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[semi-open] harbinger of suffering and grief
WHO: Ryoji and whoever doesn't sleep at night, I guess
WHERE: Apprassage to various places around the city, Recollé Woods
WHEN: midnight 5/17 and onward towards the end of the month
WHAT: Ryoji regains his Thanatos form; unable to control his powers, he flees, leaving destruction in his wake. He's generally very upset about it all. Please help.
WARNINGS: fighting, violence, mentions of death and suicide
[ —a screech pierces the stillness of night over the quiet streets of Apprassage, the bite of burnt rubber and asphalt filling in the space where a car now lies turned around and stalling traffic, shattered windshields spilling glass onto the street and the crumpled hood sending smoke into the air. The blaring of the car alarm falls on deaf ears of the boy standing before it, eyes wide and unseeing as he clutches his head and screams, the shimmering barrier around him dissolving back into darkness and then— ]
A. midnight, 5/17, various (CLOSED to those I talked to on May's plotting post here)
[ A brilliant flash lights up the sky outside, brief, overwhelming, then everything is plunged back into darkness. Whether the noise had woken you up, or you were awake in the dead of night to begin with, eyes lifted towards the sky might spot a shadow take off past the rooftops, deep rumble felt through the earth behind it.
Those who venture closer— the curious, the brave, the foolish— would find deep gashes on the roads, dragged long as if a sword pulled across the ground, scattered potholes still burning with the last wisps of an eerie glow. The sky flashes again, the shadow in the middle a dark hole that swallows up all light, monstrous figure apparent with the stark contrast that makes it easy to follow; even blind, one can do so by listening for the unearthly wail that cuts through the air and may dizzy the mind even from so far.
Close, it's hard to see, harder to believe: a sharp white mask reflecting the moonlight; serrated sword out of its scabbard and caked with dirt and rubble; coffins draped across its shoulder, rattling and coming for you. Every encounter brings it further and further out away from the innermost parts of the city, and each time, Thanatos stops and turns, breath visible as it chills the very air around it, waiting.
>> Hollingberry Field
>> Recollé Woods
>> Peach Beach
>> The ocean
>> ???
Select your arena, and let's go. ]
B. nights, 5/18 onward, Recollé woods (CLOSED to those above, and anybody who has interacted with Ryoji at least once before)
[ The pain disappears faster than it should have, but Ryoji would have preferred it to the emptiness in his chest, the way his hands won't stop shaking. He fumbles with his phone, startling when a twig snaps underfoot and he throws it from himself as if it burnt his hands.
He leaves the phone there for the time being, nestled on top of damp, rotting leaves as he picks his way a little deeper into the woods, a mutter under his breath: "Keep yourself together." Because whatever... whatever happened yesterday, he can't let it happen again, losing control and hurting others— killing, for all he knows, because he'd fled to the woods and hasn't gone back since the night before, hasn't talked to anybody in person except for some texts on the phone.
He's got to figure it out. Somehow.
It's here in the woods he'll stay until he can, out of the way and hoping nobody would come near after the unnerving draw of the woods earlier in the month, practicing under the veil of night. He'll manage it eventually, the flicker of shadow and a rumble, a light show, the splintering crack of felled trees. He's not as careful as he could be, frustrated, exhausted, distracted enough not to notice whoever approaches to see the arched back of a boy, head bowed and clutching his knees as he struggles back to his feet... or the back of a monster, sword in hand gleaming with the moon. ]
C. days, 5/22 onward, various (OTA)
[ Days pass, and it feels like he understands less and less of who and what he is... and why... The first time it happened, only a handful of days ago, it was a car accident. He'd frozen there in the middle of the street, staring down the pair of headlights as they approached. He had not died. He should have...
...Ryoji shakes the thought out of his head. Something had protected him, a power that welled up from within and then- gone. He couldn't do it again, hold out his hands and block the fluttering of petals onto his head in the park, or the cat that meets him on the road, rubbing its head against his ankles twice and then runs.
