recolle | [closed] so save that heart for me

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[closed] so save that heart for me

WHO: Xiaolang Li & Sakura Kinomoto
WHERE: The Li/Zhong apartment
WHEN: mid-April, a day or so after this whole fiasco in Magatus
WHAT: "Two people connected by the red thread of fate are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break." aka the bears finally return to their rightful owners, and Sakura finally tells Xiaolang her answer
WARNINGS: ~~did I use Past Lives lyrics as a log title twice in a row YES FIGHT ME~~ AGGRESSIVE FLUFF AND POTENTIAL CAVITIES-- and everything else that comes from two shy awkward teens navigating their feelings

[It's a familiar, cheery chirp from his phone that gently rouses Xiaolang from his slumber, one that never ceased to get his heart squeezing in his chest once he recognizes it.

That was Sakura's ringtone.

He wastes no time swinging himself upright in bed, accidentally disturbing Jasmine in her own sleep, groping for his phone and trying to calm the thrumming of his pulse. This was the first time she had texted him since her birthday, since he went and came clean about his feelings towards her, and his mind was reeling from the possible reasons. Had she needed help again? Did something happen with her family? Did she get another memory back? Scanning the text on the screen, his nerves still as he takes in the message.

She wanted to come over. She wanted to see him.

That small flicker of hope gets squashed down immediately, though, as he considers it. No, she was most likely worried about how he was doing from the Magatus thing, no doubt. Thankfully, it was the weekend, so he hadn't had to miss that much school in order to rest up and recover his lost energy, but he had still been sleeping a good portion of the past few day in order to do so. It seemed like he was just about on the verge of 100% (or, at least, 95%), so he was in good enough shape to entertain a guest if he was up to it. But Sakura was much more than a mere guest...

Shooting back a quick, short reply-- letting her know that yes, he was home, and yes, he wouldn't mind her stopping by if she didn't mind it-- he moves himself out of bed to start changing out of his pajamas and into more presentable clothing. Once that was out of the way, he picks around the tons of parcels scattered around his room (thanks for the mail, family!!!) and moves himself to the living room, making sure skim a few boxes and bags of treats from said parcels in case she was hungry. After those are settled onto the coffee table, he sinks himself onto the couch, along with Jasmine, keeping an eye and an ear out for Sakura's arrival. Leon seemed to be out for the day, so it was just him and the butterflies in his stomach, the hummingbird wings in his chest, and the heavy silence surrounding him in the apartment as he waits.]

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[She'd messaged him first. Waiting to ensure he was even up or at home at all. She figured he might be, resting or sorting through his mail, given the parcels had finally all come at once, and he had been through a lot in his time at Magatus and all. But he had said it was okay, so she texts back that she'd be there soon, grabbing the bear, pulling on her coat and boots, ensuring she has her keys and phone before heading out to make her way over.

Once there, she pauses at the door. Part of her wants to just faint or flee right there. This must have been how he'd felt with her party. But no. He deserved to know her answer. Just like their other selves, whatever all they had gone through, they deserved to be happy together too. If he could tell her how he felt, she could too. Even if her heart feels like it is about to burst out of her chest already.

So she hugs her bag to her, with the bear in, holding it tighter once she knocks and waits for him to answer.]

Xiaolang-kun?

[Waiting for Sakura to arrive was like a slow-moving torture, each minute feeling more agonizing than the last. What in the world were they going to talk about? The incident with her memories? The whole thing in Magatus a few days ago? God, he really hoped it wasn't that. It was awkward enough that she knew how he felt about her, but now she knew his insecurities and his obsessive worries about her too. And he did promise not to keep that hidden from her anymore, so it wasn't as if he could avoid talking about it if that's what she wanted to discuss...

The small knock on the door and the faint sound of his name snaps him out of his musings, getting his heart to scuttle up to his throat. Oh. She was here already. Taking a deep breath, he gets off the couch, making his way to the door and trying to mentally calm himself down in the process. It was fine. It was fine. Sakura already was aware that he liked her, and therefore, he didn't have to try to keep it hidden or pretend otherwise. But it didn't stop the anxious flutter in his chest, or the flush of color tinting his cheeks and ears, or the slight tremble in his fingertips as he goes to undo the locks on the door to open it. If only he knew how nervous she was right now, too...

His eyes soften as they fall upon the familiar figure in the doorway, sweet and shy and clutching onto a bag for dear life, and the smallest of smiles tugs at his lips, despite himself. What was it about just seeing her that made the sunshine bloom in his heart?]

