yar har fiddle di dee, being a pirate is all right with me

[skald]

WHO: Tuuri, a bunch of her friends, a bunch of their friends, and so on; this is OPEN TO ALL EXCEPT ELLIOT CRAIG
WHERE: The many parks, public places, and cool filming locations of Recolle
WHEN: September 28 and on for the next week or so!
WHAT: In a truly absurd comedy of errors, Tuuri is making a fake movie ("MAGIC PIRATES," in Finnish) to cover up an unnecessary lie that she told her roommate. This is the making of that movie.
WARNINGS: Idiocy

Considering Tuuri planned this movie in thirty minutes, the setup isn't half-bad. They start out in one of the many parks in Recolle (though Tuuri is ready and willing to move as inspiration dictates), with a legitimate video camera (courtesy of Dave Strider), a pretty nice spread of catered tacos (courtesy of Tuuri and the food truck on the edge of the park), and even managed to dig up a handful of props (courtesy of you?). What they don't have is a complete script, or a plot, or a defined genre, or really anything more than a title, and even that title may be "more metaphorical than literal." Tuuri wrote about a scene and a half last night, and Dave probably wrote another scene and a half, and they're just going to have to cobble together the rest based on however inspiration strikes their actors.

Take the opportunity to act out a scene from your hallucinomemories! Go off-script for the one scene that Tuuri actually wrote! (She wishes you wouldn't, but fine, keep rolling) Show off your brand new Retrospec abilities, or that one acting class you took in high school, or any other entertaining act you can think of to fill the 90 minutes that Tuuri needs to squeeze out by next week for her roommate movie night! Just do Tuuri a favor and stay away from delivering your lines in English, or at least try to make it easy to dub over them.

Or, hey, grab a taco, work the lights, chat with the other cast members. Try to figure out why this is happening in the first place. Maybe teach Tuuri how to check the Retrospec user list. All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players who are too polite to point out that this is hands down the most convoluted solution possible to a problem that Tuuri created for herself.

Note: this is truly open to all (except to Elliot, Elliot isn't allowed in this log) even if your character has never spoken to Tuuri before in their life. Feel free to have your characters invite their friends along, crash the film set when they walk by in exchange for a taco, or if you want Tuuri can misfire an invite to join her in this misadventure. Hit me up on plurk at spoilers if you want to plot anything specific!

Comments

[skald]

a. welcome to the madness
[Hello, friend of Tuuri's. Most of you have never seen Tuuri at this particular level of frantic nervous stress, but she sure is smiling like everything is right with the world and not as if she just pulled a lot of people into a huge time sink for no real reason. See, smiling! Everything is fine!]

Hi! Morning! Thank you for coming. Um, we didn't finish the script all the way, but that's fine! We're going to play it by ear, ahaha. Do you want some soda?

[Or hello, friend of friend of Tuuri's, or stranger who is trying to see what the fuss is all about.]

Hi, I'm Tuuri, nice to meet you. Do you want to be in the movie? We have plenty of roles open! Er, the roles are basically whatever you want.

b. oh right this movie was supposed to be in Finnish
[At some point during the day, Tuuri remembers that the entire premise of this nonsense was that she was referring to a movie that was only in Finnish. For about half an hour, she makes a valiant effort to keep it that way. Unfortunately for her, Finnish is, well.]

No, listen to it one more time. Ajattele sitä asiaa vaan ihan lunkisti äläkä hermoile. Okay? Now you try!

[...If you speak a language other than English, she will eventually give up and let you use that instead. It's art! It's all going to be meaningful in the end!]

c. WILDCARD
[seriously go with what you feel, either during filming or during the mess that will be the editing process.]

b/c

[lalliho]

[He's taking a break with a mysterious bag of candy that hadn't been supplied, but he's not hiding...! Don't be mad.]

People are really bad at Finnish.

[skald]

[Tuuri sighs!!! because why can't people live up to her artistic vision, the artistic vision that she came up with on the bus this morning.]

It's not that difficult. I'm even saying it slowly.

[buncho]

i.
[ Eyepatch for you, and eyepatch for you, and eyepatch for YOU, TAKE THE EYEPATCH GDI— that is Mafuyu trying to shove an eyepatch at you, because the theme of the movie is apparently pirates and so everybody's got to wear the patch, or two, or three. She also has little tubes of glitter and tiny pompoms and miscellaneous arts and crafts that she's brought, obviously left over because her particular eyepatch sports a glitter tiger. ]

Here, take one and pick a number!

