recolle | retrospec support group

Entry tags:

retrospec support group | OPEN

WHO: Fai + EVERYONE
WHERE: Maudlin House in Viea Village, recreation room, basement
WHEN: Saturday, July 8 from 2pm to 6pm
WHAT: Retrospec Support Group! Literally everyone is welcome. I will be putting up comment headers for both the large and small group sessions--once these are up, feel free to add your own comments to any section to represent what your character is sharing (or not) and tag out to other people's comments! Or add a top level if your character is simply hanging out or doing something different than attending a session. If you have any questions feel free to pm me!
WARNINGS: Mental health discussions. Please add warnings to your own threads if need be.

At first, looking at the state of the old plantation house, you might be tempted to think you've got the wrong address. The place is kind of a mess, sorry about that. A small, simple sign near the front door proclaims "RSPEC MEETING TODAY, 2PM TO 6PM, BASEMENT. COME ON IN."

When you make it to the basement, however, Fai's done his best to organize the place. The recreation room is mostly put together, with rows of chairs and a table to one side with various refreshments: punch, coffee, tea, and an assortment of donuts and muffins. Fai will be there to greet everyone with a big, cheery smile and a friendly word, and will suggest everyone get something to eat and drink and then have a seat.

After the large group session, Fai will break everyone apart into small groups and flutter between them to act as a facilitator, getting each group started and then moving on to the next. Feel free to poke him at any point during this process with questions or concerns, or come find him during a lull if you need to speak to him one-on-one about something.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

About fifteen minutes late, Fai will head to the front of the group (however large or small it ends up being) and waves everyone's attention. (For those who haven't met him yet, he has a faint but recognizable French accent.)

"Hello everyone! Thank you so much for coming. As you probably know by now my name is Fai, and I'm here to act as a facilitator. I'm not here to preach or lecture or anything like that. What I really want to do is just to get people talking--and I think we all know why we're here, right? And hey, if you're new to the Retrospec app and all of this chaos, it's definitely worth a listen. We're not trying to scare you, we're just trying to warn you what might be coming down the road for you.

"In this large group we'll stand up and take turns, and then we'll break up into the smaller sessions here in a while. When you stand up, feel free to talk about anything relevant to your experience since the app first downloaded for you. Any memories, experiences with the city going haywire, strange items arriving in the mail? Have you discovered you're able to do anything you weren't able to do before?"

At that last part, Fai holds up a hand and light starts to pour out of it. He turns his hand and aside from the light, there's nothing else in it. Yep, that's definitely magic.

"Anything like this? Any physical changes? We'll go into the specifics more in the small group sessions, but you're welcome to talk about anything here and now. Tell us about yourself, tell us what you're going through. Or just tell us why you decided to come today, if the rest of it is too difficult. And if you don't want to talk that's fine too. Sit back and be a friendly ear for someone else.

"Now! Any volunteers?"

Shuji had been all for this group, so of course he shows up. And he even manages to stand up and volunteer first, before anyone else. He's normally bad around groups, and he doesn't ask for help very well, but he's having enough trouble that even he recognizes therapy would be a good idea.

"My name is Shuji, and last month I remembered killing myself."

Whelp, that's one way to start the evening.

Tatsuo had come only intending to listen. He's still pretty uncomfortable sharing the memories of his other self, even with the people he's close to. But Shuji coming right out and talking about a memory like that... Tatsuo is a little hopeful, that this group discussion thing might actually help.

"Damn, that must have been scary as hell," he says, his voice low. In a way, he's referring to both the memory itself and talking about it.

"It was," Shuji answers. He's also talking about both the memory and discussing it among strangers. "It's a memory, so you can't change how it goes... even if it's something you really don't want to experience. It's like - you're a backseat driver to yourself, except yourself is making some really bad decisions."

Shuji thinks hallucinomemory him could have used some therapy of his own.

"I can't get it out of my head."

