recolle | (Closed) ......what is this disaster?

(Closed) ......what is this disaster?

WHO: Biffy and Orion
WHERE: Orion's place
WHEN: 12/4
WHAT: Orion invites Biffy over. Biffy has nightmares over what he sees.
WARNINGS: Orion is a slob, guys.

It had been sweet of Orion to want to invite him over. Already Orion had been over to his place for movies so it only made sense that they would go to his place next. Biffy was curious to see it anyway. Besides, he certainly did want to know where the other lived. It could be helpful in the future since it looked like they were actually going to continue seeing each other. Maybe even make things official at some point.

Wouldn't that be nice?

He smiled do himself as he knocked on the door he'd been told to go to. He was dressed in pants so dark blue they almost looked black and a shirt in a cream color. His curls were styled to perfection, not a lock out of place. Those kind blue eyes of his were even sparkling a little, excited to partake in this.

And so he stepped back to wait for the door to open.

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On the other side of the door, Biffy might hear an oh, shit! followed by frantic scrambling. Did that wall just shake after a muffled boom? Along with some muted swearing.

Orion had overslept, as he unfortunately tends to do when he's supposed to be awake for something other than work.

And so the usual afternoon scramble begins as it traditionally does. With Orion searching the littered piles of clothes through the apartment for his least rank shirt, wrinkled as he pulls it on. Finding a pair of jeans to go with it, and running a hand through his bedhead as he scrambles to the door.

A breath as he recalls who his company is supposed to be; it's got to be Biffy. And then he opens the door, stepping aside to let Biffy in.

"Hi," is all he manages to say, between sleep and holding his breath. The boy he likes finally in his home.

Edited 2017-12-05 04:52 (UTC)

He blinked at the sudden crashing noise. Was everything alright in there? Should he get help? He listened some more and he supposed he could justify that noise as something along the lines of Orion in a scuffle with someone. Getting his phone out, he was ready to call for help when the door opened and there was Orion in wrinkled clothes looking as if he'd just crawled out of bed.

A few more blinks and then he offered him a smile. Well, the wrinkled clothes and messy hair weren't exactly presentable but they had some endearing quality to them this one time. Mainly because Orion had been trying to make himself presentable for him. Biffy was willing to allow credit for trying.

"Hello there."

He stepped inside and immediately his eyes widened. There was trash all over the place. He wasn't even sure what some of the stuff was or how long it had been there. Was any surface even safe enough to sit on? Lean against? Biffy was actually hesitating to enter further as he took it all in.

(On a side note, was Orion still drinking alcohol when it wasn't good for him? The bottles suggested so...)

There were moments that could haunt people and this was one of them. Maybe though he could give him the benefit of the doubt? Assume that maybe there was a struggle and Orion had only just chased the person out through a window? Some...heroic thing like that?

He slowly turned to face him.

"Did...someone break in?"

"Wha-?" Orion looks around the apartment, as if to see if anything were missing. A moment of being on edge at the thought of someone breaking into his apartment. Was it the hidden camera stalker thing all over again? But... nothing seems out of place, as far as he can tell.

"No, it looks normal."

A genuinely confused look on his part. No one's verbally complained about his apartment before, so... this is how he usually lives. He doesn't? See??? A problem?????

It looked normal.

It...looked...normal.

Biffy slowly turned to look over the place again. Bottles and trash and who knew what all else everywhere. Orion lived like this normally. Just...like this. It was no wonder that he abused clothes so freely if that was the case.

"You...live like this?"

Uh-oh. Orion can tell something's off. At least it's not the look of horror he got back in the dressing room? Or maybe this is worse because it makes it harder to tell how upset Biffy is.

"Uhm............... yes?"

It's hesitant, not unlike a child trying to pick the right answer to appease a parent but not knowing which answer that would be. Was there even a right answer?

And Orion can't help but hold his breath again, watching Biffy, wondering what will happen next. Worried to lose a good thing before he's actually had it.

He took a hesitant step inside and then a deep breath. And then he turned to face Orion.

"This can't be healthy for you or anyone you have come over. There's trash everywhere which can lead to an infestation as well as a gathering of germs and dust. Besides that, we already confirmed that you drinking isn't good for you but there are alcohol bottles scattered around."

Unbuttoning his sleeves, he rolled them up. This was a man on a mission here.

