OPEN POST ♞ I'M A KITTY CAT AND I DANCE DANCE DANCE

[tarotcards]

WHO: Souji Narukami, his 12 cats, and everyone else
WHERE: His extremely haunted and probably in need of animal control's attention house
WHEN: 03/15
WHAT: Souji tries to pretend that it's not his birthday (it's technically not, it's five days in advance) and says that it's his cat's birthday instead. A party where anyone and everyone is invited to Die
WARNINGS: Dumb kids doing dumb things

ONE

Throughout the entire city, you might find flyers stuck up on walls and pillars. Each one has the following drawing, message, and address on them:

"COME CELPURRATE CREAM-SAN'S FANGTASTIC BIRTHDAY PAWTY OF THE YEAR. FUREE FOOD AND DRINKS, I'M NOT KITTEN YOU. BRING YOUR PAWSITIVE CATITUDE (๑✪ᆺ✪๑)✧"

Yeah, that's... that's about it. Below the message contains an address and reiterates that everyone and anyone is invited. Well, free food and drinks, who could really turn that down? Even if it seems like this is a party for furries and is celebrating a cat's birthday, how bad could it be?

Well, the front lawn has a random plastic kiddie pool so maybe that is enough of a warning, but upon entering, it's really not as bad as it seems. Sure, you're going to have to put on these headbands with cat-ears on them and you may need to have a nametag with your name as a cat pun but asides from that, the free food and drinks are there as said in the flyers. Nearly all the food is cat-shaped if it could be helped, from paw-shaped cookies to a cat-shaped cat, but there are normal things too. You know, spiked punch and some poor unfortunate soul who is stuck on the grill to hand burgers or hot dogs. All the good stuff.

Over in the corner of the kitchen through is a mysterious little table that has the sign "TRY IT... IF YOU DARE..." taped onto it. On the table are little plates of... peculiar dishes: a bowl of some mysterious meat that gives off quite a foul smell, cups of coffee so thick that it might as well be sludge and gives off purple smoke (thanks, Elliot), crackers with cat tuna smeared onto them, and little bowls of nothing but pure wasabi in them. It looks like this is a table only for those with a brave heart and an iron stomach so increase your courage here or just stick to the safer foods around the kitchen.

Souji isn't responsible for any deaths or injuries.

TWO

Asides from the foods, you might want to try the random games around the house. There are your usual friendship-ruining games such as Marco Party, Marco Kart, or Monopoly but if you like to keep your friends for another day, you can go play with the twelve cats or fox that Souji apparently has at his house. You can also go over and pay respect to the birthday girl, Cream-san, who is chilling on a chair and is wearing both a birthday crown and cape. She will accept gifts in forms of head pats and belly rubs, but if you're not feeling that, you could also go outside and chill in that tiny plastic kiddie pool. Sure, you might have to be crossing your legs or putting them on top of another person's if you want to share the pool but it'd be a good bonding experience.

You know what else is a good bonding experience?

Water balloon fights. Who cares if it's early spring and that it's still a little chilly? That you could probably catch a cold and freeze out here if you're wet? This all builds character so grab those water balloons and make some new friends by flinging it at someone's face. That's how all friendships start.

THREE

Did you know that this house is haunted? That's right, it has its very own resident ghost all the way in the basement. Some shabby signs around the house encourage for people to head downstairs where it looks like it's the meeting room of some cult. The lights are turned off and the only things that light up the basement are the candles placed around on tables. There is a TV in the corner that shows off nothing but static and lets out a high pitch sound.

In the centre of the room is a plain table with two chairs, one on each side. On the table is an ouija board and a note on it that reads:

"SPEAK TO THE DEAD. THE DEAD WANTS TO KNOW IF YOU ATE YOUR VEGGIES AND WHAT YOUR FAVOURITE TYPE OF COOKIES ARE."

Yeah, the resident ghost of the house is an old grandma who just wants to make sure that the kids are eating properly and wants to share her amazing cookie recipes with you. She also has a dead ghost cat named Mittens who will also probably take over the ouija board and knock it over like the good cat that she is. Even in the dead, cats will love knocking shit over.

FOUR

If you head out to the backyard to get some fresh air, there's... well, there's really no way to explain this but just saying that there is a dragon just chilling out there. There is yet another sign hung around its neck:

"SIT IN MY MOUTH AND TAKE A PHOTO. 80% GUARANTEE THAT IT'LL BE SAFE. 0% GUARANTEE YOU'LL COME OUT SMELLING LIKE ROSES. CALL SOUJI IF YOU WANT A DIFFERENT MONSTER TO TERRORIZE YOUR LIFE."

