[closed, quest] meowssion time

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[closed, quest] meowssion time

WHO: Chuuya Nakahara and Baren Kaiyou (Kumou)
WHERE: Somewhere between the city and Magatus
WHEN: April 29th (happy birthday chuuya)
WHAT: Quest time!
WARNINGS: cat jokes

[this wasn't the first thing on chuuya's mind when he made plans for his birthday, but you know what? adventure is better than just going out for drunk karaoke or something, anyway, and considering it's the two of them-- yeah, he doesn't mind at all, especially after they got separated for their last missions.

at least they don't have to deal with too much of a bus ride, though chuuya is still eager to leave the bus by the time they arrive. he hops out and immediately heads off into the field...

and pauses when he realizes the huts in it really are that small, and it isn't a trick of perspective. chuuya gestures at them with a little huff.]

If this is why he thought I'd be good for this mission, we're sending Carly tabasco-filled chocolates later.

[is it because he's small. is it.]

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[can you believe that for once baren is the one having to cancel reservations. because that's most of what he's doing on the bus, because he was trying to be a good boyfriend and remembers things like chuuya's birthday.

that said, he's happier on a mission than on a date and who ever said that this can't be both? he strides out with chuuya and looks over the huts with a laugh because - ]

Is he wrong?

[DON'T PUNCH HIM

because this is about when baren wanders close enough to the huts for inspection that a cat comes wandering out. it meows at him. and paws at him. and baren just... waves... at it

he doesn't seem to realize that this might be why he was brought along on the mission]

Yes, he's fucking wrong-- what, I can't get a pass on short jokes for my birthday?

[HUFFS...

but then there's a cat meowing and pawing at baren. then there's another wandering out from another hut, and another-- chuuya reaches down to offer his hand to one to sniff, but it ignores him in favor of trotting over to baren along with the others.

chuuya straightens, folding his arms.]

...what, did some crazy cat lady go overboard out here? What's with the cat houses?

[oops, that was a huff. baren is about to go and gently nudge chuuya out of his huffiness, but then he's suddenly surrounded by cats. he sighs as he steps around them, because he's... too used to this to actually be weirded out by it.

if some of them try to climb up onto him, he doesn't even stop them]

Cat sanctuary? Maybe they build it themselves. Maybe this is their utopia.

[how much of that is shitposting, how much of it is his actual theory]

I guess there's weirder shit, but c'mon.

[chuuya tries to scoop up a cat, but it wiggles in his arms, meowing plaintively... and climbs up to baren's shoulder when chuuya lets it go. he's been abandoned by all these cats...

he shakes his head and trudges onward through the field while cats continue to trail behind and in front of baren, some running ahead of the two as if to lead them on-- chuuya's watching the ones in front, but he pauses when he feels a prickling against his leg and realizes it's claws poking through his pants. a ginger kitten clambers triumphantly up to his shoulder since there's no room on baren, and chuuya pretends he isn't smiling.]

You think following strange animals is really a good idea, Baren?

Nope, but our options are limited. It at least gives us a direction to go in, but...

[Tanuki was smart enough to claim one of Baren's shoulders - though unfortunately he's going to get nudged off now, given some directions:] You know the drill by now, right? Go check out the area and then find me again. Bring back anything interesting, okay?

[to which tanuki huffs a little bit but... well, he has to protect his kumous! so he hops off and goes to do his job, scurrying away and turning bigger midway through one of his strides so he can cover more ground faster. ah, what would Baren do without all the tools at his disposal...]

He'll come back in a bit, so all we have to do is not get clawed to death before then, I guess.

[says the man covered in cats. he will reach out to scratch under the chin of the ginger gone on chuuya's shoulder though, humming - ] It's like you match.

It is pretty cute, huh...

[the kitten purrs, meowing at the attention, and chuuya continues scratching behind its ears as he continues on--

though he pauses when he starts to catch sight of the damage in the field, the burnt and destroyed huts closer to the edges and the black patches in the grass. maybe it's a good idea to wait for their recon tanuki to make his return before walking into what might be danger, given all that.]

Shit, what happened out here? Pretty sure cats couldn't do any of this.

[his furry passenger meows plaintively and nudges at him, encouraging him to go on, and he shushes it with more pets.]

-hey, c'mon, it's fine.

[Baren blinks as he catches sight of the burnt huts - and automatically moves to kneel besides them, inspecting the damage and tilting his head. Fire? Even as he comes across the patches of black, since his hands are gloved he doesn't have an issue touching the area to investigate what some of the mark might be.]

What's this....

It doesn't look like it's a natural thing? Not like a brushfire.

[The cats on his shoulders meow and some continue to lead the way. His eyes follow the trail of cats up until he catches sight of a larger structure - ]

Another castle...?

[this just isn't the first one he's seen]

Another... how do you get castles and I end up in places like beaver dams, huh.