Maybe it had to be something similar, either to the situation or the feeling; there's no way he can know but to try, reckless and stupid as he stands by the busy streets of Tisse contemplating stepping out into traffic; holds a switchblade in his hand on the rooftop of an apartment building in Apprassage, flicking the blade in, out, in, out; up high on the bridges of the Towers, leaning dangerously over the edge as he stares down at the ground far, far below; at the zoo in front of the lion's cage trying to get it to wake up so he can climb the fence and stick his head inside its mouth; he doesn't know, nothing's working and he needs to know. ]
D. 5/26 onward, various (OTA)
[the one lighter prompt, save me ]
Hey. Hold out your hand for a moment? I want your opinion on something.
[ If you comply, Ryoji tugs out from beneath his collar a thin silver chain, on the end of which a gold ring dangles momentarily before he presses it into the palm of your hand, closing your fingers back over it. Despite having been tucked under his shirt, the ring is cold against your skin, a faint glow emitting from in between your fingers while no sun reaches it inside your hand. ]
...How does this make you feel?
[ Stupid, probably, as if holding a ring would evoke some sort of emotion, but that's what it does for Ryoji, looking equal parts expectant and hopeful as he looks from you, to the ring delivered to his door courtesy of Retrospec, and then back. ]
--
( ooc: Aside from being able to shift into the form of Thanatos, Ryoji's powers include: ghastly wail (fearful opponents fall unconscious), tempest slash (sword attack), megidola (almighty magic attack), moonless gown (barrier that reflects all attacks, max three activation per day))
WHERE: Apprassage to various places around the city, Recollé Woods
WHEN: midnight 5/17 and onward towards the end of the month
WHAT: Ryoji regains his Thanatos form; unable to control his powers, he flees, leaving destruction in his wake. He's generally very upset about it all. Please help.
WARNINGS: fighting, violence, mentions of death and suicide
[ —a screech pierces the stillness of night over the quiet streets of Apprassage, the bite of burnt rubber and asphalt filling in the space where a car now lies turned around and stalling traffic, shattered windshields spilling glass onto the street and the crumpled hood sending smoke into the air. The blaring of the car alarm falls on deaf ears of the boy standing before it, eyes wide and unseeing as he clutches his head and screams, the shimmering barrier around him dissolving back into darkness and then— ]
A. midnight, 5/17, various (CLOSED to those I talked to on May's plotting post here)
[ A brilliant flash lights up the sky outside, brief, overwhelming, then everything is plunged back into darkness. Whether the noise had woken you up, or you were awake in the dead of night to begin with, eyes lifted towards the sky might spot a shadow take off past the rooftops, deep rumble felt through the earth behind it.
Those who venture closer— the curious, the brave, the foolish— would find deep gashes on the roads, dragged long as if a sword pulled across the ground, scattered potholes still burning with the last wisps of an eerie glow. The sky flashes again, the shadow in the middle a dark hole that swallows up all light, monstrous figure apparent with the stark contrast that makes it easy to follow; even blind, one can do so by listening for the unearthly wail that cuts through the air and may dizzy the mind even from so far.
Close, it's hard to see, harder to believe: a sharp white mask reflecting the moonlight; serrated sword out of its scabbard and caked with dirt and rubble; coffins draped across its shoulder, rattling and coming for you. Every encounter brings it further and further out away from the innermost parts of the city, and each time, Thanatos stops and turns, breath visible as it chills the very air around it, waiting.
>> Hollingberry Field
>> Recollé Woods
>> Peach Beach
>> The ocean
>> ???
Select your arena, and let's go. ]
B. nights, 5/18 onward, Recollé woods (CLOSED to those above, and anybody who has interacted with Ryoji at least once before)
[ The pain disappears faster than it should have, but Ryoji would have preferred it to the emptiness in his chest, the way his hands won't stop shaking. He fumbles with his phone, startling when a twig snaps underfoot and he throws it from himself as if it burnt his hands.
