recolle | [CLOSED]

[ It took Minato a little longer to get out of the apartment and meet up at the shop; he walks in with a heavy backpack as well as a side bag, bow and quiver clamped under one arm, looking more like he's about to go out for an expedition than meet his cousin for lunch.

He is, in fact, going out on an expedition and simply forgot about it until this morning, but talking to Shiori felt more important than cancelling plans, so here he is pulling up two extra chairs so he can set his stuff down without it being a tripping hazard. ]

I'm starving... Did you already order? I know what I want.

[Seeing all that stuff is a bit surprising, but Shiori wouldn't doubt his cousin to be a somewhat busy person. This was Minako's twin after all. These two always seemed to be doing something. It makes Shiori feel like maybe he needs to step up and actually make more than just the one or two friends he has.]

Not yet. I didn't wanna be rude and eat before you, but I know what I want. [He motioned for the waitress to come over.] This place has a crab ramen I've been wanting to try.

[ Maybe Minato doesn't know what he wants after all. Crab sounds good, and he's never tried it before, but he sticks with his usual order in the end, mixed seafood broth with shrimp and an extra egg. ]

You'll have to let me try some crab. I'll trade you half an egg.

[ It's one of the things he misses a lot about home, the seafood when he's always lived right up against the port; on the other hand, Recollé is also right up against the ocean, but the restaurants aren't always as big on seafood as they should be. ]

Deal! [One thing he loves about ramen is that it's always got eggs in it. Shiori might or might not at times order ramen with extra eggs. Just for kicks he'll order tempura as well. Nothing like something crunchy to go with soft noodles.]

So. Yeah. Should I start from the beginning or just the time where Sora started crying?

[ Hell yeah. It's a fair deal, even though he loves onsen eggs and can never quite make it right at home. He leans back in his chair while he waits, balancing on the back to legs and trying to keep from falling over; it makes waiting easier, and not be so awkward as to just sit there and stare at Shiori as he talks. ]

From the beginning, I guess. I don't even know why you two weren't getting along, just that you don't live together. Guess I never asked because I thought that was normal.

[ Family not living together and such, as it's been for him and Minako. ]

Well... after our dad died, we moved here to Recolle. Mom got a job, so it was easier than staying in Hawaii... all her family is, was, in Japan at that time. Except Auntie. She and Minako were here. [Shiori sips at his soda before going on.] I threw myself into school. Applied for a boarding school with mom's permission and since we were low income and I had good grades, I got a full ride scholarship. I was... ten at the time? I thought Sora would write me, or call, or something...... I spent seven years there not really coming home except for Christmas and our birthday.

[ It took Minato a long time to accept that Shiori and Sora were his cousins, but hearing "Auntie" and taking a second or two to realize this is his aunt too, the idea of an extended family will never stop feeling weird. Even stranger is he uncanny feeling he has when he listens to Shiori and tries to envision all of that happening— and he can see himself in Shiori's shoes so easily. Actually, he can just as easily envision himself in Sora's shoes too. ]

I can kinda see where this is going already... The thought that he didn't care enough to keep in touch. And he probably thought he would've just been a bother if he did call or something. Was it like that?

... yeah. I yelled at him about that. Because I tried to write letters, to keep in contact... I stopped after a while when he didn't respond. I thought he was happier without me. He never told me otherwise when I would come to visit. Sora thought I left because I hated him and wanted to get away. We used to talk about problems before dad died. After? I think that's where everything went wrong.

[Both had such different ways of grieving and it took a toll on their relationship.]

[ That's, uh. Hm. Reminding him of how Minako kept writing to him until he left home and didn't even leave an address for her to reach him anymore, and he assumed she gave up. He and Minako had tried— her more than him— after their parents died, but everything ultimately crumbled in between them too. ]

...It's hard, isn't it? I guess for me, when mom and dad died, I needed that time alone. I didn't want to talk to anybody. And it's harder to talk to family, somehow.

I wanted to talk, but it was easier just to dive into books. Mom was worried about our well-being, and Sora... he didn't want to talk about it. Still doesn't want to talk about it. Like it'll go away if he pretends it never happened.

[Come to think of it, this is the most he's ever talked about the situation with their dad.]

I still wanna talk, but I don't, because it's not easy. And I really hate crying in front of people.

