recolle | Say it again [closed]

[Foggy was expecting the need to knock on the door and a nerve wrecking quiet minute waiting for Matt to answer. One last chance to brace himself. Instead there's Mr. Supersenses swinging the door open immediately. He swallows and shoots Fai a wide eyed stare as he laughs hesitantly and enters.]

Hey Matt. Uh this is Fai. He generously offered to be [MY WINGMAN] an objective third party. Not that you didn't get the gist from our talk earlier. Yeah. Um. I don't know how much of the embarrassing post I made last night you came across. It wasn't pretty.

[ Matt nods his head sharply once and ducks his head. ]

Yeah. My phone must have loaded your post before you deleted it so I... Have an idea of why you're here.

[ He turns toward Fai and extends a hand, managing a smile. ]

Nice to finally meet you properly Fai, I'm Matt. Tatsuo is also a close friend of mine.

[Had it been Fai in Matt and Foggy's situation he would have suggested meeting somewhere a little less formal, like a bar, although he can appreciate the two of them wanting some privacy to talk about things. Especially these kinds of things. He's been in a lot of weird and awkward dating/relationship situations, but this one might actually take the cake for awkwardness.

But hey, that's why he's here--to try to help!

His voice is light and high when he speaks, and he's got a faint but noticeable French accent. He shoots a sympathetic look over at Foggy.]

Aw, it wasn't that bad!

[(It kinda was.)

Foggy's already warned him that Matt is blind, so there's a brief moment of confusion when the man sticks a hand out for a handshake, but Fai recovers quickly and takes the proferred hand.]

It's nice to meet you too! Any friend of Tatsuo's is a friend of mine. I just hope I can be of some help!

Likewise. He has always said nice things about you... Right. Uh! Please have a seat.

[ He gestures toward the area where a couch and a couple comfortable chairs are around a coffee table. It's where he and Foggy have sat down for movies countless times now, Foggy providing all the descriptive commentary and then some while playing the film of the evening on a laptop.

Thank you Tatsuo for providing a leeway into this conversation. Apparently the elephant in the room isn't going anywhere in a hurry. Matt smiles uneasily. ]

I'm... Not entirely sure where to start to be honest. But maybe one of you have a better idea.

[Foggy takes a seat on the couch where he normally sits during movie nights out of habit. He's wringing his hands and staring upward like there are notes to clue him in written on the ceiling. He glances at Fai then looks towards Matt.]

Well. First I wanted to apologize for posting all that. Sure I redacted your name but I was still bringing attention to your personal struggle. That was a jerk move and if you're mad at me for that I understand. It won't happen again. I promise.

I did realize something though from replies that Fai and others sent me. I think you know what that is just from reading the post. We need to talk again about what this relationship is. I can't continue doing these intimate things with you without knowing exactly where you stand.

[ Likewise Matt is too distracted to give serious thought to where he sits and ends up planting himself next to Foggy as he listens to his apology. He frowns towards the coffee table and shifts a little before finally turning toward Foggy. ]

I honestly was upset at first when I found out about the post. I started going through some of the replies, worried that you'd slip up and say my name. I know you didn't but that still felt like a close call. Please don't do that again, Foggy. I was panicking.

[ His voice quivers slightly when he says that word, panicking. He doesn't say it but it isn't exactly a subtle sign of how afraid he had been in that moment. He lifts his head and takes a deep breath to hold on to his composure. ]

However I will say that the replies I read surprised me. None of them were unaccepting of... None of them judged us for both being men. It seemed a number of them were from others who are in same-sex relationships.

[ That earns Fai a look in his general direction. ]

I have to wonder if people are more accepting in Recolle than I've convinced myself.

[Fai takes a seat on one of the chairs nearby, a polite distance away, and sits quietly but attentively as the two of them start to hash things out. It's their potential relationship, after all. They're going to need to learn to work through the really tough stuff if this is ever going to get off the ground. But hey, it seems like they're doing a pretty great job so far!

