recolle | (open) prevolt

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WHO: Clover + you
WHERE: All around Recolle, Pesgare, Magatus
WHEN: the first half of April
WHAT: Clover tries her best to keep herself together, but she's ultimately too much of a melodramatic hot mess to do so. If you want to get insulted, come to Magatus.
WARNINGS: ~~None really unless you count that~~ Four is a very extra, terrible person. Violence. Mentions of self-harm.

i. an unwanted new strength (recolle)

a. when one door closes

[ It could be at the grocery store. It could be any building at Recolle Univerity. It could be at the Towers.

Either way, for some reason, Clover is in a rush, and in her hurry, she pushes a door open too hard, and it crashes into the wall hard enough to leave a dent. Or she pulls a door open, and it comes off one of its hinges.

She freezes in her spot. flabbergasted. Her face turns pale. ]

What do I do...?

[ She can't be terrible enough to make this a hit and run, can she? She has to hold herself responsible, but she can't afford these repairs. ]

b. you throw it away

[ Clover has broken one too many doors already, and she can't deal with another one. She's getting desperate. She doesn't want to deal with this anymore. She can't take it anymore. She's done. She can't face the music.

That's why she hides her contraband in her purse, and she dashes (a little too quickly) for the nearest alley. If there's no dumpster, she moves on. When she finds the nearest dumpster, she stops before it. There's obvious hesitance in her movements, but she reaches into her purse and takes out a broken doorknob.

Catch her in the act of running from alley to alley like a suspicious runaway or in the act of throwing away the evidence of her crime? ]

ii. rescuers down under isn't a ghibli movie (pesgare)

[ If a tsunami caused damage, and there are calls for relief services, of course Clover will go. How could she not? How could she look herself in a mirror if she didn't help?

Of course she stays underwater longer than she should. Of course scales develop where they can. The scales covering her hands make her feel hideous. She's helping, but that's what matters, doesn't it?

Instead of a cliff by the sea, Clover can be found at the dam. The problem is instead of using tools like a reasonable person, she's using her bare fists to break it apart, turning them into a bloody mess. If you're nearby and also working on the dam, she'll turn to you, gesturing as if the skin on her her knuckles isn't broken: ]

Will you let me handle that instead?

iii. the upcoming battle (magatus}

[ Despite its cold climate, Magatus usually gives Clover a sense of odd comfort. A curse is not that.

The forest and its whispers immediately take her down. She tries to drown the voices out first by covering her ears and then by her screams. ]

I'M NOT LIKE THAT!

[ Clover can't bear it anymore. Her newfound agility and strength has her climbing a tree in no time. She rips branches from the trunk and hurls them as hard as she can. They crash into nearby trees and slam onto the ground. Leaves and needles that lasted winter flutter to the ground. ]

That's not who I am! I don't want this! I don't want to be that kind of person!

[ Clover can be found in the midst of all her destruction, or she can be found when all her energy is spent.

She'll be curled on the ground with her face covered by her hands, the lurid green light of the curse mark on her forehead shining through her fingers like a beacon.

There's no use hiding all her failures. ]

iv. wild card

[ If there's anything else you'd like to play with, hit me up via PM or at defenestrates! ]

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[she listens to Clover tell her what she can feel are half-truths at best and frowns, her own hands carefully examining her sister's the whole time. it's pointless to try to convince her to be honest, because Clover probably already thinks she's being honest about this anyway. even if she sounds... detached. she sounds like she's breaking it down into something simpler than it should be.]

[the ingredients in a recipe for poison.]

We should help whenever we can, but... this isn't any of those things. You know this isn't any of those things, Clover. [she looks up and makes direct eye contact with her sister without letting go of her hands.] You're hurting yourself and you don't even sound like you care.

[her lips move as if to make words, but nothing comes out. her throat feels like it's on fire, but the bigger problem is that she can't think of anything to say. she doesn't know if pleading is going to work this time. and she's scared.]

Because I don't.

[ Her small smile is devoid of any warmth, and there is a sense of emptiness to her words. Clover doesn't want to hurt. She doesn't want to hurt at all, but to run away from being hurt one way, she has to hurt another way.

She can't tell she's frightening Lina yet, self-absorbed in her own problems as she is. ]

It's a small price to pay for the greater good.