[ People deal with stress and loss in different ways; that's what he remembers Shiori telling him. Minako, with such a great capacity to care, cries despite her telling herself not to. Minato, with his dearth of care, has forgotten how to cry. He'd rather Shiori be the former, crying, because he cares, hurting, because he cares, never give up trying to talk with Sora, because he cares. ]

It's never easy... and it doesn't get much easier. If you want to talk, it's something you'll have to do eventually, or you'll never find peace. It doesn't have to be with Sora, not at first. Nor does it have to be in person.

... I know. Maybe I'll find someone to talk about with it. I'm not up for a therapist, tried that in boarding school, and she just wanted to talk about how my feelings might affect my grades. That's all she cared about was the scholarship students maintaining their grades so they could avoid suicide and self-harm attempts.

[Grades always came first. They still do in a way.]

I don't think I can talk to Sora. Not for a long time. Not about dad.

[ Minato breathes something that could be either a laugh or a sigh or something in between. ]

School therapists... they want to believe depression is caused by academic stress. That becoming social is as easy as talking to your classmates. Sometimes, anyways. [ He can only speak of his own experiences, after all, and it was that therapy helped little when they weren't talking about what he needed to talk about. It didn't help when he tried during school, but he was make to go back after some things happened last month, and that helped a little bit more.

On the way home from one of those sessions, he'd met Sora on the street, and they talked about... Minato breathes another sigh- and it's a sigh this time, no humor behind it. He should have asked for details, but he never does. ]

I think Sora would appreciate somebody to talk to. It doesn't have to be about your dad, not at first. I— this is advice I gave to Minako too- You don't have to go into a conversation with an objective in mind. Just sitting and talking about whatever is find, topics will come and go. Stuff like that helps, even if it's indirect.

I didn't... really talk to anyone. They were all mostly rich kids or military types who didn't really have anything in common with me. [Hence why for the longest time Haru was Shiori's only friend, and then only got to see her when he came to Recolle on the weekends.]

... at our birthday party we talked... he told me my life was easy, and I told him that it wasn't. That I'm not smart. I gave up having a social life and being a kid just to study. He didn't expect that. Then we talked about cats running for president. [It was the most relaxed he'd been with his brother in a long, long time.] But this, what I really need to tell him, eventually... I don't know how to bring that up. How to start. And I need to tell him. He needs to know that whatever it is I remembered might mean we're not twins, not matter how much we want to be.

[ That was a bit harsh of Sora, Minato thinks, to believe that anybody's life is easy- everybody has their own struggles, some hiding the fact better than others. He knows that Sora's been struggling academically, so having a brother on scholarships and everything probably stung a little, but it's hard work, and a lot of time, and it's tough of both sides.

It's a good start to understanding each other, nevertheless. He and Minako hadn't made any progress on that front since the start of the year, and now the year is almost half over.

He sits up a little straighter, leaning his elbows on the table. ]

Start by talking about cats. [ He's serious. ] ...If you bring it up right from the beginning, I think that would be more upsetting than if you two were laughing and comfortable with each other. It'll be easier to talk that way, and it's like... saying you don't have to be twins, to have that sort of relationship with each other.

[It doesn't help that Shiori refuses to admit he's depressed since Sora is so much more open with his feelings. Only one of them is getting help, but talking about it finally has made some peace between the two of them.

Minato. Maybe sitting down and having one of these talks with Minako will help.]

... he does know a lot about them. I was thinking of getting another one, so I could use that as an excuse to message him to hang out. Schools ending soon and I don't wanna get in the way of his studying.

[ Why does depression run in the family... But considering the circumstances, maybe he shouldn't be so surprised. Minato's own mood has been up and down these past few months, but that's a whole lot better than the constant stagnation he's been wallowing in— it's gotten better because he's gotten to talk, not about his past or his situation or his feelings, but just talking helped a whole lot, and this is something he thinks would help his cousins too. ]

It's a good time for it. Getting to talk for an hour or two... think of it like a study break. I bet he'd appreciate that, and you can always help him study, too.

[Because genetics can be a bitch.]

I'm... doing a lot more study breaks recently. I didn't use to break for anything. It's kinda weird, but I feel like I'm studying better because of it. Might help Sora, too.

[At least there's some semblance of self-care happening in Shiori's life.]

[ It's good to hear, when Minato's "study breaks" almost surely consisted of going to bed and not waking up for hours at a time. ]

You're finding more stuff you like to do- that's awesome. What sort of stuff?

Baking. I've been trying a few things. Minako wants to give me cooking lessons for regular meals, but we haven't met up for that yet. But sometimes I just sit there and do nothing. It's weirdly relaxing...

[Just staring off into space, letting the mind wander. Like lazy meditation.]