He nods as Foggy acknowledges him, and then turns his attention to Matt--and has to stifle a laugh with one hand at that last bit. When he's composed himself a bit:]

Matt... first off, I don't want to belittle what you're going through. I've been out for a long time, and it's easy for me to say "oh trust me, no one will care!" but I remember being a kid, twenty years ago, and trying to figure out all of this stuff. It's scary. I understand.

However, that being said....

[There's a brief pause, and this time he does laugh.]

Honey, you live in a city that's like the Bermuda Triangle meets San Francisco. If anything, people are more likely to squeal at how cute the two of you are together than look down on you for it! I mean... I'm really, really obvious and I can tell you for a fact that I get more dirty looks for wearing an eyepatch than I do for holding my boyfriend's hand.

[ Matt huffs out a laugh and drops his head again. ]

I honestly hadn't thought of the city that way. I guess I've paid a lot more attention to those who would disapprove than considering how many people would be fine with it.

[ He lifts his head again and frowns, hoping his explanation will make sense. ]

It doesn't help that I was at the orphanage growing up. I was thirteen the first time I knew I had feelings for another guy. I met a certain boy at summer camp, he was still going by Franky back then...

[ He turns to smile at Foggy for a second. ]

Silly summer love. We had to part ways at the end of camp and lost contact. But I was left wondering what my feelings had meant. I couldn't ask my father, he was gone. Then in the months following the nuns at the orphanage kicked a couple of the older teen girls out because they found out they were a couple. I never got in trouble with them myself but for years I was afraid they would find out. So I told myself I'd only date women and nobody would have to know that I was attracted to men as well.

Now as an adult I still get anxious. I'm not in contact with the sisters at the orphanage any more but I do go to church on Sundays. After my father died the people we saw at church were the ones who really kept his memory alive. There are people I get to talk to there who remember him. And before you ask, I don't believe God hates gays. [ He shakes his head. ] But... I think some of them do and sometimes when people out there start preaching their hatred I get caught up in it enough to question my own beliefs. I don't want to lose that connection I have to my father or with God but I might not be welcome there if I come out.

[Fai's quiet through all of this, although his smile dims somewhat at the mention of Matt's father.]

I... unfortunately can't give you much advice when it comes to religion or family. I've never had much use for the one and the other hated me without even knowing about the gay thing. And I'm not saying it's always easy. I hit on the wrong guys in high school a couple of times and ended up black and blue afterward.

But the people who really love you will just be happy that you're happy--and it sounds like the two of you are pretty happy when you're together.

[He smiles at the two of them and then shakes his head.]

We've got enough to be afraid of in this city, between the monsters and the tsunamis and everything else. I think it's kind of important to find the things that matter the most to us and hold onto them.

[Foggy nods intently at Fai's suggestion. He draws in a breath and shifts in his seat as he turns to Matt.]

Matt I really wish that you were more comfortable with who you are. I wish you were kinder to yourself. And I'm not saying that because I want you to fly out of the closet with a pride flag waving behind you. It's just something I really want for you. I want you to be happy.

Now I'm going to say something selfish but please hear me out. You know what I said in that post. You know why I'm here today. I think Fai has a great point. Like premium quality must-not-ignore logic there. [He forces a laugh.] We're in the middle of something crazy dangerous. You know how freaked out I am for my students and the loss we've already had. Something could happen to one of us. ["Something could happen to YOU Mr. Vigilante."] What if we miss out on being together a second time? Or hell- this could be a third. ["Hey thanks for being so out of touch with your emotions at moments Last Life Us. Great UST guys."]

[He takes a deep breath and gives Fai a nervous glance then,] I don't need public displays of affection if you can't bring yourself to do that. I don't need to brag to the waiter that we're on a date. Of course I'd like it but being with you is more important to me. And I can't keep treating you like you're my boyfriend without knowing we're on the same page.

So I'm asking you now- should I be waiting for you? Or do you want to be with me now? Do you feel the same way I do? Because this is more than being enamored for me. I really do... you know.

[Holy shit he managed to say all that to him.]

[ Matt ducks his head again, grimacing. Heat rises to his face as he struggles with the tidal wave of emotions that crash on him finally. He runs a hand over his face and fights to find his words. Honestly there are tears threatening to form in his eyes but he doesn't want to cry in front of someone he just met so he hopes his glasses will hide them for him at least until he can say what he needs to say.

