recolle | [semi-open] how many hugs will be in this log? place your bets

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[semi-open] how many hugs will be in this log? place your bets

WHO: Shuji Tsushima and all his friends who were out of the city and are back.
WHERE: Recolle, which is 100x safer than wherever everyone else was.
WHEN: February 15th.
WHAT: Shuji has one day to check on everyone he knows and he's not going to waste it.
WARNINGS: Nothing as of yet!

[A: text]
[As soon as Shuji learns that people who had volunteered to leave the city are back for a brief period, he wastes absolutely no time. Everyone he's friends who's back is getting a text, something to the tune of:]

Where are you? Can I come see you today?

[B: somewhere in Recolle]
[But if you don't want to thread that part, and just skip to the inevitability of Shuji getting his friend to agree to meet up - and it is inevitable, he has to make sure they're okay with his own eyes - this is the prompt where Shuji spots your character after arranging a meeting and rushes up to them.]

Welcome back!

[He looks like he could hug them at any second. This is probably only a little due to his heartstone's influence.]

[closed to Oda]
[Of course, he'd promised Oda curry, so his lunch date is Odasaku for sure. He's all smiles when he meets Oda outside a really, really nice curry place.]

Welcome home, Odasaku. I hope this place is okay?

[It's probably one of the more expensive places to get curry in Recolle, but sure, ask if it's 'okay'.]

[wildcard]
[You know me, I'm easy. Hit me at

Misheard for anything else.]

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[It's fine!!

Shuji finally unhugs John and picks up the bag! He pulls out the pictures of peach blossoms first, probably on top since they're most squishable.]

You remembered my favorites!

[None of this cute reaction is fake.]

'Course I did!

[ almost a huff. almost ]

'Least I could do, right? [ nevermind that shuji called him 'generous' for this, okay... ]

[There's still more stuff inside, so Shuji pulls out the cherries.]

These look delicious, thank you! I'm pretty sure the 'least you could do' would be not getting me anything, Johnq.

That wasn't even an option, you know.

[ if he's frank; it makes sense to him, okay. he lifts his shoulders in a light shrug. ... god, there are still the actual flowers, aren't there. apparently, he went full ham. ]

But you're welcome.

[There are indeed still the actual flowers. Shuji pulls them out next, pauses for a second like he's not sure what he's looking at, and then hugs them to his chest, smiling wide enough that it actually kind of hurts.]

Have I told you I love you lately?

[Yes, yes he has.]

[ gosh ]

[ john raises a hand to touch somewhat self-consciously at the back of his neck. "i love you" isn't something he hears often, even if shuji has told him-- while different from familial love, it's been a while since he's spoken with his family, after all.

mm. his own smile becomes more subdued, but more sincere through that. ]

[ he's grateful, too. ]

Well... It's not a bad thing to hear from time-to-time, so.

Now you've heard it again.

[And could hear it at any point when Shuji even suspects he's feeling lonely or unloved. He's never safe from affection.]

...Atsushi thought we were dating, for some reason.

[Can't imagine why.]

[ fOR sOME REASON ]

[ that does garner a brief look of confusion — dating?? — before he. has to suppress something of a laugh.but for the fact that he very nearly smacks his hand against his face, too. ]

Ahh, you know-- without context or anythin', I wouldn't say I blame the guy much.

[ he gestures vaguely: hugging, exchanging flowers, i love yous. ]

[All of that does sound a little suspect.]

Well, it does make more sense than a lot of things. He could've thought you were dating Chuuya, or something.

[...]

If he thought I was datin' Chuuya, I'd worry 'bout him instead.

You two aren't getting along very well, are you...?

[He doesn't want to say he knows about the deal, but he also doesn't want anybody to attempt murder.]

[ ... john's eyes narrow minutely at that, just for half a second. he's, yeah, wondering how much shuji might know if he'd surmise something like that. but perhaps it's an innocent conclusion: the last time he'd spoken of the man, after all, john had been only empathetic.

funny how retrospec changes things. ]

Nothin' worth rehashin'; I've got it handled.

If you say so, then I believe you.

[Or at least he believes it isn't going to come to the point of violence.]

I'm sort of glad I still haven't remembered the only other person from past me's world.

Yeah?

[ --shoot, hold on. he thinks he has a name on the tip of his tongue for who shuji might be referring to; it's just been a while. ]

Why's that?