[ The number is first mate, second mate, etc. She's holding recruitment at this table. ]

ii.

Awateg faalit piou harpun nakkamel!!

[ I DON'T KNOW i just keysmashed some letters and added vowels, this is close enough to Finnish, right? Regardless of this language massacre, Mafuyu looks like she's having a grand time, eyepatch strapped over one eye and perched up on the branches of one of the trees in the park that she's claimed as her pirate ship. She's got her bokken gripped in one hand, swinging it in the air so that it tears the leaves off the branch overhead, showering them all over the ground to get whoever's attention is below. ]

Arr! Avast ye scallywags, before the mast! [ The mast is Mafuyu and Finnish is tiring and this will have to be dubbed over, sorry Tuuri, but come here crew members: today, we're battling another pirate ship and taking over their spoils. ] Run a shot across the bow and seize the coffer!

[parodeity]

i. that guy with the camera

[ dave is always up for really stupid shenanigans, especially if he gets to use a camera and also help someone with an elaborate lie in the bargain? so every time shooting occurs, dave strider is around with his video camera, looking - well, looking as neutral as ever with his shades firmly on, but to those who know him well it's a neutral slanting towards incredibly amused. once he figures out the people involved are pretty much all retrospec, you may see multiple daves around, so he can shoot multiple scenes at once.

time travel should probably not be used for this but Whatever!!! he does what he wants!

also he's willing to follow makeshift scenes off the initial "set" and doesn't seem to mind people doing whatever the fuck. in fact, the more off-script people go the more entertained dave strider gets, so... ]

Cameras ready to roll. [ cheerful in his own way, though its his typical texan monotone; dave gives a thumbs up to whatever nonsense you're about to throw at him.

...he also doesn't mind being INVOLVED in the scenes, either via time travel or people just going "why not talk to the guy with a camera". ]

ii. editing

[ during breaks or whatever, or after sessions, dave can be found with his laptop around the park or campus, editing scenes into some semblance of a coherent story (...by DAVE STRIDER standards, so) and dubbing over anything blatantly english with finnish voice clips either provided by tuuri and co or BLATANTLY STOLEN from illegally downloaded finnish films.

this is going to be a goddamned masterpiece.

why is he adding in so many gratuitous explosion special effects, and why are they probably all centered around mafuyu...he's a good pal, ok. he also does seem to be adding music and other sound effects...? the music is all Actually Original bullshit. maybe there will be more on that later, who knows. ]

iii. conscripted

[ also during shooting however he's likely to shove lights or props at people? ]

Hey, mind helpin' for a second? I don't want to add another loop and I need someone to -

[ a) work the lights or a microphone to better catch voices, how much of this shit did he "borrow"
b) throw some fish at the actors
c) use a water gun to shoot water at the actors
d) make funny sound effects
e) shout finnish lines
f) wildcard it ]

iv. movie poster

[ at one point he has his actual camera, though, and is directing everyone into a dumb series of poses... ]

We need a poster for the movie, ok? And a film cover. So...

[ probably true! but he's also probably asking more and more improbably silly things just to see how much hilarity he can get away with. let him live this is GREAT and he loves it. ]

wildcard

[ generally dave can be found around the entire time, in jeans and sneakers and a long-sleeved shirt and his shades. he always has his camera or laptop on him, and basically just seems super engaged and entertained. if you're really lucky, you might even catch him laughing?

he's also willing to learn finnish but is probably banned from lines because it sounds TERRIBLE with his texan accent so...yeah... ]

[evidentiary]

i. a conscript...

[ fun fact: kyouko is actually good at languages. so when she comes across this disaster in the park as she's walking back from classes, she accepts a taco (...she skipped lunch) in exchange for random finnish lessons (why???) and was Good Enough to get asked/begged to stay on so now she is...

apparently not exactly a pirate? she is definitely a marine or some sort of law person, since she was more willing to put on a military-esque uniform than she was willing to put on a pirate costume.

she points her sword at you if you're an actor with: ]

Ajattele sitä asiaa vaan ihan lunkisti äläkä hermoile. [ ...WHATEVER THAT IS, PRONOUNCED FAIRLY PERFECTLY, although she's not 100% on what the fuck she's saying; she can take line direction easily but has only picked up pidgin finnish so far.

if you're not an actor and she knows you, kyouko may lean towards being embarrassed but definitely will just...stay straight faced...and say: ]

...Hello. [ DARING YOU TO COMMENT.

if she doesn't know you, she'll just shrug. what explanation can really be given? ]

ii. chatting

...I'll admit I'm not at all clear on the storyline, here.

