Third Trial [Closed]

[falsepretentious]

WHO: The current dangan crew!
WHERE: Kiyotaka and Byakuya's dorm!
WHEN: The 20th or so
WHAT: It's time for another meeting of SHSL Retrospec users to discuss memory-related matters, and this time without Kyouko.
WARNINGS: Discussions of death and murder are likely!

[It was about time for another meeting of those who remembered lives of being Super High School Level students. Between the previous month's event, people catching up on their studies after said event and Kyouko Kirigiri losing her Retrospec memories, it had taken time to arrange for this. This time, Byakuya and Kiyotaka act as the hosts in their dorm, with Byakuya having left out a variety of snacks for people to pick on as they talk.]

I've gathered all of my notes of our discussions from the previous meetings, and I suggest others keep notes as well. [There's no telling when someone else will lose their Retrospec memories.] Now... let's discuss some matters, shall we?

Comments

[optimistical]

[ naegi supposes that he's lucky in a way. lucky that it seemed like the person in his previous life and the person he is now are pretty similar. in a memory, he remembers telling kyouko that he will continue to move forward with the memories of his dead classmates and in another, he recalls that he would still be glad to have known kyouko even if he was forced to do the unthinkable and kill her. despite all the terrible things his other self had to go through, he at least finds some form of... solace in the fact that he can understand his other self's thoughts and actions and he never has to really worry about "becoming" someone that he doesn't align with (unlike many others on the network). ]

[ naegi looks at him and wonders if ishida is speaking right now from experience or if this is a result of the guilt he's feeling from his memories. ]

Mm... yeah, and you constantly question what if you did something different that could have prevented everything and you replay the scene over and over again in your head...

[ again, he realizes that it's more futile for him to even think of things like that. it's a completely different life, right? what's the point when that past is so completely behind him? but it strangely sticks to him and he glances down for a second before he shakes his head and forces his eyes back up to ishida ]

... but we can't and shouldn't focus on that. You'll just go in circles wondering about all the what ifs and you'll never move forward. It's good to hold onto the memories of the person you lost but if you just focus on the guilt, you'll just be... stuck.

[steadycourse]

Over and over...

[Ishida says that quietly to himself, although his thoughts are not just on the killing game anymore. It's strange to think that his past self held himself guilty in a similar manner as him. But it's possible, more than likely, in fact.]

You're right though, you can't focus on the guilt. Sitting around and thinking about what ifs won't help anyone. What's most important is to encompass the ideals they believed in, so at least some part of them still lives on.

[optimistical]

[ he nods. ]

Yeah, and to move on for both their sake and ours.

[ naegi still doesn't know if ishida is currently talking about all this based on his memory and the associated guilt that came with it or based on an experience he had in this life (didn't he say that one of his best friends died?) but he doesn't push. if ishida wants to talk about it then they'll talk about it when they're ready. ]

Anyway... like I said, I don't think we have all the information so we wouldn't really know why you voted for yourself. Monokuma could have put in some new rule on voting or maybe we all agreed not to play his game anymore and just voted for ourselves that time. We don't have enough information to know and that's the same as to why you feel so guilty.

[steadycourse]

[Right, moving on. That's still a work in progress, but he agrees with him. ...Honestly, Ishida is almost certain that moving on is a work in progress for Naegi as well. It's not just something you accept and move on, without ever looking back.

Maybe that's okay, since you should look back sometimes. Just not all the time?? Ishida really can't say what is a good balance right now.]

It's possible... so I'll try not to think about this too much.

[optimistical]

[ things are always easier said than done and naegi suspects that ishida knows that. he nods ]

If you ever need or want to talk about it though, we're all here for you. That's what friends are for.

[ he reiterates an earlier conversation they've had. he strongly believes in friends being able to lean on each other and based on what ishida told him earlier, how he used the words "whining" and "annoying", naegi feels like he has to keep on repeating himself until ishida is able to get over that mentality of being a nuisance. ]

[steadycourse]

[Ishida glances around the room for a moment, his eyes briefly looking at the other students before nodding.]

O-of course, that's what friends are for! If you can't stand straight on your own, get someone to help pull you up!

[Although, he always feels better when he's the one that's pulling people up.]

[optimistical]

[ there's a small smile as naegi nods ]

Exactly. I hope that we can be here to pull you up when you need us.

[ don't try to run away when they're dealing with their survivor's guilt later, ishida. naegi is going to chase after you ]