[semi-open] harbinger of suffering and grief

[appraiser]

WHO: Ryoji and whoever doesn't sleep at night, I guess
WHERE: Apprassage to various places around the city, Recollé Woods
WHEN: midnight 5/17 and onward towards the end of the month
WHAT: Ryoji regains his Thanatos form; unable to control his powers, he flees, leaving destruction in his wake. He's generally very upset about it all. Please help.
WARNINGS: fighting, violence, mentions of death and suicide

[ —a screech pierces the stillness of night over the quiet streets of Apprassage, the bite of burnt rubber and asphalt filling in the space where a car now lies turned around and stalling traffic, shattered windshields spilling glass onto the street and the crumpled hood sending smoke into the air. The blaring of the car alarm falls on deaf ears of the boy standing before it, eyes wide and unseeing as he clutches his head and screams, the shimmering barrier around him dissolving back into darkness and then— ]

A. midnight, 5/17, various (CLOSED to those I talked to on May's plotting post here)
[ A brilliant flash lights up the sky outside, brief, overwhelming, then everything is plunged back into darkness. Whether the noise had woken you up, or you were awake in the dead of night to begin with, eyes lifted towards the sky might spot a shadow take off past the rooftops, deep rumble felt through the earth behind it.

Those who venture closer— the curious, the brave, the foolish— would find deep gashes on the roads, dragged long as if a sword pulled across the ground, scattered potholes still burning with the last wisps of an eerie glow. The sky flashes again, the shadow in the middle a dark hole that swallows up all light, monstrous figure apparent with the stark contrast that makes it easy to follow; even blind, one can do so by listening for the unearthly wail that cuts through the air and may dizzy the mind even from so far.

Close, it's hard to see, harder to believe: a sharp white mask reflecting the moonlight; serrated sword out of its scabbard and caked with dirt and rubble; coffins draped across its shoulder, rattling and coming for you. Every encounter brings it further and further out away from the innermost parts of the city, and each time, Thanatos stops and turns, breath visible as it chills the very air around it, waiting.

>> Hollingberry Field
>> Recollé Woods
>> Peach Beach
>> The ocean
>> ???

Select your arena, and let's go. ]

B. nights, 5/18 onward, Recollé woods (CLOSED to those above, and anybody who has interacted with Ryoji at least once before)
[ The pain disappears faster than it should have, but Ryoji would have preferred it to the emptiness in his chest, the way his hands won't stop shaking. He fumbles with his phone, startling when a twig snaps underfoot and he throws it from himself as if it burnt his hands.

He leaves the phone there for the time being, nestled on top of damp, rotting leaves as he picks his way a little deeper into the woods, a mutter under his breath: "Keep yourself together." Because whatever... whatever happened yesterday, he can't let it happen again, losing control and hurting others— killing, for all he knows, because he'd fled to the woods and hasn't gone back since the night before, hasn't talked to anybody in person except for some texts on the phone.

He's got to figure it out. Somehow.

It's here in the woods he'll stay until he can, out of the way and hoping nobody would come near after the unnerving draw of the woods earlier in the month, practicing under the veil of night. He'll manage it eventually, the flicker of shadow and a rumble, a light show, the splintering crack of felled trees. He's not as careful as he could be, frustrated, exhausted, distracted enough not to notice whoever approaches to see the arched back of a boy, head bowed and clutching his knees as he struggles back to his feet... or the back of a monster, sword in hand gleaming with the moon. ]

C. days, 5/22 onward, various (OTA)
[ Days pass, and it feels like he understands less and less of who and what he is... and why... The first time it happened, only a handful of days ago, it was a car accident. He'd frozen there in the middle of the street, staring down the pair of headlights as they approached. He had not died. He should have...

...Ryoji shakes the thought out of his head. Something had protected him, a power that welled up from within and then- gone. He couldn't do it again, hold out his hands and block the fluttering of petals onto his head in the park, or the cat that meets him on the road, rubbing its head against his ankles twice and then runs.