[ It doesn't matter if it's for a noble cause. Believe her, sister. ]

[don't worry. Lina can make it very, very clear how scared she is. she's seen things in Clover that most people don't get the chance to, just because they're sisters and that's a privilege they have. but this isn't... familiar, this is new and this isn't right and her hands drop.]

[is this what the app does to people? it turns them... hollow? it makes them not care about themselves or what they're doing to their own bodies? or is that the kind of person Clover used to be? is that what Lina's going to become herself?]

[her mouth is still hanging open slightly as she stares at... the body of her sister, acting in a way her sister has never acted. the question she wants to ask is coming out even harder than it would if this were a normal conversation.]

What happened? [she wrestles to find something less accusatory, but the words spill out anyway.] Why aren't you acting like my sister?

[ Lina's words hit her, and Clover stares at Lina for a long second before she laughs quietly and puts her face in her her hands, smearing blood all over.

Who is she? Who is she acting like? Is she Clover, or is she more like Four now? Or is trying so hard not to be Four compromising who she is? ]

I don't know. I don't know who I am anymore.

[ She looks at the dam she was trying to break moments ago. It's a good metaphor in her head: she's trying hard to be a dam to the memories she receives, but it's breaking. She's breaking down, and Lina cut to the chase. ]

[and Lina... even though she's terrified of whatever Clover is turning into, or has already become, she remembers the promise the two of them just made. they're sisters, no matter what. they love each other. and if all it takes for Clover to realize that she's actually acting strange is being called on it... maybe it's not the end of the world yet.]

[her body is trembling ever so slightly, the last vestiges of an attempt to hold back tears (though everything feels so dry right now that she doesn't think she could cry at all). she whispers her sister's name through parched lips, balls her fists, and closes the distance between them to hug her sister tight. she doesn't know if Clover will let her do it, or let her stay there if she does, but that's what Lina has decided her sister deserves right now.]

You're my sister. Please remember that. You have to remember that that's who you are.

[she means it in a "don't lose your way" kind of sense, but she doesn't actually know what happens to people who get too many memories.]

[ Clover at first is very, very still when Lina wraps her arms around her. It takes one beat, two beats, three beats, four— and she starts trembling. She's shaking as she returns the hug, loosely as if afraid her embrace would crush her sister.

Her fingers barely touch Lina's back. ]

But... who is that? Who is Clover?

[ She sounds younger and more lost than she's ever been in years with Lina.

She only knows who she wants to be, who she doesn't want to be. ]

[would it crush her? would Lina care, right now, if it meant she could bring Clover back from this brink? whatever edge she's standing at is invisible to her sister, but Lina will pull her back from it no matter what. she swallows. she has to get through this before her throat is dry.]

My sister. We grew up together, alongside everyone else. We promised we would always love each other and we want to help Jasmine and Rose get along again and we... you're...

[she's finding it hard to put into words just what Clover means to her. she never thought she would have to. not like this, at least, where it seems like everything hinges on her giving exactly the right answer. it's a lot of pressure, but her fists ball up against Clover's back and her fingernails start digging into her palms. she can do this. even if her instincts are telling her to bury her face against Clover's shoulder and cry.]

You are Clover Geteilt. You're my sister, and I love you. No matter what. [she puts emphasis on the last three words.] That's what's important. If you remember that, then we can get through this. Together.

Lina... I... I want to be Clover for as long as I can.

[ Every word is an admission of weakness. Every word is admitting the memories are getting to her. Every word is a confession that she knows more of Four, that she's thinking like Four, feeling like Four. Every word is confirmation that she's closer to the brink Lina thinks she's at.

She presses her face into Lina's shoulder (as much as she can with an air bubble in the way). Should she tell Lina that she's seen her in her memories, too? Not one of them is safe. ]

I love you, too, Lina. I want us to grow older together. I want us to fix our family together. I want us all to be happy and have bright, bright futures.

[ This is Clover. These are words only Clover would say. ]

[no matter what. that's all she's telling herself. no matter what memories Clover is getting, no matter what memories Lina gets, no matter what happens with all of them. she's spent all of her life that's mattered loving her sisters. she would and will do anything for them to help them smile, to let them be happy. it's the least she can do in return for abandoning them like she did.]

We will. We'll still have all that. No matter what happens.