Answer the questions. It's that simple. He bites his lip and lifts his head. He takes a breath and starts. ]

I still think you deserve better Foggy. You should be able to have it all including all the silly things couples do together out there where everyone can see. And I know you know that I struggle not just with this but other problems.

[ Alright. Take a breath. ]

I'm going to say something selfish too.

[ He laughs breathlessly and shit tears roll down his face. He licks his lips and smiles painfully against a grimace. ]

I don't want to wait. I don't want to miss out on this again. I want to be with you now, Foggy.

[Foggy's heart is pounding the entire time Matt talks. When he starts repeating his doubtful words about Foggy deserving better he holds his breath and his heart sinks. Then as quickly as he was bracing for rejection his hope comes back and he laughs with Matt and knows what he's going to say.]

About time you let yourself say it you idiot! [Foggy laughs and immediately starts crying. He leans over and wraps his arms around him and looks over his shoulder to Fai mouthing "Thank you" at him.]

[He's not even the one whose happiness hangs in the balance here, but Fai's on pins and needles until Matt's answer comes out, biting his lip and trying not to be TOO obvious about staring between the two of them. And then he's practically giddy when Matt answers, throwing Foggy a little thumbs-up before he stands.]

Right. I'm going to make us some tea. Do you mind if I rummage around in your kitchen for a bit? I think we could all use some tea. Or coffee. Or... whatever you have! I'll be back~

[Whether or not he gets an answer, Fai will be heading off in the direction of the kitchen. These guys obviously need some privacy, and he doesn't want to be a third wheel for this incredibly important moment.]

Y- Yeah! Help yourself! It should all be on the counter in the kitchen.

[ Matt calls after Fai. The moment Fai's footsteps are off in the kitchen Matt pulls his glasses off so he can wipe the tears off his cheeks and he circles his arms around Foggy. ]

I've been afraid to let myself have this. To be...

[ Happy. It's harder to say aloud than he thought it would be but he's pretty sure Foggy understands any way. ]

Like you kept saying. Do better this time. I promise Fog. I'll try with everything I've got.

I know. It's okay. We'll make this work no matter what Retrospec, judgmental assholes, or bad memories come along. No getting rid of me now Murdock. You're stuck.

[He grins and gives him a squeeze then backs up just enough to press their foreheads together. He laughs when they knock into each other a little harder than intended.]

Good thing we found each other again. You're a piece of work. I think you kinda sorta need me. [He teases. Then after a pause] Hey. Matt. I love you.

[ It's difficult not to hear sounds in other apartments and out on the streets but Foggy's words ground him there in that small space and for a moment it feels like just the two of them. He grins back at him and chuckles at his jokes, then both their heartbeats rush together when he says those words. Warm joy floods Matt's veins and he moves so fast he nearly cuts off the end of the "you" coming out of Foggy's mouth as his lips crash into Foggy's in a desperate kiss.

He has to stop a moment later to breathe, a challenge with tears streaming down his face but he steals enough air to answer with a little nod. ]

Love you too Foggy.

[ And he kisses him again. ]

[Foggy's heart nearly leaps out of his chest when Matt kisses him. "Holy-!" He chases after Matt's lips when he breaks away to breathe and tell him and Foggy grabs his face in his hands and wipes the tears on his cheeks with his thumbs as they lean in again. It feels like he's floating. They're laughing and crying and it's wet and this entire scene is sappy as fuck but it's absolutely perfect. Sorry Fai. He needs to kiss his boyfriend's stupid pretty face for a few more minutes before he's ready to talk to anyone else.]

[ Matt is happy to oblige Foggy's need for a while longer until he's sure whatever tea or coffee Fai went to distract himself with is past ready based on the sounds and smell coming from the kitchen. He brushes a strand of soft hair back from Foggy's face and kisses his cheek before sitting back. ]

After this serious meeting is over do you want to stick around and narrate another movie? We can order in something.

[Foggy fakes a gasp.] Are you asking me to stick around for a date? Scandalous Matthew! Hm. You know what? I'd love to.

