recolle | [Closed] Frightful

[Closed] Frightful

WHO: Kamui Brisby (

foeyay) and Elizabeth Brisby (

courageofheart)
WHERE: The Brisby home
WHEN: Middle of the month
WHAT: Tending to your weaknesses
WARNINGS: Nothing egregious I don't think?

[Someone else brought Kamui home with a wretchedly bad fever, and frightening markings on his body. A lot had been happening in Elizabeth's life after her little adventure, particularly with Katsuki - but seeing her oldest sick again, with a burning hot fever and raspy breath? It evoked too many terrifying memories. When he was dragged home, she forced him to stay in bed and rest.

She can't keep to herself when he's like this, but it's been difficult to do anything but fret. She'd insist that he slept, but find herself staying at his bedside instead of resting, herself. She's taken a break only to make a warm brothy soup, and to get a damp rag for him. She's careful not to spill the soup or drop the rag as she pulls a chair up to his bed.]

Kamui?

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You look more tired than I do~

[Kamui hums the response like he's lying in bed because he wants to be rather than because he can't fucking stand. Even sick as a dog, he always has to play like nothing's wrong, like he's above it all. There's no way his mother would be fooled by this facade, but he keeps it up anyway because breaking it would worry her even more.

His pasted on smile doesn't last as long as he'd like it to. It's too damn hot in his head to think, and he's already forgotten what else he was going to say. He moves to sit up, grabbing at his mattress as support against a dizzy spell.]

[She'll take the opportunity to tuck a few pillows behind him after setting the bowl down, helping prop him up a bit before patting his shoulder. His shoulders were a lot bigger and broader than when he was ten years old and wracked with pneumonia, but the difference was nearly invisible to Elizabeth. The sense of dread made her feel like throwing up, a little. But she kept her composure, too... not to keep Kamui from worrying, but for her own sake. She didn't need to fall down the rabbit hole of wishing that Jonathan was still around.

She pressed the cool cloth to his forehead, gently encouraging him to lay back down.]

Even if you fake it, I can see how much you're hurting.

[She says it softly. She remembers very clearly the time Kamui was miserable and crying from how painfully he'd been coughing, completely delirious from pneumonia. She remembers her other boys crying and asking if their brother was going to die like their father did. It's not something she wants to remember, but it will never leave her.]

You need to stay bundled up. I've made you some soup, do you think you can keep it down?

Always.

[Even if he can't keep it down, he's going to eat. He won't beat this by starving himself. He won't beat this by being stubborn either, but that's not something he feels he can give up. Like hell is he going to shed even a single tear, not this time.

He's too restless, uneasy with stomach knots to oblige when she tries to nudge him back down, but he doesn't have any fight left in him either. It's dangerously telling that when he squirms against her touch, there is no force behind it. Elizabeth wins, and Kamui groans as he melts into his sheets.

Weak. Weak. Weak. She's on the verge of tears because you're too weak.

Kamui opens his mouth.]

Aaaaah~

[She carefully spoons out the broth, helping him eat. He'd probably be able to lift the spoon, but Elizabeth certainly didn't want to risk him accidentally tipping a hot soup into his bed while he was likely too weak to bolt out of the way. It was quiet, almost peaceful. Elizabeth felt a little bad that she was so practiced doing this.]

Maybe I should work in a retirement home.

[She says it as a soft joke, once the soup's nearly halfway gone. She stops to flip the damp cloth over to the cooler side for him, taking the moment to brush Kamui's hair away from his face and stroke it gently. He might be a pain in the ass, but she loved him dearly.]

How is it?

[He could certainly spoon the soup himself, but food is one of those things he's never failed to be utterly shameless about. Besides, playing around like this helps to distract from... well, other things. Things he's too disoriented to think over clearly.

Her fingers on his forehead each feel like a brisk kiss, so much cooler than his own fevered temperature. He chuckles under his breath.]

You'd never fit in. [Because she refuses to retire. From anything.] But they'd never let you or your magic hands leave 'cause the food's too good.

Well, this isn't anything too special. It's just a veggie broth. You're just hungry so anything would taste good.

[She just idly keeps running her fingers through his hair, something her mother and grandmother used to do when she was little and was sick, too. She can't remember any time she'd been this ill, though...]

We'll need to go to the hospital soon, I think... you aren't getting any better.

