(open) i am wrong when chieko slumbers within me / i am right when i listen to her voice in my ear

[wordcarvings]

WHO: Koutarou
WHERE: The woods, streets, convenience stores, fast food stops
WHEN: 11th to 24th
WHAT: Koutarou goes to the woods and gets lost for a week. Then he comes back home and wanders in exhausted misery.
WARNINGS: None at the moment. Possibly the topic of death and mental illness if topics of the real past comes up.


[ Just remembering a name can mess up a lot. "Chieko"... A name that holds so much love...

And remembering it caused a whole lot of pain. Sleeptalking once too many times messes things up.

How could he have ever forgotten her name? Why did he even need to remember now? ]

11-17 || Recollé Woods
[ Koutarou feels both miserable and distracted, and for the first time since he was disowned, he calls in sick even though he isn’t. Back then it was as a student and this time he’s a teacher, and it’s a little different. It’s just as irresponsible, but at least it’s nine years since the last time.

Instead of staying in the city, he goes to the forest. He goes there because of a thing he remembered last month, probably from hearing Hitori’s thoughts in his head. He remembers hearing her voice in nature. Even though she wasn’t around any more.

He brings several sketchbooks along, and food, and he doesn’t care that he gets lost. Eventually he sits by the lake, sometimes visited by an animal. He stays there for days, working and listening, but he can’t hear anything except the nature no matter how hard he listens. Why does that make him want to cry? (He doesn’t notice that his sadness is showing through the speech bubbles. With the words of that thought (likely Japanese), or with images expressing them without letters.) ]

18-24 || Streets
[ Eventually giving up eventually, eventually finding the way out, he aimlessly wanders the streets the evening he finally reaches the city. He continues wandering late into the morning, during the day, during the next evening. The bubble sometimes appearing over his head, showing “眠い……。”, doesn’t bother him. He’s not tired. (He is, but he doesn’t want to sleep. He can’t sleep.) The “寒い……。” doesn’t mean anything either, he isn’t that cold. ]

18-24 || Food
[ Even if he doesn’t go to sleep, he sometimes remembers hunger, and he enters the closest open convenience store or fast food restaurant. If he nods off while still standing, don’t worry. He’ll wake up and continue looking for something to buy. ]

?? | Wildcard
[ So Koutarou has been dumped by his NPC girlfriend. He will miss a couple of classes. And so early in the new term, too, oops. ]

Comments

18th, streets

[thesettingsun]

[Even if there weren't the thought bubbles popping up - and Shuji's Tokyo-ben isn't flawless - Koutarou looks awful. Emotionally, physically, all kinds.

Shuji reaches to try to set a hand on Koutarou's shoulder.]

Hey, Koutarou.

18th

[standalonehuman]

So. Here's the thing, Koutarou. You can't just vanish for a week without giving your best friend a heart attack. Togusa had been really quiet about his worry for fear that it would embarrass him whenever he got back if he was public with it. But there will be a few checking in texts, pictures of Daisuke, and missed phone calls on Koutarou's phone whenever he checks it again.

Togusa hadn't thought to check the woods. He'll kick himself for that later. So he doesn't find Koutarou until he resurfaces. Togusa is on patrol, and he isn't even sure that it's him for a second, he's been jumping at so many false alarms. But, no, there he is, wandering more aimlessly than usual.

"Koutarou!" Sheer relief, as Togusa rushes quickly to his side, paying zero attention to anybody else around them. He is instantly looking him over, for injury, for any possible sign of what could have happened to him.

[wordcarvings]

[ How kind of him to notice what Koutarou is failing to pretend is not a problem.

He didn't notice Shuji at all, and thus jumps as he's startled. ]

Ah! O-oh, h'llo, Tsushima-kun.

[wordcarvings]

Officer Hitori Togusa sure knows how to scare someone so they nearly jump out of their skin. Or startle someone to that level, at least. Because Koutarou was definitely not paying attention to his surroundings, beyond the 'this is the sidewalk' and 'that's the street' and the random lamp-post he walked into before.

He stares up at Togusa with very wide, though still tired, eyes. He's not hurt at all, at least not physically, but he looks like shit after a week in the forest and what caused it. "Hi-Hitori?"

[thesettingsun]

You look... bad.

[No getting around that. Shuji isn't that sneaky - Koutarou should have noticed him.]

Do you want to sit down for a while?

[standalonehuman]

His reactions are slow, not paying attention to his surroundings, but Togusa still managed to startle him. "Where have you been?" Still just absolutely relieved, but he can see there is something incredibly wrong with his friend.

The last time Koutarou looked like this? It was just after Togusa had met him. And his life was completely upheaved, even though he was committing to what he truly wanted out of life. There is a sinking feeling that forces Togusa to put a lid on his own reaction, looking at Koutarou with sympathy. "Something's happened. Hasn't it?"

His thoughts immediately jump to Koutarou's family. His father. Maybe he's sick. Or now his sister won't talk to him, either. Something bad. Togusa puts out a hand gently, like he wants to guide Koutarou someplace. Off the street, take him home.

[wordcarvings]

'm fine. [ He shakes his head, but stops because it makes him feel lightheaded and dizzy. ] Really, y'don' need to worry.

[ Yes, which is of course evidenced by his unusually heavy accent. ]

[wordcarvings]

"I--" Something happened? Yes, but the words won't come to him.