"Though it isn't my way to clean up another person's place, you and I are going to do that now. After all I'm not even sure if there's a surface for me to sit on currently. Or if you even have clean dishes for offering drinks."

He waved for him to follow him. "Do you have any trash bags? The first things we're going to do is find any alcohol bottles and then you are going to pour them out."

A pause and a blink. Okay, then, this is his life now.

"Urrm..."

Orion sifts his way through trash to get to the kitchen. He's... pretty sure? That the trash bags are under the sink? Maybe? After pulling past a handful of things in there, he manages to resurface with a roll of black bags.

He also passes a glance at the fridge as he walks back toward Biffy. At least most of the bottles that litter the room are already mostly empty.

Taking the bags, he pulled one off and snapped it open. Then he handed it right over to Orion and marched his way into the kitchen where he stopped by the fridge. Orion was so terrible at being subtle...

"We'll start here. Anything that has alcohol in here has to go down the drain and then the bottles will go in the bag."

And yes he was going to stand there and have Orion do it himself.

Orion's face actually pales. Like he might actually be sick at the notion.

Just....

That poor alcohol. Why?

And he's just... frozen in that moment of terror. Clearly torn between wanting to impress Biffy and wanting to keep his liquor.

Good job, Biffy. You actually managed to break him.

Biffy slowly lifted a brow at him.

"This isn't good for you. You're only hurting yourself and you know that."

Then suddenly he had a look of deep concern on his face.

"You...know that. Right?"

Orion blinks, staring at Biffy, almost as if he's uncertain how to answer that. He actually has to think about it.

Does.... he?

"I've honestly never had a problem with it." Or so he thinks. He doesn't see there's a problem. Even with the littering of bottles around his apartment.

"I've... I've dealt with it for years this way. That thing I told you about before, with the hallucinations. It always made it easier."

Except... for more recently, right? Since he started taking his medication again, they got worse instead. So... his answer to that has been to drink more.

He rubs his free hand over his face, looking a little lost.

"It's.... is it that bad?"

Biffy opened the fridge then left it like that. Then he took Orion's hand and got him into a position to see all the bottles everywhere as well as all the bottles in the fridge.

"Look at this as I am. I'm not seeing your apartment. I'm seeing someone hurting himself with something that may numb the pain but doesn't make it go away. This isn't healthy and it's hurting you."

He lowered his eyes to the floor, leaning down to pick up an abandoned bottle there.

"If this is actually helping then why do you need to much of it? If you need this much then it's not working, Orion. It hurts me to see that you haven't seen that. I...want to help."

Orion looks at the liquor bottles surrounding them, absorbing Biffy's words. Biffy thinks it's actually hurting him. And, in a way, his words made sense. Why did it take so much alcohol to numb it. And it didn't really make it all go away, did it? Those times he'd spent days holed up in his apartment all over a bad hallucination. Or Lilly.

And here Biffy was, only wanting to help. And it stirs in him, more than something Fai or Iwai could have said. Maybe only because he likes Biffy so much. But, Biffy says it hurts him that Orion doesn't realise this is hurting himself.

Orion moves and grabs four bottles out of the fridge, opening all of them and dumping them down the drain two at a time. If this will help, if it will not hurt Biffy at his expense, then he'll do this. He's got to try.

He reaches back to the fridge for more bottles, dumping more down the drain. And after those are empty, he leans a hand on the sink, running the other through his hair.

"Just tell me what I need to do, and I'll try. I'll try not to be like this anymore." He sighs softly, scratching into his hair. "I'm sorry."

He wouldn't want to hurt Biffy, especially not over something he's doing to himself.

He watched Orion move, watched him pour out the alcohol. After the other spoke though, he moved in behind him and actually wrapped his arms around him from behind, rested his cheek against his shoulder. Closing his eyes, he just stayed like that a moment to offer Orion as much comfort as he could.

"You don't have to be alone in this. I know it will be difficult."

Biffy wanted to be here for him. To help him through this.

Orion held his breath for a moment as Biffy wrapped his arms around him, feeling the other man against his shoulder. The hand in his hair moves to set itself on Biffy's arm, running his fingers along it, until he reaches the fingers and hesitantly, softly, tangles them with Biffy.

What is he doing...?

"I'll get better, I promise. Everything goes and I'll tell F..." Fai. Fai wasn't his neighbour anymore. He's not there at the drop of a hat to baby Orion anymore. He's got his own life with his own boyfriend in his own house.

