optimistical: (a)
makoto ❝bullshit talents❞ naegi ([personal profile] optimistical) wrote in [community profile] recolle2018-03-07 01:10 pm

OPEN POST ♞ THE BIRD IN THE BASKET

WHO: Makoto Naegi and anyone else!
WHERE: Literally everywhere in Recolle
WHEN: 03/06
WHAT: There's a crane. There's a crane in the mailbox. There's a crane on university grounds. Help. This is the accompanying network post.
WARNINGS:

ONE
After getting that murder weapon from Retrospec, Naegi thought he wouldn't get anything as bad as that. He means, that's the worst of the worst, right? Nothing can really top that. But this? This... this is definitely bad. Not murder weapon bad but still pretty awful.

It's a giant red-crown crane. It's a giant red-crown crane and it's stuck in the mailbox. It's stuck in the mailbox and Naegi, being the good kid that he is, is left with the terrible duty of getting a wild animal out of it. He honestly doesn't even know where to start and when he tries to move closer to try and help, he just gets pecked twice on the forehead instead.

Pecked really hard.

He stumbles back and just holds his forehead in his hands while the bird still trashes in the mailbox.

He's... he's already done.
TWO
Well, after a minute of dealing with the searing pain of an angry bird pecking you despite you wanting to help, Naegi still tries to figure out a way to get this poor crane out of the mailbox. He takes a deep breath and gets right in there, willing to withstand the Pecks of the North Star to try and shimmy the bird out. However, it would be a lot easier if the bird didn't act like he was trying to take it out so he could eat it or something and trash around like a headless chicken.

"H-Hey, i-it's all right! I'm just trying to help you!"

He says as if the crane can understand and can suddenly realize that this human is, in fact, helping and not trying to kill it. It's going to be a long and difficult fight, resulting in someone losing an eye if this keeps up.

Please help.
THREE
Probably an hour after Naegi gets the bird free, he now doesn't really know what to do with it. There's no way he can take it home because he's pretty sure you can't keep cranes as pets (and he doesn't really want to) but the thing is...

It won't stop following him now.

For a bird that put up such a fight when it was in the mailbox, it now seems to have no problems with Naegi. The thought process is probably like this: "yes, this is a good human. This human saved its life. Gotta follow this human to be safe. Maybe it will be fed. Good human." Something like that. Anyway, Naegi is exasperated by this turn of events and he keeps looking back at it as he walks.

"I'm telling you... You really can't follow me home..."

He sounds so defeated though and that's probably because he knows that he's not going to win this fight. The crane is determined and that's that.
FOUR
Wanna know how determined this crane is to following him, though?

Well, Naegi is at Recolle University, trying to attend class, pick up some supplies from the mentoring office, actually be in the mentoring office to help his mentees, and do some studying at school and this goddamn crane is following him. Throughout the entire school... Naegi is just pretty much trying to ignore it and going through his day like it's completely normal.

Feel free to meet him anywhere on campus grounds because this crane isn't going to leave him alone...
WILDCARD
Anything is game! PM me or toss me a private plurk at [plurk.com profile] northpaws if you want to do something outside the above options or to discuss anything! Will be replying with action tags rather than prose!
frostythehitman: (beneath the surface)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-12 12:53 am (UTC)(link)
[ JESUS, James can't help but take a step back when the bird starts thrashing. ]

Yeah, no wonder, it's trapped in a mailbox! The quicker you get it out of there, the more it's gonna chill out.

[ Probably. He doesn't know anything about swans. Swans? Birds. ]

Do you have food? Lure it out with some stale bread or something.
frostythehitman: (fear is how i fall)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-13 03:15 am (UTC)(link)
Sure it is! Just rip it up into bits to make sure it can swallow them.

[ James is an expert on cranes. (No he is not.) He raises an eyebrow at Naegi at the sight of him holding the bag. ]

What, you want me to do it?
frostythehitman: (somebody help me tame this ~animal~)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-14 03:13 am (UTC)(link)
[ ...Well. The kid doesn't look like he's bleeding or anything, so maybe the bird isn't pecking that hard. Which means he might be able to do it without ruining his hand. James sighs. ]

Alright, alright, let me give it a shot.

[ It takes him a few moments to get his left arm positioned such that it's outstretched, but once it is, he leans down to get a handful of bagel scraps and crumbs, positions them on his prosthetic hand, and then approaches the bird--at first boldly, but then tentatively, step by step.

You can try pecking away at him all you want, you beaky fuck, but it's not like it's gonna hurt a bit. ]
frostythehitman: (too much pressure to take)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-16 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ Wow okay it may not hurt, per se, but he sure is feeling the pecking impact vibrating up his arm all the way to his shoulder, and it doesn't feel great. After a few seconds of aggressive pecking, though, the shoulder joint fails and the arm swings loose back to his side, scattering bread crumbs all over the ground.

First, James checks to make sure his arm's okay--any gouges from the pecking, is his shoulder joint damaged--but once everything checks out to be fine (probably), he kicks some of the breadcrumbs in its direction. ]


Stupid bird.

Okay, new plan. Get one of those long claw grabber things, and use that to push it back into the mailbox.

[ SEND IT BACK FROM WHENCE IT CAME. ]
frostythehitman: (against my will i stand)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-17 04:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ He waves off the concern about his arm ] My arm's fine, it still works okay.

And it's not animal cruelty, it's not like we're trapping it inside of the mailbox! It's just going right back to Retrospec. Like putting it in a dog carrier for transit.

[ Of course, who knows how the Retrospec mail room treats its animals. James does not know and, after dealing with this terrorbird, does not particularly care. ]

What are you even gonna do with it once you have it? It's just gonna go around attacking everything in sight. At least if we push it back in, it's contained.
frostythehitman: (somebody help me tame this ~animal~)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-18 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that sounds nice and all, but that all depends on you getting it out of there first.

You think if we called animal control, they'd actually get it out?
frostythehitman: (fear is how i fall)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-21 05:32 am (UTC)(link)
If it's anyone's job to handle this, it's theirs. Hell, it's probably not even gonna be their first time pulling a bird out of a mailbox.
frostythehitman: (is neverending)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-23 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Wait. Did you say that thing's a crane? I thought it was just a crappy swan!
frostythehitman: (against my will i stand)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-25 05:46 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know, I don't identify swans for a living! What's even the difference between a crane and a swan, anyway?
frostythehitman: (against my will i stand)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-28 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
Of course I've read it. What's that got to do with anything? The ugly duckling was a swan.
frostythehitman: (is neverending)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-29 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh right, like I remember all the details of what a swan looks like! All I know is they're mostly white and have some black on them too.

[ he gestures to the crane. ]

What part of that doesn't fit that bill?
frostythehitman: (that pulls beneath the surface)

[personal profile] frostythehitman 2018-03-31 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He glares at the crane. ]

Just leave it here. Come back later, once it's gotten so desperate it'll let you take it out without being such a dick about it.

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