Maybe it had to be something similar, either to the situation or the feeling; there's no way he can know but to try, reckless and stupid as he stands by the busy streets of Tisse contemplating stepping out into traffic; holds a switchblade in his hand on the rooftop of an apartment building in Apprassage, flicking the blade in, out, in, out; up high on the bridges of the Towers, leaning dangerously over the edge as he stares down at the ground far, far below; at the zoo in front of the lion's cage trying to get it to wake up so he can climb the fence and stick his head inside its mouth; he doesn't know, nothing's working and he needs to know. ]

D. 5/26 onward, various (OTA)
[ the one lighter prompt, save me ]

Hey. Hold out your hand for a moment? I want your opinion on something.

[ If you comply, Ryoji tugs out from beneath his collar a thin silver chain, on the end of which a gold ring dangles momentarily before he presses it into the palm of your hand, closing your fingers back over it. Despite having been tucked under his shirt, the ring is cold against your skin, a faint glow emitting from in between your fingers while no sun reaches it inside your hand. ]

...How does this make you feel?

[ Stupid, probably, as if holding a ring would evoke some sort of emotion, but that's what it does for Ryoji, looking equal parts expectant and hopeful as he looks from you, to the ring delivered to his door courtesy of Retrospec, and then back. ]

--
( ooc: Aside from being able to shift into the form of Thanatos, Ryoji's powers include: ghastly wail (fearful opponents fall unconscious), tempest slash (sword attack), megidola (almighty magic attack), moonless gown (barrier that reflects all attacks, max three activation per day))

Comments

[appraiser]

[ Ryoji lifts his eyes from the ground, slow to settle and focus on Shuji's face, but recognizing him immediately because he'd promised all of three things to him: 1) no blood pacts, 2) no jumping off cliffs, and 3) no stabbing somebody. He'd already failed the last one, and is dangerously close to the second, and blood pacts... he has, in fact, offered this to somebody before he had met Shuji, although it wasn't followed through with.

Still, he's all around disappointed in himself, a frown tugging at the corners of his lips, and he shifts his gaze back out, staring at the horizon and does not move. ]

Thanks, but. I'll be careful. I trust the integrity of this bridge to hold up.

[thesettingsun]

[That sounds like a non-answer. It sounds like an answer dancing around the real issue, and Shuji swallows, then walks close enough to Ryoji to hold his hand out to him.]

Please come back to the middle. What's so important that you've got to be on the edge like that?

[He doesn't want someone to die in front of him.]

[appraiser]

...It's nothing.

[ That's even less of an answer, but what's so important... it's the not knowing that drives him to do this, staring down at Shuji's offered hand and just... staring. His own hands shake at his side, worse when he tries to ball them into fists, less when he turns and grips the edge of the rails, tight and unmoving. ]

I'm just... I needed some air. I need to think.

[thesettingsun]

There's air in the middle, too.

[It's not an answer, and Shuji is getting more and more distressed. He's starting to tear up, and Ryoji can probably hear it in his voice.]

I, I don't know what's got you like this, but I'll help, okay? All your friends will help. Nobody wants to see you get hurt. Okay? So please come back where it's safe.

[appraiser]

[ The quiver in Shuji's voice has Ryoji letting go to turn to him, tears taking him aback for not understanding the reason for them. He takes a step forward towards Shuji, but only just the one. ]

It won't hurt.

[ His own voice is slow, distracted, him thinking of the barrier that break his fall— hopefully. But if he does jump and die, the height is so great and the impact would be so sudden that he wouldn't feel it either.

He finds that he is okay with that. ]

[thesettingsun]

[The step towards him is reassuring. The words are not, and Shuji's tears are flowing freely.]

Dying is getting hurt. It doesn't matter if it's physically painful or not. I just - please, don't do this - I don't want you to die.

[He's been annoyed at Ryoji for half their acquaintanceship. But he's never wanted him to die.]

[appraiser]

I'm not...

[ "going to die," but that's still just a hopefully; jumping, though, is something Ryoji has a choice over, and he chooses not to ...for now... in favor of stepping down to meet Shuji in the middle. ]

...Sorry. I keep making people cry. [ He isn't sure what to do about Shuji's tears, wanting to reach over and wipe them off his face, but feeling he doesn't have the right to, being the one who caused it. ] As long as I'm alive, I'll keep making people cry...

[thesettingsun]

[Ryoji can just stand there while Shuji clings onto him, then. Shuji's probably about face-to-chest level, given how short he is.]