Good.

[ He squeezes Foggy's hand before standing to head toward the kitchen. ]

I'm going to check on Fai. Make sure he found everything okay.

[It's true--the tea didn't really take that long. There are two mugs steaming nicely on the counter, next to where Fai is leaning back and sipping at a third (full of sugar, of course). He tried really hard not to eavesdrop, really he did. And some of the clattering in the kitchen managed to mask what was going on in the other room.

He lifts his head when Matt appears, grinning over the rim of his mug.]

Ah, I hope it's okay that I got into your stuff! I can replace what I used if you like.

[He's itching to ask how it went, of course, but... judging by how it was going when he left, he can probably guess ;) ]

Oh no you don't have to replace anything. I owe you that much at least for doing this. Did you find everything you needed or is there anything else I can grab for you?

[ The big smile on Matt's face says it all. It does feel like he ought to say something to the effect of what happened. ]

Foggy and I are... We're going to keep things private between friends and family for now but hopefully I'll be ready to be more open in the near future. Maybe you know a place or two where the people don't give you and your boyfriend the evil eye?

No, I think I found everything! I wasn't sure how you guys take your tea though....

[And then all thoughts of tea are basically forgotten, and it's easy enough to tell even from his voice that Fai is nearly vibrating from excitement.]

Aaaaahhh I'm so happy for you! You guys really do seem happy with each other, this is so exciting! [There's a brief pause while he actually, literally squeals... and then takes a moment to clear his throat and collect himself again.]

Hm, I can give you a few coffee shops and restaurants we go to sometimes! Although a lot of the time we just do things around the house together. Making dinner, watching tv. Not because we're afraid to go out! But... neither of us had a really great home life growing up, so it's really nice to get to do cute domestic things together.

[The blush on his cheeks is practically audible. He sounds impossibly fond of his boyfriend when he talks about him. I'm so sorry Matt, he's always like this.]

[ The last time Matt was squealed over he was a child. He blinks in dumbfounded surprise a couple times before laughing. He'll take it as a compliment? He wouldn't be surprised if Foggy is cute enough to induce some squeals from people so maybe that's where this is coming from? ~~What do you mean they're both cute? He's a dangerous person who dresses up like the devil. Serious business. No cute involved.~~ ]

Thank you. We uh... We really are happy when we're together.

That would be great. I'm sure Foggy would like to know your recommendations too. [ He adds some sugar to Foggy's cup and a tiny bit of cream before grabbing them both to carry back out. ]

Nothing wrong with staying in if that's what makes you two happy. How did you and your boyfriend meet?

[He's about to protest that he can grab the mugs, since he knows Matt is blind (??), but the other man seems to be getting around pretty well--and after seeing another guy with NO EYES walking around and tapping on his phone a few weeks ago, hell. Fai can't put anything past anyone at this point. So he'll just trail after Matt and try to help if it seems necessary at any point.]

Of course! I can ask some of my other friends where they like to go too. Although Jirou and Kenta usually go to places way too expensive for people like us!

[Hey, there are a lot of people on the network, but it's still a fairly small community. And Jirou has a BIG personality. There's a decent chance one of them might know him.]

At a paintball shop, actually! He runs a paintball shop, and I was looking for part-time work for some of my foster kids to keep them out of trouble. He's kind of a grump and a hermit, so I don't think he really wanted to be friends at first, but I can be pretty persistent~

[ ~~Oh Fai please go home and google some articles about how independent the legally blind actually are in modern society.~~ Matt heads back toward the sitting area and holds Foggy's tea out to him. ]

Jirou and Kenta? Are they the couple that have been in love pretty much since as long as they can remember? I think I had a conversation with Jirou on the network and he was very enthusiastic about his sweetheart.

Maybe you and your boyfriend have run into Derek Matthews? He's into paintball. He's an old friend from when Tatsuo and I were at the orphanage and happens to be Foggy's adopted cousin. Foggy and I were reunited when Derek arranged a Thanksgiving dinner between his friends and family.

Yep, that's them! They're adorable together, aren't they? I had to give them a little nudge too though! Can you believe they weren't even dating, with how crazy they are about each other?

