[ CLOSED ] the odd family

[constellates]

WHO: Anya, Karkat, Yato, and Howard (sometimes a family is an idol, an alien, a god, and a grinch)
WHERE: Anya's house
WHEN: backdated to Christmas Eve!
WHAT: this is the most random collection of people for christmas and yet here we are
WARNINGS: probably none!

[Anya loves Christmas.

Anya is also determined to spread that same love of Christmas to literally everyone she knows. Even a little forcibly. But is it really forcing or just highly pressing encouragement?

Regardless that's what the guests will be greeted with whenever they come into her home for Christmas Eve. The entire house has been decorated from head to toe, Christmas lights blinking and happy penguin decorations ice skating outside. Inside there's the smell of gingerbread cookies and peppermint even if the taste isn't quite there, and Anya greets all the guests with a hug and an early present. She most certainly asked Kashuu Kiyomitsu himself to design and put together Christmas sweaters for all of them to wear. Is this a family gathering or what?? A goofy family photo must be taken by the end of the night.

Yet Anya claps her hands happily once everyone files in, beaming.

This is her favorite day of the year with her favorite people?]

Отлично...! Perfect! Ah - does everyone know each other...?

[Or is this really a gathering of strangers held together by an idol girl.]

Comments

[goen]

[ It's C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S (almost)!!!

Yato is so ready for this Christmas pre-game, comfortable in his matching Christmas sweater and bearing a fruitcake because they can actually taste fruit and bread. His cheerfulness is at a 10/10 as he replies to Anya's question. ]

Of course! That's the cat guy, and that's the guy who hates vegetables.

[ He knows their names, but these traits are more important? ]

[ohrlyeh]

I suppose "cat guy" is an adequate description...

[Says Howard, donned in Christmas sweater splendor. He's looking down at the thing, just picking at the little pom-poms stuck to the front with an unamused look.]

Do these have to be so....garish?

[alienates]

[ he just shoots yato a look. he knows you know his name, you asshole.

howard is the only person who is a complete and utter stranger here, and he also kind of looks like the crypt keeper, but no one else is mentioning that so maybe??? that's normal??? ]

I told her not to do it. [ the sweaters, he means. ]

[goen]

[ Before Anya can respond, Yato butts in. ]

What?! These sweaters are great! They're even handmade! Do you even know how much time and love goes into these?!

[ohrlyeh]

Time and love I can see, but talent...

[He doesn't finish the sentence. He just looks over at Yato before giving a shrug. He's a mean one, Mr. Carter.]

[constellates]

[Ah yes.

These are her boys. She tilts her head, gently confused and spirits just barely dampened.]

You do not like...? I asked a friend...

[Kiyomitsu's hard work, applied to Christmas sweaters. Well - ]

Mm, but if you can feel the love, that is most important.

[alienates]

[ okay karkat doesn't like them on principle but he is, actually, friends with the person who made them so he can't allow someone to imply kashuu isn't talented. ]

Oi. Just because they're hideous doesn't mean there isn't talent involved.

[ that's directed at howard. it's.... it's sort of a compliment. SORRY KIYOMITSU.... ]

[goen]

They aren't hideous!

[ But Yato's approval might be the deepest insult of all...

He reveals a large bottle of wine that he was somehow able to conceal in his jacket and slaps it down by his fruitcake. ]

Anyway, you can't have a Christmas party without wine to celebrate. No objections allowed.

[ohrlyeh]

Are you two old enough to have wine...?

[Says the 28 year old, gazing with some level of concern over at Karkat and Yato. LOOK. LOOK, HE'S BAD WITH AGES. HE DOESN'T KNOW THESE THINGS.]

I don't think alcohol is always necessary...I mean, Anya is under the age limit too...

[constellates]

[Meanwhile:]

It is okay, Anya has had some before. Just a little bit is okay?

[ . . . well.

At least she's honest.]

[goen]

I'm twenty-two. And I work at a bar. And I'm a god.

[ The last point is 99% irrelevant, but look he feels like he is at least somewhat immune to the law. ]

Don't be so fussy. It isn't illegal for minors to drink at home. [ In the presence of parents. In most states. ]

[alienates]

[ he just slowly looks at yato at the "i'm a god" comment but decides that he doesn't care enough to deal with that right now. who cares. all of their lives are collectively absurd. ]

I'm pretty sure no one here is planning on doing shots and busting out a keg, so we're fine.

[ AS HILARIOUS AS IT WOULD BE TO WITNESS ANYA DOWNING A KEG, he is fairly certain that is not how tonight is going to end. ]

[ohrlyeh]

You're a what, now?

[He's...just going to pretend that's a joke. Yes.]

Well...as long as you don't go overboard, I'm sure that's okay...

[Howard fails his perception check of Being a Responsible Adult. What else is new.]

Anyways, um. Anya, do you have something else to drink? Like hot chocolate...that's quite apt for the holiday season, I think.

[constellates]

[Someone give Anya a keg for Christmas.

But she doesn't even flinch. Yes. Yato is a god. Karkat has horns. This is life now. Howard will eventually get with the memo (even if they would later regret that command).

Anya just seems to perk up at that - ]

Да! I can make hot chocolate for Mr. Carter. Please make sure Yato does not have too much to drink while I do?

[who's responsible here again]

[goen]

[ Wow?? Yato can control his liquor intake?? (he can't)

To Howard: ]

You don't even like wine?! You really do have the taste of an eight-year-old!

[alienates]

Or you're a fucking lush, dude, either or.

[ he plans on following anya into the kitchen like a puppy following their owner around, so. ]

[ohrlyeh]

Hot chocolate is for all ages. Wine is only for people in the middle of their lives who hate themselves.

[HOWARD??????]

[Anyways, he would follow Anya, but he was given a task, and he aims to make it happen. Yato, you're under his DIRECT SUPERVISION.]

What's a lush...?

[goen]

Bourgeois $20 bar soap.

[ ... dammit he should've followed anya faster ]

What's your first name, anyway. I'm not calling you Mr. Carter.

[constellates]

[nope it's besties time in the kitchen. it's also time to make some hot chocolate?? anya is humming happily as she goes because - ]

I am glad we are all getting along.

[is that what's happening]

[alienates]

[ HAHA FUCKERS TOO SLOW ]

Yeah, we are definitely doing that. How exactly did everyone end up here?

[ he assumes yato just showed up??? who the fuck is the other guy. ]

[ohrlyeh]

Why would he call me soap...?

[He stares down at Yato, unamused.] I'm Howard. Just call me that. And who are you, mister god...?

[ILLUMINATING CONVERSATIONS OUT HERE WAITING FOR HOT CHOCOLATE.]

[goen]

My name's Yato. We talked once on Retrospec. I'm Anya's producer, too.

[ Yato is "Yaboku Tomioka" on the network, but he ain't got no time for that. He also ain't got time to remember Howard's name apparently, even though he remembers Howard's face. ]

Are you one of Anya's teachers or something?

[ As far as Yato is concerned, "misters" are teachers, officials, and uppity up corporatefolk. ]