(open) i am wrong when chieko slumbers within me / i am right when i listen to her voice in my ear

[wordcarvings]

WHO: Koutarou
WHERE: The woods, streets, convenience stores, fast food stops
WHEN: 11th to 24th
WHAT: Koutarou goes to the woods and gets lost for a week. Then he comes back home and wanders in exhausted misery.
WARNINGS: None at the moment. Possibly the topic of death and mental illness if topics of the real past comes up.


[ Just remembering a name can mess up a lot. "Chieko"... A name that holds so much love...

And remembering it caused a whole lot of pain. Sleeptalking once too many times messes things up.

How could he have ever forgotten her name? Why did he even need to remember now? ]

11-17 || Recollé Woods
[ Koutarou feels both miserable and distracted, and for the first time since he was disowned, he calls in sick even though he isn’t. Back then it was as a student and this time he’s a teacher, and it’s a little different. It’s just as irresponsible, but at least it’s nine years since the last time.

Instead of staying in the city, he goes to the forest. He goes there because of a thing he remembered last month, probably from hearing Hitori’s thoughts in his head. He remembers hearing her voice in nature. Even though she wasn’t around any more.

He brings several sketchbooks along, and food, and he doesn’t care that he gets lost. Eventually he sits by the lake, sometimes visited by an animal. He stays there for days, working and listening, but he can’t hear anything except the nature no matter how hard he listens. Why does that make him want to cry? (He doesn’t notice that his sadness is showing through the speech bubbles. With the words of that thought (likely Japanese), or with images expressing them without letters.) ]

18-24 || Streets
[ Eventually giving up eventually, eventually finding the way out, he aimlessly wanders the streets the evening he finally reaches the city. He continues wandering late into the morning, during the day, during the next evening. The bubble sometimes appearing over his head, showing “眠い……。”, doesn’t bother him. He’s not tired. (He is, but he doesn’t want to sleep. He can’t sleep.) The “寒い……。” doesn’t mean anything either, he isn’t that cold. ]

18-24 || Food
[ Even if he doesn’t go to sleep, he sometimes remembers hunger, and he enters the closest open convenience store or fast food restaurant. If he nods off while still standing, don’t worry. He’ll wake up and continue looking for something to buy. ]

?? | Wildcard
[ So Koutarou has been dumped by his NPC girlfriend. He will miss a couple of classes. And so early in the new term, too, oops. ]

Comments

18th, streets

[thesettingsun]

[Even if there weren't the thought bubbles popping up - and Shuji's Tokyo-ben isn't flawless - Koutarou looks awful. Emotionally, physically, all kinds.

Shuji reaches to try to set a hand on Koutarou's shoulder.]

Hey, Koutarou.

[wordcarvings]

[ How kind of him to notice what Koutarou is failing to pretend is not a problem.

He didn't notice Shuji at all, and thus jumps as he's startled. ]

Ah! O-oh, h'llo, Tsushima-kun.

[thesettingsun]

You look... bad.

[No getting around that. Shuji isn't that sneaky - Koutarou should have noticed him.]

Do you want to sit down for a while?

[wordcarvings]

'm fine. [ He shakes his head, but stops because it makes him feel lightheaded and dizzy. ] Really, y'don' need to worry.

[ Yes, which is of course evidenced by his unusually heavy accent. ]

[thesettingsun]

You're not fine and I do need to worry. Come on, there's a bench over there.

[Sit down before you fall over.]

18th

[standalonehuman]

So. Here's the thing, Koutarou. You can't just vanish for a week without giving your best friend a heart attack. Togusa had been really quiet about his worry for fear that it would embarrass him whenever he got back if he was public with it. But there will be a few checking in texts, pictures of Daisuke, and missed phone calls on Koutarou's phone whenever he checks it again.

Togusa hadn't thought to check the woods. He'll kick himself for that later. So he doesn't find Koutarou until he resurfaces. Togusa is on patrol, and he isn't even sure that it's him for a second, he's been jumping at so many false alarms. But, no, there he is, wandering more aimlessly than usual.

"Koutarou!" Sheer relief, as Togusa rushes quickly to his side, paying zero attention to anybody else around them. He is instantly looking him over, for injury, for any possible sign of what could have happened to him.

[wordcarvings]

Officer Hitori Togusa sure knows how to scare someone so they nearly jump out of their skin. Or startle someone to that level, at least. Because Koutarou was definitely not paying attention to his surroundings, beyond the 'this is the sidewalk' and 'that's the street' and the random lamp-post he walked into before.

He stares up at Togusa with very wide, though still tired, eyes. He's not hurt at all, at least not physically, but he looks like shit after a week in the forest and what caused it. "Hi-Hitori?"

[standalonehuman]

His reactions are slow, not paying attention to his surroundings, but Togusa still managed to startle him. "Where have you been?" Still just absolutely relieved, but he can see there is something incredibly wrong with his friend.

The last time Koutarou looked like this? It was just after Togusa had met him. And his life was completely upheaved, even though he was committing to what he truly wanted out of life. There is a sinking feeling that forces Togusa to put a lid on his own reaction, looking at Koutarou with sympathy. "Something's happened. Hasn't it?"

His thoughts immediately jump to Koutarou's family. His father. Maybe he's sick. Or now his sister won't talk to him, either. Something bad. Togusa puts out a hand gently, like he wants to guide Koutarou someplace. Off the street, take him home.

