OPEN POST ♞ I'M A KITTY CAT AND I DANCE DANCE DANCE

[tarotcards]

WHO: Souji Narukami, his 12 cats, and everyone else
WHERE: His extremely haunted and probably in need of animal control's attention house
WHEN: 03/15
WHAT: Souji tries to pretend that it's not his birthday (it's technically not, it's five days in advance) and says that it's his cat's birthday instead. A party where anyone and everyone is invited to Die
WARNINGS: Dumb kids doing dumb things

ONE

Throughout the entire city, you might find flyers stuck up on walls and pillars. Each one has the following drawing, message, and address on them:

"COME CELPURRATE CREAM-SAN'S FANGTASTIC BIRTHDAY PAWTY OF THE YEAR. FUREE FOOD AND DRINKS, I'M NOT KITTEN YOU. BRING YOUR PAWSITIVE CATITUDE (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)✧"

Yeah, that's... that's about it. Below the message contains an address and reiterates that everyone and anyone is invited. Well, free food and drinks, who could really turn that down? Even if it seems like this is a party for furries and is celebrating a cat's birthday, how bad could it be?

Well, the front lawn has a random plastic kiddie pool so maybe that is enough of a warning, but upon entering, it's really not as bad as it seems. Sure, you're going to have to put on these headbands with cat-ears on them and you may need to have a nametag with your name as a cat pun but asides from that, the free food and drinks are there as said in the flyers. Nearly all the food is cat-shaped if it could be helped, from paw-shaped cookies to a cat-shaped cat, but there are normal things too. You know, spiked punch and some poor unfortunate soul who is stuck on the grill to hand burgers or hot dogs. All the good stuff.

Over in the corner of the kitchen through is a mysterious little table that has the sign "TRY IT... IF YOU DARE..." taped onto it. On the table are little plates of... peculiar dishes: a bowl of some mysterious meat that gives off quite a foul smell, cups of coffee so thick that it might as well be sludge and gives off purple smoke (thanks, Elliot), crackers with cat tuna smeared onto them, and little bowls of nothing but pure wasabi in them. It looks like this is a table only for those with a brave heart and an iron stomach so increase your courage here or just stick to the safer foods around the kitchen.

Souji isn't responsible for any deaths or injuries.

TWO

Asides from the foods, you might want to try the random games around the house. There are your usual friendship-ruining games such as Marco Party, Marco Kart, or Monopoly but if you like to keep your friends for another day, you can go play with the twelve cats or fox that Souji apparently has at his house. You can also go over and pay respect to the birthday girl, Cream-san, who is chilling on a chair and is wearing both a birthday crown and cape. She will accept gifts in forms of head pats and belly rubs, but if you're not feeling that, you could also go outside and chill in that tiny plastic kiddie pool. Sure, you might have to be crossing your legs or putting them on top of another person's if you want to share the pool but it'd be a good bonding experience.

You know what else is a good bonding experience?

Water balloon fights. Who cares if it's early spring and that it's still a little chilly? That you could probably catch a cold and freeze out here if you're wet? This all builds character so grab those water balloons and make some new friends by flinging it at someone's face. That's how all friendships start.

THREE

Did you know that this house is haunted? That's right, it has its very own resident ghost all the way in the basement. Some shabby signs around the house encourage for people to head downstairs where it looks like it's the meeting room of some cult. The lights are turned off and the only things that light up the basement are the candles placed around on tables. There is a TV in the corner that shows off nothing but static and lets out a high pitch sound.

In the centre of the room is a plain table with two chairs, one on each side. On the table is an ouija board and a note on it that reads:

"SPEAK TO THE DEAD. THE DEAD WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ATE YOUR VEGGIES AND WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF COOKIES ARE."

Yeah, the resident ghost of the house is an old grandma who just wants to make sure that the kids are eating properly and wants to share her amazing cookie recipes with you. She also has a dead ghost cat named Mittens who will also probably take over the ouija board and knock it over like the good cat that she is. Even in the dead, cats will love knocking shit over.