[Fai takes a seat back on the same chair and sips at his tea, nodding without really thinking about it. But of course then he adds:]

We have! I think he and Mune-chan are pretty good friends, actually, and he's friends with my adopted daughter. Small Retrospec world, huh!

[Foggy thanks Matt and takes the mug from him.]

Huh. You know both Tatsuo and Derek then? The four of us hang out sometimes. And I think that Derek is pals with the Kenta dude you just mentioned. Unless there's another Kenta getting married soon.

Really is a small Retrospec world. How old is your adopted daughter?

[ Matt sits next to Foggy again. ]

I would say it's crazy those two weren't dating when they were already close like that but I think I lost the right to criticize some months ago.

[ He does his best to hide the embarrassed expression that follows behind his mug as he blows on the tea and sips from it. ]

I don't know Derek as well as Mune-chan does, but Tatsuo's a good friend! I haven't gone to see him as much as I should lately though, the last few months have been kind of tough. [He says it off-handedly, giving the comment much less weight than it might deserve were the situation different. He's here for Matt and Foggy, not to regale them with his own troubles.] We should all hang out sometime, since we all know each other now!

[Fai smiles a lot anyway, but he smiles especially brightly when he's talking about either his boyfriend or his "daughter."]

She's fourteen. Her name is Sakura, you might have seen her on the network~! You teach at the high school, right Foggy? So you'll probably be seeing her in the next few years! And you probably already know Noah, he lives with us too~

[He grins at Matt's comment but lets it slide for the moment. He doesn't know these guys quite well enough to tease them mercilessly about this just yet. Give it ~~a day~~ some time.]

Another student for you Foggy.

[ At this rate what kid won't be familiar with Mr. Nelson at some point? ]

Derek and Tatsuo do enjoy a little party. I bet they'd take you up on the offer for everyone to get together.

Now that I think about it, I don't recall Tatsuo telling me how the two of you met.

Yeah. I teach English and Drama. So you and Mune are Noah's guardians?
Wait don't tell me. [His eyes narrow.] Three of you on the network. Is young Sakura also on the app?

[Too damn young for this shit.]

Edited 2018-05-15 09:17 (UTC)

I started taking self-defense classes from him, actually! After this whole Retrospec thing started I was pretty freaked out--I don't know if either of you were on the app back then? But when I first got it, it started sending us pictures of ourselves. From really close up, like they somehow had hidden cameras in our homes or something. Or like someone was stalking us. [There's a slight pause there.] So a... mutual friend, at the time, recommended taking classes with Tatsuo, and that's how we met!

[Fai smiles at Foggy over the rim of his mug of tea.]

I'm Noah's legal guardian, while his dad is... indisposed. And Sakura's on the app too. [He nods.] All of us are, except Sakura's brother. The kids are all legally mine, either adopted or as a ward, in Noah's case. Mune-chan helps me a lot though, he's really good with them! Although if you ever meet him, you should probably call him "Iwai." I think it's a Japanese thing--

[He's about to start rambling about what little he knows about the Japanese and formality--please don't get him started rambling, he'll go on forever about just about anything--when a thought occurs and his good eye lights up.]

Ah, you should meet him! How about a double date? I'll bring Mune-chan and the four of us can go out somewhere!

[Of course she is on the network. Foggy is going to scream "Retrospec!" from the rooftops in rage any day now. He bites his lip and contains his reaction while Fai tells them more.]

Retrospec was taking creepy photos? This is the first time I'm hearing about that.

Always good to meet one of the adults behind the student. Iwai sounds like a cool guy. I'd be up for a double date sometime. -If you feel comfortable with that? [He turns to Matt.]

I was told about Retrospec tracking everyone but I hadn't been told about photographs getting sent either. That's awful.

[ Another creepy story from previous months, yet not as impactful as it would have been. They've gotten far too used to these kind of things haven't they? ]

Oh. If it's a group outing I don't see why not. Somewhere you and Iwai have felt more welcome?

[ Double dates can pass as groups of friends hanging out right? ]

Say it again [closed]

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