yar har fiddle di dee, being a pirate is all right with me

[skald]

WHO: Tuuri, a bunch of her friends, a bunch of their friends, and so on; this is OPEN TO ALL EXCEPT ELLIOT CRAIG
WHERE: The many parks, public places, and cool filming locations of Recolle
WHEN: September 28 and on for the next week or so!
WHAT: In a truly absurd comedy of errors, Tuuri is making a fake movie ("MAGIC PIRATES," in Finnish) to cover up an unnecessary lie that she told her roommate. This is the making of that movie.
WARNINGS: Idiocy

Considering Tuuri planned this movie in thirty minutes, the setup isn't half-bad. They start out in one of the many parks in Recolle (though Tuuri is ready and willing to move as inspiration dictates), with a legitimate video camera (courtesy of Dave Strider), a pretty nice spread of catered tacos (courtesy of Tuuri and the food truck on the edge of the park), and even managed to dig up a handful of props (courtesy of you?). What they don't have is a complete script, or a plot, or a defined genre, or really anything more than a title, and even that title may be "more metaphorical than literal." Tuuri wrote about a scene and a half last night, and Dave probably wrote another scene and a half, and they're just going to have to cobble together the rest based on however inspiration strikes their actors.

Take the opportunity to act out a scene from your hallucinomemories! Go off-script for the one scene that Tuuri actually wrote! (She wishes you wouldn't, but fine, keep rolling) Show off your brand new Retrospec abilities, or that one acting class you took in high school, or any other entertaining act you can think of to fill the 90 minutes that Tuuri needs to squeeze out by next week for her roommate movie night! Just do Tuuri a favor and stay away from delivering your lines in English, or at least try to make it easy to dub over them.

Or, hey, grab a taco, work the lights, chat with the other cast members. Try to figure out why this is happening in the first place. Maybe teach Tuuri how to check the Retrospec user list. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players who are too polite to point out that this is hands down the most convoluted solution possible to a problem that Tuuri created for herself.

Note: this is truly open to all (except to Elliot, Elliot isn't allowed in this log) even if your character has never spoken to Tuuri before in their life. Feel free to have your characters invite their friends along, crash the film set when they walk by in exchange for a taco, or if you want Tuuri can misfire an invite to join her in this misadventure. Hit me up on plurk at spoilers if you want to plot anything specific!

Comments

[buncho]

The head hits the ground, but before the Captain can feast upon the grey matter, there's the sound of cannon fire! The ship is under attack!!

[ She supplements John's soundtrack with some KA-BOOM!!!!'s of her own, hoping this is all being recorded so she doesn't have to repeat the material later; they can green screen the rest of the crew members in around her later. ]

"Return fire!!!" The captain shouts [ and she looks around for a stray tree branch to use as a cutlass she can raise into the air as she mock runs in place. ]

But the ship is out of cannonballs! Unless the captain thinks fast, she's going to lose the ship and the rest of her crew, so she picks up what ammunition she has: the crew member's head! This will be your final service!

[windeity]

[The keyboard slides back into piano and there's a tell-tale suspenseful melody like from a silent movie, underlying notes to prop Mafuyu up with the story and he's pretty sure out of the corner of his eye he sees Dave recording all of this anyway even if he won't say so.]

And then what happens?

[buncho]

The hair gets stuck in the cannon and it malfunctions, the cannon itself blowing up sky high, bits of brain showering down all over deck!

[ A handful of fallen leaves get tossed into the air and make a mess everywhere. ]

Even in death, the crew member continues to antagonize the captain, but all is not lost. The brains attract a flock of zombie vultures that swoop down from the sky and pledge their allegiance to the zombie pirate captain, and her crew rides the vultures into battle!

[windeity]

[He suddenly laughs.] That. Is truly disgusting.

[There's a slight lull as he thinks of how to play this, suddenly stopping with the piano and leaning to pick up the bass guitar he also brought that day. It's a low-strumming baseline, ramping up to something stronger and more powerful before it's a sound that essentially says "CHARGE" at the height of its notes.] Those must be some really big vultures.

[buncho]

They're mutant vultures, and every time they gobble up one of the enemy pirates, they get bigger and bigger until they're the size of buildings. They eat humans, and they eat each other— Captain Meri stands in horror as they tear into each other!

[ Only she doesn't, she's kind of cackling now, watching this play out in her mind. ]

There's only one left: one final vulture king that has gone mad with power, and it's up to the Captain to slaughter it before it destroys the world!

[windeity]

[A low-lying tune still on bass, a battle ramping up and a steady noise like a heartbeat. It's meant to be tension-filled and he strums along as he raises an eyebrow.]

And if the Captain loses to the vulture king? [The bass is more intense and it stops suddenly as a light run of piano keys follows.]

[buncho]

Impossible.

[ Captain Meri Rotisserie Chicken never loses, and playing out a death scene now bars her from acting the rest of the day because she has no concept in post editing. ]

It's a long and difficult battle, and our hero is pinned down, about to lose all hope. But with one final surge of energy, she lifts the vulture off her chest and hurls it into the sky!! The massive bird gets engulfed by the sun and meets its firey doom! Captain Meri ends world hunger with fried vulture for everyone!!

[windeity]

Hurray for Captain Meri, defender of pirates, savior of the people, and ender of zombie vultures! [And while he's talking, he's playing an upbeat, carefree victory song with lighthearted notes.] The day was saved and the Captain went down in history as the greatest Captain ever known.

[buncho]

A happy ending...!

[ Which is the best of endings, in her opinion. All of that would make a great flashback prequel thing to have at the start of Tuuri's movie and she hopes she's pleased. ]

That was good! You should just do what Dave does and follow people around and add music right when things are happening!

[windeity]

[The music stops and he grins, leaning lightly on his keyboard then.]

I'm glad you liked it, but I am not sure I can really follow people around with a keyboard and bass all day. That would get kind of heavy after a while.

[buncho]

[ Time to start lifting, John. That might not be feasible in the span of the one day they have to complete shooting this film, though. ]

There's small portable pianos, right? The one on accordions!

[ There's a strap and everything and Mafuyu has full confidence John can play a mean accordion. ]

[windeity]

Those hardly count as pianos, Mafuyu. [But he seems to be considering it anyway, why.] Also, that would mean having an accordion and I cannot even begin to justify keeping something like that in my room. I could make Dave carry my keyboard, actually. He brought it here in the first place.

[buncho]

[ .................Mafuyu looks over at one of the many Daves and squints at his arms. They look comparably unimpressive as hers from here, but that sort of thing doesn't translate to hidden retrospec-gifted strength, so maybe he's just secretly the hulk, who knows. ]

Can he do it all day? Just sorta charter around a keyboard to wherever you need to be?

[windeity]

That seems to be the case, yes. [This is not going to end well for most people, but mostly Dave, probably.] He seems to have no problem carrying around stuff like that. Why?

[buncho]

Then great, we'll leave it to him!

[ Not her problem = there's no problem

John can be her personal soundtrack while she demolishes trucks and gets caught on fire. ]