recolle | ( CLOSED ) The Beginning Of A New Chapter

[ It's been one week.

One week is how long it took Yato to pull himself back together after Chuuya killed him. It isn't unreasonable to think it might be the same for Yukine.

It's time for Yato to redouble his efforts. He arms himself with his katana and roams the night.

Every stone turned, he turns again. The ghosts in the woods of Recolle whirl and flicker around him, whispering ignorance. None of the patients accepted at the hospital over the past 24 hours look even vaguely familiar. Yukine's name remains unlisted on the app.

They say that spirits are attracted to the places that had meaning to them in life. But Yukine's room remains empty, the Matsuoka household a hollow shell. Recolle High looks haunted at night, but there are no ghosts to haunt it beyond a single eye spirit; it only eyes Yato from afar before shyly puttering away.

Yukine's aunt's house. Chiyo's house. He looks in through open shutters and pulled drapes, but doesn't pause to chat with anyone. There are a lot of spots to check and only so many hours in...

... the... ]

[ There's a speck.

At first, he can't say why it catches his eye. There are plenty of odd spirits that drift and slump across the streets of Recolle. But no, the reason is obvious -- this one is tiny but bright, its light pure enough to pierce its artificial spotlight.

And something curious happens. The harder he looks, the better he can see. A boy. A teenager. A familiar shape, a familiar face.

Yato stumbles into a run, his feet flying to take him to that little speck. ]

[ Japanese begins to spill unthinking from his mouth. They were always calm and collected in his memories, but now he finds himself shouting them desperately as if volume could translate to speed. ]

My name is Yato!

Grasping thy true name, I bind thee here.
With borrowed name, I dub thee my servant.
Thy name its reading, thy vessel its sound.
By my decree, you become my shinki!

[ His index and middle fingers join to draw a character in the air, the old Japanese writing for snow. It stands bold and red, suspended as if painted in ink. ]

Thy name, Yuki!
Thy vessel, Setsu!

Come! Sekki!!

( the bright red kanji for the word snow takes shape in the air underneath yato's fingertips, soaring through the air to reach the spirit that has been left to wander the streets. contact is immediate, the kanji branding itself to the spirit as sign of their eternal contract.

Thy name, Yuki. Thy vessel, Setsu.

there's a flash of light then as the spirit vanishes, reshaping into a long raw blade with thick cloth wrapping around the end as a makeshift hilt as it reappears into yato's grip. )

[ Yato's hand is ready to receive Sekki, another automated motion that seems ingrained in his being.

The blade is flawless. It doesn't seem to reflect light so much as reshape and return it twice as beautifully. Sekki looks more captivating and feels more potent than a secondhand memory could have conveyed, and despite everything -- despite all the effort and anxiety Yato put into slowing Yukine's arrival at the Far Shore -- he had been looking forward to this moment when he would be able to wield a sword befitting a god and gain a companion who could understand his insecurities without needing to be told.

But he feels no excitement as he supports Sekki in both hands, one at its bandage hilt and the other near its middle. From here on out, Yukine's life won't be the same. ]

So it really was your time...

[ He'd had a whisper of hope that Retrospec could have rewound Yukine's body the way they did Chuuya's. ]

[Shouto hasn't been sleeping well for a while now. It's no surprise that he's up at weird hours of the night, even if he keeps rolling over in his bed, hoping sleep will claim him.

No such luck.

And then he hears the yelling from outside his window. That's Yato- why would he be here at this time of night?

Shouto runs out to the balcony and sees Yato with a sword in his hand. ... Is that Yukine? He doesn't know immediately, he's never seen it before. But the sinking feeling in his gut makes him start to believe.

Yukine was Yato's sword.]

[ Then Shouto can watch as Yato suddenly slaps himself in the face and shakes his head violently. He knows what comes next, and it won't do to be wearing a pathetic expression!!

Unaware of his audience, Yato follows with another instinctive command. ]

... Revert, Yuki.