... Sakura.

Um... [His mouth moves for a few moments, struggling to think of the right thing to say, temporarily at a loss. 'Come in'? 'How have you been'? 'It's nice to see you'? It takes him a few seconds more, before he finally manages to get something out.]

H-Hi.

[Hi? HI?? Someone just throw him back in the forest again to die, PLEASE-- but before he can get any more awkward, a small scampering of tiny feet echoes through the foyer and to the door, signaling the arrival of a very happy, VERY energetic white fluffball aiming for Sakura's legs.]

Ah-- Jasmine?! Hey--!!

Hi?

[But then she blinks, her gaze lowering when Jasmine comes to find out who it is and rushes into her legs. At least Jasmine wasn't a bigger dog, so Sakura manages to not entirely lose her balance, though she does try to keep a hold on the bag she has with her, not wanting to drop it.]

Jasmine! Look, if you let me in, I'll pet you. Just give me a minute, okay?

[She laughs, shifting briefly in removing her shoes and then edging her way inside, Jasmine following behind.]

You seem to be doing better now at least?

[Jasmine is nearly beside herself in glee, happily barking and bouncing and dancing around Sakura's legs. Sakura's here, my favorite girl Sakura, yay yay yaaaaaay! It's enough so that Xiaolang has to tug her back a little and hold onto the excitable dog to give Sakura some room to maneuver, not wanting to have her trip or hurt herself in the process. The small poodle seemed contented by this appeal of hers, though, wiggling restlessly in her favorite boy's arms, until Xiaolang deemed it safe to set her down again. She trots behind Sakura as he moves to close the door behind them, tail wagging eagerly and panting. Pets? Pets now, please?]

Sorry. She's just... really happy to see you again.

[As is he, of course, as apparent by his flushed cheeks, but he's not about to say that out loud. No use making things weird the moment she steps into the house. Her amused laughter was enough to get his heartbeat fluttering, though, and that gentle warmth to spread through his chest, the sound sweeter than any music. How in the world was she able to do that so easily to him?

Her question does ice down some of those warm fuzzies, however, the unpleasant subject of Magatus rearing it's head. Pursing his lips, Xiaolang gives a quick nod, letting out a small noise of affirmation.]

But... yeah. I've been resting a lot, and eating a lot, so I'm almost back to normal. It's mostly just getting back my energy, but...

[His eyes travel to the bag in her arms, curiosity piqued. Was it something else from Retrospec? She didn't mention as much when she texted him, but it would explain why she wanted to see him again...]

Um, I have a lot of stuff my sisters sent, if you're hungry. It's in the living room.

Looks like it! [Sakura chuckles, almost feeling a little bad she doesn't visit more often in seeing him if only to better calm Jasmine. Though this was likely also not helped in her having helped care for Jasmine the other month in the dog clearly getting attached to her during that period.]

But that's good. I'm glad if you're feeling better. You look it, at least!

[She holds to the bag, glancing down at it and flushing a little, her cheeks and nose reddening a little pinker shade when he glances to it.]

Eh? Oh, right. The mail. It all seemed to come at once, didn't it? I guess a little snack wouldn't hurt.

[To be fair, Jasmine loved most people, but Sakura was a special person! She looked after her when her two favorite boys were away, and she was super nice, so she couldn't help but adore her even more! (And Sakura being an important friend to her beloved Xiaolang certainly helped too) She dances around the two as they talk, whining a little and nudging her head into their legs to guide them inside. Look, she's a good host, too!

Something gets caught in his throat at her words, though, doing nothing for the color in his face, and he attempts to clear it, averting his eyes from her. He should look better-- he was an absolute mess when she had found him out there, both physically and emotionally, and he couldn't imagine how she must have felt to see him in that state. If it had been the other way around...]

T... thanks. I'm sorry, too, for... for worrying you like that.

[Actually, he probably had said that a thousand times, in his delirious state, when she had come to rescue him, but the whole thing was a hazy blur thanks to that hideous fever. He wasn't sure just what he had said to her, exactly, during that time, but he hoped it wasn't anything too weird.

The cute pink shade her faces heats up to when he glimpses at the bag isn't lost on him, although it is a curious reaction. Was there something she didn't want him seeing in there? But then, why had she have it in THAT bag and not her usual carrying one? His head tilts a bit in thought, debating whether it was alright to ask about it.]

Yeah. With Christmas and New Year's, it wound up being a lot. I doubt I'll be able to eat all of this on my own, even with Leon helping me.