Because I don't want my opinion of them to be colored by remembering things their past self did. Like with you - I'm best friends with you. It doesn't matter what that guy got up to.

[So that kind of memory is worse than pointless.]

[ ah. ]

[ john's smile slips, just a moment. it's hard to immediately articulate how feels about that. -- "guilt" wouldn't be a far cry, maybe. ]

... You say that so easily.

[ but, despite that, not said without a pinch of fondness. ]

That's because it's easy for me.

[John is his best friend - that's just how it is. What Steinbeck did isn't important, at least not when it comes to what he thinks of John.]

I'll say that as many times as you need to hear it.

Thanks.

[ and he does mean it, even if it isn't expressed in as heartfelt a manner as he wishes. but if john were more prone to fidgeting, perhaps he'd be anxiously picking a thumb, wringing his hands together, or suddenly finding some mark on the ground infinitely more interesting to fixate upon.

but he's not, so. his hands remain settled in his pockets. ]

—I've been wonderin', though. [ he voice halts before it picks back up. ] What if I did become more like my past self?

...There's lots of ways somebody can be like somebody else.

[Maybe Steinbeck had different fashion sense, or something.]

But you mean 'what if I became a worse person'?

[ don't get your hopes up for that shuji ]

[ he nods. ]

Yeah. A worse person.

If that ever happened, it'd be because of this Retrospec stuff happening to you, not because you wanted to be worse. It'd be like you getting sick. I wouldn't abandon you just because you got sick and I won't abandon you because of changes out of your control.

[And it would have to be like that, because John wouldn't willingly choose to become that person, not ever.]

Sorry, but you're still stuck with me.

[ ... "like you getting sick."

john's gaze drops, then. it's hit him before, it hits him now harder than ever: how much he's undeserving of shuji. his stomach twists into an unpleasant knot; it's a complex mess of emotions, relief that he'd--or steinbeck, maybe?-- have at least one person left by his side. but that's quickly followed by a heavy dread settling over his shoulders.

he's lucky, he knows. ]

What if I hurt you? [ not that he wants that to happen, not ever. but he remembers doing a lot of things he didn't want to do, the feeling of joy at inflicted suffering aside. ] You shouldn't be around someone like that.

[What if he hurts Shuji?

Shuji has to consider his reply. He could say 'past me was an asshole, maybe you should be worrying', but Dazai's assholery wasn't on par with torturing a child, not as far as he knows. He could say 'Sakura would break your kneecaps', and while that's true, it probably won't make John feel much better.

It takes him a minute, but when he finally has his answer, he very gently sets his hand on John's cheek.]

What if you don't? What if you push your friends away because of something that never happens?

[It's not that he doesn't understand John's concern. He's afraid of becoming the person that he was, a worse person, and hurting the people around him.

It's just that he's afraid of John being alone more.]

[ john can't help counting the seconds in his head, passing by in silence that eats away at him. he almost startles when he feels shuji's hand at his face; it's gentle, kind. it hurts a bit more at the reminder that shuji's so good to him-- and the answer, although it's in the form of a question, isn't just meaningless reassurances that he finds hopeless from time to time.

he lifts his hand to hold shuji's, too, if but for a moment, letting it rest there. and then he nods, allowing his arm to fall back to his side.

it's like kenta shared: I have no way to tell one way or the other... but I can't keep wondering. ]

... I guess so.

[ it shouldn't be something effortful on his part-- he's sure if, or when, anything gets worse, it'll happen naturally. even if boundaries are necessary, that's just the way it'll be. after another pause, ]

I don't think he had many friends. [ that should be obvious. john remembers having.. one, perhaps, for certain; he isn't sure how things would've been if lovecraft weren't someone he shared a friendship with. worse. he can't say something as lofty as maybe if he had you as a friend, too, things would be different: because they wouldn't be so, steinbeck would still do as he did. even hypothetically, there wouldn't be any stopping that. but... ] So-- thank you. I'm glad that you'll stick by me.

[Shuji takes a step back when John drops his arm, something approaching a platonic distance. John needs his distance to some degree, he knows.]

Past me was kind of a dick, so maybe I should be the one thanking you for putting up with him.

[It's said lightly, even if it's entirely sincere. Nobody was having a good time with that heart-to-heart, and this is John's one day off. Shuji doesn't want to ruin it.]

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