Shuji is pretty much describing exactly how Tatsuo feels about the whole memory experience and he nods in agreement.

"Backseat driver is a really good way to describe it. I've been thinking of it like wanting off a roller coaster, but I like your analogy better. Captures that feeling of lack of control more."

That sense that you should be in the driver's seat, but for whatever reason you aren't, and someone else is dicking around with the steering wheel however they want. Nevermind you're in the backseat about to barf your guts out.

"You might want to ask Fai about how to deal with the imagery. I've had some shocking things turn up in mine, but nothing quite like yours."

"I should do that. Even if it's not exactly the same, some of the stuff people use for normal trauma might work for me."

Time to look up PTSD flashbacks on his own time and be evasive if anyone asks why a college student is interested in that.

"I think it would. Even if we didn't experience any of it ourselves, the new memories feel enough like one of our own memories that I think our brains have trouble differentiating. I worry that eventually, I'm going to get one and not realize it's not mine."

"I think that's pretty unlikely. Backseat driver thing - even if it was somehow close enough to where you were that it didn't seem weird, you'd realize you're not in control."

So that's one small comfort.

"I hope you're right."

Tatsuo runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

"I really don't want to accidentally think this guy's life is mine. It is way too dangerous."

"I'm pretty sure I'd never accidentally think I was dead, but some other stuff, maybe..."

Now he's actually considering what he could possibly mistake for being part of his own life.

"Well, there is Cotard delusion, but yeah, the other stuff. Like other-me's embarrassing conversations with his supervisor at work, or his workmates ragging on him about various things. I'm starting to recognize certain people from memory to memory. Eventually they could be as familiar to me as people in real life. And that's just... weird. Especially since some people are seeing others from this life in their memories."

"You have a point, but I think it'd take a lot of memories for them to be as familiar as the people you know well. If somebody from one of my memories gets to be more familiar than some classmate I only see now and then and never talk to, that's not the worst thing that could happen."

...Don't ask him what the worst thing would be.

Tatsuo would rather not know what the worst thing is. For him, it'd be if he starts forgetting his current life, leaving him with just memories of his other-self.

"No, you could almost consider them imaginary friends that way. If they're friendly in your other self's memories that is."

"Otherwise, they'd be imaginary enemies or something, right?"

That gets a chuckle, albeit a weak one. Some of this Retrospec ridiculousness is funny, if he doesn't think about it too hard.

"Yeah, something like that! Or imaginary arch rivals. I think my other self has one of those. This one guy is always giving him funny looks. Do you have any reoccurring individuals in your other self's memories?"

"Not yet. I only have a few memories so far, but they're about different people. Makes it hard to tell who's important to me and who's not."

He thinks the police guy is just the police guy who interrogated him and not a recurring figure, probably...

"That would make it rather hard. What's your other self like? His life? If you don't mind telling."

You know, other than the whole killed himself bit.

"He was a writer, apparently, and pretty proud of it. Japanese, living... sometime between the nineteen hundreds and nineteen forties? I'm kind of guessing here."

He doesn't know that much at all, really.

"Forty or fifty years isn't a bad range. You'd probably need some sort of historian to help you figure out exactly when from context clues. So what do you think of the whole reincarnation theory?"

There's a slight change in tone when Tatsuo gets to 'reincarnation'. It's not derisive, but he clearly does not buy the theory.

"Well, my guy is definitely dead, that's one thing the theory has going for it. But I'm pretty solidly in 'we don't know enough to say anything with any confidence' camp right now. Reincarnation's possible, but so is us being brainwashed or something like that." Shrug. "The question's worth thinking about, but I wouldn't get worked up about it when it's pretty much impossible to answer."

Conspiracy theorize responsibly, kids.

