[Closed]

[concasse]

WHO: Sanji and four other stooges
WHERE: Sanji's apartment
WHEN: Afternoon/evening of 3/3
WHAT: Sanji's impromptu birthday party because you bastards won't leave him alone
WARNINGS: A lot of swearing

I. Closed to Usopp.

[Sanji's avoidance of his birthday has been a timely tradition since he was twelve and a lot angrier at the world, striking out with a child's defiance and relishing the sharp disappointment of the man who had let him down. But nowadays?

Shit, it's because he can't work up the effort to give a damn. Not enough people know about the date to warrant a party, or even a "Happy Birthday" text -- and this year more than ever, Sanji doesn't think he could stand the congratulations. He needs time to sort through the clusterfuck that was February, and without the bitter reminder of the monsters that still live in France. And so he plans to spend the evening alone with a bottle of wine and his menace of a cat.

Doesn't count for much, but y'know what? He'll take it.]

II. P A R T E H

[Yeah, so uh...

So much for that peace and quiet he was banking on.

Sanji's apartment isn't tiny, but it's never been cramped with the presence of four full-grown men before (which will tick up to five once someone else shows up at the door with a painting in hand). Where did all these bastards comes from?? And what was once a relatively neat and well-kept home is now littered with wine and beer bottles all over the kitchen counter and tables, with homecooked food being pushed onto whatever available surface space is left.

Sanji spends a good amount of time in the kitchen, swearing at anyone brave enough to try and separate him from the stove. Usopp can't cook worth a damn, he's not willing to test Zoro's abilities, Yusuke is busy petting his cat and Baren already made the rum cake. So lighten up, bastards, he's got this; go mingle in the living room or whatever passes for smalltalk these days.

And if anyone catches Sanji smiling to himself in the kitchen, talk and you die. :)]

III. Trivia

Oi, listen up.

[Sanji nods to the group at large -- yes, all four of ya -- a wine glass cupped expertly in his right hand while he digs out a cigarette and jabs it at their faces]

If I gotta suffer everyone's company for another shitty hour, imma steal some money and pride in the meantime. [What does he mean? Well after shooing Baren to turn on the TV, it's gonna pop up some bargain-bin trivia game, and Sanji grins like the devil at all of them.]

So place your bets, gentleman.

[It's every man for himself.]