[ kyouko has a script but it is. like two scenes or whatever and everything else seems to be improvisation... ]

We become pirates, as well? [ THE MARINES, SHE MEANS. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING IN THIS STORY. ] Also, what part of this is "magic"...

iii. props

[ some of these props people brought are probably unweildy or stupid and kyouko was helping to carry some but sure fucking did just accidentally drop a bucket of glitter confetti as a gust of wind came to blow it at you.

OOPS. she's not clumsy by nature, but sometimes shit just happens. ]

wildcard

[ anyway she will show up for the thing with some sort of regularity out of a sense of either obligation or wanting to see where this train wreck goes...you can find her in scenes, reading lines, or drinking coffee as she watches everyone do whatever with vague interest. ]

i

[skald]

That was the most amazing thing I've ever heard.

[Tuuri is literally standing there in awe off to the side of the camera. Where did this language master come from, and where has she been for the duration of this shoot?

Tuuri enters the scene to hold out another taco in offering. She does not realize that she's ruining the scene. She can exchange tacos for Finnish lines, and for just a moment she thinks that maybe she'll be able to pull this off.]

ii

[skald]

[Whatever that was was not even close to Finnish, but that's fine. Like, Tuuri might dub it over, but depending on time constraints she might just... leave it. No one will be able to tell.

Anyway, Tuuri is standing below and behind Mafuyu's tree, operating a freestanding fan (to blow the wind in her face, so it looks like she's standing on the deck of a ship) and also wave an inflatable dolphin every once in a while to try to make this park look a little more like an ocean scene. At least until a shower of leaves from Mafuyu's bokken fall right into her eyes.]

--Ow! [she's holding up the dolphin to shield herself, so now there's an upside-down dolphin in the bottom of the shot.] Uh-- Ahoy, captain! We speared us a dolphin too! [she's going to have to dub this anyway, might as well make sure Mafuyu knows what she's saying.]

ii

[skald]

[Tuuri is sitting next to him for a dubbing session with nothing more than a cheap microphone and a determination to stick to the one rule she set for this movie: no English translation available. She clears her throat, puts on a voice about half an octave lower than her normal speaking voice but still noticeably hers, and says]

Epäjärjestelmällistyttämä-- ack! [aaaand she starts coughing. Tuuri's vocal skills are as minimal as her lying skills.] Ugh. Maybe I should try going higher instead?

[buncho]

[ Mafuyu looks down, seeing the dolphin's stomach bob up and down for fending away the onslaught of leaves. She plays along, reaching up to snap one of the branches from above her head. ]

Don't let your guard down, matey! The monster is still alive!

[ Hold that dolphin still for a moment, because that's Mafuyu taking a giant leap off the tree, using the downward force to spear the dolphin in the side and I really hope these props aren't being rented because it deflates rapidly, the dolphin letting out a dying screech of escaped air. ]

B

[redarm]

[Noah's not actually bad at languages. He always gets great grades in his language classes, and it's easily up there with math for his best subjects.

However, there is one teensy problem: his natural accent? Is a little, uh, thick. So every time he tries to repeat that sentence? It comes out sounding closer to gibberish. And it only gets worse as he gets more frustrated, and his accent gets even thicker]

Oy, c'mon! I fuckin' had it that time!

i

[buncho]

[ Mafuyu had bullied her way into being Tuuri's pirate king, but too many people seem allergic to fighting things out with her, and so she's fully prepared to play all the other parts in this nonexistent script too. Unlike before, she can at least be differentiated between two characters: "normal mode" pirate king, and "wtf is that rabbit mask" abomination of the seven seas. ]

Who is this shark bait that has fallen into my waters? Bring me the head of Captain Meri Rossakunikakakki and I, Davy Jones, shall spare the lives of this forsaken ship!

[ It's that rabbit mask she's wearing right now, that she shoves right at Dave's camera so that it takes up the entire view as she addresses the to-be audience that Dave will have to stand in for for now. This is some sort of fourth wall narrative technique, I'm sure. ]

[redarm]

[ I. The stunt guy ]
[Noah got roped into this by being promised tacos. He has no idea what this is for, why they are doing this, what the plot is, or any of the other details- nor does he care. Tacos are all that mattered.

He's not so great at the spoken dialogue, but Noah is a trained acrobat. So anytime a fight needs to be given more flair? Just give him a wig and he'll do a flip for you. Or he'll climb up on something dangerously high.

