[OPEN]
WHO: Sanji and you poor fools
WHERE: Various (pretty much any district of your choosing + subway)
WHEN: Mid January
WHAT: Retrospec gave him back his super strength and his ability to set himself on fire. It goes as well as expected. Also, tunnel shenanigans.
WARNINGS: His potty mouth. There's a looot of curse words under here.
I. I came in like a wrecking ball
II. Flambé
III. Tunnel Entrance
IV. Wildcard
WHERE: Various (pretty much any district of your choosing + subway)
WHEN: Mid January
WHAT: Retrospec gave him back his super strength and his ability to set himself on fire. It goes as well as expected. Also, tunnel shenanigans.
WARNINGS: His potty mouth. There's a looot of curse words under here.
I. I came in like a wrecking ball
[So, Retrospec.
Ever accidentally kicked your foot through a wall? Yes? Then you’ll know how messy that shit actually is, how it's not nearly as cool as the movies make it out to be. Imagine all the bits of plaster on the floor, the dust and debris spattered at the bottom of your expensive slacks, or the sudden draft blowing up your jacket because it’s chilly as hell outside -- and never mind the stares you get for your abrupt use of property damage.
And before you say shit – because you are probably gonna say shit, aren't you? -- Sanji holds up a hand to stop whoever is nearby, dead-eyed and staring like he’s already seen this play out three times already:]
I don’t wanna hear it.
[Yanking his leg back out, yes, as a chunk of the wall of this random building crumbles like a wet cookie.]
II. Flambé
[Sanji’s been angry before. That’s nothing new. But life has taught him it’s better to boil under the lid rather than erupt like a volcano. So he tries, alright? Despite his feet finding new and inventive ways to break everything they come in contact with, he fuckin tries to keep it together.
But in the end, all it takes is one too many times tripping into wanton destruction before he loses it. The dome's eternal darkness makes it too easy to lose his footing, and be it a stray cat, or tree root, or some unfortunate soul that runs into him (possibly you), Sanji yelps during the collision with his legs twisting for purchase –
And accidentally punches his leg through a... tree.]
-- For shitty fuck’s sake already--!
[It’s with a guttural howl that he erupts, heat and flames bursting forth in tribute at the hidden moon, bright enough that he could be seen for miles in the dark if there weren’t so many buildings surrounding him. He is done. He has had it. He is--
He is on fire.
-- Holy shit he's on fire, immediately patting himself down to tame the flames and screeching in terror--]
O-oi! Are you fuckin--!! S-someone help me out here!
[Please help before he burns down the city.]
III. Tunnel Entrance
[One would think after losing both his phone and wallet to the subway gods, Sanji would know better than to trespass here. And you'd be correct --
Except this time he, uh, lost one of his shoes.
So fuck it, back in he goes, wincing in disgust each time his uncovered foot touches the grime and rat piss he knows he's stepping in. The only positive here are his kicks can make meat pies out of those overgrown rodents, and they must sense it -- the vast majority refuse to approach him.
To any companion he suckered into helping him with his search:]
How much hush money I gotta pay you to keep quiet about the shoe?
IV. Wildcard
[ooc: Got a certain idea you want played out? Hit me up atignitible or PM this journal.
Also of note is despite the shits and giggles, let's keep the property damage low (that poor abandoned building and tree notwithstanding). I'm not actually looking to set the entire city on fire.
It's also cool to use pretty much any method to put out Sanji's fire. Do you see who I play? I've long since abandoned my sense of shame.]


iii
[Baren's holding the flashlight - he has no issues with exploring, apparently? Tanuki sits on his shoulder and for once Baren's glad that his animal magnetism doesn't apply to the assortment of rats wandering around here. He ignores if they stare after him forlornly regardless.
That said, apparently Sanji roasting time isn't done so.]
... saw a video on twitter about some idiot on fire the other day.
[He stares at Sanji.
He stares blatantly.]
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Yep, Sanji is feeling it.]
That right? Huh.
[Glaaaancing forward, which really is a terrible mistake, it just means Baren gets a better look at his slowly reddening ears]
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He leans over to blow into his ear.]
Yup!
[Popping the 'p' at the end to add insult to injury.
He knows, Sanji.
He knows.]
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i
I wasn't! I mean-- that could... happen to anyone, right?
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That said, he's not gonna be an ass to her, instead trading his disdain for pinching the bridge of his nose]
In this shit town? ... Alright, I give you that one.
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ii.