[it's almost a mantra at this point, and she's just glad Clover can't hear her thoughts because it's the only thing keeping Lina grounded right now. even though they're underwater. she's practically a broken record when she next speaks, but she can't think of many other words.]

I won't make you tell me anything about her if you don't want to. But you're never going to become her. You're always going to be my sister, and I'm always going to love you. You don't have to be scared.

[her hands, open and caring and tender, press against Clover's back.]

[ There is so much to be scared of. "We don't have to be scared of this world. Because once I destroy it... there won't be a world to be scared of anymore!" is what rings clearly in Clover's mind.

Zero is out to kill them all. As long as Rose is still Rose, that will never happen, but how long will Rose stay Rose? How long can she stay Clover?

They can't have it all if the no matter what happens happens, if the plot in her memories plays out.

You have too much faith, she wants to say, but she can't. She wants that. She wants to keep that. She wants the faith to stay. She wants the faith to be true. ]

We'll always be sisters. [ In this life, in a past life, in a future life, she's sure. ] I'll.... [ Try. She knows what Lina needs as much as what she needs. ] I'm Clover Geteilt. You're my sister, and I love you. I'll stick to that no matter what.

[ As long as she possibly can. ]

I'm all right now.

[maybe she does. she knows that nothing she says is going to take away the fear, but doesn't she owe this to her sisters? doesn't she owe them this... beacon of light that she's forcing herself to be? she can shine as bright as it takes, she can take everybody else's worries inside her and turn them into joy and happiness and calm and comfort and it doesn't really matter what happens to her of course because as long as she can keep the people she loves happy then everything's going to be worth it.]

You are. You're Clover Geteilt.

[so she has to keep her faith. because without it, she doesn't know who she is.]

I trust you. [she pulls away only slightly, because she's always reluctant to break these embraces with anybody regardless of how awkward their head accessories make them.] If it ever gets bad like this again and I'm not around, please tell me. I'll drop everything for you.

[ Those are words she always wants to hear from anyone, especially her sisters. She wants to be loved enough that someone will come to her no matter what. Those words would usually fill in some of the holes in her heart, but today, it makes her despair. If it gets worse, she doesn't want any of her sisters around.

She takes a breath and feels like she's suffocating. ]

I will.

[ While Lina only pulls away slightly, Clover pulls away even more and backs up until she's only linking hands with Lina. She forces herself to smile for her sister. ]

I will. If things get bad for you, please tell me, too. This can't be a one way street.

[she is. god, she is, and Lina will do everything she can to make sure Clover knows it. and Rose, and Jasmine, and their other sisters who have been spared from this so far. it's what she's here for. it's what she's good at.]

It won't be. If anything happens, I'll tell you. I promise. [she swallows and her own throat feels more constricted than it usually gets when she's about to cry. it... must be the city. right? she shakes it off mentally; she'll figure it out later. whatever's happening to her isn't important right now.]

We're in this together. We'll help each other make it through this, just like we always have. And we'll all come out okay on the other side.

[she doesn't know what "the other side" means here. she's not eager to find out.]

We will. We'll make it work. We'll be fine. We'll make it fine. It'll be all right in the end.

[ She says it more like a mantra than like she truly believes it, but it's a start, and maybe it'll be enough.

She'll work with Lina, with Rose, with Jasmine. She'll work with all her sisters. She'll help all her sisters. That much is true across all lifetimes. It may take time, it may take many tries, but she'll try.

She pulls on one of Lina's hands. ]

For now, though, let's work together to fix this town? Then we can go back and try and get all our sisters together again. Like we've been trying to do all this time?

[ Does she sound like how she usually does? Did? She hopes she does. ]

Yeah. Sounds like a plan.

[she's... Lina lets out a mental sigh because she's not about to show Clover how much of a weight that is off her. she really does believe it's all going to be okay if they just try hard enough, and knowing that Clover is willing to try—or at least believing that she is—means that Lina can let herself relax just a little.]

[talking is still difficult with her scratchy throat and scaly legs that she's suddenly very aware that she has, so she's probably not going to do it much. it's... it might be welcome. she doesn't want to put herself down like that. but she does at least one to say one thing very clearly.]

Thank you.

[ Clover smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. She's a fake, she's a fake, she's faking. She doesn't deserve the thanks, but she accepts it because what else can she do? (She can tell the truth, but the truth hurts. It hurts so much. She doesn't want to hurt Lina, too.) ]

Or maybe we should leave and come back to help later? I'm feeling thirsty, and somehow, being in all this water isn't quenching it. What do you think?