So yeah, this is just... a photo booth where you can take pictures of seemingly being eaten by a dragon, getting lifted into the air by a fire demon, chased by a mummy with a knife, nearly getting stabbed by a bancho god, or just chilling with whatever the hell this thing is. It's nice to abuse your Personas for mundane things.

Comments

2

[fabrefactions]

[ Nice try, Sooj. Yusuke gives the cat an appropriate amount of fuss, before straightening up and holding out a small, A4-ish size parcel. It's not fancily wrapped, it's just neatly wrapped with non-descript paper. ]

After I wish one to to human whose birthday it almost is.

[ Take the gift, Souji. ]

[tarotcards]

[ only if yusuke will let him cry over his shoulder ]

You know you didn't have to get me anything.

[ this is a reason why souji wanted to disguise this party as a birthday for his cat so he doesn't have to get any gifts but he places cream-san on the floor to take this strange (possibly an explosive) package from yusuke ]

[fabrefactions]

I am aware. But I wanted to, and it is polite.

[ Yusuke crouches down as soon as the parcel is out of his hands, to give the cat a pet or two as well. ]

If you are uncomfortable accepting it you don't have to.

[tarotcards]

[ he shakes his head (while cream-san is a slut for pets so she presses her hand against yusuke's hand and begins to purr) ]

No, I appreciate it. Thank you.

[ it'd be rude to turn it down after yusuke went into the effort of bringing it over here so he'll start to unwrap the gift, peeling off the paper to see what it is. i hope it's that painting of the cat you linked ]

[fabrefactions]

[ Oh no.... a cute kitty. He is giving her many pets. ]

You're welcome. It was fun to paint.

[ you'd better believe it's that paint of the cat I linked. ]

[tarotcards]

[ bless u, yusuke, cream-san is enjoying the pets and attention while souji here is getting Emotional. he won't cry on yusuke's shoulder but he will remember this ]

... thank you. This... means a lot. I'll hang it in my room somewhere.

[ i'm truly glad that it's the cat that you linked ]

[fabrefactions]

[ She is a pretty cat, he will happily pet her. It means he doesn't notice Souji's manly tears. ]

Like I said, it was a lot of fun to paint. [ he does glance up at that. ] And I aware you love cats a lot.

[tarotcards]

[ don't ignore his manly tears, yusuke. accept them ]

You know me well.

[ anyone meeting with souji for five seconds would know that he's a furry ]

Have you ever thought about taking on cat commissions?

[fabrefactions]

[ He doesn’t want to embarrass Souji. ]

You don’t keep your love of cats subtle.

[ It’s not a criticism. ]

I do commissions generally, but if I limited myself to cats only that would narrow my market somewhat. [ Or, uh. A lot. Sorry. ]

[tarotcards]

[ he just doesn't want a wet shirt ]

Not with me as a customer.

[ do you see all the stupid shit souji spends his money on?? he will probably be yusuke's number one customer ]

Do you have commissions open right now? Or sometime in the near future?

[fabrefactions]

[ and that, yes. ]

I... [ why is his suspicion rising...? ] usually have commissions open, within reason. What were you considering?

[tarotcards]

[ why does he sound so suspicious......... what is that hesitation.... ]

Well, I was hoping that you could draw my cat, Cream-san. [ the one who's still on the floor and loving yusuke because no one else would love him ] She's my favourite and I would like two drawings of her.

[ this sounds innocent (at first) ]

[fabrefactions]

[ Because he knows you.... Souji........ ]

Cream-san? [ He scratches the top of Cream's head again, feeling the vibrations of the purr through the tips of his fingers. ]

I wouldn't have any reason not to. She's a very pretty cat.

[tarotcards]

[ you don't know a thing about him ]

Thank you. I would love to see you draw her.

[ and now here's the catch ]

Could you draw her on a body pillow, though?

[fabrefactions]

[ Thhhheeeeeeere it is. ]

Pardon.

[tarotcards]

Cream-san on a body pillow. Is that possible?

[ :) ]

[fabrefactions]

...

... Why, though?

[tarotcards]

Why not?

[fabrefactions]

[ I mean. That is.. a fair counterpoint. ]

It is not the common request for what should be on a body pillow.

[ Do you not want one of your boyfriend, Souji? ]

[tarotcards]

[ why get a body pillow of his boyfriend when he has the real thing in his bed already? ]

Should I ask for a humanoid version of Cream-san instead?

[fabrefactions]

[ Ask Goro.

Also, lewd. ]

...

... Please do not.

[tarotcards]

[ :)))))))) ]

But isn't that more "common"?

[fabrefactions]

"Common" is not necessarily good, but it's surprising regardless.

...

[ :(((((( ]

[tarotcards]

Does that mean you won't do it?

[ :))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ]

[fabrefactions]

...

[ Ha. ]

It won't be a cheap endeavour.