Penelo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mincingminuet) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
recolle2017-08-26 02:50 am
mincingminuet) wrote in recolle2017-08-26 02:50 am
Entry tags:
[Closed] At the end of it all...
WHO: Penelopes and Freya
WHERE: Penelope's apartment
WHEN: Post Event
WHAT: A reunion, dinner, comparing notes from the last three weeks and other things
WARNINGS: Language, likely mention of violence, death, body horror, and other unpleasant topics.
The battle had left Penelope drained in a way that only a fight could, even more than three weeks of near constant anxiety and terror. When Retrospec's announcement had gone up and everything returned to normal, it'd all come crashing down at once and as loathe as she was to suggest splitting up...it had to happen for a time. Freya needed to get clothes and stuff from home, and probably needed to follow up with Minako, and Pen desperately needed not only a shower but also to calm the damn cat down.
And put in the order for food. Food was required. And not just any food. The best damn stuff she could get off Grubhub on short notice. So, she'd lent her girlfriend the car and set about these tasks, waiting for Freya's return. The delivery came quickly enough, and she'd stuck it in the oven to keep it warm. Steaks, potatoes, greens, a jug of water and a nice bottle of red wine Yuff had left before she'd frittered off for the weekend like nothing weird had happened. At least they'd not have to deal with that particular distraction.
Glancing up at the clock from her perch on the seat nearest the door, Pen rocks back and forth, an uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach. It'd only been a day. Plenty of time for reality to shift again. She hopes that's just anxiety talking, and she wants to hope that she'll hear the keys turning in the lock soon...but can she really expect it?
WHERE: Penelope's apartment
WHEN: Post Event
WHAT: A reunion, dinner, comparing notes from the last three weeks and other things
WARNINGS: Language, likely mention of violence, death, body horror, and other unpleasant topics.
The battle had left Penelope drained in a way that only a fight could, even more than three weeks of near constant anxiety and terror. When Retrospec's announcement had gone up and everything returned to normal, it'd all come crashing down at once and as loathe as she was to suggest splitting up...it had to happen for a time. Freya needed to get clothes and stuff from home, and probably needed to follow up with Minako, and Pen desperately needed not only a shower but also to calm the damn cat down.
And put in the order for food. Food was required. And not just any food. The best damn stuff she could get off Grubhub on short notice. So, she'd lent her girlfriend the car and set about these tasks, waiting for Freya's return. The delivery came quickly enough, and she'd stuck it in the oven to keep it warm. Steaks, potatoes, greens, a jug of water and a nice bottle of red wine Yuff had left before she'd frittered off for the weekend like nothing weird had happened. At least they'd not have to deal with that particular distraction.
Glancing up at the clock from her perch on the seat nearest the door, Pen rocks back and forth, an uncomfortable knot forming in her stomach. It'd only been a day. Plenty of time for reality to shift again. She hopes that's just anxiety talking, and she wants to hope that she'll hear the keys turning in the lock soon...but can she really expect it?
no subject
It's painful, watching this, seeing someone she cares for coming undone by a memory. Keeping her eyes low, hands in easy reach, she's quiet for several long moments. It's worse when Freya goes limp, the fight going out of her, her mouth working in voiceless concern. When she does speak, her voice is thick and heady with emotion, concern and fear and confusion and so many other feelings bubbling up inside.
"It matters because no matter what she did, what she went through, you...have an extra layer of experiences. You have this life. With the people here. We're here to help you, baby," she says, leaning lower. "I'm here for you. Just...let me support you, like you've supported me."
no subject
She's not some survivor that's had a lifetime to learn to handle an unnecessarily cruel world, or some hero monsterslayer whose lifeblood is strife and danger. Freya's just a young woman, barely more than a kid, from some happy sub-urban middle-class family. The starvation and injury and stress and death and pain was too much.
She's... Freya. Wild and determined and independent, who always gets up to throw herself at the problem again and again until something works. She's never been the one to break first. She's had her low points and failures, but this... was something else entirely, a new kind of defeat. She's not used to feeling so small and powerless—no, she thinks bitterly, powerless was nothing new, judging by the last day.
But right now, she just wants to duck and hide and let Penelope shelter her, and the feeling's so alien that it almost scares her as much as everything else.
no subject
It hurts, a cold knife against her spine, to watch this. She feels helpless, useless, weak and defenseless most of the time but that's okay because Freya's here. Or, it was. Things change, roles reverse sometimes. The last few weeks have changed that, made her a little harder, a little more able, and a lot more willing to take on Freya's burdens. She can, she will, be the rock that her partner needs as much as she needs Freya. It's a frightening thought, knowing that something out there, in another reality, had shaken her this badly but it wasn't insurmountable.
Holding firm, quiet settles over her, hand curling beneath the dark haired woman to deepen the hug. She doesn't know what else she can do, or what else she can say...but she has this feeling that words aren't what Freya needs. She just needs someone, and frighteningly enough, Penelope wants to be that someone. Needs to be that someone.
It's a fleeting thought, that there's something more than just attraction and friendship and camaraderie between them. It's a notion she's run from often enough, but it's there...just outside of her conscious thought, and it's not going away.
no subject
Freya has no idea how long she's like that. Her shaking stills, at some point, and her breathing gradually evens. Freya lies there in the embrace for a while longer, exhausted and doing her damnest not think, or exist in general.
The tall woman sucks in a long breath, eventually, turning on her side in order to rest her face against Pen's shoulder and slip an arm around her waist. Her mind's still foggy, almost numb, but her thoughts feel... steadier, Freya guessed.