[He leads her into the living room, gesturing to the various sweets and snacks spread upon it. Some of it is standard fare, like strawberry panda cookies and different flavors of pocky and gummies, while others seem to be a bit more fancier.]

This isn't even a fraction of it, so take whatever you like back with you if you want it. [PLEASE. FREE HIM FROM THIS-- but his eyes travel back to the bag in her arms, curiousity not ebbing from it.]

... did you want to set that down somewhere?

I'm just glad if you're alright now. I mean, both of us were....pretty worried about each other in all that.

[Him at Magatus and her with all that happened at Bosuma and all. Is what she means. Sakura tries to keep talking amid her trying not to trip over Jasmine in her enthusiasm at having a guest, let alone this particular one coming over again.]

It does look like a lot....! [So yes. She'll try some pocky and the panda cookies, because strawberry. And try not to choke in swallowing it when he asks about putting down the bear. She coughs, clearing her throat before glancing back down at the bag, then to him again.]

This is, um....I came around with it because I...I wanted to give you this.

[She finally opens the bag, producing the bear and handing it to him in offering.]

Because I like you too, Xiaolang-kun!

[And then a breath. As if letting out one she didn't even know she'd been holding in, in finally admitting it. Actually telling him. Not that it exactly helps how flushed her cheeks and nose still are, but well. She'd probably calm down more in a few minutes. At least on her end, she already knows his feelings, unlike when he confessed to her earlier.]

[Xiaolang manages to divert Jasmine's attention away from Sakura by the time they reach the living room, not wanting her to stumble over the dog or get either of them hurt while she was here. Easier said than done, of course, as Jasmine was hard to distract when she was this worked up, but a well-timed toss of one of her favorite toys gets her to dart away after it, leaving the two of them alone for the time being. Not that she didn't help relieve the tension a bit, but something told him that they didn't really need a third wheel for whatever Sakura was here for.

It was cute, though, seeing her nibble away at the snacks (he figured she'd like the strawberry ones, so thank goodness for his sisters sending him so many of those), but his alarm bells immediately go off the moment he sees her choking on them. Did he say something weird?? He ducks over towards her, one hand settling on her shoulder and the other patting her back, hoping to help her clear whatever got stuck, concern in those brown eyes of his.]

Sakura? Sakura?! Are you--

[But the words stop abruptly on his lips as she clears her throat and speaks, and for a moment, he's confused. Was it another Retrospec thing after all? Had he left something over in Magatus on their haphazard trip out? Any and all stray thoughts came to a screeching halt, however, when a very pink, very familiar bear emerges from that bag, there in Sakura's hands and offered over to him. It... it couldn't be. It was wishful thinking, she wasn't really--

'I like you too, Xiaolang-kun!'

It was if the world had spun to a stop on it's axis, keeping them suspended in this second of time as the words echo within his head, his heart, his entire being. The breath dies a small, quiet death in his lungs as his lips part in surprise, eyes searching her adorably flushed face (she was pink, so pink, he didn't think he's ever seen her this flustered before--), before setting on the bear in her hands.

No... his bear, now. It had always been his, but... now it was coming back home. Where it belonged.

Carefully, he removes his hands from her shoulder, her back, before closing them gently around the winged stuffed animal, accepting it from her and bringing it to his chest. He understood now. The warmth, the pull that this little bear had drawn out within him, that he was too clueless to realize then when he parted from it. It was a warmth that was permeating every bit of his being, enough to bring a soft, happy smile to his face as he glances back at her.]

... is it okay... to still think it looks like a Sakura?

[Of course she might have had the chance earlier, to not keep him so in suspense, if....all of that hadn't gone down. Neither of them had exactly intended for their visits and trips to go the way they had, after all. But at least now, here, she had done it. That was the important thing. So she takes a deep breath as he takes the bear, remembering handing it to him in that other life. When he was leaving.

It was rare, though she might not realize quite how rare a thing his smile was. Especially in it being this soft an expression. Sakura can't help but to manage a smile back, her hear stopping hammering quite so loud and fast in her chest now she had done what she came to do.

Even if there was still the question on what this really meant, given both of them were new to this sort of thing. But that was something to figure out together, later on over time. For now, the important step of admitting their feelings was out there, at least. Which was some progress.]

I guess it kind of does. You're right. The wings. [They sort of match the ones on that case he had got? And the colour matches that pale pink of the sakura - the cherry blossoms she was named after.]

