recolle | whatever happened to predictability [ CLOSED ]

WHO: Peridot and Kurt
WHERE: Peridot's apartment
WHEN: 2/12
WHAT: Kurt hasn't yet watched the hit Netflix revival "Bigger Condo" and Peridot is going to fix that.
WARNINGS: bad puns and cheesy 90s television

[ It had been a little over a week since they discussed it, but Peridot hadn't forgotten her about her plans with Kurt on this weekend after Founder's Day. And, to make sure he hadn't either, she sent him no less than five (5) text messages at 6:00 AM on Saturday morning. It's finally time. They're going to watch Bigger Condo and it's going to be amazing.

Peridot manages to organize the chaos in her living room and stakes out her territory first thing in the morning so her roommates don't think they can just encroach on her binge-watching marathon. It's probably a little unnecessary - they tend to avoid wherever Peridot is hanging out. Their loss!

She's even got snacks - in bowls! Doritos, pretzels, M&Ms, and...chia seeds? She didn't buy them to eat, really. She just thinks the concept of eating seeds like a bird is funny. Maybe Kurt will eat some and sprout some funny green hair like those clay animals on TV!

Once she's got everything queued up (including her extensive analysis breaking down each episode), she sits on the couch and waits for him to arrive while playing Tetris on a classic Gameboy. This game is brutal, but she's on such a high level! Because she's so good. At everything.

It feels like it's gonna be a great day! ]

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[The texts weren't the best thing to wake up to, even though he went back to sleep afterwards. But eventually he makes his way over to Peridot's apartment, dressed lazily in some sweats and a t-shirt under his light jacket, and he knocks on her door with a "shave and a haircut"-style knock.]

[ Aha! He's here! Peridot pauses her game and does a barrel roll over the back of her couch to answer the door. ]

Come in, come in! Don't worry, there's no one to impress in here.

[ Shade about his attire THROWN. Not that she's doing much better in patchy jeans and one of her many green flannel shirts. ]

You're right about that! [He says in an attempt to deflect the shade, as he cracks a smile when she answers the door.]

Yo yo Peri! Whattup? [Kurt proceeds to saunter on into the room, with a box of pop-tarts in hand!]

[ Wow, what's the fun of it if he doesn't get mad??? Whatever, he brought Poptarts, and she requires little else.

She shuts the door before scurrying into the living room after him. ]

Oh, not much. I was just about to hit a personal high score in Tetris. I'm kind of a Tetris whiz.

[That's where all the fun comes from!!]

Tetris?! Whoa, now that's really old school! [He looks even more surprised when he notices that Game Boy.] Why are you playing it on that giant brick?

It's not a brick, you uncultured pleb! [ She holds up the Gameboy so he can see what a perfect specimen of Gameboy-ness it is. ] It's an original Gameboy. I found it at the Goodwill for fifteen dollars! What a steal, huh? I've become quite the bargain hunter.

I dunno man, don't they sell stuff like this for like five dollars? [He's probably thinking of some different sort of old-fashioned handheld, but regardless he reaches over to try to snatch the game boy from her.] Lemme check this out!

[ She draws the Gameboy in and holds it tightly in a vice-like grip against her chest. DO YOU DARE REACH THERE, KURT. ]

Watch it, clod! What if you unpause the game and ruin my masterful streak of block breakage? It would be a complete travesty! Even more than your lack of Bigger Condo viewership!

[HE DARES NOT. His hand just freezes in midair for a moment, and he silently retracts it.

It's okay though, Kurt just laughs it off and becomes chill.]

Fine then, enjoy your little... um, block breakage. [He shrugs as he looks towards the tv.] So are we aiming for preventing both travesties here? ...Man, saying it like that, I almost feel like a time traveler!

[ You have chosen...wisely.

Peridot quickly moves into the kitchen and carefully - very carefully - lays the Gameboy down on the counter. Rest for a moment, good Gameboy. But do not lose power or there will be hell to pay. ]

For all you know, you are a time traveler. [ Like, doesn't everyone wonder that about themselves at one point or another. ] I think it's safe to say we'll cover both. So sit your butt down so we can get the good times rolling!

[ She sure sounds jovial for one so bossy. ]

What? I'm pretty sure I'd know if I was a time traveler! [He says with an uncertain laugh. Regardless, he makes his way to the couch and plops down upon it. If there's a table near the couch, there should be no doubt that his feet are about to go up on it.]

Man, I'm not sure if I've ever seen you this excited!

Would you? [ She asks, giving him a direct and uncharacteristically serious look.

And then

she starts humming the X-Files theme song and flops down onto the couch next to him. No decorum is observed here and she puts her feet up on the snack-strewn table as well. ]

Just wait until we get into it, then! You have no idea what's coming! [ Unless he expects 90s cheese and good, old fashioned family fun, which is exactly what he's gonna get. She powers on the TV and boots up Netflix on some sort of Roku Apple Stick Box that lets her pirate 12,000 channels from Russia or something. ]

[He rolls his eyes at the X-Files theme, but he also snorts a slight laugh at it. She's an entertaining goofball at least!]

I think I have the general ideas down... [He says lightly. Because that is pretty much what he expects! He blinks as she does her thing.]

Dude, that's some set-up you've got there! Far out!

Impressive, isn't it? Don't worry. I know.

[ And she grins because his reaction is exactly the kind she likes best. A few quick inputs on the remote and bam, the opening for Bigger Condo starts playing. ]

I hope you don't have to go to the bathroom or anything, because you're going glued to your seat until the last episode's credits roll!

[ She doesn't mean that literally.

Probably. ]

[...Kurt shifts a little in his seat uneasily, just to make sure, and then he gives a nervous laugh.]

What, no commercial breaks?

[But he does smile nostalgically as the credits roll.]

Whoa, everyone's really gotten older! ...Except Uncle Jazzy, why does he still look exactly the same?

whatever happened to predictability [ CLOSED ]

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oh god this is my first time actually seeing the opening