[As a fellow college student, he understands these struggles... The wild whacky situations he's gotten into because of the promise of free food, good lord.]

Mm, exactly! Like a puzzle or something. [Which is, at least, better than riddles and riddle hell. "It'll work out in the end" seems quite optimistic but what've they got to lose by believing it...!

Also, he's looking mildly horrified at that.]

Probably exactly like that, except there's no google so you can't check obits or anything to see if they've died. You'd just be left hanging forever.