[wordcarvings]

"I--" Something happened? Yes, but the words won't come to him.

"Woods," he murmurs, thoughts wandering back to his failed endeavor to hear her voice. Even though that's...insane, or something. For all he thinks about these memories, having her name back has changed things. They have changed a lot.

He can't explain what happened right now, the words gets stuck in his throat, but he manages to press out that. Where he's been.

[standalonehuman]

The woods? For a week!? That can't be all of it. Another look of concern, even though he knows Koutarou is physically fine. The worries about what could have happened only come to mind faster. Togusa's voice gentles as he reaches out to touch Koutarou's shoulder. "Come with me. Please. I'll take you home, get you some rest."

Togusa starts to lead Koutarou along, if he'll let him. He doesn't quite take his eyes all the way off of him. "You don't-" he shakes his head. "You don't have to explain right now if you don't want to. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

18th

[accordance]

[ It's later on in the afternoon that Lucian spots Koutarou in the streets. It's the other man's frail countenance that catches his attention; he'll rush to be at his side in an instant. ]

Hello?

[wordcarvings]

[ At first Koutarou blinks slowly, while he registers that someone spoke to him. At him? He can’t tell the difference at the moment. And he looks up, blinks a few more times. ]

Oh... Sensei...

[accordance]

[ The older man reaches out to steady his friend: ]

You need to rest. What happened?

[wordcarvings]

What happened..? I took a walk in the forest.

[ It wasn’t just a simple walk though. ]

[accordance]

How long have you been out there?

[ He'll give Koutarou more detailed scrutiny to see if he can glean any details. ]

18-24

[vitis]

[ ah, yes! nothing like roaming the streets at night. john spots koutarou's silhouette from afar; coupled with that demeanor, the sight of the kanji elicit a tiny flutter of concern. in greeting him, he'll keep his tone light, even if, tentative as what to make of this. ]

Hey, Professor.

[ hands shoved into his pockets, he glances down the street each way. it's dark, eerily lit by streetlamps. a bit of an odd time to happen upon faculty, he thinks-- then again, perhaps it's some business he couldn't guess at. ]

What's up?

[wordcarvings]

[ He blinks very slowly, as if he’s not really registering that it’s him he’s talking to.

“Professor” is something that he has not been called in a while. At least that’s what it feels like, since he has not been around people for the last couple days. And school has been out for summer, too. ]

Ah... Up...? [ He looks up. ] ...nothing...? [ You can’t see the stars in the city. ]

[vitis]

[ john doesn't even have to follow that gaze to know that... yeah, the sky is starless here. #cities, 'nough said. and while that sort of response isn't... terribly surprising, he does quirk an eyebrow. ]

I meant more— What're you up to? How are you? [ though it remains, his smile becomes more effortful. ] That sorta thing.

[wordcarvings]

[ English is a language that's difficult to pin down, particularly slang, when you're feeling out of it. ]

I'm... have... [ He makes a vague arm gesture. ] walking...

[vitis]

Oh.

[ yeah, the broken speech is a little tiny bit of a red flag. john raises his arms over his head, stretching in a leisurely manner despite this. ]

I'll join you, then, if you don't mind. [ he's hoping he at least has a destination in mind. ... koutarou actually doesn't have much of a choice when it comes to john joining him or not, actually.

he thinks it's an okay method of keeping an eye on the guy. ]

18th, food

[flowrite]

[So... Fai hasn't realized that Koutarou's been missing. And boy, is he going to feel like a shitheel about that here in about two minutes. It's been a crazy month so far though, trying to get back to normal after the monster invasion and the missions--not to mention the breakup. Fai's been distracted. But that's no excuse for being a shitty friend.

He's in the convenience store because he's gassing up the Prius (and this gas station/convenience store has really good coffee), and he almost doesn't even spot his good friend. Because... Koutarou is standing the next aisle over, near the cold doors along the wall, and he's not moving.

Is he... asleep?

Confused and a little concerned, Fai skirts around the aisle and comes up alongside him, reaching for his shoulder.]

Koutarou? Hey, are you okay?

[wordcarvings]

[ There is no way that Koutarou is going to notice right away. Since he is asleep. So Fai has to shake him a little while before his head snaps up and he blinks, surprised and confused and disoriented. ]

..huh....?

[flowrite]

[Okay, that's bad. Several possibilities occur immediately to Fai--drugged, drunk, some medical condition?--and none of them good. And here his good friend is, out in the open like this. Fai forgets his previous wariness about hugs and wraps his arms around Koutarou protectively.]

Koutarou, what's going on? Do you know where you are? What happened?

[wordcarvings]

[ It's nothing like that, he's just, not in his normal state of mind. And he has not been this out of it for nearly a decade.

The unexpected hug is familiar, and he looks at him in bewilderment. ]

Fai...? What's... I... Was getting food...

[flowrite]

[Still not good. Fai doesn't know what's wrong just yet, but even Koutarou's reaction isn't right. Fai keeps one arm around his friend and lifts his other hand to brush the hair from Koutarou's face.]

Koutarou you look--

[Well, terrible. But that's kind of mean to say. Fai presses his lips together for a moment.]

Come on, you're coming home with me. I'll get you something to eat when we get there.