He leaves the phone there for the time being, nestled on top of damp, rotting leaves as he picks his way a little deeper into the woods, a mutter under his breath: "Keep yourself together." Because whatever... whatever happened yesterday, he can't let it happen again, losing control and hurting others— killing, for all he knows, because he'd fled to the woods and hasn't gone back since the night before, hasn't talked to anybody in person except for some texts on the phone.
He's got to figure it out. Somehow.
It's here in the woods he'll stay until he can, out of the way and hoping nobody would come near after the unnerving draw of the woods earlier in the month, practicing under the veil of night. He'll manage it eventually, the flicker of shadow and a rumble, a light show, the splintering crack of felled trees. He's not as careful as he could be, frustrated, exhausted, distracted enough not to notice whoever approaches to see the arched back of a boy, head bowed and clutching his knees as he struggles back to his feet... or the back of a monster, sword in hand gleaming with the moon. ]
C. days, 5/22 onward, various (OTA)
[ Days pass, and it feels like he understands less and less of who and what he is... and why... The first time it happened, only a handful of days ago, it was a car accident. He'd frozen there in the middle of the street, staring down the pair of headlights as they approached. He had not died. He should have...
...Ryoji shakes the thought out of his head. Something had protected him, a power that welled up from within and then- gone. He couldn't do it again, hold out his hands and block the fluttering of petals onto his head in the park, or the cat that meets him on the road, rubbing its head against his ankles twice and then runs.
Maybe it had to be something similar, either to the situation or the feeling; there's no way he can know but to try, reckless and stupid as he stands by the busy streets of Tisse contemplating stepping out into traffic; holds a switchblade in his hand on the rooftop of an apartment building in Apprassage, flicking the blade in, out, in, out; up high on the bridges of the Towers, leaning dangerously over the edge as he stares down at the ground far, far below; at the zoo in front of the lion's cage trying to get it to wake up so he can climb the fence and stick his head inside its mouth; he doesn't know, nothing's working and he needs to know. ]
D. 5/26 onward, various (OTA)
[
Hey. Hold out your hand for a moment? I want your opinion on something.
[ If you comply, Ryoji tugs out from beneath his collar a thin silver chain, on the end of which a gold ring dangles momentarily before he presses it into the palm of your hand, closing your fingers back over it. Despite having been tucked under his shirt, the ring is cold against your skin, a faint glow emitting from in between your fingers while no sun reaches it inside your hand. ]
...How does this make you feel?
[ Stupid, probably, as if holding a ring would evoke some sort of emotion, but that's what it does for Ryoji, looking equal parts expectant and hopeful as he looks from you, to the ring delivered to his door courtesy of Retrospec, and then back. ]
--
( ooc: Aside from being able to shift into the form of Thanatos, Ryoji's powers include: ghastly wail (fearful opponents fall unconscious), tempest slash (sword attack), megidola (almighty magic attack), moonless gown (barrier that reflects all attacks, max three activation per day))
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I won't mention the details when asking. My mother's always been good at not asking. I'll let you know what she says, if there's anything important?
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You know Mikoto. Others too- I'm sure you will. It's easier to make friends without the app, sometimes. The friendships aren't based off shared worries.
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It's hard to remember sometimes, but I'll try. Thanks, Chloe.
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It will get easier, I think, the more used to the difference we are.
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[ He shakes his head, not wanting to remember. They used to be good memories, some more disturbing than others, but with a certain calm and flippancy that always set him at ease. More recently though, it's become so different. ]
Hey, Chloe, can I tell you something? Minako already knows, but you can't mention it to anybody else.
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Sometimes we need to talk about these things, after all.
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[ He can't die, so that secret will be kept forever. Ryoji's though, he half wishes he could talk about it— not to everyone, spread around like rumors and gossip, but just... more people he could talk to about things who he won't worry endlessly. Chloe had always been very levelheaded, more so than himself.