You don't know that! Whatever's wrong, you can't say that it'll be the same way for the rest of your life!

[Shuji didn't realize Ryoji was in this much despair when they met before. He wonders how he missed it.]

[appraiser]

[ In Shuji's defense, the despair is easy to miss given that it wasn't there all of one week ago. The last time he had felt that way, Ryoji had been much, much younger, clinging to and crying on his mother much the same way Shuji does to him now. ]

Shuji... [ He pauses, wondering how to phrase it so that he wouldn't scare him away. Maybe it would be better if he did; people who stay away from him won't be hurt. ] Listen. I'm a monster.

[thesettingsun]

You're not.

[The answer is automatic, but Shuji is no less convinced of it being true.]

Whatever you've remembered or hallucinated, whether you've got weird powers or weird body parts, you're definitely not a monster. I know you're not.

[appraiser]

Weird powers and a weird body makes me a monster. That's the very definition of one. I've already hurt people, Shuji.

[ He turns his head towards the side of the bridge, and that's why. ]

I don't want to anymore.

[thesettingsun]

Monsters don't care about hurting people.

[Of course it's reasonable to be upset if you turn into something that's not 'you' and hurt people you don't want to hurt. But even so-]

Monsters aren't sorry for making people cry. Monsters don't care. You care a lot, Ryoji. You care more than a lot of humans I know.

So you're human. No matter what your body is like, no matter what you've accidentally done, you're human. You can't change my mind.

[appraiser]

[ Caring can't be what makes somebody human. A part of it, maybe, but not all, and it doesn't override everything that he is, and has done. ]

A murderer isn't allowed a second chance just because he feels repentance...

[ He hasn't actually killed yet, but he will. He's Death. ]

[thesettingsun]

Our state doesn't have the death penalty, Ryoji.

[...whichever state they're in.]

Everyone can do good things, no matter what they are. You didn't mean to hurt people. You don't have anything to repent for because you haven't done anything wrong.

[appraiser]

[ "You haven't done anything wrong."

It's strange, the words he wants to believe also being the ones he finds the hardest to. Ryoji lets out a sigh, shakily, running a hand back through his hair. He's skipping through the five stages of grief too quickly, from denial to depression and now he's stuck. ]

...I don't know what to do. I'd rather it just stop.

[thesettingsun]

[Shuji closes his eyes for a second and hugs Ryoji closer.]

Yeah, I can understand that.

[Anyone human would be horrified to know that they'd hurt someone without meaning to. Without having control over it.]

But we'll figure something out. We'll help you not hurt people.

[appraiser]

[ "Sounds fake but okay."

He shakes away that intrusive thought, finally lifting his arms to hug Shuji back, because accepting this— something small like a hug and a promise— is easier than accepting Thanatos and Nyx and Death, and that he doesn't want to do alone. ]

...Thanks. I'll trust you on that, Shuji.

[thesettingsun]

You don't have to thank me. That's just what friends do. We're friends now, right? You said so.

[Shuji will absolutely leverage the 'friends' thing for all it's worth if it means Ryoji will stay safe.]

[appraiser]

[ !!!!! It's the friends card and it absolutely works, surprise turned to delight and Ryoji feels like smiling for the first time in days. ]

Yeah! We're friends!

[thesettingsun]

[He's never been so relieved to see someone smile.]

Yeah! So you can count on me, I'm not leaving anytime soon.

[appraiser]

...Good.

[ Definitely can't jump if Shuji never leaves, so Ryoji supposes he'll just go along with him instead. ]

What were you doing out here, anyways?

[thesettingsun]

Shopping.

[What else would you do at the Towers? They have a clearance sale going on, even.]

Want to come along?

[appraiser]

[ Other common pastimes include standing around thinking about jumping, I guess. Ryoji comes here for the food courts and elevator music. ]

Sure. I can hold your bags.

[thesettingsun]

You can hold half of my bags.

[He's not going to take advantage of Ryoji while he's emotionally fragile.]

And we could get stuff for you too.

[appraiser]

[ Let him feel useful do this as advance payment for the death and destruction he'll inevitably unleash upon this beautiful city. ]

I don't really need anything. [ He waves off the offer, apologetic. ] I'm usually spend my money on food rather than clothing... though I suppose I don't need to eat anymore.