[ Let them (her) get away from the place where Clover lost it. Let them (her) go back to someplace where Clover can be found again. ]

[Lina looks around, past Clover and to the dam, and her heart is tugging at her to turn Clover down and stay here and help out because there are so many people here who need the help. an entire town the victim of a downright supernatural flood. her eyes flit back to her sister.]

Yeah. Let's find someplace else to be.

[she starts kicking her feet just a little more, trying to spur Clover on to get back above water even though there's no way she needs the encouragement. they'll figure this situation out later. thinking along the lines of what Clover suggested, and honestly relieved for any situation that might defuse this, she comes up with an idea.]

Do you want to head back to the city? I can make you a drink at my place. You can relax.

Sure. I'd like that. That sounds nice.

[ She almost asks for an alcoholic beverage that's heavy on the alcohol, but that's too shameless. If she were a better person, a more good person, she'd stay and finish helping fix up Pesgare.

Relaxing may not be possible, but sleep has a siren call she doesn't want to resist. It doesn't take much time before she swims with Lina, and they're on their way out. ]

You should tell me about anything new that's happened to you recently while you make us drinks.

[ She's starting to feel like she's herself in her own skin again. ]

[good. that's the goal. she wants Clover to feel more like Clover instead of whoever she used to be, or whoever she'll turn into—whoever she isn't.]

Of course. I haven't gotten anything that's very interesting so far, but it's been a while since we spent time together just talking over drinks anyway.

[she gives her sister a genuine smile and says what she assumes has to be on both their minds.]

I have some very strong alcohol I can give you. You won't even be able to taste it if you don't want to.

[ Clover laughs softly, mostly genuine, the smallest bit hysterical. ]

Am I that in obvious need of alcohol? I don't mind the burn. I don't mind if you don't have anything very interesting to tell. I want to hear it because it's you.

[ She doesn't want to drill it home with Lina because it likely won't last, but having a mundane life is a dream right now. Only worrying about how to be successful, how not to be a burden, how to show she doesn't need to have parents to love her to make it in life— she misses it. ]

It's not obvious.

[but even if Lina doesn't indulge herself with alcohol very much, she's still a college kid (for now) and she still knows how it can make things a little easier to deal with sometimes. and Clover needing something to be a little easier right now is obvious.][because of the flower.] That way I get to see your smiling face more often, and if anything happens that you want to talk about, I'll be right there.

That sounds good, doesn't it?

Yes, of course.

[ Her smiling face... She's been smiling less and less lately. Should she smile more, make an attempt at it? Would that be better....? ]

It's been a while since I've spent a day with you in any case. We should change that.

[ Clover needs to better (a better person, a better sister, a better anything). She always needs to be better. ]

[and that's what Lina's here for. she'll burn herself out for anybody she loves if it takes even a little stress off their shoulders.]

Yeah. You and me. Oh my gosh, I just made a grocery run before I headed out here. I can make you something more filling than just the terrine. We can have dinner together and talk about everything that's been going on...

[she looks so happy. because she is, of course, but she's going to lean in very, very hard into the idea of doing something normal. not letting the app control their lives. it barely has a foothold in hers, of course, but it will. she knows it's coming.]

I'll make sure you go home tonight feeling better. About everything. That's a promise.

[ It's easier to pretend she's happier when she has such a good example to imitate. If she tries hard enough, she can emulate a fraction of Lina's happiness. ]

I believe you. You try your best to uphold your promises. But... please slow down. I don't need more than the terrine, so don't overextend yourself. I'm so tired I won't be able to appreciate it properly.

[ It's enough that she's there. ]

[Lina nods slowly, kind of... coming to her senses, almost. it's been a very long day. there's not really a need to go completely wild on making her sister food. (though she's only letting up because she doesn't want to push Clover into a worse place with her enthusiasm. doing what her sister wants to do seems like the best option.)]

Okay. Then we can just spend some quiet time together to relax and come down off of all of this.

[she forces a giggle to try to sound like everything's as normal as it was this morning, even though she's still scared for her sister in not a small way. because what if this happens again when Lina isn't there?]

Promise me you'll tell me if something like this happens again, though?

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servileness - 2018-05-07 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

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