[that shit's just unfair??

but it seems like the natural place to go, and now that they've seen what's ahead, chuuya figures they can meet tanuki along the way.]

That reminds me, though-- the woods were kind of this way in places. Just didn't seem natural. But they were more... tainted, I guess? Not exactly like this.

Because I had lackeys that could stop time or slice down castles from this distance.

[LACKEYS.... be nice, baren. but he'll follow along, tilting his head as he looks at all the foliage as they proceed onward. he takes notes of areas that seem healthy, the parts that don't, looking for patterns as he overanalyzes everything as per usual.]

What do you mean - tainted, Chuu?

There was this gross purple shit in some places, for one thing.

[that made it pretty obvious. chuuya stoops to examine one of the huts, wincing a little as the cat digs its claws in to keep its perch on his shoulder.]

But I don't see any of that same stuff here...

[chuuya should get more used to being an animal perch]

Ah... but it's probably something like that. No wonder Carly wanted to send us out here.

[but this is about when tanuki is gonna come running back to them - and he's got the souvenir of some rather sad-looking crops. he drops it in baren's hand and baren just turns it over, brow furrowing]

Huh. Well if there's a castle and a shitty village, I think this is pretty straightforward - don't you?

We know where we need to go, yeah? Unless that castle's smaller than it looks...

[he doesn't trust it not to be cat sized, okay.

but when they approach a door that's actually big enough for them to enter and the cats meow for them to enter, chuuya hums appreciatively as he steps through, casually taking point on this just in case. he knows he's the more effective fighter, here.]

So, what do you think? Just pick a direction and start exploring, or--

[-ah. that sure is the sound of voices, but he can't tell where it's coming from.]

[it's a fairly big castle, that much is clear given the fact that they can't pinpoint where the noise is coming from right away. baren tilts his head to evaluate and effectively just chooses one direction and starts walking with the expectation of chuuya falling into step at some point.]

Eh, they can keep themselves entertained while we make ourselves at home. No greeting? That's what they get!

[people arguing???? sounds like a pain in the ass.

but a clue.

so he'll probably just barge in a little late, he doesn't see an issue with that.]

Sounds fine to me. Let's hope there's something interesting to find here.

[it's a castle, of course there will be. it's worth checking out before they go investigate that argument, if they can even find the source of it-- even as they head a little deeper in, chuuya still can't quite identify the direction it's coming from.

there's an odd feeling he can't shake, though, now that they're inside. it isn't oppressive, and it isn't bad, exactly-- just strange.]

...hey, am I just being paranoid, or do you get a weird vibe from this place too?

[he keeps following baren despite it, hands tucked into his pockets.]

Nothing weirder than the rest of the world.

[ - which is to say no, he's fairly relaxed as he always is. He's scanning the walls both for clues and just out of his own genuine curiosity, though as they turn the corner, Baren will probably take another second to realize that he's definitely sporting a cat tail all of a sudden.

There might be a bell on it.

But since this moron already wears bells.

It feels no different.]

[considering he's following behind... chuuya definitely notices the tail, eyes widening a little at the sight of it. is this place fucking with him? is baren fucking with him?]

Baren, is that real--

[-but even as he says it, he's just. grabbing for it to confirm, because What The Fuck.

he's distracted enough by it that he doesn't notice his hat is sitting a little less comfortably on his head, tilted at an angle that lets one ginger cat ear poke out from beneath the brim.]

[all of a sudden it sURE FEELS REAL

Baren jolts at feeling Chuuya suddenly grab - what, his tail? What??? Still, he doesn't take well to being surprised and swivels around immediately to snap - ]

For fuck's sake—

[ - until he realizes that those are ears?? Cat ears? What is.

What.

Hence why he'll just reach out to pick up Chuuya's hat off his head with one hand and the other hand will pet them, I guess.]

Hey, what are--

['-you doing with my hat', except having those ears petted is definitely distracting? what the fuck. chuuya hates this already.

he leans into baren's hand, but only for a moment before he realizes what's going on and jerks away, ears flattening as he reaches for his hat.]

-stop that, I'm not a fucking cat!

[the ears say otherwise?]

[what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

but also]

Beg to differ!

[that was actually pretty funny....

so baren laughs as he moves his hand away to bring the hat outside of chuuya's reach, the other moving to comb through chuuya's hair in what's almost definitely a petting gesture]

C'mon pet, do that again.

[baren's own tail flicks a little, making the bell jingle. rip.]

No! We have shit to do, okay--

[alright, maybe chuuya is still kind of distracted by both the cat features and how nice the petting feels, but he absolutely does not want to admit to that last bit. moving on is the safest option, here; he abandons his hat and ducks away, stalking off ahead of baren.

he's got a tail of his own flicking angrily behind him now, though, long and fluffy and the same shade as his ears.]

We can deal with this later!

