhile. Either way... it didn't seem like a reflection of her issue with Sakura.-

I'm not about to kill myself to prove a point about love, so don't worry about me... But it does feel like love is making my life too damn emotionally complicated.

[livingimpaired]

She looked rather ill. Physically. Skin and bones. [ Yet Kirei Kotomine was not surprised by her appearance; it must have been how she has looked for so long. But would Kei have felt any sort of surprise? No. Illness is illness. He's confusing the shock he felt at the suicide over any sort of reaction that he would actually feel. ]

I wouldn't think that you would kill yourself, May. I wouldn't say that it is like that at all for you. That is not what I am likening it to, but rather... nevermind. It is a useless warning. [ He shakes his head. ] I suddenly am glad for my emotional constipation. But I will wish you luck all the same.

[me_matey]

I'd be more worried if you started emoting all over the place, to be honest. -As frightening as the experience was, she at least believed Kei when he said he hadn't intended to reach out for her throat like that, it was just a disassociative episode brought on by the memory's intrusion into his consciousness. At least that was what she was content to think. Anything else...-

You've given me good advice, mostly because you *don't* let your heart sway anything you do. I just... gotta deal with this now. The person I love definitely can't handle what all that comes with... So for now, I'm gonna keep it to myself.

[livingimpaired]

It is not really my way. [ He has always had a disinterested look about him, like he is only interacting with others because it is a social obligation. Indeed, he would move his body and gesture with certain "emotions" -- but it was a wooden performance. Like a puppeteer attempting to give emotion to a puppet. ]

You have someone that you love, then? [ Hm. ] I would say... yes, do not let your heart sway you in what you do. You should attempt to find out what you want from the person. As cold as that may sound. [ It is a very Kei-advice statement. ]

Not just the returned affections and I don't mean marriage... if it was only returned affections, where would all those emotions go? There should be a wish beyond just having the person say they love you back, May. Otherwise, it sounds like an empty affair, anyway.

[me_matey]

They already think the world of me, just... as a friend. And as far as support and comfort goes, I've got all I could need from them and then some. Just like Johnny to the other me, this person 'saved' me when I was at my lowest point.

They gave me a roof over my head, food to eat, companionship, emotional support, warm smiles... -There's a lightness in her voice as she speaks, but part of her chokes on the words, and it's hard not to notice there's a slight welling of tears in her eyes.-

They mean everything to me right now. But they've got so much on their own shoulders... I ain't got any right to their heart the way my love seems to want me to. Got no right at all...

[livingimpaired]

[ His stare slowly appears to gain some interest when her eyes start to well up with tears. It makes her eyes look wet and her entire presence feels significantly weaker. He breathes in slow, careful --

-- and takes a step back rather than reach out to place his hand on her shoulder. Given that he did attempt to choke her, she would not appreciate him suddenly reaching out for her in a moment of weakness. ]

May, what is love to you? Is love a burden? It seems to me that you view it as a burden upon your shoulders and upon the person that you love. I have never felt anything like you are now, but shouldn't it be happier? [ A beat. ] Love is a mundane, every-day feeling that I will never experience. It should bring happiness just thinking about the person that you love, but you only think of how it will upset them. You only think of how you must live in your pain.

[ Hm. ] If you have no right to tell them that you love them, you have no right to love them. If you can only think of love and experience pain, you have no reason to love them at all. [ ... ] So, will you give it up?

[me_matey]

-Kei could be... let's just be polite and say *grim* at the best of times, so while his response wasn't exactly surprising, it did feel a bit more like a dagger in her heart than it was probably (no, definitely) intended. Between that and everything else that was choking up her chest, the anxious heat that settled in any time she thought about her feelings for Sakura lately, she had to pause a moment to really gather her thoughts back up before she could even think of how to respond.-

It's... It's not that *easy*, Kei. -It's almost incredulous. Emotionally stunted, sure, but hell, he had to know better than that, right?- Just because I know this will only cause problems doesn't change how I feel. I can't just... let it go, you know? It's gonna stick with me for however long it takes me to finally... get over it, I guess.

-But wasn't that just as great a sin? To just *get over* Sakura, the most important person in her life? Nothing felt like the 'right' call, just... different degrees of pain.-

At least this way, I'm the only one suffering...

[livingimpaired]

I did not say that it was easy. I asked you if you will give it up. [ He slides his hands behind his back, holding his hands together. His fingers tap lightly on the inside of his palm as he looks down at May. The weakness in her is growing and it has nowhere to go. ]

You have to decide first that you want to let it go. The process won't start until you say that you want it to be done. [ A beat. ] Until you decide that you've had enough.

[ He shakes his head, his shoulders lower in exasperation. ] Do you think that a person who does all of that for you isn't suffering in seeing you suffering? You hide yourself well, but ... there are those that can see through what you do. If that person saw you at your lowest, they know that you're hurting. Do you think someone that kind would be unable to not hurt because you are hurting?