This was more than awkward. While his position in life had made him above group therapy, Yoon-sung did spend a few short weeks talking to a court-appointed therapist over his little stint of getting kidnapped. Even then it had been awkward and tense and he spent a majority of that time slipping into the business BS trick of saying a lot of nothing. That doctor probably knew what he was doing but didn't bother with pressing him, instead just saying that he was normal and leaving it at that.

That was in Korea though, where mental health issues were not considered proper to discuss about, let alone actually fixed properly. The States were different and it always amused and made him uncomfortable at how people talk about matters so much easier in equal measures.

So when it became his turn, he snorted, curled his fingers in the overly long sleeves of his sweater and then stood up. "I'm Yoon-sung Lee and my more recent hallucinomemory is where I used an apple to take out the eye of a rival gang member."

At that confession, Ami tenses up and bites her lower lip. She looks as if she's desperate to say something, and the effort involved in forcing herself not to is actually physically taxing.

Talk about the apple of his eye.

Talk about the apple of his eye.

Whatever you do, don't say "the apple of his eye."

Edited 2017-07-08 22:23 (UTC)

Ami only decided to come to this event at the last minute. She's been on Retrospec for a little over two months, but only in the last few days has the novelty and excitement worn off enough for it to really sink in, the magnitude of what's happening and what's going to happen... and the fact that it's irreversible. It scares her.

At the same time, though, she's already having second thoughts about showing up. With Maudlin House so old and poorly maintained, even though it was broad daylight, she stepped off the bus and felt like she was walking straight into a horror movie. You know, the movie where some woman returns to her childhood home, never sure what mysterious force is drawing her toward it... until that first night. And when she sees the sign directing her to the basement, her instant thought is DON'T GO IN THE BASEMENT. Trust her - she's seen enough horror movies to know where this is going.

But, you know, if the place is haunted, at least Ami will be the first to know.

She finds the room all right, but she also finds herself dreading her turn. She's not sure which issue to start with, or how to phrase it. Or even if, maybe, she's overreacting and shouldn't have come...

But she's here now. And with a start, she realizes they've moved on to her. "Oh! Um." She swallows nervously. "My name's Ami. And, uh... I see dead people."

Tatsuma's remained fairly quiet up until now - less because of reluctance to discuss his own problems and more because he's... honestly more concerned about the others than himself. If nothing else, his other self seemed to have a pretty good handle on things, despite those things being anything from zombies to assassins, apparently.

Ami's words catch him off guard though, and it's this that prompts him to finally speak up.

"You too...?"

When she brought it up, Ami wasn't really thinking about what reaction to expect from the others. It's not even the thing she's most concerned about, or that's been giving her an existential crisis in the past couple days. Truth is, she chose to mention that almost as a throwaway line, because out of the stuff that might happen, it felt the most ... normal.

So when there's a reaction other than 'lol Haley Joel Osmont,' that surprises her. "Yeah," she says, but now, with that context, she takes another look at Tatsuma and remembers where she's seen him before. "You were out in the forest that night, right? With Pen and Mr. Doushi and the others."

He nods in response. "That was the first time I started seeing them. I couldn't hear them then."

Not like he can now.

She picks up on the bit he leaves unspoken. "Have you run into any since then? What'd they say?"

He looks uncertain at this part, thinking over his words carefully.

"...When we went into an old school, I could hear children laughing. There was a boy who wanted Roddy to follow him, but he wouldn't talk to me."

A pause, and then:

"Also, I heard someone scream when we left. It was like there was a fire..."

"Roddy?" The name's not familiar off the top of her head. "Huh... Maybe there was one. If that's where the children died, it'd explain why their spirits were hanging around..."

It's possible, but...

"That means something happened at that school."

It's entirely possible, certainly. But it doesn't exactly paint a great picture, either.

Feel free to comment here with what your character is doing/sharing during this small group discussion!

Edited 2017-07-07 03:11 (UTC)

Feel free to comment here with what your character is doing/sharing during this small group discussion!