[ Honestly, Minato is on team zoning out. ]

It'd be nice to have another stress baker in the family. If you can't finish any of the baked goods, think of your dear cousin. [ ... ] Your other dear cousin. [ ... ] Me. [ just in case that wasn't clear ]

[Stares at Minato as the waitress puts their food down. Then bursts into laughter as soon as they walk off.]

How about I just give you most of it? I don't actually end up eating a lot of it myself. [It's a waste, but baking is a good destresser.]

[ Minato smiles over his bowl of ramen, not quite laughing, but close to it. ]

Hell yeah. You've successfully bribed your way into becoming my favorite cousin.

[ It's a little tongue in cheek, but at the same time, not really. It's very easy to buy his affection and bread will do it. ]

Finally! I'm someone's favorite!

[A joke. His mom didn't pick favorites. Or so Shiori thinks.]

Is there anything you really like?

[ Minato was the spoiled little brother and likes to think he was his parent's favorite. ]

Melon bread. It's about the only sweet thing I really like and can eat forever. I think Minako's mastered how to bake it by now; she keeps bringing it over.

[Minato why]

I've never tried making melon bread before... It's been years since I've had any! But I can try.

[Don't mind him as he tries the ramen now.... and it's perfect!]

[ look at him. who doesn't love him compared to minako? ]

I'll eat all your failed attempts too. You kinda just let bread do its thing, so I think it'll turn out alright.

[ He turns his attention down to his bowl; he doesn't normally talk when he eats, but one last comment before he digs in as well— ]

After that, you can learn to make ramen, and we can eat this every day.

[Shiori loves them both equally. Sometimes.]

I've never made bread at all, so... maybe I should get a breadmaker. [Can he make melon bread with a breadmaker?]

Oh! I've tried noodles before! That was kinda fun.

How do you make noodles?

[ They look to be a lot more difficult than bread, needing to be cut nice and straight, thin enough to chew, thick enough to not fall apart, long enough for it to be fun to eat. Bread's just got to sit there like a lump and it'll be tasty no matter what. ]

I got myself this gadget that makes pasta. you run the dough through it and it cuts the pasta to the width you set. There's other ways, too, but I've made things like spinach spaghetti that way.

[This guy gets bored a lot and loves to try new things despite acting like he hates new things.]

I don't get to use it often since a lot of the recipes for dough are meant for more than one person.

[ Minato has no idea what spinach spaghetti is but it already sounds delightful. ]

There's a solution to that, you know. It'd be nice to sit down to a family dinner someday. With all four— five... Five of us. Auntie, too.

[ Shiori and Sora's mother, who Minato has barely said hi to in all the months he's lived here, generally keeping to himself and almost never going to Sora's house.

[It's very green, delicious spaghetti that goes really well with sundried tomato sauce or a pesto.]

Mom... she'd be so surprised if I offered to cook dinner for everyone.

[Shiori eats more of his ramen as he thinks about it. This... sounds like something he actually wants to do.] We should plan it. But not tell Minako or Sora. We'll surprise them, too.

Sounds like fun. Sometime next month? I'll help out too- I learned a little from my grandparents when I lived with them.

[ aka he's watched his grandmother cook for a long time, but has no recipe other than a vague and loose "handful of this" and "season to taste". Measuring how much water to pour over rice using the knuckles of your hand, you know, that sort of cooking. ]

Yeah! June is a good season for vegetables. [Something he's learned from his long friendship with Haru.] We can look up recipes and check which ones we wanna try. We can make more than one dish if we can't agree on one.

[What a way to show off that these two can sort of cook than a couple of dishes?]

If we're feeding a lot of people, we'll have to make more than one, right?

[ It's supposedly different than cooking for just one or two, which is what Minato's used to and what he assumes Shiori is used to as well, living on his own. But a family dinner can't just be throwing together whatever so long as stomachs get full. ]

Ramen and bread rolls... Something with rice... I want to eat jellyfish salad again.

Something with rice? Maybe stir fry?

[That's pretty filling, and has a lot of good ingredients.] I haven't had jellyfish salad since I was little. Do you think anyone sells jellyfish around here?

Stir fry sounds good. Jellyfish... would have to be imported, if we don't have the right species in the ocean here. Maybe we can take a shopping trip together to Pesgare after the city is drained.

I've never been to Pesgare... Maybe we'll get lucky and it'll be drained by next month. Then we just gotta figure out how to make a salad out of jellyfish.

[It... can't be that hard????]

[CLOSED]

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