OPEN POST ♞ I'M A KITTY CAT AND I DANCE DANCE DANCE

[tarotcards]

WHO: Souji Narukami, his 12 cats, and everyone else
WHERE: His extremely haunted and probably in need of animal control's attention house
WHEN: 03/15
WHAT: Souji tries to pretend that it's not his birthday (it's technically not, it's five days in advance) and says that it's his cat's birthday instead. A party where anyone and everyone is invited to Die
WARNINGS: Dumb kids doing dumb things

ONE

Throughout the entire city, you might find flyers stuck up on walls and pillars. Each one has the following drawing, message, and address on them:

"COME CELPURRATE CREAM-SAN'S FANGTASTIC BIRTHDAY PAWTY OF THE YEAR. FUREE FOOD AND DRINKS, I'M NOT KITTEN YOU. BRING YOUR PAWSITIVE CATITUDE (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)✧"

Yeah, that's... that's about it. Below the message contains an address and reiterates that everyone and anyone is invited. Well, free food and drinks, who could really turn that down? Even if it seems like this is a party for furries and is celebrating a cat's birthday, how bad could it be?

Well, the front lawn has a random plastic kiddie pool so maybe that is enough of a warning, but upon entering, it's really not as bad as it seems. Sure, you're going to have to put on these headbands with cat-ears on them and you may need to have a nametag with your name as a cat pun but asides from that, the free food and drinks are there as said in the flyers. Nearly all the food is cat-shaped if it could be helped, from paw-shaped cookies to a cat-shaped cat, but there are normal things too. You know, spiked punch and some poor unfortunate soul who is stuck on the grill to hand burgers or hot dogs. All the good stuff.

Over in the corner of the kitchen through is a mysterious little table that has the sign "TRY IT... IF YOU DARE..." taped onto it. On the table are little plates of... peculiar dishes: a bowl of some mysterious meat that gives off quite a foul smell, cups of coffee so thick that it might as well be sludge and gives off purple smoke (thanks, Elliot), crackers with cat tuna smeared onto them, and little bowls of nothing but pure wasabi in them. It looks like this is a table only for those with a brave heart and an iron stomach so increase your courage here or just stick to the safer foods around the kitchen.

Souji isn't responsible for any deaths or injuries.

TWO

Asides from the foods, you might want to try the random games around the house. There are your usual friendship-ruining games such as Marco Party, Marco Kart, or Monopoly but if you like to keep your friends for another day, you can go play with the twelve cats or fox that Souji apparently has at his house. You can also go over and pay respect to the birthday girl, Cream-san, who is chilling on a chair and is wearing both a birthday crown and cape. She will accept gifts in forms of head pats and belly rubs, but if you're not feeling that, you could also go outside and chill in that tiny plastic kiddie pool. Sure, you might have to be crossing your legs or putting them on top of another person's if you want to share the pool but it'd be a good bonding experience.

You know what else is a good bonding experience?

Water balloon fights. Who cares if it's early spring and that it's still a little chilly? That you could probably catch a cold and freeze out here if you're wet? This all builds character so grab those water balloons and make some new friends by flinging it at someone's face. That's how all friendships start.

THREE

Did you know that this house is haunted? That's right, it has its very own resident ghost all the way in the basement. Some shabby signs around the house encourage for people to head downstairs where it looks like it's the meeting room of some cult. The lights are turned off and the only things that light up the basement are the candles placed around on tables. There is a TV in the corner that shows off nothing but static and lets out a high pitch sound.

In the centre of the room is a plain table with two chairs, one on each side. On the table is an ouija board and a note on it that reads:

"SPEAK TO THE DEAD. THE DEAD WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ATE YOUR VEGGIES AND WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF COOKIES ARE."

Yeah, the resident ghost of the house is an old grandma who just wants to make sure that the kids are eating properly and wants to share her amazing cookie recipes with you. She also has a dead ghost cat named Mittens who will also probably take over the ouija board and knock it over like the good cat that she is. Even in the dead, cats will love knocking shit over.

