recolle | all the world's a board, and all the men and women merely pieces

all the world's a board, and all the men and women merely pieces

WHO: anybody!
WHERE: Total Recall Games and Hobbies
WHEN: Saturday, May 6, 12-9 pm
WHAT: Free board game day! Despite some of the game pieces being bigger than we are.
WARNINGS: Shenanigans and an adorable puppy

Total Recall is a mid-sized game and hobby shop situated in a strip mall in Tisse, between Wag the Dog (a puppy obedience school) and Road House Pizza (which is also a bar in the evenings. the bar does not deliver). I can neither confirm nor deny that all the other stores in this shopping center are also named after movies.

Anyway, about half of Total Recall's floor space is devoted to retail, selling board games, card games, figurines, role-playing books, and (for some reason) hand-crocheted hats. The other half is an open space with tables and chairs, perfect for playing the stuff from the retail half. And for today's event, somebody actually built a little motorized elevator out of K'nex that they can roll from table to table as needed! It feels rickety as hell, sure, but it'll easily hold something as light as you.

There's a wide variety of games set up to play, and they rotate new ones in every few hours. There's Settlers of Catan, Betrayal at House on the Hill, Clue, Sorry, the Game of Life, Apples to Apples (to be swapped out for Cards Against Humanity after 5:00), and lots more. If you can think of a game, they probably have it (so feel free to insert your own).

One notable exhibit is Crossbows and Catapults, which is a game where you shoot actual projectiles across the table trying to knock down your opponent's wall. It goes without saying that this is probably super dangerous for tiny people to play, as they've got quite a bit of force to them, but hey, hashtag YOLO amirite?

Before you go, there's a couple of specific points where gameplay gets interrupted:

1. Food time! Somebody ordered a large pizza from next door, and fortunately they're sharing, since it's easily big enough to feed everyone in the store. Since actually getting to the pizza is a production and a half, they call rotating time outs table by table, serving the pizza from a picnic blanket in the center of the room.

2. Down, boy, down! Remember the obedience school next door? That didn't stop being a thing or anything. Anyway, a large, rambunctious puppy has escaped from class (can't imagine how) and decided to come in here and see what all the hubbub is. Fortunately, he's adorable and friendly and wouldn't dream of hurting a hooman, even if they are chew toy sized! Less fortunately, he really likes pizza, doesn't understand that the game pieces are where they are for a reason, has a lot of slobber to distribute, and might not be fully house trained yet (hence the obedience school). He's just excited!! and wants to play!!!!! but it gets very disruptive very quickly, especially since he can absolutely jump up onto the chairs and tables. His owners will be by shortly to try and get him back, but they're not gonna be able to wrangle him on their own...

Other than that, though, it's a fun, laid-back day of board games. Go forth and enjoy!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's nice to meet you too! Although maybe it would have been nicer if we didn't have to go crazy to do it.

[Fortunately for Chloe, Fai is a sucker for terrible jokes/puns. He grins again.]

Not bad! I'm still trying to figure out if this is some kind of mass hallucination, if we've all been drugged.... [He looks around at the chess pieces surrounding them and sighs.] At least I'm not the only crazy one though, so there's that.

I would like to think the world has gone crazy, not us personally. [She shrugged, keeping the grin up.] And I do not think it is truly a mass hallucination. All of the people around us behave as if it were normal, and we have not been locked in an asylum to protect us from ourselves, have we?

That's... true.

[He frowns a little, just for a moment--there are so many terrible things to imagine. What if they're not actually this tall, or not here at all? What if they're all drugged and strapped to tables somewhere, being experimented on? What if the men in black vans are going to come for them any minute, just like in the movies?

Ah, but being fatalistic doesn't make anyone happy, and Chloe doesn't seem overly concerned. Fai forces himself to turn that frown upside down and smiles over at her.]

And at least we get to have fun playing with giant board games, right? [He reaches over to pat the nearest piece to him.] I'm not much for chess, but it's pretty cool to be the same size as the pieces!

[It was, to a very big extent, an act. She was deeply concerned about everything that was going on, but forcing a smile and trying to keep herself amused one way or another. Fatalism only depressed her, after all, and she wanted things to still have the possibility of turning around, somehow.]

It is an unusual treat, and as you say. We are the size of pieces. If they had but given us warning, we could have a proper game of living chess. Ah, but oh well.

If not a game of chess, is there something you'd rather play?

Ha! You know, I was actually thinking the same thing, how fun it would be to try battle chess like this? But that would take.... [He pauses for a moment, eyeing the pieces and the squares.] ...well, a lot more people than we have!

[He grins and shakes his head]

No, I don't mind chess! I'm just not very good at strategy, so you'll probably beat me six ways to Sunday if we play. Although if we're going to play we'll have to wrestle these pieces back into place.

[No small undertaking.]

That is, really, the problem isn't it? No matter what, we would need to have a great many players to be able to do it properly. Perhaps after the whole problem is done something could be set up?

[She laughed as she started to push on the rook and began twisting it around and around to try and get the piece into place. On the upside, it was light wood.] I am only so so at chess myself, so do not kid yourself. I suspect you will do much better than you believe you will.

Ah, that's a good idea! It might not be quite as much fun if we ever get back to our real sizes, but we could ask around on the app if anyone wants to play, and mark the spaces off on asphalt somewhere.

[Fai echoes her laugh, moving to wrangle one of the other pieces back into place.]

Ah, then that's not so bad! Maybe we can practice together like this and learn a thing or two while we're at it! Maybe it'll stick in our brains better if we're actually on the board making the moves~

Oh, believe me. I think that we can find ways to make it enjoyable. I see no reason that, just because the pieces are not huge, we cannot enjoy ourselves.