Deep breaths. ]
I've actually... been turning into a monster, the same one I've been seeing in the visions, that the other Ryoji could turn into. It's called Thanatos. It's... killed, before, I think. And I'm worried I'll become the same.
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[The fact that she was disturbed was obvious, because she assumed he meant 'literal monster,' not 'metaphorical monster.' Still, the fact that he said that, it made her uncomfortably look away and she sighed, reaching up to rake her fingers through her hair.]
I've had some of the same fears. The ... other Chloe is a killer too. I know ways to kill people right now. I could name you twelve ways to end someone's life as silently as possible with a knife right now, and twenty ways to make them suffer but guarantee they die. I... good people shouldn't know these things.
But... what you're describing, it's worse. Isn't it?
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Knowledge is something you can choose to act upon- knowledge on its own... isn't evil. But I... Thanatos only needs two ways to kill. It has a sword, and it can use magic. When I'm Thanatos, sometimes I lose grasp of myself and I lose that choice, Thanatos acting more on instinct than anything else.
[ It sounds more and more like an excuse when he says it, not being in control of one's own body. ]
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[She reached up and dragged her hair through her head.] What did Minako say, other than the obvious? "I don't care. You're still my friend." I haven't known her long... but I can almost imagine her saying something like that.
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That's how it's like... and that's what she said. She said she doesn't care, and that she wouldn't leave me. But I do, and I did.
...If I'm a bomb, I'm going to hurt people just by existing, and I need someone to stop me [ "kill me" ] before that happens. If I ask, would you...?
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she... is just a human. A very dangerous human, but she's a human. And what you're describing. It's a monster. She has guns and knives. Let's focus first on keeping you you for the moment, ok?
[That also wasn't a 'no.' It was more of a 'I'm not sure I'm the murderer you need.' The fact that she didn't even notice that she'd half agreed said how she didn't know just how much that girl was sneaking into her way of thinking.]
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It's not always a monster. If I die, it will also die. [ His voice dips, hushed because he knows people who hate when he talks like this. ]
...I don't mean to sound like I'm giving up. But the insurance would make me feel better.
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[If for no other reason than that she recognized that there were people she cared about who might be threatened by something like that. And, one look at him said that if he were just a human being then, he was frail. Easily subdued, no threat.
Deep down, she knew the other person wouldn't even think about it. There'd be a knife blossoming in his jugular before he could bat an eyelash.]
But I'm also not going to agree, publicly, to something like this. I think you understand why. I'm... not actually her. I feel the similarities, but I'm not her. If I did it, I'd be quick. I'll promise that much.
But... let's not speak of it more unless it becomes necessary, and not just your fears. These hallucinations can drive us mad if we're not careful.
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[ Considering it, and the promise to end it quickly if she were to do it, is more than Ryoji could hope for, and he brightens, assured, as if they were making dinner plans instead of ending his life. ]
...Sorry, I know I'm not being very fair about this, and I know it's a hard thing to ask of you. But I do appreciate it.
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I think you're a little crazy for asking... I will be honest and say that, but I think I understand why you're asking. That's why I said what I did. Don't... think of it as being unfair, ok?
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It's not unfair, I understand. I know it sounds crazy- I've asked others and have been turned down, but you're... [ Different, in that she isn't a childhood friend, isn't involved with his girlfriend, doesn't have that deep of an emotional attachment to him yet, he thinks, so he can ask. ] ...I trust you.
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You might wish to be careful how often you ask. People might try to get you help if you are not.
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[ That's exactly what he wants. ]
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[ His nose scrunches up like a rabbit's at the gesture, but the smile is back at being treated like a child. He misses that, sometimes, because it's alright for children to rely on others without being expected to be strong for themselves. ]
Well, that's why I'm only telling people that I know. If they can understand where I'm coming from, then it should be okay... And why I asked this to be a secret, or I'd be placed on suicide watch and endanger an entire institute.
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