If you don't need Noah, but you need a magical creature to help, Timcanpy is here! He doesn't talk, but Tim will be happy to help out in the movie any way he can. Whether it be from being a standin for some monster, or holding onto a stage microphone above with his teeth. Tim is your golem ]

[ II. TACOS ]
[When he's not performing stunts for people? Noah can be found of course near the tacos. He's sitting on the ground, with a plate of tacos piled high. Way more tacos than anyone should reasonably be able to eat, but he seems to be having no trouble. Timcanpy too is munching on his own taco on his own plate next to him. Tim deserves tacos took okay?]

[ III. Wildcard ]
[You know the drill!]

ii/iii

[appraiser]

[ The glitter is the part of it that's "magic." Ryoji only sees the glitter bomb come out of the corner of his eye, and his barrier springs up before he fully turns and sees that he wasted his thrice-a-day lifesaving shield on a face-full of sparkly paper that bends around either side of him as it hits the invisible partition.

Ryoji stands there, momentarily stunned, but there are Daves everywhere filming everything, so he shakes it off and gets back into role, fighting back the "magic" confetti with the handful of paper napkins that was supposed to go to the taco table but is now being tossed... against the wind... at Kyouko's face. ]

Hyvää syntymäpäivää!

[ Which is Finnish for Happy Birthday. This is the only Finnish he can pronounce with full confidence and he will be repeating variants of it like he's a goddamn Pokemon. ]

A.

[blind_badass]

((OOC: Because why not have the blind man act? He is good at memorizing if you tell him his lines.))

Oh, is that what's going on here? I wasn't quite sure. I...suppose I could help you if someone tells me what my lines are? I doubt you can type in braille.

b;

[sotenbori]

Ya can say it all the times ya want, but I don't think I'm ever gonna get it.

[ he feels?? bad?? but he knows hes butchering it ]

[prometheanflame]

A. What is happening.

[He was told that Tuuri was still working on the script. He wasn't expecting that the props, actors, essentially the entire movie was still a work in progress.]

...Where do I start? [He says to himself and to anyone nearby. Really, acting and speaking Finnish are the least of his worries. They need the groundwork.]

B. I like the special effects.

[Mohammed volunteers for some bit parts - playing a member of the pirate crew, standing in the background and yelling in Finnish - but he feels his talents can be used elsewhere. Namely, fire.

Having an angst-filled monologue? Need a magic fireball? Just want to look at some fire that symbolizes...something? Mohammed's got your dramatic lighting. Never mind that people not on the Retrospec app can't see his fires, he doesn't know that yet.]

C. Scriptwriting

[Fortunately for everyone, a professional historian is here to check up on the accuracy of the setting. Of course, he didn't focus his studies on ancient Scandinavia, but he knows more than most non-Finns. And it gives him authority to comb through the script between scenes, marking places that need work.]

We might have a cardboard display in a storage room of ruins carved into a stone. [For any scenes that require a vaguely magical location. Or as a metaphor for dreams.]

D. Wildcard!

[Mohammed is open to getting dragged into shenanigans!]

b

[buncho]

[ Mafuyu had sworn to Tuuri that she wouldn't burn down the city, but it looks like she doesn't have to: Mohammed is here to do that for her. She's ecstatic seeing him again, knowing full well what he's capable of, and hoping that the fact that there's at least one camera on him and rolling at all times means that he'll play along with her.

She takes a running start down the sidewalk, jumps on a little kid's wagon/makeshift "pirate ship" and rides it like a skateboard just long enough for it to build up momentum before leaping off and sending it crashing into a nearby trash can, denting the side and sending some of the overflowing taco wrappers flying. ]

The ship is moored! Now's our chance to seize control! Fire in the hole!

[ She whips her head around to look at Mohammed expectantly. That's his cue to BLOW SHIT UP, come on, hurry, the camera's waiting. ]

[parodeity]

I can probably pitch it up myself with effects later, but definitely do try to go higher? It'd sound a lil more natural.

[ NO HE JUST THINKS IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS ]

[parodeity]

[ dave loves mafuyu so much what the fuck. anyway he is trying really hard not to laugh and letting her just shove the masked face right up in the camera - he can dim this show when it happens and make it really foreboding maybe, or maybe he'll just make it as humorous as it feels - and gives her a thumbs up.

then he

starts reading lines with her kinda

look

his accent is terrible here. ]

But Captain, Rossakuni...ka...kakki doesn't seem to be aboard! She has escaped!