[Maybe those soft, sweet smiles of his didn't seem so rare to her because she was the only person he ever directed them to with this much frequency. And honestly, he was fine with that-- she was the only one who made him feel warm enough, happy enough, to get him to drop his guard and express himself in such a way. In a sense, she was the sun to his moon-- taking the bright, brilliant energy she gave off so easily and reflecting it back ever so gently.

Seeing her beam right back at him made the warmth expand and grow into something delicate and precious, and he didn't want to say anything or do anything that would wind up shattering this tender feeling. Why had he wanted to keep how he felt to himself in the first place? He would have wound up missing this wonderful feeling, this overwhelming happiness that came with loving someone and knowing they loved you in return.

His smile growing fonder, he cuddles the bear a little closer to his chest, keeping it tenderly cradled near his heart in the crook of his arm.]

Can I call this bear Sakura too, then?

[Granted, there's no doubt who he would name it after, if their memories and now mutual feelings were any indication, but it was the principle of the matter. He wanted her to know that he had every intention of returning whatever love she gave him, for now and for ages to come.]

If I can call mine Xiaolang.

[Considering the tradition and them remembering naming the bears after each other then, it made sense. That they would do the same here, in using the bears as some way to express how they felt. To confirm it. Even if they might be young still. Even if most might question and doubt if this might last, because of their age.

But that was up to the two of them. Not anyone else. All Sakura knows is how she feels right here and now. That in this moment, she cares for him. A lot. Not that it stops her looking a little sheepish in asking such. In seeming so bold, even with her knowing how he feels.]

[If there was a time in his life where he was happier than this, Xiaolang didn't think he could remember it. Was it even possible for a person to feel this much joy, this much light and contentment, all at once? The smile he gives her at her answer is nothing but pure adoration, his heart swelling and his eyes meeting hers, soft and gentle and filled to the brim with his feelings.]

Of course.

[As he gazes into her eyes, quietly admiring her cute, shy expression (although he was probably looking pretty cute and shy himself, given all of these feelings being shared now), something brings his thoughts to an abrupt halt. What did they do from here? In the movies, these sweet confessions of love were usually sealed with a kiss, but the very idea of kissing her here and now was enough to make him feel faint. Maybe a hug?? But that still felt kind of bold, even if it was clear between them that they felt the same way about one another. This was still a new thing, a tenuous thing, for the both of them, and he hadn't wanted to overstep any boundaries right off the gate.

He clears his throat, his face more red than he thought, and he debates on what to say.]

I, ah...

[Does he... ask for the hug? It wasn't as if they haven't hugged in the past, but those were from emotionally charged moments, acts of adrenaline overtaking any second thoughts from the moment. But to do so now, to hold her for the sake of holding her, deliberately...

His free arm reaches back for her, tentatively, to maybe telegraph his intentions, but it doesn't get very far before a bundle of furry, overexcitable energy rams into the back of his legs. Stumbling forward, his heartbeat rocketing in surprise, his head whips around to spot the eager little dog dancing around them. Clearly the ball wasn't enough of a distraction.]

J-JASMINE!

[There's a relief, a simple joy that she can't quite compare to anything else, in savoring the moment. The smile on Xiaolang's lips. The seeming brightness of the air around them. Even Sakura isn't sure she's been quite so content.

Not that this is to last, of course.]

You? A-ah!

[Sakura was about to ask what he had wanted. But that doesn't take precedence in ensuring he doesn't actually trip and faceplant. Thankfully they weren't too far apart anyway, so it was easy enough for her to try to reach to help steady him, while she too glances to see Jasmine.

Clearly she wanted to play. And wasn't as concerned about what was going on to interrupt them for it. Sakura's hand reaches to steady Xiaolang, at his shoulders, before then kneeling down to Jasmine.]

Don't trip him up, now. I know you want to play, but you should be more careful next time.

[She then takes the ball, throwing it again for the dog to chase after.]

[Jasmine doesn't seem too perturbed by the gentle admonishment, only bouncing happily on her little paws and giving an eager bark as she sees Sakura pick up the ball. It's okay, her favorite boy was a sturdy cookie! He could handle a few headbutts to the legs!! But the ball serves it's purpose in diverting her attention once more, and she scampers after it like a small, fluffy rocket down the hall.

Xiaolang, on the other hand, was still trying to recover from that abrupt mood shift, heart pounding heavily from the assault on his knees. There's a small, murmured thanks as she keeps him steady, his arm instinctively wrapping under her own and around her back to keep his balance. Honestly. He loved that dog, but sometimes her energy was too much for him.]

