[Once, perhaps she didn't care why. If her parents--so worried that their clearly intelligent daughter lacked ambition--hadn't pushed her to try to overcome it maybe she would have ignored the impulse. It was certainly a possibility. Maybe if they hadn't bribed her with piano lessons she would have dropped out of high school like she had done in university. Maybe her apathy was just a natural response to having such high expectations of her.

There were many 'maybe's in Ai's life. Her own hand slips into her pocket. Yes, there's many different possibilities but if there's no expectation of one outcome does it matter? No, perhaps it didn't.]

I have many questions, yes. [Her eyes run over her shopping list briefly. A few more things in this aisle, perhaps. Ai definitely had questions that could have been answered properly. Why didn't she care about so many things? Why didn't she care yet but could still feel things like 'pity'? Wasn't that fact alone enough to exclude her from being anti-social? She had many questions but, like most things, Ai didn't think she would care what the answer was.]

I guess I've always had questions of one kind or another. [Why did the others start making plans for a future even at a young age? Why was she the only one 'lazy' enough to almost fail even the first few grades?] Asking questions and finding answers are two different things, however.

[The grocery list crumples slightly as she closes her hand. As if to make up for even that smallest of noise, her usual smile is just a little bit bigger.] Not that it wouldn't be nice to be happy, of course.