( once more, there is a brilliant shining light as yato speaks, his words a heavenly spell. it envelopes the blade, obscuring its shape as it leaps from cautious hands back onto the spot on sidewalk from which the spirit had been first found. the street lamps flickers then, momentarily dimming the area as the shapeless light begins to take form. underneath its shine, it reveals a young man with soft blonde hair and eerily bright orange eyes.

then there is no more light, nothing but yukine standing underneath the faulty streeplamp in white and red robes that his father had dressed him in before putting him to rest. yukine takes a shaky look around him, face full of panic as he surveys his surroundings. it only takes a glance before he crumples to his knees, hands immediately flying to his face in an useless attempt to hide his expression from view as a hundred emotions explode underneath his ribcage. he can only feel remorse, regret, terror, and hatred as he starts to piece things back together.

he had died. he had died. HE HAD DIED!!

there's a choked sob as he begins to cry, tears freely rolling down his face.

he had died and here yato was, ready at the helm to reclaim him. as his shinki. the thought feels like a hard punch to the chest and he can't bear it. this was truly his destiny. he makes another pathetic noise then, a memory sparking in the back of his mind, recapturing the first time that this happened.

grasping thy true name, i bind thee here. with borrowed name, i dub thee my servant. the name answers the vessel to sound. i call thee as my divine instrument.

i am yato, your master. i have called you back from the far shore to make you my shinki. i hereby permit you to be closer to me than kin, and devote yourself to me for ages to come.

the memory is fresh in his mind, almost like a movie that he had just seen. it feels real and unreal at the same time, a bizarre mix of information that he's never experienced before. all of his other memories had come to him through dreams, consistently leaving yukine with strange feelings of detachment, but this one is different. he can't deny this one. it feels incomparable to the rest or at least it does in this moment when it takes all of yukine's ability not to fall apart at the seams. he hadn't felt like this the first time he had been named, more angry than anything, and yato had been vulgar and unimpressive in ways that yukine wasn't familiar with.

they almost feel like strangers; foreign versions of the people they are now.

but there is a bigger concern. )

My dad—!

( that's all he can croak out underneath his wet hands, voice shaky and rough. he needed to check on his dad. he needed to see him! he needed to see him now! he can't stomach the guilt of leaving him behind, can't stand the thought of his dad believing he had lost him. he needs to find him, he needs him to know that he hadn't left—not his like his mother did. )

[Shouto watches it all from his balcony for a moment. Yukine materializing from the sword. The strangeness of it all doesn't even register. That's Yukine.

Shouto's rushing down the stairs. He doesn't care what he's wearing, he doesn't care that it's cold outside. All he cares about is that Yukine is there. He can see Yukine again and he's real.

It has to be real.

He doesn't know what he's going to do if he's not.

Please still be there by the time he makes it to the ground floor.]

[ The emotions hit Yato like a truck. Not Yato's -- Yukine's. Before Yato can process the fact that Yukine is standing in front of him again, an explosion of confused, cacophonous feelings seize his chest.

They aren't like the feelings he'll get from Aki; those emotions are based in his head, like a status screen to check up on or a sudden awareness that grabs his attention. They aren't even like the feelings he got from Sakura in his memories; those were patient and subdued, easily made into background noise.

Yukine's feelings threaten to drown Yato's heart. If he didn't know in theory what was happening, he would be far worse off -- but now he struggles to push the remorse, regret, terror, and hatred away and create a pocket for himself to breathe in and try to untangle his emotions from Yukine's. Two drowning men can't save each other. One must stay afloat to help the other.

Yato bends, reaching to place a gentle hand on Yukine's shoulder. This boy he's been searching relentlessly for over the past seven days. He didn't expect their reunion to be quite like this. ]

Don't worry, Yuki. We'll call your dad right now.

( in this moment, yukine feels like world's most poorly made doll. his stitches are coming loose, seams ripped, and all of his stuffing bleeding out like it never belonged there in the first place. his heart feels so heavy, bogged down from the weight of his emotions, and he feels as if he's suffocating from it. it didn't matter that yato had tried to prepare him for this, broken down exactly what it meant to be a shinki all that time ago, because nothing could prepare him for the swell of misery threatening to consume him whole.

he makes a choking noise as another sob wracks its way through him and another when a hand finds its way to his shoulder. he hadn't been expecting it. yukine hadn't been expecting for anyone to touch him, much less for him to be able to feel it. irrationally, he felt like that ought to have been robbed from him as well. he lost everything else! why not that too?

shakily, a hand lifts from his face to press against yato's while the other finds purchase against the ground as a means of support. he might not be able to keep himself upfront if he doesn't; the urge to curl inward is far too strong for him to trust himself. yato might be talking to him, but he can't hear it. the sound of his voice just feels like static to him.

everything just feels like static.

he doesn't even notice shouto running towards them. )

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.

