OPEN.

[parodeity]

WHO: dave strider + open as heck!
WHERE: various places
WHEN: various times through the end of the month
WHAT: time shenanigans! if you need a time travel related regain this may be relevant 2 you. or if you just want to go wtf @ dave, also. also, a sord...
WARNINGS: idiocy

WEDNESDAY MAY 17TH OPTION A

[ it might be imperative to know how to track dave down or contact him in person for this one, because while you might see him, you'll basically see him messing around with some floating records. he scratches them, and a strange red gear (or a lot of them) pop into existence and turn and then dave is just Gone. his expression before he disappears is at least entirely startled, even though he's usually pretty good about keeping a poker face.

clearly this was an alien abduction. oops. ]

WEDNESDAY MAY 17TH OPTION B

[ the first time, it was an accident. he woke up to a new bullshit item, he fucked around with new bullshit item, and...

...well, shit happened. the second time it wasn't so much an accident, and the third time it was on purpose, but it's a whole chain of events that leads to idiocy like this: dave strider standing beside himself in intense conversation in apprassage, in one of the many walk-around paths. it's not like he's ever been secretive about having a twin, but that twin is a girl, and shorter than him, and not...you know, dave, duplicated. and also there is only one of her, but there seems to be a third dave jogging down the path in the opposite direction, and

this is so STUPID

what are they saying? well, if you're close enough, you'll notice that one of the daves is significantly more frustrated than the other, who just looks Tired As Hell. ]

- don't understand why you won't.

[ the response is: ] Because you didn't. Anyway, just do what you're gonna do, man.

With what - oh, shit. [ apparently he didn't expect to get caught doing...whatever the hell he is doing. ]

SATURDAY MAY 20TH

[ there's just one of him right now, but dave looks absolutely fucking exhausted. there are probably dark circles under his eyes, but who can tell with the shades? he approaches you apparently at random and says: ]

Yo. So, I gotta talk to you, if you got a second?

[ ...it's mostly because of Really Stupid Reasons, and his deadpan tone conveys the idea that he finds this entire thing really. dumb. ]

TUESDAY MAY 23RD

[ tuesday the 23rd dave doesn't seem to be doing any time travel practice or anything Weird, except he's kind of hanging out in the park at some point kind of idly holding a terrible sword. like. its not even worthy of a "w", this is a sord... of idiotic proportions.

he can recognize most network people by face, but even if he doesn't know you, there's one relevant question to ask: ]

Yo, do you see what this is doin' to my hands or is it, like, all in my head? [ he has to know. what the hell is this piece of crap and why has he not thrown it out. ...also why is he hanging out in the park alone after school, actually, but whatever. ]

FRIDAY MAY 26TH

This is a dumbass idea. [ says one dave to another, near the edge of the recollé woods. it's pretty late, so why are you up, and why is he up, but whatever. they both seem to be facing off with a sword in their respective left hands. ]

Yeah, maybe, but am I actually gonna do it or not? [ there's no reply, so: ] Thought so.

You know what they say about countin' chickens? [ the other one says, gesturing behind the first. hey. you've been spotted. ]

WILDCARD

[ if none of the above work feel free to throw me a different prompt / pm me or w/e to bang out an idea and i can write you up a specific prompt. i am more than happy to do so, esp if you'd like to work towards some kind of specific regain. ]

Comments

[splinten]

[So another hallucinomemory.] What did you get?

[parodeity]

Cryptic trollgirl bullshit, and an explanation of why I was maybe gonna kill myself, except then I declined to do so.

[ thanks terezi. appreciated???? ]

But we already knew how that worked. But I didn't, back then? I guess.

[splinten]

...What you actually mean is not totally clear to me at this moment.

[parodeity]

Do you remember when I told you about the time I was standin' over myself on a bed?

[ he's pretty sure they got through that one. because he mentioned it, way back before he enacted an embargo on all things memory.

...by the rules he keeps playing by, he supposes he owes dirk three right now, so this will be one of those. ]

Because that's how you go god tier, you die on your bed. I thought it was somethin' like that, but I didn't know why the fuck I'd go about it like that. It was because of one of the goddamn trolls.

[splinten]

[...Jesus.]

Usin' time travel to do it. She suggested it?