FOUR

If you head out to the backyard to get some fresh air, there's... well, there's really no way to explain this but just saying that there is a dragon just chilling out there. There is yet another sign hung around its neck:

"SIT IN MY MOUTH AND TAKE A PHOTO. 80% GUARANTEE THAT IT'LL BE SAFE. 0% GUARANTEE YOU'LL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE ROSES. CALL SOUJI IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT MONSTER TO TERRORIZE YOUR LIFE."

So yeah, this is just... a photo booth where you can take pictures of seemingly being eaten by a dragon, getting lifted into the air by a fire demon, chased by a mummy with a knife, nearly getting stabbed by a bancho god, or just chilling with whatever the hell this thing is. It's nice to abuse your Personas for mundane things.

Comments

[compendiem]

[ Minato is too busy burying his face lovingly into cat fur to notice Apollo's stink eye. ]

I might. Was she not socialized as a kitten?

[justchords]

(apollo simply flips him off once, then tries to subtly drag one of the multiple cats smothering minato onto himself.) I don't think so. She was a lone stray when I found her, and I didn't want to just let her back into the wild, so I kept her.

[compendiem]

[ The cat stretches out in between them, Minato having a hand on her cute little bean toes of her front paws, while the cat's tail flicks and tickles Apollo's nose. ]

I guess that works. Warm home, soft bed, a constant supply of food. No cat would turn that away.

[ I forgot about the regain I wanted from this thread, but here is Minato now, producing one of the kitty treats and the cat is swayed, pulling out of Apollo's grasp towards the siren call of food. ]

[justchords]

(he's going to sneeze any moment now because of that tail in his face, but for right now, he'll appreciate being given any attention at all.) She was just a baby then, too. Couldn't have been more than a few weeks old. She needed it.

(no... apollo feels so betrayed... all he can do is pet the cat's butt at this point, a quiet huff of annoyance.) Cheater.

[compendiem]

I wonder what happened to her mother. I work at the vet's, so... it's the sort of stuff I see a lot.

[ Injured animals, sick animals, too-young animals found on their own. There's not much Minato could do, especially when he'd first started out as an intern, but the one thing he got good at was learning what each species of animal needs in terms of nutrition, and make his own special blend of food to help recovery.

The cat treats in his hand are also ones that he'd baked himself, but ngl most of it is just "junk food" and more for taste than anything else. He eats one, and then reaches over to drop another one on the top of Apollo's hand. The cat might have never turned around faster in its life. ]

[justchords]

I... try not to think about that. A lot of the outcomes aren't exactly happy ones. (the mother died, the kitten was abandoned, the mother found a home while the kitten was left behind.

every option leaves apollo likely to cry, so instead he just focuses on taking care of his new princess.

but suddenly!! there is a cat treat in his hand. and said cat is now paying full attention to apollo, licking his hand to snack up the crumbs and sniffing over the rest of him to find more treats.) I feel blessed.

[compendiem]

[ He looks happy. Minato goes ahead and deposits another one on top of Apollo's hand. A second gets tossed a little further, hitting Apollo on the cheek-- but it's okay, there's a cat coming over to soothe his hurts and lick a rough tongue over his face. Little by little the cats get baited over towards Apollo so that Minato can finally sit upright, lean over, and invert the entire bag of cat treats over Apollo's face. ]

[justchords]

(at first, it's definitely a dream come true. cats are flocking to him, nudging him and giving him little kisses, curling up in contentment on him. it's heaven. apollo has died and gone to heaven.

until minato dumps the rest of the treats right on his face, and he begins sputtering to breathe as cats swarm, trying not to inhale cat breath or accidentally eat a treat.

yeah, he's suffering. but still not trying to get the cats off of himself.)

[compendiem]

[ Hey, the cat treats are edible, you know. It's mostly just meat and something to bind everything together. Being smothered by cats must be a great way to die, but it'd be a pity if Apollo were to leave this world without being able to see all these fluffy tails and long whiskers in his face, poking up his nose.

Minato reaches in and brushes some of the food off his eyes. And towards his mouth. It really is just meat. ]