He's fluttering around like a tall, lanky butterfly, always smiling. Come poke him if you have any questions or concerns, or need to talk about something you'd rather not share with everyone!

(Also feel free to use him for your "Prank an authority figure" bingo square, if that's your thing.)

[Looking at his appearance, you can definitely tell he is not the type to prank someone nor the type to spread rumors. Unfortunately, those are his next activities as he approaches Fai after he arrived at the support group. He just bought a jolly buzzer and he knows that if he ignores this, it will be too late for him to finish the game.

Although, at least he has a good reason for approaching the organizer of this group as well.]

Bonjour. Can I ask a few questions regarding the group before I can join in?

[He then offers him a handshake as part of his greeting while trying his best to hide the buzzer from his eyesight.]

[Fai's off to one side in the recreation room, making sure the refreshments are still in order and well-stocked and keeping an eye out for any newcomers as people start to gather. As someone approaches he wears a friendly smile and turns toward him, a cup of coffee in his off-hand.]

Ah, of course! But your pronunciation is very good, are you from France?

[He reaches out to take the proffered hand, suspecting nothing--and nearly jumps out of his skin at the sound and the sensation of the buzzer as their palms meet. He also manages to slop some of his coffee... hopefully not on Augustine!]

Half-French. I lived here with a French father and Japanese mother, but I did learn French in Paris during college.

[With any action has consequences and this one has no exceptions. Well, it's just that his shirt is stained by coffee, but it's better than being treated a bad guy.]

I-I'm sorry!

[But Fai is already laughing, seemingly unperturbed by the prank. He pulls his hand back and brings it up to cover his mouth, chagrin partially replacing the light-hearted expression on his face at the sight of the coffee all over the other man's shirt.]

Oh god, I'm so sorry, my coffee!

[He quickly sets the rest of the cup down on a nearby table and reaches for the stack of napkins on the refreshments table.]

Here, let me--!

[At least Fai is okay about what was happened as he is relieved that he is taking his prank okay. But considering his little action, Augustine helps him out by grabbing a few more napkins and wipes the stain off his shirt.]

N-No... That's okay. At least you're not mad at what I did to you.

[As soon as he's sure the other man isn't going to yell at him for spilling coffee all over his shirt, Fai relaxes back into that easy laughter.]

No, I'm fine! Not even a blow to my pride, really!

[After a moment he stands back and lets Augustine wipe at his own shirt, since another pair of hands really won't be very helpful now that he has a decent stack of napkins. Also being that close to a stranger might seem a little weird.]

Do you joy-buzzer everyone you meet, or am I special?

N-No. It was just for my bingo game, which is to "Prank an authority figure". I figured that a joy buzzer trick would count.

Still, I'm sorry if I tricked you on that handshake.

[Though judging by how Fai dealt with this little incident, he feels that he can forgive him.]

Oh, right! I've got that square too, I just hadn't figured anything out for it yet! [He laughs] Although I have to say it's a little strange being considered an authority figure myself! That's a new one on me~

[He shakes his head, still laughing]

Really, it's okay! Actually I think the joy-buzzer was a really good idea, I'm sure there are some people out there who would have picked a much meaner prank than that!

At least you're okay about it. I just thought about it when I reread my bingo card on what should I do next.

To be honest, the activities I've been assigned to seems to be leaning towards some animal-related ones like petting a rabbit and dressing up a wild animal.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

retrospec support group | OPEN

LARGE GROUP DISCUSSION

suicide tw

Re: suicide tw

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omg i'm so sorry, i went out of town for the weekend and meant to get back to this before i left

s'alright, nothing to be sorry for!

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CW violence

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SMALL GROUP - MEMORIES

SMALL GROUP - POWERS/ABILITIES

SMALL GROUP - ITEM REGAINS

SMALL GROUP - PHYSICAL CHANGES

One-on-one discussion / come poke Fai

Prank Bingo (Sorry in advance, Fai)

it's ok he probably deserves it ;)

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