[parodeity]

Eh. I got played? But every time any of the trolls - well, the troll girls. Any time the troll girls come up, I think someone gets played. Except Ami, she seemed, like, perfectly chill? Weird but chill.

[ GODDAMNIT PASTLIFE DAVE YOU CHUMP ]

We flipped a coin, and I made two choices, and one of me lucked out but the other didn't. But the secret was, there was no such thing as luck at all. [ that trick never would have worked on him a second time, or even a first time if she'd done it much later, when he understood time better, he thinks, although he can't be sure. but he remembers the realization, and how it felt to look down at a dead end timeline. ]

[splinten]

Why not?

[parodeity]

Blah blah blah I'm gonna be a difficult seer blah. But also it was just makin' a dude make two decisions at the same time and then time takin' over.

[splinten]

What does time takin' over mean? [Dirk considers it very important to understand how Time works, so Dave will have to get a lot of questions about it.

Also that doesn't seem to answer why Dave looked confused every time he won, but he'll ask about that later.]

[parodeity]

Like...okay, let's do it this way.

[ he takes a coin out of his pocket. ]

If it's heads, you have to wear a nice shirt tomorrow. If it's tails, you get to pick whatever the fuck you want.

[ he flips it, taps it onto his left hand, and then lifts his right. ]

...Oh, goddamnit. But anyway. [ tails. ] The point is, there's a timeline right now where it was heads, right? Because a thing like that, a coinflip, it ain't somethin' that can be...assured, really? There's two options and both get taken if you lay it out like that.

[splinten]

[Okay that flip is kinda amusing but.]

I follow. Is that why it wasn't a choice? Because if it doesn't happen in one timeline, it happened in another.

[parodeity]

Both choices got made, so both timelines existed. Thing is, one - like, this one, probably [ the one where dirk picks his own clothes WAIT SHIT DON'T INSULT THAT, GOD ] - can't keep existin', because only one timeline can be...the timeline.

[ right, that feels right, that's what they'd argued about. ]

The alpha timeline.

[ that feels important. ]

[splinten]

I think I follow. It's the Garden of the Forkin' Paths, but the branches that aren't the alpha die off. [There's a tilt of a question. Does he understand it?]

[parodeity]

"Dead daves are the enemy". [ DIRECT QUOTE. WHY THE FUCK DID HE KEEP SAYING THAT like dave can agree with the sentiment but

how many dead daves were there. why. ]

[splinten]

[...]

You wanna contextualize that one because it's not my favourite thing you've ever treated like a quote.

[parodeity]

Uh. [ WAIT.........................

he regrets saying that because the context makes his time shenanigans here seem maybe dangerous? ]

She wanted to know if the source of my hesitation was really keepin' track of temporal logistics. So, like. "Why wouldn't I be concerned about that? If we make mistakes then dead daves start pilin' up. And dead daves are the enemy, remember?"

[splinten]

[Too bad Dave this is what all-for-all means.]

So do you understand what Dead Daves are? [Like he's getting an IDEA here.]

[parodeity]

I mean. The phrase makes it pretty clear what they are, yeah??

[ DAVES...WHO ARE DEAD...dave is not sure any other explanation is really. necessary? ]

[splinten]

Why would they be a thing you accumulate? Are they from the timelines that don't work? The branchin' paths.

[parodeity]

Because...if you're from an offshoot timeline, you're doomed, if you're me.

[ A...PPARENTLY? look. he is learning still. he keeps getting bullshit time mechanics memories back but they all give him a headache.

despite himself, he doesn't find them that hard to understand, though. ]

Because those timelines aren't stable.

[splinten]

[Mm. He doesn't like it.] Okay. I agree with the sentiment about dead Daves. [They are the enemy. Do not kill Daves.]

[parodeity]

Yeah so anyway she made an offshoot timeline with a dead Dave to prove a point.

[splinten]

[What the fuck.]

What the fuck.

[parodeity]

I did not find this super surprisin', so I am not sure why we were workin' together, but yeah. Apparently I had been askin' her about how to go god tier, and she decided that was the fastest way to explain?

[ THANKS, TEREZI. ]

[splinten]

[GOD.]

Okay, that's phenomenally fucked up, but it isn't exactly unusual for being so relative to the rest of this crap. I have a second question, if this particular matter is covered sufficiently.