double bubble disco queen headed to the guillotine

[hjack69]

WHO: Handsome Jack and YOU (and people)
WHERE: indecisive hand waving
WHEN: waving continues
WHAT: Catchall for any and all dumbass shenanigans he gets into + a few open starters.
WARNINGS: L... anguage..., suggestive content in the first prompt?

A ( misfire )

Look, we can do whatever the hell you want. Roses, Frenchy douchebag restaurant, repeatedly complimenting something other than your abs (nice abs btw), anything! Whatever. I'm game.

Except for that.

[ he is absolutely not waxing his legs, Christine.

fuckin misfires. ]

B ( and welcome 2 tha jam )

[ Sometimes even Jack needs to let off steam in ways that wouldn't fly anywhere else - he says he likes the workout, but really, he likes shoving and chin-checking and throwing elbows, and you can't get away with that in a lot of places.

Unless you play basketball. Dirty.

There's a court in the park he comes to sometimes, and he's there right now, shooting hoops by himself. No reading glasses, no snappy outfit here; he's got the tank and shorts combo going on, hair hanging haphazardly in his face. It's getting dull, though. There's just no edge when he plays by himself.

So hey, random pedestrian, you're getting a basketball tossed at your head. ]

Think fast!

C ( wildcard )

[ Hit me with anything or contact me privately at my plurk which I still can't remember how to link. ]

Comments

[puffing]

[ Bigby is already beginning to realize how big of a colossal fuck up it was to invite Jack drinking. it took less than ten minutes for this social gathering to go downhill, and it's because of Jack's big goddamn mouth. maybe Bigby should be thankful that the opportunity presented itself for him to find out there's even more going behind his back than he anticipated. or maybe he should be pissed.

guess which emotion he's leaning towards. ]

You can't be fucking serious. [ said with absolutely no empathy or friendliness in his voice. his lips curve up to form a smirk, but it's more-so out of disbelief than anything else. curiosity gnaws at him to the point of discomfort and it takes every little bit of self-control not to jump ahead of himself before he regrets the consequences. ] You made a promise to my wife, and you think that it might be a good idea to dangle that in my face without telling me what it's about? Aside from the fact that I can't believe you just called this shit you're alluding to "snitching", there's worse things that happen to people that bite their tongue.

Like the fact that they may accidentally swallow it.

[ and he ends that little comment by finishing the rest of his glass, refusing to move his eyes from Jack's direction for even the slightest moment. ]

[hjack69]

Look, chief, you can't intimidate me.

[ Jack finishes off his own glass and sets it aside, shrugging. ]

She told me to keep it to myself, so that's what I'm doing. [ A scoff. ] Hell, you should be glad I'm such a good friend of hers.

man i wasn't expecting to be so slow on this.. my bad dude

[puffing]

You're not doing so great at the "keeping it to yourself" part as you'd like to think, chief. Cat's out of the fucking bag now.

[ and he doesn't like that one bit. the glass in Bigby's hand can be heard tightening under the stress of him squeezing harshly against it. he's trying his best to keep an even keel about this, all in hopes of getting more info out of the man regarding what the hell was so secretive between them in the first place. he isn't paranoid enough to assume it'd be something romantic or sexual, even if Jack seems like the homewrecking type.

this probably wouldn't be nowhere near as much of a big deal as it is right now if Bigby hadn't had a fight with Elizabeth over something similar not too long ago. just as things begin to smooth over, this happens. go fucking figure.

when Jack makes mention of being a "good friend", Bigby literally growls. he shoots him a cold glare through the corner of his eyes and has no problem grabbing his glass and promptly tossing it onto the ground only for the glass to shatter. ]

Did that make a point about how fucking glad I am to hear that? And here I thought we were supposed to be "good friends". Tell me. ―What the fuck. ―Is going on. ―Jack.

NO PROB i've been mega slow, i feel dis

[hjack69]

[ Jack doesn't know what kind of reaction he expected - certainly not a nice one, but the sound of shattering glass doesn't just drop the whole bar into silence, it makes Jack jump. Bigby gets a moment's worth of Jack looking disarmed before he shoves himself back into motion, shifting in his seat to face Bigby entirely. ]

You're making a scene. [ It's just above a hiss, hands motioning in a shushing, settle down now kind of way. ] Jesus, why don't you ask her?

[puffing]

Now of all times is when you're worried about making a fucking scene? [ please notice how Bigby does very little to control his volume in comparison. ] After tossing your shirt off like an asshole and wrestling with me in a bar, after throwing up on my goddamn shoes, you worry about making a scene now? You're fucking something else―

[ Jack should know that trying to calm down a man with Bigby's personality type will only rile him up further. it would be beneficial to take a breath, light a cigarette and push past the frustration that is currently overwhelming him, but of course he doesn't. ]

Just answer this question. Did she tell you about the scar?

[hjack69]

[ A beat.

Suddenly, Jack smiles. Like they're joking around. ]

Hey, you figured out the secret! [ A sigh. ] Great, I was getting tired of dickin' around with subtlety.

[puffing]

[ the smile does it for Bigby. Jack is clearly ignorant to the fact that he should be walking on eggshells right now. try as he might to simply deny, deny, deny, Bigby caught on and how does the other man react? by smiling. it's enough to make a snort of hot air leave his nose as he shakes his head in what seems like disbelief. ]

I'll show you subtle.

[ everything that follows that under-the-breath comment is out of instinct. definitely not premeditated. Bigby's glass is clutched in his hand and he takes one deep breath before lifting it into the air. emotion gets the better of him and he collides the side of the container against Jack's skull. it shatters on impact, and it certainly isn't a pretty display as the remaining bits of alcohol go right at any cuts he's left behind in his wake. ]

Dick.

[hjack69]

[ He shouldn't be surprised, honestly, and Jack knows that. Will know that, once he's had time to mull over the whole night a bit. (The smile was probably a little much.) He's on the ground before what's happened actually registers, and then he's throwing Bigby a wide-eyed look, hand immediately flying up to his head. ]

What the - what the hell, Bigby!