( he cries, almost desperately. )

[Yukine is crying. Yukine is crying because- he doesn't know, he can't guess. But god, he missed seeing him in person. He missed him so much, it was like a heavy weight in his chest.

Shouto completely ignores Yato. He doesn't matter right now, only Yukine does.

And as soon as he makes it there, he wraps his arms around his boyfriend. His boyfriend who isn't completely dead. That's a major miracle right in front of his home.]

Yukine.

[ Sorry? What is he sorry for? Yato can feel that Yukine's apology is genuine, but he can't fathom where it's coming from.

Before Yato can dwell on it, Shouto appears out of nowhere and takes Yukine over. It's a surprise, but not entirely unwelcome; Shouto can provide a different kind of comfort than Yato can.

Yato stands and gives the pair some space. If anything, Shouto's arrival is convenient; it gives Yato a moment to breathe and get used to too many sensations at once. He can feel Yukine's name -- just feel it, like it's a part of him. He lets that presence and Yukine's emotions wash over him. He has to get used to handling this level of secondhand emotion, fast. It won't help Yukine to think that he's burdening Yato by having feelings. ]

( the appearance of shouto is another unexpected thing, but not unwelcome. if anything, it's a relief that he's here. he's another person that yukine needs to apologise to. he startles at the initial contact, shoulders pulling inward, but relaxes in the next breath as he realises who those arms belong to.

he makes a noise, a vague approximation of shouto's name, before throwing his arms around him in return. he's all but clinging to him, fists balled up at the back of his shirt.

he's never needed a hug so badly in his life. )

Sorry.

( he repeats very quietly, like a broken record, from where he's pressed his face into shouto's shoulder. )

[He tucks his face gently into Yukine's hair, rubbing his back as soothingly as he can manage. There's still a tremble in his hands, but there's nothing he can do about that.

His heart breaks at the noise and the apology.]

No. Shh. Yukine, it's not your fault. None of this was your fault.

( yukine knows that isn't true. there are so many things that he could have (should have) done differently. he's not sure if he can ever stop apologising for that. this was absolutely his fault.

still, he doesn't say that. he couldn't even if he wanted to. for several long moments, all he can do is hold onto shouto until he gets himself to stop crying. his chest still hurts, overflowing with a nightmarish cocktail of negative emotions, but he does eventually calm down. )

Mmm.

( an acknowledging noise. then looking at over his shoulder at yato, but not separating from shouto. )

Aniki—Uh, Yato. Were you looking for me?

( probably not the best question, but he's not sure if he can ask any of the other questions plaguing him just yet. this seems fine enough.

it has to be late. it's pitch dark outside and shouto is in his pajamas. he had to have been looking for him. )

[ Yato snaps out of his distraction to look at Yukine. ]

Yeah. I thought you might be floating around, but I didn't expect you to look the way you did. Should've snapped a picture...

[ Not that Yato will forget the way Yukine's spirit looked. As quickly as Yato rushed to name him, time seemed to freeze and all the details stood out to Yato's eye in the minute it took for him to recite the words.

Yato has lost a lot of sleep over the past week, and maybe it shows in the lower set of his shoulders and distant focus. But he gives Yukine a small smile, as if to assure him that it hasn't been a problem. ]

How do you feel? Everything in working order?

( is he supposed to be comforted by that? part of him wants to snap, but yukine restrains himself even if it's only because he's terrified that he won't be able to stop screaming once he starts.

maybe later, at another time on another day, he'll ask yato about what he looked like as a spirit.

but there's a frustrated noise at the question. )

I'm dead.

( as if that's any news, but yukine thinks it's a pointless question to ask him. )

So, I don't know. Probably not?

[ Pictures are important to Yato!!

His smile fades, and he crosses his arms. ]

I know you're upset, but work with me. You're wearing what you had on at your funeral, so I want to be sure your body isn't stowing away any more surprises.

[ Remnants of the death wound, complications, preservatives, stitches, blah blah blah. ]

I'll take that answer to mean everything feels fine, though.

