recolle | i must confess that i feel like a monster

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i must confess that i feel like a monster

WHO: James Barnes and YOU!
WHERE: the prison
WHEN: all of October
WHAT: catchall log for anyone who may want to visit James in prison!
WARNINGS: weird monster shit going on in the background

[ For all the craziness happening this month, at least the process of visiting James is pretty consistent--show up to the prison, take a visitor's slot, go through all the security checks, then get whisked into a guarded room to be seated at one of the tables. And then, a few minutes later, James will walk in from one of the other doors and take a seat on the other side of the table, wearing his prison best: the plain-looking khaki outfit. For a falsely convicted murderer serving a 15 year sentence (and for, y'know, being James Barnes), he looks remarkably calm.

But as the month wears on, some visitors may notice that he's starting to look or act a little strangely... ]

(( Please note what date your visits are, so I can gauge when he gets infected/how infected he'll be at any given visit! ))

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[ so. dave probably makes fairly regular visits to james since the Prison thing, just like he did to malik in juvenile detention. it's more recent at least? but especially if/when the Dirk Connection becomes a thing and just because he plain likes james he'd come visit.

unfortunately, this time he has a slight ulterior motive.

infect. multiply. destroy.

even if he's just on the other side of the table, not allowed to touch, eye contact should do it...and he'll tip his shades down at some point in this conversation, but nicities first!

for the most part? dave looks the same. just...unhealthier. thinner, far more pale, and his freckles don't seem to be visible any longer. there's also the minor matter of his shadow being bigger than it should be, and maybe moving a little oddly out of the corner of people's eyes...

but when they look at it dead on, it seems to behave as normal. weird! ]

Hey, dude. So...how are you? There's been a hell of a lot of network chatter 'bout you.

[ He gets a good look at Dave as he enters the visitation room and settles in. He thinks that he looks a little pale, a little sick, but maybe that's just how Dave's always looked. He hasn't seen Dave in a few months, after all. He's not sure if something is off, really.

But he seems to sound okay, so whatever. James doesn't think about it too hard. ]

Yeah? Like how?

[ He knows, from his family, that the article published on his arrest didn't mention him by name. So if people on Retrospec are talking about him, it's probably because someone who visited him earlier blabbed about him being in here. He has no idea what they would've been saying about him--that he's innocent? That he really is guilty? That he's just a stupid jackass? ]

[He tried. He really, really tried. He lasted three days, just managing to not succumb on his birthday. But once he does... the need to infect someone is overpowering. Tatsuo is about to start prowling the streets for someone, anyone he could infect when he remembers the perfect prey. Someone who can't run away from him.

James.

Once he's decided on his victim, some of the pent up agitation subsides, and Tatsuo gathers up some of the files he's put together in his investigation into the string of supposedly coincidental crime ring deaths. Coincidental. As if. His connections with the police department grant him easy access, and it's not long before he's sitting across from James. He lays down a small stack of folders, and then, perhaps curiously, a finger print kit.]

I know we already have your prints on file, but frankly, whoever took them should be fired. They were completely shoddy.

[ James is taken aback by the file of folders that Tatsuo brings in--didn't all the questioning and investigating happen during the trial? Why this now?--but at the mention of fingerprints, he laughs a little. ]

Yeah, figures. I bet getting fingerprints is pretty hard when one of your hands is smooth metal.

[ He wiggles the fingers on the left hand for emphasis. ]

[Truthfully, the stack of files is there mostly for show. Let the guards and James think he's there on official business.]

Rather difficult yes. Pretty much the only thing they could do at that point is take a sample of the metal in order to have a metallurgic profile.

[Whether they actually did that or not, Tatsuo's not sure. But it's what he would have done. As it is, he can smell the metal in James's arm, but he can't quite pin down the alloy. He's not exactly surprised, because there are so many different alloys it's impossible to know them all. Though, now that he knows what it smells like, he probably could recognize this mix again.]

It certainly has an interesting composition.

[He doesn't open the finger printing kit just yet. Instead he picks up the folder from the top of his small stack and flips it open. He lays it on the table and turns it around so James can see the list of criminal deaths that occurred between July 23rd and August 11th. Nine in total.]

Though, while I've got you here, I was hoping to pick your brain a little over Zee. I've been looking into the deaths that proceeded his, and I know he was looking into them too.

[Which, James has effectively made impossible to do officially. Thanks, James.]

[ ur welcome tatsuo C8

The level of detail and depth he goes into about James's arm makes him frown in confusion. 'Take a sample'? They haven't, and he certainly hopes they won't, because he can't imagine a way to do that other than permanently remove a piece of his arm. Not to mention, James has never even thought about the composition of his arm. Why is this guy suddenly so interested? What's it even matter?

But he drops it when he shows James the list of deaths, so he doesn't think about it any further than that. He recognizes at least some of the names from what Gar told him. ]

Okay, sure. But I don't know all that much about them.

I figured as much. What I'm interested in is how Zee was going about his investigation. Somehow, these deaths caught his attention. I've seen the coroner's reports myself. They all died of seemingly natural causes, or accident, or suicide. Any other coroner, I'd question, but not Dr. Izunia, even if she is out-of-network. I'm curious about how Zee approaches problems when there doesn't seem to be one.

[Tatsuo taps the list with a finger.]