Won't do any good. [He breathes the denial without any real thought about the consequences.] S'not that kind of sick, y'know. I got cursed 'cause I let my guard down. That's all.

[It's honestly the last thing she wants to hear.]

A curse...

[She stops touching him, sitting back and clenching her hands together to keep them from shaking. Magic and curses seemed like something very... farfetched. She wouldn't expect them to be a reality at all! And what she knew about fantasy movies wasn't helping assuage her fears.]

What can I do, then? To help you.

Don't cry. 'Cause I can beat it.

[Or so he's told himself since he began hearing those whispers in the Magatus forest, so he's insisted to everyone who found him stumbling uselessly through the streets.

Kamui closes his eyes and focuses on calming his erratic breaths. He's heard rumors since, that the only way to dispel this would-be curse is to confess. He's not interested in that kind of gaudy display. There is no room for hesitation or self-doubt or dependency - no room for weakness - in his body right now. How can he be expected to win a fight if he doesn't believe he can do it in the first place?

A flash of pain seers the curse markings marring his right side. He jolts, hissing through clenched teeth.]

If I just beat it, then... I'm not weak!

Kamui!

[She's moved onto the bed, trying to see what's happening on his right side, trying to find something she can do. She can't find a damn thing - she can only redirect her worry by going back to wiping down Kamui's face and neck. The tears are falling now, and she couldn't help it.]

Please... I know you're strong, you were always strong. Please let me help.

[And here come the tears. Kamui stalls, pressing pause on his battle with his body as salty drops fall to his sheets. He'd just told her not to, and yet... She's as desperate and earnest as always. His shoulders slump as he resigns himself.

Okay, then. Confessions. He's not giving up the fight; he's just using alternative tactics.]

You already help too much. [Kamui reaches out to his mother's arm and tries to push it away from him. There's no force to the action because he doesn't have the strength for it, but there's no force in the intention either.] If you keep forgiving me like this, I might just surrender and cling back. That's not why I stick around, you know. I'm supposed to be the one protecting you.

You're so like your father.

[She laughs a little sadly. Jonathan wasn't violent, obviously, but he was always strong-willed and determined. He never seemed to need help, and genuinely, Elizabeth couldn't help but completely embrace being protected by her husband, all those years ago.

But for Kamui...]

But you're still my baby. You'll always be, even when I'm old and forgetful and you're getting ready for retirement. I'm your mother... I'm going to help you no matter what you need, you know that?

And if I hurt you? [The question is barely audible over her bittersweet laughter. Kamui shuts his eyes and keeps them closed; he can't look at her now.] I've scared you plenty of times, and you always forgive me. I don't want you to forgive me if I hurt you.

I don't understand.

[He's aggressive, violent, but she still can't picture him ever attacking her.]

I can't imagine it at all. I do get mad, and upset... there are things you do that I wish you wouldn't. But none of that would keep me from worrying about you.

I remember killing a man just because he lost a fight. Imagine what I could do to you.

[That is, without a doubt, one of the scariest things she's heard. And upsettingly, it's not something she never thought he'd say, especially after he started remembering things and acting strangely.]

Kamui... if you need it, I can afford to send you to a therapist. You don't have to be so afraid that you'll hurt someone.

[She brushes his hair with her fingers again, looking about as miserable and torn as she felt.]

I'm not saying I won't be upset, or disappointed, or terrified if you really do hurt me. But it sounds like you don't want to. So just... don't forget the kind of boy you grew up as with me. That's who you really are, and who your brothers are, and who I am.

If you try coughing up a single cent for my messed up head, I'll leave right now.

[She's still touching him. Kamui's not surprised per se, but he hadn't known what to expect and had jumped head first into the worst of it as a result. Yet despite his delivery, despite that she looks like he'd just slapped her across the face, she's still touching him.

It really is hopeless to fight your own mother.]

Besides, they wouldn't be able to understand the problem without the app.

[He sinks ever deeper into the bed sheets, as if trying to become invisible.]

Thinking about this kind of thing isn't like me, but I haven't been able to stop lately. The more I remember, the more I'm convinced you're wrong. That other person is definitely me. I just haven't reached him yet.

[And Elizabeth Brisby is the reason why.]

Even if you remember all of that, it doesn't mean you'll forget your life here. I won't forget you. Even if I remember the faces of the four mice children I had, even if I become a mouse, that won't make me suddenly not your mother. I'll just... be both.

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[Closed] Frightful

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