It takes several moments of staring in the brightening light to realize what she's seeing. "...you're bleeding." Or Pen was, at some point; it's long dried, those claw marks from the cat's panicked launching point.
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When Freya speaks, Pen looks down and huffs a soft laugh, bringing her free hand up to rub at the dried smears of blood.
"Oh. The cat scratched me when you woke up. Not deep. It's fine."
Shifting her still grey gaze, patient and warm, she flashes a smile.
"Don't you worry about me."
no subject
Even though she's stopped crying, parts of her face are still damp. It kind of itches. Her heart swells at that smile, affirming that she'd rather be no where else other than under her girlfriend's arm. No; it was more like nowhere else existed than here.
A grateful smile tiredly flickers over Freya's face before it fades and she closes her eyes. Pen had asked what she'd seen. That felt like ages ago.
"The vision," Freya murmurs. "'Nother big, metal monster. Big fuckin' surprise." It takes a couple tries and a steadying breath to utter her next words. "Was torturing me."
Notably 'me,' not 'her.' Freya was too worn out to maintain that kind of separation right now. She felt ever bit of it; it might as well been her.
no subject
"Big metal monster," she repeats, shuddering at the thought. The thoughts, the subtle difference in how Freya spoke, referring to the other self as 'me' now. That was not lost on her, and it gave her pause.
Closing her eyes, she shook her head, fist balling up around the sheet.
"It won't torture you anymore, Freya. If some metal fucker shows up and so much as looks at you funny, I'll kill it. Don't you worry. It won't live long enough to lay a finger on you. I promise, you're safe with me."
no subject
"I know," Freya mumbles, and it's not a dismissal of any kind. "I trust you. I just..."
She probably would've shuddered if she had the energy left. Instead, Freya nuzzles faintly at Pen's shoulder before giving a heavy sigh. "Christ. Didn't think anything could hurt that much. 'specially after the tonberry." A weak shake of her head. "Every time I started to black out, it... did something. Something warm that brought me back, eased the pain. Like Bahamut does. It'd spout some nonsense I'd barely understand, then... do it again."
And again, and again, and again. Freya wasn't exactly sure how many times, or how long it took. All she could think and feel and perceive during those moments was pain. Time was a trivial concern.
no subject
She has some idea of what had happened, at least. Not from experience, but she's certainly read enough fantasy books and seen enough anime to know that's a common tactic in some really fucked up villain's handbooks. She squeezes Freya's head in her arms a little, kissing it frantically, breathing in and out.
"But it won't hurt you again. I've got a giant monster of my own now. Nobody'll ever get away with doing anything like that to one of my people again. Just remember that, baby. Nothing gets away with hurting my people. I don't care if it's God or Godzilla."
Stupid things said in the heat of the moment, but after the last three weeks? She means them. She absolutely positively means them.
"But that's not happening. You're safe here, in my arms. No monsters. Just you, me...and one fat, annoyed cat."
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"I thought you said no monsters," Freya mumbles, and there's the littlest trace of dry humor to it among that resignation and fatigue.
She didn't doubt that Pen would fight anything for her in the least; she's seen how fierce and stubborn her partner could be. But... she couldn't protect Freya from the shadows of the experience, the ones her mind kept anxiously and uncharacteristically fixating on.
no subject
"He's only a monster when he wants attention."
And speaking of that, there's another flump sound and Fluffernutters heads right for them after a flying leap onto the bed. Headbutting Freya's knee affectionately.
"Like now I guess."
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As much as Freya always low-key sniped at that cat, she always welcomed him whenever he curled up next to her. She didn't reach down to greet him, this time; remaining molded against Pen was a much higher priority.
"You sure are something," the taller woman mumbles, the slow and candid quality of her tone starkly different from the dry sarcasm prior.
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She hums thoughtfully at the much more genuine statement, closing her eyes and rolling that around in her head a moment before deciding what to say. She didn't want to deny it, because it was definitely high praise and it made her heart soar, but she wasn't doing anything she thought was particularly remarkable either.
At last, she manages.
"I try. But so are you, Freya."
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"Course I am," the taller woman murmurs with a shadow of her usual arrogance, "when I'm not a sobbing mess. Sorry to wake you like that."
Christ. She must've damn near given her partner a heart attack. Or the cat.
no subject
"It's fine, Freya. You needed it. Sometimes we all need a good cry. You've...been lucky not to see me bawling, but it used to happen more often."
It's honestly likely the Freya's the reason she doesn't. She hadn't even cried in Unreality, not really. A few tears, but not the crying fits she'd had a year ago.
"Don't ever worry about needing to let go like that. Not with me."
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Freya turns her head enough to press a gentle kiss to Pen's shoulder, and settles her head back down. This whole month was so utterly draining. She'd get on her feet in the morning (or... later in the morning, whatever time it was), but for now, Freya just wanted to be still.
"Better be 'cause you don't bawl your eyes out, not 'cause you're hidin' it from me."
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"It's because I don't need to. The problems I'd have to cry about aren't problems anymore. Not with you around, dear."
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How the hell did this girl get to be the center of her world?
"You're a sweetheart."
She could feel the heavy steps of the cat climbing carefully over them, a low, insistent rumble growing closer.
no subject
The cat's footsteps barely disturbed Pen's nuzzling. And the big butterball settling up against their legs, purring like a diesel engine hardly did either.
It was funny, how quickly this had gone, and how in six months this person had become as closer to her as Vaan ever was. They were worlds different in some ways, but in the ones that really mattered? They were just like two cinnamon hearts, filled in the same little mold.