As I understand it, you had a beef with Zee. How would you describe your relationship with Zee between February of this year and his death? How he interacted with you could give insight into his thought process.

[ James doesn't see how, but okay. ]

It was...weird. I mean, I hated him at first. Obviously. I didn't trust him further than I could see him, which wasn't at all. It's why I, y'know, tried to kill him.

But I don't think he was ever angry or anything. I apologized a few weeks later and he said he already forgave me. He didn't trust me, but he forgave me. I think he was just like that in general. He already knew my history--he knew everything I'd already tried, and he knew all the stuff I've been remembering, and he still just casually gave me his phone and forgave me for trying to kill him.

[ And here he starts to shift a little uncomfortably. Should he be mentioning this to Tatsuo? He can't remember what exactly it is he does with the police. But does it even matter? Half the whole point of him turning himself in was to stop keeping so many damn secrets. ]

The last conversation I had with him was in July. I said I could help with whatever he needed help with. He just told me to keep an eye on what was going in or out of the mailbox, especially if it was lethal. Following some kind of "lead."

...I think he wanted me to kill his murderer, if he died.

[ It's early October. Nothing weird going on just yet, but Malik has found out that a good ole pal of his has ended up in jail. As much as he's trying to be a better person, or at least a less heinous one, he finds this information hilarious.

So he goes to the jail, taking a seat all casual-like across from James, and he just sits there. Grinning like a loon. ]

[ While Malik is trying to be a better person, James is trying to accept he's a terrible one. So, as much as the gleeful look on Malik's face makes him want to deck the guy, James reins it in. After all, it's not like he's got a lot of moral high ground to stand on anymore, is it?

James waits for him to say something. Eventually, he gets tired of waiting and prompts him. ]

Yeah?

How's it feel?

[ Even though their last few interactions had been more or less civil (for them), Malik is reveling in this. He doesn't know if James is still the "weird" James from the summer, or if he remembers everything they got into last year - it doesn't matter. It's still funny. ]

Not great, obviously. [ god, he really has to fight the urge to go back to being combative and angry, when faced with Malik's obvious joy in his suffering. He crosses his arms and clenches his jaw, but forces himself to keep calm. He slides down in his seat a little. ]

But I asked for this, so. Can't complain too much. [ he shrugs. ]

[ Oh, so it gets better! ]

I suppose I should ask what you're in for, then. I bet it's good.

Oh. You don't know? [ From the people who'd visited him the past week and the hubbub they made, he'd kind of assumed word had already spread to everyone on the app. ]

I tried to kill Zee, back in March. But then they also pinned his actual murder on me too. So now I'm in here for that too.

Huh. I'll admit I'm kind of impressed.

[ Kind of, because James is either the version where he beat Malik's face in, or the version with the tactical murder dream. So, not a complete surprise. ]

...Did he deserve it?

[ Since he recently had a discussion about this. ]

...do you mean the murder attempt, or the actual murder?

[ wait, why is he even asking? It's not like that makes a difference. James shakes his head. ]

No.

[ That finally gets Malik to stop being so sunny. ]

Hm. So then why bother? I'm talking about your attempt, of course. Unless you really did kill him...

I didn't. And I thought he did deserve it, at the time. I only realized he didn't afterwards.

[ Malik crosses his arms. ]

How so? You finally decided to grow a heart? That Retrospec hasn't actively decided to ruin everyone's life for the past year and a half? [ Heavy sigh!!! ]

You're really taking all the fun out of this.

No. I don't--[ he sighs too. ] I don't know if Retrospec is actively trying to ruin our lives or not. And not knowing that for sure is enough reason for me to not want to hurt them. At least, not any more.

And you're ruining the fun for yourself. You're the one who thought it was funny, that has nothing to do with me. So if you don't like it anymore, that's on you.

[It was difficult not to hear about what was going on with Zee being killed and all. So of course Yuu hears about James. Decides to go and visit the other to find out what was really going on. To see how James was doing at least.

Which, he has never actually been to prison, but he manages to get through the security checks and be led to the visitation area. There's something kind of unnerving, and part of him thinks all of this seems very cautious and paranoid but at the same time, they probably had reasons for all their rules or whatever.

He sits in the chair, glancing over to the other teenager at the other end of the table. He's....honestly not quite sure what to say. How to even start on all of this.]

H-hey. I just....I heard you were here. So I figured I'd come see how things were.

[Obviously not great because this is prison but. Still.]

[Tatsuo takes a pen out and actually jots a few notes. It is pretty interesting, that Zee so readily forgave someone who made an attempt on his life. It said a lot about his character, even with the knowledge he would have had about James's life.

Though he does raise an eyebrow when James mentions killing Zee's murderer.]

You said you 'think' he wanted you to kill his murderer? But he never asked for that specifically?

Retrospec is trying to ruin our lives. Don't get me wrong, it's better you than me that's in here, but you could have at least committed to the murder if you were going to go that route. Retrospec doesn't care about you. Zee didn't care about you. They're never going to stop interfering until they're destroyed. If you hadn't have gotten caught, I could have said you were doing everyone a service. Well, almost...

[ He shakes his head. ]

No. He said something like, if things go badly, I'd have to do something in his stead when the time is right.

I didn't know what he meant at the time. But I think he wanted me to...avenge him or something, I don't know.

And if I had killed Zee, you think that would've stopped them? Do you really think that would've changed anything?

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