( if yato wanted him to work with him, then maybe he should have been a bit more clear about his line of questioning. he lets out an irritated puff of air as he finally pulls away from shouto and stands up.

it's cold outside tonight, but it doesn't stop yukine from yanking his arms of his robes to let the upper part of the fabric fall over his waist where it's been tied. his body is no different than the way he left it with the exception of the tattoo above his collarbone now being a more intense shade of red. there's a scar near his shoulder, from where he had been impaled during the nightmare, and another above his hip where he had been stabbed. it's a sizeable wound and yukine gestures towards it as if it was what yato had wanted to see.

on top of that, there's a new wound at the neck and on his chest from after he had left his body. )

I'm dead!

( he repeats, just a little more insistently this time. )

Look at me! This is forever! It doesn't feel fine!

[Shouto can't help the whimper and the immediate embarrassment as the noise spills out of him. No, don't leave him. Please don't leave him. Not again.]

I can see you! You're right here!

[That's better than really dead, isn't it? He knows he can't see ghosts but-

His voice is soft and broken. He knows it's not his fault that it happened. Objectively it's only the perpetrator.

But... the guilt is creeping back in. He should have been there, he should have done something.

What is he supposed to do?]

[ Yukine's state of mind now versus what it was in their other lives at first conjuring is completely different. This emotional, nearly frantic Yukine is a far cry from the near blank slate of the other one, and it nigh confirms something for Yato he'd only suspected: that the other Yukine hadn't come with memories of his human life...

But that isn't important now. ]

Dammit, Yuki. You know what I meant.

[ Yukine's reaction is upsetting Shouto, and Yato glances at the latter before looking back to the former. Likely nothing Yato can say will calm Yukine down; if anything, he might make it worse. Maybe it's time to recalibrate a little. ]

You two. Talk, hug, do whatever you wanna do. Yuki, I'll be back with clothes for you.

[ Maybe being in his own clothes will help Yukine feel more like himself. Yato turns to hop away. ]

( it's like the world's worst chain reaction. yato's line of conversation is upsetting yukine, yukine's answers are upsetting shouto, and it just continues forward until everyone is upset and no one is the least bit happy with the situation. there's no good way about this or at least not tonight.

it would probably be better if they revisited this conversation in the morning after a bit of breathing room, but there's a very real spark of panic when yato turns away like he's about to do just that. yukine's arm snaps forward, latching onto yato's arm with far too much intensity to be acceptable. )

No.

( there's a squeeze, trying to convey some sort of urgency. )

Don't go to my house. You can't. I—

( he can't do that to his parents. )

I can't let you. Please.

( a pause as he starts pulling up his robe to cover himself again. then he's shifting gears back to their previous conversation while reaching for shouto's hand, squeezing it gently. they're going to have a really shitty conversation soon. )

Tell me. What should I be expecting, Yato? From this?

[ ... Don't go to Yukine's house?

The confusion is plain on Yato's face, but he doesn't try to pull away from Yukine's grip. He turns back, at least for now. ]

That's a pretty loaded question. Physically, you can expect what you've seen out of me. Gravity won't tie you down as much, and people won't be able to see you. Though lately, people on the app have been noticing me on their own...

[ A weird development, but not unwelcome. ]

People won't be able to remember you as well as they used to. If they're not on the app, then forget it -- they won't remember you at all. Only people with a high spiritual sense will be able to consistently keep you in their memories.

To give you a frame of reference, Anya starts forgetting me after not seeing me for about a month. You'll have to keep in contact with people if you want them to stay in your lives.

[Shouto takes Yukine's hand, squeezing it right back.

Fear grips him. He could forget? He could forget everything about boyfriend?

His voice is small.]

Don't let me forget.

( the most pressing concern is shouto. for as much as he wants to keep yato talking, he also is sensible enough to recognise that all of this has be at least a hundred times more frustrating and confusing for shouto than it is for him.

the first thing he does is give shouto's hand a hard squeeze. )

Don't ever worry about something like that! I'm not going to let you. It's okay.

( he's stern about that. he hasn't enough begun to comprehend the meaning behind yato's words yet, but he knows that he needs to assure at least this much. it doesn't matter whether or not he can actually do it, he just needs shouto to believe he can.

then he's turning back to yato.

everything that he's telling him right now is a lot. just a month before people start to forget? that feels like almost no time at all. )

A month. . . ( he repeats, almost as if he's committing it to memory. ) Okay, okay.

Does Anya remember again once you talk to her or is it gone forever?

( CLOSED ) The Beginning Of A New Chapter

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