[evidentiary]

[ like, honestly? kyouko is a hungry college student so she will accept the taco. ]

My parents' jobs required travel abroad a great deal...I've had to pick up the ability to pick up languages, I suppose?

[evidentiary]

[ i'm so glad he wasted one use of his shield on a glitter bomb. ]

...Ymmärrän! [ "i understand" which she so does not. obviously throwing napkins against the win does nothing, so she twirls and aims a blow with her hilariously nerf foam sword at ryoji, a marine captain charging into battle. ]

[livingdeadgirl]

1. makeup!

[This may be Ami's first-ever dramatic production, but she's going all-in. She'll do her part to make Tuuri's independent film the biggest success it can be! And if there's one thing she knows, it's makeup. She doesn't have that Youtube channel for nothing!

She's commandeered a park bench for this purpose, complete with a magic-markered sign that says "MAKEUP DEPARTMENT". And she can definitely do effects makeup, although her skillset leans heavily toward Halloween and horror effects. Ghosts, skeletons, zombies, gore, bring it on!

For those who don't want full-face makeovers, though, she'll still be pulling people aside if she notices they aren't made up yet. Boys are very much not exempt!!]

Hold it! You can't go on camera without makeup!

2. action!

[But of course she'll also find time to act! Fortunately, this is the time of year that the October-only Halloween stores start ramping up, so finding a costume wasn't a problem at all, and she already owned several pairs of lace gloves. She went ahead and made herself up like a sugar skull, complete with flowers in her hair.

Her character's name is Rosa de la Calavera, and she has a whole huge backstory and intricate character motivations. She's something of a free agent in the Magic Pirates universe, an elegant whip-dancer whose only loyalty is to coin. Her lusus plays Rosa's loyal cryptid companion, Cordera.

(Apparently she missed the part where this was supposed to be a Finnish movie.....???)

Anyway! It's time to film yet another action scene on the pirate ship playground that the park totally has! There is absolutely no script for this part, but improv is basically the same as LARPing, right?]

So, we meet again... Come to settle our little score, have you?

3. wildcard!

[idk do whatever]

[windeity]

I.

[It's pretty much last-minute when Dave texts John with "hey so I signed you up to have plans for the next week" but it's not like he can really say no? Actually, he would have said yes anyway and it's for that reason he shows up on set with a couple of things. He's busy chattering at Dave with a bass strapped to his back and making wild hand gestures before he stops Dave in a space in the park.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, there's a keyboard appearing. One of them has their sylladex back and it's not John, so Dave gets to be the packhorse.

While Dave's running around being a cameraman, John's busy with a notebook in his hand and a pen behind his ear, occasionally squinting at his notes before playing a few chords of music. He seems to be in the writing and rewriting process with both instruments to create a soundtrack for the movie. Upon noticing anyone listening though, he'll perk up and smile.]

Hey, glad you're here. How do you think this sounds? [And there's a very old feel to the song, mostly piano bits for now with some strings and maybe accordion mixed in? What the fuck, John. The problem is that it actually probably sounds pretty decent, like maybe he did some research.]

II, joint with Dave

[Alternatively maybe you find him with an accompaniment in the form of Dave who actually isn't really helping that much just yet since he still has a camera. He glances up from the keyboard.]

Maybe record the actors instead of me? Just a thought.

[With that, he looks around for anybody he can drag into this before he waves you over.] So hey, I think we need some pick-up footage. Willing to volunteer?

[On the other hand, you may find the two of them sitting on a bench in the park later while John hands Dave a notebook with his notes, once again waving his hands a little and explaining. Something. Feel free to approach and crash the conversation.]

Wildcard

[When he's not working on music or anything like that, John can be found wandering and approaching people on his own if they look like they could use a hand with something. He may ask if you need assistance with whatever you're doing or he may just strike up a conversation…

…or hand out tacos. Whatever. Hit me with your best shot!]

[livingdeadgirl]

[So it's basically this prompt except they're on the pirate ship playground instead. They've been filming for a while, it's getting to be sunset, Ami has long ago given up on trying to figure out the plot, etc.

At the moment, her character and Mafuyu's are on the same side (she thinks?), so she's just gonna roll with that. First rule of improv is "yes, and!" She scurries to the bottom of the mast so that she stands even a slight chance of them both being in frame. Her lusus tags along, unsure what this shouty human's deal is. (it's funny because even humans don't know what this shouty human's deal is)]

Captain Meri! They ready their boarding hooks!