He shouldn't intrude on that anymore, should he? He can't make Fai drop everything and keep tabs on him because he's too dense to stop drinking. Not having Fai next door anymore actually kind of sucks. He never knew he would miss being taken care of so conveniently. And now he kind of regrets having been mad at that Halloween party.

So now what? Now what does he choose? How can he make sure he doesn't fuck this up?

"What if I came to you? Would you be okay with that? If I was craving alcohol, or if I'm having problems with my hallucinations... Is that okay? If you don't want to, that's okay."

Orion wanted to rely on him for that? It meant a lot to him that he really wanted to try to get better. Smiling a little, he opened his eyes and gave the fingers tangled in his own a squeeze. This...this was a good start. That Orion would want to do something for him like this but was also wanting to really let him help.

"I don't mind. You will need to show me how I can help you with the hallucinations but I can be there for you. You have my number and you know where I live. If I can help you then I would like to."

Because Orion wanted to try to get better. That was all that Biffy needed to want to help him in return.

"Yea, I'll show you. It's mostly just keeping me focused on something else."

He pauses for a moment.

This is scary. He's used alcohol for that crutch since he was a teen. Even with his medication, he's worried that it won't be enough on it's own. And he has to think. He doesn't want Biffy to get the short end of the stick when he's having an episode.

He has to say something else.

"Listen... Sometimes.... Sometimes they get really bad. Especially with this whole Retrospec thing, I... I couldn't tell what was real, and I probably still can't. So I..."

He wants to stop himself. He wants to pretend he can say nothing at it will never happen again. But he can't promise that. Not at all.

So, he turns himself around to face Biffy.

"I... might have been a murderer in my past life." A pause. "I don't know if you understand that stuff, from the app yet. But... Sometimes it haunts me. Lilly's death. And sometimes, I think my hallucinations base themselves around that. So... you need... you need to know that. If the darker ones show their faces."

This is terrifying. Having to tell Biffy all of this. But he can't let Biffy walk in blind and then surprise him with those darkest things. That wouldn't be fair to either of them.

"...I just need you to know that."

He looked up at him as he told him this dark and scary stuff. He would have been within his right to walk out right then and there. Yet something told him not to do that. Was it because he felt so many had with Orion in the past? Perhaps a small part of it was. But no, he was sure it was more than that honestly.

Biffy looked up at that pretty face that had to be so scared to tell him all this.

And he offered Orion a smile.

"You're not a murderer in this life. I'll figure out how to keep you focused on something else when these happen." It was a promise in that moment. "You're not alone in this. Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me. It means a lot to me."

Oh, thank God!

Orion huffs a heavy breath and rubs his hands over his face, pulling them back in his hair for a moment. He wouldn't have blamed Biffy if he chose to walk away, not one bit. But even he has to admit, him staying feels like such a relief.

"Thank you." He moves his hands to Biffy's shoulders, and then leans forward to rest his head on one of those shoulders. "I mean it, thank you. I can't say how much that means to me."

He blinked in surprise then wrapped his arms around him to pull him close. If he needed this for a moment then Biffy could manage this. Besides, he was hardly opposed to giving or receiving affection. Particularly in moments like this.

"You're welcome, Orion."

Gently, he gave his hair a pet then was smiling again. "Maybe not completely but do you feel better at all?"

Orion nods slightly.

"Yea, alot better, actually."

He's going to do his best, Biffy. He promises. Starting right now, he's not going to touch another drop of alcohol. No matter how hard it is.

And... well, he's kind of enjoying the hug. So, there's that, too. But, before he can do anything he might regret later, he pulls himself back up. Albeit a bit hesitantly. Right, he's got to clean his act up first. Everything else can follow after that.

"Right. I'll... I'll get started, then."

He picks the trash bag back up and starts moving to pick up trash around the apartment, targeting the alcohol bottles first and foremost.

"Here. We'll do this together. You're not in this alone anymore, Orion."

Moving to his side, he helped to pick up pieces of trash so that way he could help Orion clean up his apartment. They could start like this. Picking things up. Organizing. He could show him how to do these things so that way Orion could do them on his own.

Gently, he bumped Orion's shoulder at one point. "I'm really glad you're doing better now."

Orion smiles at Biffy, then gives him a gentle nudge back.