... sorry. She's been cooped up by my side since I got back, and she's been going a little stir-crazy. I should probably take her out soon, so she...

[But he trails off, suddenly aware of their new positioning, with her hands gently upon his shoulders and his arm settled across her back. A warm flush blooms across his cheeks, the flutter in his chest growing rapidly at this development. This was what he was trying to do earlier, wasn't it? Trying to hold her close? His arm gently presses her forward, not strong enough to force her if she wasn't ready for it, but enough so that she could be able to tell what he was trying to do.]

Can I...

[Maybe that fever from Magatus was coming back again. Why else would he be feeling so warm, like he was about to combust in any given moment? Taking a steadying breath, he gathers the nerve to finish his sentence, though it comes out as a tentative, unsteady tremor.]

... can I hold you?

[oh my god please don't think he's weird oh my god]

Oh. That might explain it then. She just needs to play and get outside a bit then.

[Which isn't as much of an issue where cats were concerned but she had helped walk Jasmine while they had the dog at their place, at least. So she is aware on that much. Still, Sakura can't help but give a small smile and shake of her head as she watches Jasmine then chase after the ball. Before he gets her attention in asking to hold her.]

E-eh? Hold me? Um, sure?

[It isn't like they hadn't hugged before. And that was what people did, when they liked each other. Wasn't it? So it made sense for him to ask, for them to hug.]

[It's true they had hugged one another before in the past, but this was different. Or... it seemed like it, anyway. This wasn't a hug under the pretense of comfort or relief, it was just... a hug because he wanted to. Which, in itself, was kind of confusing, because he really wasn't used to getting hugged in general, and he wasn't comfortable in giving them in the first place.

But...

There was something within him, tugging at his heart, that wanted to pull her in close and never let go. Which was kind of overwhelming!! And confusing!! And it's clear by the way he ducks his head and the dark crimson flush that's spreading to his ears and neck that he's beginning to have second thoughts about being so bold in the first place. Sakura seemed more surprised and hesitant about the question than anything else (or, at least, so he assumed), and he didn't want to just go ahead and do it if it made her feel awkward.]

I-I mean... only if you want me to! I'm okay if you don't, either.

[... Xiaolang it's just a hug, LOVE YOURSELF CHILD-- but his shy tendencies weren't about to go away that easily, even with the knowledge of their mutual feelings right now.]

I--it's okay.

[She tries to reassure him. Though yes, this was different. This was hugging because they wanted to. Because they felt more comfortable with it now - at least, in theory, now that they had admitted their feelings. Not because they were trying to comfort each other about anything or because they were relieved that the other was alright.

So this is more easy to savor it in the moment. In the way she seems a little surprised but accepts it anyway, in stepping closer, in one arm initially raising to wrap around his waist.]

[At her answer, his head peeks back up, his face still tinted a considerable shade of red, eyes shimmering slightly as they meet hers.]

... okay.

[Despite being the one who suggested it, the breath still catches in his throat a little as she steps in closer, and his heartbeat spikes just a bit more as her arm comes around his waist. His own arms were already around her back and over her shoulders, from steadying himself earlier, so now it was just the matter of drawing her in closer into his hold. Taking a deep, calming breath, he takes a step forward himself, closing the gap between them, gently tugging her towards him as he enfolds her within his embrace.

The hug wasn't a particularly tight one, and it was a touch clumsy-- he really wasn't used to being the one giving these things-- but it was warm and strong, keeping her nestled close in the circle of his arms as he rests his head against hers. Was she close enough to feel the happy flutter of his heart within his chest? He wasn't sure. But if he was able to stop time, for just a moment, he'd choose it to be here and now, snug and content, with her wrapped up in his arms.

There weren't any words needed to be said. Just the quiet between them, lost in their own blissful little world.]

Edited 2018-04-29 01:56 (UTC)

[It didn't matter if it was a little clumsy. The idea was just to enjoy each other's company. Enjoy the moment, the reassurance of this. In being together. At least as far as Sakura saw it, even if their hugs before had been in relief of them being alright or in comforting the other from something that had happened.

This was different. Though not in a bad way. It's a moment she wants to savor, in not being so quick to withdraw as she might otherwise be. Especially when he pulls her in closer, when he closes the gap between them more. She isn't even tense, but she still does seem to relax then, as she listens to the faint beat of his heart. After Magatus, after everything, they were still both fine. Or, they would be. Together.]

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[closed] so save that heart for me

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