[okay but this mission just got about 80% more enjoyable. baren's laughing because while he doesn't understand, he also doesn't see this as a problem?

up until they shrink and get paw pads and have to wander around as actual cats, he doesn't see it as a problem. he claims chuuya's hat for his own for the moment, putting it on his own head and - realizes in that moment that he has black ears now that make it harder for the hat to sit flat.

he's still messing with his hair and the hat - too many accessories - as he follows after with a laugh]

I want to deal with it right meeowwww.

[i hate cat puns but like baren would have no problem with it

that said. they are approaching some place that smells pretty good?]

Baren, if you meow at me again I swear to god...

[...but something really does smell good? chuuya's ears and tail both perk up when he notices it, and he lingers just before the next doorway, poking his head around the frame to peer in and then gesturing for baren to join him.

there sure is a kitchen full of mice chefs, which is pretty adorable, but chuuya is more focused on the food.]

You know- [he keeps his voice to a whisper, there.] We might need to take something with us if we're gonna explore this place. Just in case.

[he's literally about to lean in and nya in chuuya's ear,,

but then his curiosity takes over and he moves to peer in also, head tilting in idle curiosity as he looks at the mice chefs. his hands reach to hold onto his hair bells so he doesn't give them away. he wonders idly if he's supposed to want to chase the mice. he kind of does. but that's more chaos and less cat talking

he whispers back - ]

Okay. Float to the ceiling.

[he came up with a plan too quickly]

Got it.

[hey I can't believe baren is literally making his boyfriend into ceiling cat, what is this quest,

but chuuya casually floats up to the ceiling, perching upside down there. his ears perk as he glances back down to baren, waiting.]

[why did you make me read that with my own eyes

but sure that's fine. baren is apparently in full mischief mode, even removing the bells from his person to make sure that they don't give him away and putting them in his pocket. then he suddenly knocks three times on the door of the kitchen, just barely staying out of sight, and clears his throat. he drops his voice an octave and makes a bellowing demand - ]

Chefs!! The king demands your presence in the audience chamber immediately! All of you, follow me, it's an urgent matter - else it'll be off with your heads!

[stupid,,

but he jumps a second later, hands reaching up with the full expectation of chuuya grabbing onto him before he falls back down.

aaaand just like clockwork, the kitchen is suddenly emptied as the mice scatter out of the kitchen. they turn their heads this way and that, as if trying to figure out where the guard that announced them went, but they know the direction of the audience room so they immediately run off!!

and baren hums easily]

And now we know where the audience chamber is.... ♪

[it takes effort to keep quiet when he wants to laugh at how dramatic this is-- but he doesn't let baren down, either. when he jumps, chuuya is immediately jumping to meet him, taking hold of his hand and pulling him back up to the ceiling.

his ears and tail twitch as he watches the mice scurry away, considering giving chase for a moment, but-- ah, right. there was a reason he wanted them gone.

chuuya brings them back down to the ground and strolls on in to the kitchen, gesturing for baren to follow.]

Now that we know, there's no rush, right? Let's see if these guys are any good at their jobs.

[nice!! baren considers this a success and he'll let himself be brought back down to the floor, tail flicking curiously as he goes to explore the kitchen]

Sample one of everything?

[they're no better than thieves wtf]

Hell yeah.

[they're no better than thieves, but that's why they're good at this kind of thing too, right? it's fine. this is fine.

chuuya's ears perk as he inspects some of their cooking-- there's a big pot of cream, because of course there is, but first he's stealing a bite of their cheese.]

Guess castle mice get the good stuff. Here, try this-

[fine, he'll try it. he doesn't like chuuya trying to feed him romantically but considering that baren's hands are too busy rummaging through the drawers, he'll just lean over and have a taste

he licks his lips after, his tail swishing idly behind him]

That's not bad.

[what is he looking for

another giant knife????]

[yeah that's a very good question, considering baren, and chuuya just. leans over to peer into the drawers.]

Anything interesting in there? What are you looking for, anyway...

[it's a kitchen, he's not sure what there is to find besides food and cutlery.]

[Food, cutlery,

he pulls out a lighter, probably used for birthday candles]

I left mine back in the city...

[so this is his now?? so he's gonna take it. you never know when you might need to set something on fire]

You done sampling the buffet, pet?

Just don't set the place on fire...

[but no, he trusts baren to be responsible enough on missions. he shakes his head, glancing back to the door, then back to baren with a grin and a little flick of his tail.]

Ah, if I want more we can just come back here later, right? Let's go keep exploring.

[so he's off, turning the opposite direction from the one the mice took before; they'll go that way eventually.]

[they well! for now, baren's curious as he peers around, ears perked up curiously. he loves new places after all. he's mindful to listen out for any footsteps in case of unexpected company, but for now he lets his feet guide him easily]

Think this place is magic? Considering all of... this.

[his tail flicks

to make his point]

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[closed, quest] meowssion time

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