"Yea. Thank you. For listening. And staying."

He knows it can be alot to handle. Hell, it's alot for just him to handle. And all he can think is how lucky he is. Biffy is honestly the best thing he's ever had, and today proves it even more.

And then he pauses as he looks at some of the mess.

"Uhm.... I've never really done this before. So... If I mess up on anything, I'm sorry."

So sorry. He might get lost in this endeavour more than a couple times.

"You don't need to apologize. If you were perfect at everything from the start I might be worried. Besides, I have to give you some measure of credit for being willing to try."

He smiled warmly at him then added more to Orion's bag. It was by far the strangest date he'd been on but for someone willing to do so much for him he had to admit that it was really nice. It meant a lot to him to not be the one to give everything this time.

Not that his last relationship had been terrible. Far from it. But there was something to be said about coming into something on equal ground.

"Well... you matter, that's why."

Straightforward as always.

"I'm really glad to have you around, and I want to keep it that way. And, if this helps you stay around me, I'll do it."

Biffy is definitely the only person he's ever tried for like this. But then, Biffy is also the only one to actually point these things out and be disappointed in his lifestyle up to this point. Orion doesn't mind cleaning up and taking better care of himself for someone like Biffy, not even a little. As far as he's concerned, this seems to be a reasonable request. He can do this. He might have to learn a handful of new things, but he can do this.

His eyes widened a little. That was...that was something he would do for others but he'd really not seen done for him in return. Biffy's cheeks colored at so straightforward an answer. It touched him though and he looked down almost shyly despite the fact that he was anything but that.

"Thank you."

He just... What else was there to say? He didn't know how else to express just what it meant to him that someone would seriously clean up their life to be with him. To show him that he mattered that much.

Orion didn't know he could make Biffy blush. He'd seen it all of once, and that wasn't even his doing, but the doing of a memory from Retrospec. Seeing Biffy like that, and a little shy, it was sweet, cute. It made Orion want to wrap his arms around Biffy and protect him from the world. Even if Biffy isn't all that innocent, he very much so looks it in this moment.

And to be thanked over something like that. He thought Biffy would be used to people doing whatever it took to be near him. Biffy is naturally charming. Who wouldn't want that in their life? Orion was surprised that he wasn't already taken when they first started going on dates, to be perfectly honest. He managed to be lucky enough to get that first date, and the dates after, and to see Biffy willing to help him.

Of all of that, changing was the least Orion could do. To be that better person for Biffy.

Orion reaches out a little to set his hand on Biffy's shoulder, squeezing it softly.

"You're welcome. It's the least I can do."

Biffy smiled gently. He knew he could convince basically anyone to do anything he wanted. He did that sort of thing all the time. It was how he got his way and how he was able to push forward to keep making sure he got his way.

Yet it was another thing for someone to step forward and offer like this. To change to be with him.

"I was the one often needing to change my life around in my last relationship." He gave a pause, realizing that sounded terrible. "Please don't misunderstand. I wasn't tricked into and I don't regret my choices. But I do know now that I likely would have never gotten the same in return. To hear you saying you want to be better so you can be with me..."

He smiled at him then. "It really means so much to me."

Maybe that was why Biffy's last relationship failed. Orion isn't the smartest, especially when it comes to relationships. But aren't you supposed to be willing to give in order to make one work? At least, Orion always thought so. He did try to give, even on those short flings that may or may not have been called proper relationships.

He definitely doesn't want Biffy to feel underappreciated, and he doesn't want this relationship to end if he can have anything to say about it.

"Well, the other ones before, if they didn't want to give to treat you the way you deserve to be, then they don't know what they're missing. You definitely deserve better than that. Even if it wasn't bad, and you don't regret it. They still should have tried."

He seriously can't believe no one would have tried for him. Someone as wonderful as Biffy, it's really surprising no one would give like Orion's doing. Biffy deserves to be happy. Why wouldn't anyone try for that?

"Thank you."

He reached over to give Orion's hand a squeeze before continuing to guide him through cleaning. It took hours for them to go through it all together, with Biffy teaching the other how to organize and clean and do laundry and such. By the time they were done though, it was perfectly livable and Biffy invited himself to sit down with a content sigh.

"Well now that we've done that, would you like to do something fun?"

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(Closed) ......what is this disaster?

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cw: alcoholism, mention of hallucinations

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