"Woods," he murmurs, thoughts wandering back to his failed endeavor to hear her voice. Even though that's...insane, or something. For all he thinks about these memories, having her name back has changed things. They have changed a lot.

He can't explain what happened right now, the words gets stuck in his throat, but he manages to press out that. Where he's been.

[standalonehuman]

The woods? For a week!? That can't be all of it. Another look of concern, even though he knows Koutarou is physically fine. The worries about what could have happened only come to mind faster. Togusa's voice gentles as he reaches out to touch Koutarou's shoulder. "Come with me. Please. I'll take you home, get you some rest."

Togusa starts to lead Koutarou along, if he'll let him. He doesn't quite take his eyes all the way off of him. "You don't-" he shakes his head. "You don't have to explain right now if you don't want to. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

[thesettingsun]

You're not fine and I do need to worry. Come on, there's a bench over there.

[Sit down before you fall over.]

18th

[accordance]

[ It's later on in the afternoon that Lucian spots Koutarou in the streets. It's the other man's frail countenance that catches his attention; he'll rush to be at his side in an instant. ]

Hello?

[wordcarvings]

He’s just fine....he wants to say, but he can’t. That would be a really bad lie, and he doesn’t really want to lie to him. Not when he’s one of the few people who know him so well. He doesn’t actually think it now, his mind is occupied with other thoughts, but he does think something along the lines.

Koutarou makes a humming sound but his mind is not really there. He lets Togusa lead him along, since he doesn’t have the energy to dig his heels in or resist.

[wordcarvings]

It’s fine...

[ But if Shuji were to drag him there he wouldn’t even try to stay where he is. ]

[wordcarvings]

[ At first Koutarou blinks slowly, while he registers that someone spoke to him. At him? He can’t tell the difference at the moment. And he looks up, blinks a few more times. ]

Oh... Sensei...

[standalonehuman]

The way through the streets passes in a blur, even for Togusa, far more concerned for Koutarou than the specifics of how they're getting there. But he's leading Koutatou to the atelier. It's closer, but Togusa also wants to put him back in his own home environment. As they walk, he drops a note to Ichirou. Funny that he seems to be reporting to him now. 'Going off-shift early, found a missing person.' Which is technically completely true.

Togusa stops at the door, hoping that the change will get Koutarou's attention. "Still got your key?" Or where the spare is? Koutarou's so absent-minded he knows he has to have one.

[accordance]

[ The older man reaches out to steady his friend: ]

You need to rest. What happened?

[thesettingsun]

Mhm, I'm sure you are.

[Shuji's going to drag him over to the bench anyway.]

[wordcarvings]

Koutarou barely notices that they’re going somewhere. He certainly doesn't notice where they’re going. But he doesn’t really know where he was when Togusa found him, either. He just looks down at the pavement passing in front of him and disappearing behind him.

Of course he has a spare key, it’s not unusual for Koutarou to forget his key at home. Or forget the spare key inside the atelier, or at the apartment. If it’s there, it’s inside the birdhouse on the tree right next to his window. It’s probably there, but if not, he has his keys in his bag...though he might have to dig around among the sketches and pens and food wrappers.

[wordcarvings]

What happened..? I took a walk in the forest.

[ It wasn’t just a simple walk though. ]

[wordcarvings]

[ He sits down on the bench when directed to it.. He doesn’t really have the energy to protest, anyway. But he doesn’t actually look at Shuji. ]

[standalonehuman]

Birdhouse. It would be amusing if the rest of the situation they are in isn't so serious. Togusa flips up the top of the house to find the key. It feels odd to lead Koutarou into his own house, but he does it without hesitation. Gently guides him by the arm to the couch, any spot that is clear of projects in progress or art supplies. Get him sitting down and have a better look at him.

Togusa crouches to get on Koutarou's eye level. "Better?" Probably not. "Koutarou. Whatever's happened, you dont need to deal with it on your own. Okay?" A hand goes to Koutarou's shoulder, squeezes gently. Give him some measure of grounding in where he is. His thoughts are still all focused on 'normal' possibilities for Koutarou, what could have gone wrong?

[thesettingsun]

[Shuji sits next to him, close enough to support him if he needs it.

He looks like he needs it.]

What's going on?

[accordance]

How long have you been out there?

[ He'll give Koutarou more detailed scrutiny to see if he can glean any details. ]

18-24

[vitis]

[ ah, yes! nothing like roaming the streets at night. john spots koutarou's silhouette from afar; coupled with that demeanor, the sight of the kanji elicit a tiny flutter of concern. in greeting him, he'll keep his tone light, even if, tentative as what to make of this. ]

Hey, Professor.

[ hands shoved into his pockets, he glances down the street each way. it's dark, eerily lit by streetlamps. a bit of an odd time to happen upon faculty, he thinks-- then again, perhaps it's some business he couldn't guess at. ]

What's up?

[wordcarvings]

He sits down on the couch as if he weighs ten, twenty times his actual weight. “‘m fine,” though for some reason he can’t snap out of the poorly pronounced English. His gaze wanders aimlessly, and the first time it really focuses on anything is when it passes over, and returns to, a framed photo of Ashlee and a pile of sketches all of Chieko underneath it....When did he put the photo on top of the drawings...?