Somebody needs to get water! A literal shit ton of water! Or call 911! Or- or...
Take out their phone and start recording a video. That works too.]
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... So uh, Kamui, you got like a solid 30 seconds before the disaster on fire comes barreling your way.]
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Without much time to think of a better plan than running away (which he's not going to do, dammit), Kamui is forced to react on pure instinct. One manic roar later, he kicks a clump of mud at Sanji's face.]
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ii
Oh, and.
That's someone on fire.
He hasn't actually made the connection between "that yelling sounds familiar" and "the person who is on fire is Sanji" yet, but his reaction is fairly instantaneous, and not actually impacted by knowing or not knowing who's on fire. Hope you secretly enjoyed having your feet iced to the ground that one time, Sanji, because now your legs are kinda iced. Whether it's going to work against all that fire, who knows, but let it be known He Tried. ]
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And it's the shock that snaps him out of it, if only briefly, causing the flames to unceremoniously vanish without a trace. What's left is Sanji staring dumb-eyed in front of him as his body regulators try to catch him up to speed:
Legs? Cold. That is bad. We don't like cold--]
Who the shitty hell just iced me?!
[Oh wait, we still angry? That's fine, but that's another round of fire from the waist up, so--]
-- Wait wait wait do my top half now!
[Poor bastard doesn't realize he's been speaking in French the entire time. So uh, what do, Yusuke? Sanji is currently iced in place and on fire.]
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I but please god let's work in some fire
The lighting isn't great for it honestly, but she's got a streetlight on her side and I Really don't know what you expected? ]
I'll make sure that I, personally, forget it!
[ But not her phone. ]
WE WILL MAKE IT WORK
Funny, didn't figure your memory that shit.
[Nodding at her phone]
Ya finished or should I pose, too?
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I
[ Honestly, if Jamie had been closer to the epicenter (as it were) of the incident, this unusually powerful act of property damage would have gotten a pretty big reaction, but... he's all the way over here, and he's got a few other things on his mind at the moment.
Still, it gets his attention. (There aren't too many other people in this particular corner of this particular floor of this particular campus building at this particular time of day, so there's not a lot else to focus on.) In fact, he almost spilled his Trenta iced coffee! ]
... Hear what?
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Good answer.
[Well done, Jamie, you're one of the few Sanji doesn't want to tar and feather today. Pay no attention to the gaping hole in the wall.]
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i
[ Because of course she's already uploaded a picture. ]
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[Like, he can't even be completely mad? He will acknowledge that skill.]
-- Oi oi, tell me you didn't get me in the shot, too!
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II
Sanji?! What- what in the world?!
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[Ever seen chickens with their heads cut off, Byakuya? It's actually true, they flail around like the devil has possessed their dead bodies, and Sanji's in the middle of a truly convincing reenactment, arms and legs flailing wildly]
Oi, would you get some water already before I die?!
[DON'T LOSE YOUR FAVORITE MINION, BYAKUYA.]
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i
and even though sanji told him that he doesn't wanna hear it, odasaku can't help but be a bit worried over the state of that leg. ]
Is your leg okay?
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Sanji hates those, so sorry Odasaku, there's nothing tolerant in his retorts today.]
It's fine, worry more about that shitty wall.
[Because it sure is a shitshow right now. Sanji's foot busted through to the other side, and while he was lucky enough to avoid damaging any critical supports... someone's not gonna like the bill to fix it.]
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ii
Don't run here! This is a gas station!!
[WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND IT'S GOING TO LOOK LIKE MICHAEL BAY DID IT]
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[Because that's obviously where the problem lies. At least the man on fire seems to listen? And actually halts in place like he's frozen underneath that layer of flame]
Which way do I run then?!
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Locked to Haru
[Sanji's reasons for hanging near the tunnel's entrance boil down to "boredom" and "I sure as shit lost my wallet somehow" -- meaning running into Haru had been an accident doomed to happen. And he's accompanied her at her insistence, figuring he could do a lot worse than her company this deep in the subway tunnels.
... That uh. That axe is new, though.
Not gonna explain that, Haru? No? Okay... well. That's fine. Sanji will just whip out his own phone, half-chewed from a previous rat encounter, switching on its flashlight]
This better? I got about 50% left on it.
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If you don't ask, you're not going to get an explanation. Okay? Okay.
Haru bites her bottom lip a little before she puts her phone in sleep mode and pockets it, giving Sanji a smile as she does so.]
That's about how much my phone has left. If we switch out, we'll have a full battery between the two of us!
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