FOUR

If you head out to the backyard to get some fresh air, there's... well, there's really no way to explain this but just saying that there is a dragon just chilling out there. There is yet another sign hung around its neck:

"SIT IN MY MOUTH AND TAKE A PHOTO. 80% GUARANTEE THAT IT'LL BE SAFE. 0% GUARANTEE YOU'LL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE ROSES. CALL SOUJI IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT MONSTER TO TERRORIZE YOUR LIFE."

So yeah, this is just... a photo booth where you can take pictures of seemingly being eaten by a dragon, getting lifted into the air by a fire demon, chased by a mummy with a knife, nearly getting stabbed by a bancho god, or just chilling with whatever the hell this thing is. It's nice to abuse your Personas for mundane things.

Comments

[parodeity]

I think most of the appeal is in the eventual tipsy feelin' you get, honestly. Maybe. Don't quote me on that, I don't actually get drunk all that often.

[truedetective]

I think I've been intoxicated once. I didn't particularly see the appeal. [Sip. She makes a face.] I suppose I can try giving it another chance.

...it might help me, er. "Lighten up?"

[parodeity]

Do you want to lighten up?

[truedetective]

[She's quiet for a little bit at that.] I think that I haven't done myself any favors being as... rigid and distant as I've been, in recent memory. I'd like to start changing that.

[parodeity]

Not a bad goal, but...I think you can probably get there without drinkin'? Not that it's a bad thing to do, if it's a thing you want to do. But maybe start out with going out for coffee with friends or something, and just shooting the breeze.

[truedetective]

The problem isn't necessary a lack of desire, per se. It's that I'm... well, naturally rigid. I'm not very good at "shooting the breeze."

[She eyes the drink in her hand.] And I'd hope that this might help.

[parodeity]

Even if it did, wouldn't it only help you to shoot the breeze when drunk...?

[truedetective]

I genuinely don't know. Perhaps?

I... don't have enough experience in this realm to be able to say either way. Hopefully it'd make me better at relaxation. I'd think.

[parodeity]

Just don't rely on the drinking thing too much, yeah?

[truedetective]

[She frowns slightly, looking at the liquid in the cup.] I mean, I certainly hadn't planned on it.

I just want to know what it feels like. [Whether she's talking about being tipsy, or not being guarded? ...who can say?]

[parodeity]

Hey, as long as you aren't drivin' home I say go for it?

[truedetective]

Oh, I don't have my license. I walk everywhere-- there are benefits to purely living in the city, after all. That's not a concern. [She takes another sip. Makes another face.] Do you... do this often? Go to parties like this?

[parodeity]

Uh, no, not really? Last party I went to was the Narukami's housewarming, actually. Well. And my birthday but there weren't drinks there...

[truedetective]

Hm. At least I'm in good company, then. [Sarcasm? A joke? She says it so deadpan it's hard to tell.

She takes yet another sip.] I can't tell if I'm getting used to it or it's killing off my tastebuds.

[parodeity]

Well. It'll take a while to sink in, regardless, so...the drunk won't be happenin' for a while yet.

[truedetective]

Oh, I'm-- I'm certainly not going to get drunk. I have more self control than that. [She adds:] I think so, at any rate.

I'd just like for there to be a little... looseness, that's all.

[parodeity]

And with that looseness you plan to try to make friends...?

[truedetective]

Yes.

[She says, resolutely.

And then immediately undermines it.] I suppose it's a little late to reconsider my plan at this point, if it's foolish.

[Since her glass is almost empty. And she's not large.]

[parodeity]

It's never too late to kind of reconsider? You can like. Go drink just non-spiked water?

[truedetective]

That's a good point. I suppose. Water does fight the... dehydration effects, as I understand it. But it doesn't make me any less inebriated, as I understand it. [A pause.] I just said that twice. Ah. It's kicked in.