[ Rejecting Minako feels like rejecting himself, it feels so wrong being apart from her when he so reluctantly lets go and she responds by pulling him back all over again, her forehead bowed against his and he leans more heavily onto hers.
If only he could have Minako with him, he might have the courage to act. If they could be how they were before, him trusting her without a second thought, never saying no because he knows she always has his best interests at heart, loving her so much he would do anything for her... If she were with him, maybe he could stand it.
But right now, the fear of hurting the most important person in his life paralyzes him. He can hardly breathe to respond, Minako's warmth on his forehead burning hot until he can barely stand it for how desperate she is for him to stay, for how desperate he is to stay, but he can't. ]
I promise I'll be back. And until then, I'll text you.
[ Every day... every other day... "i'm okay," "i'm here", and eventually just random keystrokes to let her know he's still alive, never responding to any question she might write back because if he gets caught in conversation, he'll never be able to let go. ]
So... Goodnight, Minako.
[ His dearest.
It should feel like his soul is splitting into two, but it doesn't. Because he'd already left it— all of it— with Minako as he finally pulls away, left with nothing but cold and emptiness. Nothing more than a shadow that is all Minako will see when she opens her eyes, the darkness of the Tower, the world around her, melding into that under her own two feet. ]
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If only he could have Minako with him, he might have the courage to act. If they could be how they were before, him trusting her without a second thought, never saying no because he knows she always has his best interests at heart, loving her so much he would do anything for her... If she were with him, maybe he could stand it.
But right now, the fear of hurting the most important person in his life paralyzes him. He can hardly breathe to respond, Minako's warmth on his forehead burning hot until he can barely stand it for how desperate she is for him to stay, for how desperate he is to stay, but he can't. ]
I promise I'll be back. And until then, I'll text you.
[ Every day... every other day... "i'm okay," "i'm here", and eventually just random keystrokes to let her know he's still alive, never responding to any question she might write back because if he gets caught in conversation, he'll never be able to let go. ]
So... Goodnight, Minako.
[ His dearest.
It should feel like his soul is splitting into two, but it doesn't. Because he'd already left it— all of it— with Minako as he finally pulls away, left with nothing but cold and emptiness. Nothing more than a shadow that is all Minako will see when she opens her eyes, the darkness of the Tower, the world around her, melding into that under her own two feet. ]