[It was taking an effort, but eventually it rolled back and into place. On the upside, they were heavy enough to hold still if pushed. Of course, knights were going to be ... tricky.]

It will certainly feel more like commanding troops on the battlefield, no?

Oooh, that's true. We could dress up! [Fai grins. He's a simple man. He just wants to dress up sometimes, is that so much to ask.] And I'm sure other people might have some great ideas too!

[There's only one more piece now that's out of place. Fai crosses over to take care of that one, and then they should be ready to try this. Of course, he's kind of skinny and not very strong, so it does take a minute to move the piece.]

You're right! I mean, not that I've ever done that either. In a real battle I'd be more likely to be the flute player than anything! Marching next to the drummer, playing something inspiring! The flute player gets to run and hide when the fighting starts, right?

Yes, exactly! It is the sort of thing that would usually be at a renaissance faire, yes? But, flute player you say? Are you a musician in that case?

[She leaned against the rook lightly, looking down the field towards the black pieces and laughing to herself. This was definitely going to be interesting, to say the least.]

Do you wish white?

Oooh, I guess it might be, yes! I don't think I've ever been to a renaissance faire, but I suppose you're right! [He works on pushing that last piece into a square and then pauses, coughing lightly before laughing. He doesn't usually offer up his musical past right away after meeting someone, but....] Ah, sort of? I started out as a musician and ended up somewhere else. I meant it more as being a coward and not really a fighter, but I guess the comparison was a little more apt than I meant it to be!

[There, the pieces are all set and ready. Fai straightens up with one hand on that last piece and wipes the other across his forehead with a smile.]

It doesn't matter to me. I was leaning more toward black, but I couldn't say why.

Hehe, I see. Well, it's a chance to learn more about you. And I would not mind taking White if you would prefer. I think we both had a bit of a subconscious urge towards black... and if that is the case, then I will take white to spite my subconscious.

[Because, as she got off the pawn and started walking to the other side, she was dead sure that she knew what urged her towards black, and fuck that. She would be the Blanc, not the Noir, today. Yes, that would show her hallucimemories what was boss.]

Alright then, are we prepared?

I don't know, I don't think I'd take that as a plus in this case! [He laughs] I'm pretty boring, I'm afraid. But yes, I fully endorse spiting your subconscious. I'll take Black~

[He moves to stand opposite her, near the black pawns, and nods.]

Ready! And you go first right, because you're White?

[She laughed a little and seriously considered starting with a knight gambit. Honestly, it would have been appropriate, so as she was replying, she got in front of one of her pawns and pushed it with a grunt out of the way before she started dragging the horse head to the row in front of them, settling on the spot on the inside for better mobility.

Her reply came with a bit of grunting as she pulled.]

Yes...ngh, and this will be quite the workout for a chess game it would seem.

[Oh god she's moving a knight first. Fai is doomed. His entire conception of chess is "move pawns until it's no longer feasible."

Still, he's grinning, because it's a friendly game and he likes Chloe. And it's a little amusing the lengths they're going to have to go to, to move these pieces. He has to stop himself from offering to help her move the piece that's probably going to kick his ass.]

Ah, that's ok for me though! I could really use the workout. I've been told I'm built like a noodle~!

[He laughs and steps forward to push one of the pawns toward Chloe's knight.]

[The good news was that this was the last knight she was moving that would require moving through another piece. That was seriously far too much work. She was panting some when she finished pushing it, smiling over at him.

Seeing the pawn move, she considered her options and nodded to herself before moving the pawn that had been in front of her knight before forward two spaces. She wasn't especially worried about that pawn yet. He had a long way to go before he threatened the king.]

I think a little exercise will do both of us good.

[And god, was she seriously thinking of castling? Well, ok, it would keep the king from moving at all for a long time, so there was that.

It's certainly more fun than going to the gym or running! Even if I'm still sure I'm going to lose~

[Losing didn't really bother Fai--he'd never been terribly competitive about anything other than music or performing, and he could admit when he was outmatched at something. Pride was for people who were worth a damn, who hadn't been trying their whole lives to be useful enough to be worth the air they were breathing.

Fai chose another pawn to move directly across from the pieces Chloe had already moved.]

Although maybe next time we get together we could try romance novels and margaritas instead~?

We shall see. I don't think either of us is that great at the game itself. But it is more about the fun of playing today.

[It wouldn't bother her either. This was anything but a competitive situation, after all. It was fun to just play after all. Once his pawn had moved, she considered her options, making sure she wasn't doing anything stupid before moving the bishop out into the same line as the pawns, preparing a nice, clear path for a castle in a moment.]

Romance novels and drinks would be fun. Though we might drown in a drink right now, don't you think?

[The bishop causes Fai to pause and reassess what he's doing. He's only moved a couple of pawns, he hasn't even started considering what to do with the rest of his pieces yet. Although... well, Chloe moved one of her knights out overtop of the pawns, so he should be able to do that too?

Fai heads over to one of his knights and begins to wrestle with the larger piece, much in the same way that Chloe had before.]

We could, but that's half the fun! Besides, we could share one big drink and it would last all night! But... maybe we should wait until the world goes normal again. If-- [huffhuff, moving this thing sucks] --if we ever get normal again.

[That was one of the other advantages of having that bishop in that spot. It had a free reign of the field, so to speak, which meant that everything looked much more aggressive. And, to add to the concern, Chloe looked at the knight he'd finally brought out, considered where his pawns were and slipped back to move the pawn right in front of her queen one space out.

It would free the queen... or the other bishop. Suddenly the field was going to feel a lot more aggressive in nature.]

We could also drown in that drink were we not careful! But yes, let us definitely do this when we are normal.

And do not say if. Say when. We will be back soon enough. This is too much, even for them.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

all the world's a board, and all the men and women merely pieces

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